Forget about Woodstock!

We got Habstock!


D'Agostini: "Hey Kovy, I just got a one-year two-way contract! Ain't that cool? If Martin doesn't think I'm ready to start up here, I get to go to Hamilton, where I burnt out all the red lights. I'll also get to work under Coach Le Chiffre! He's bound to teach me the finer points of defense as well as offense! What do you think?"
Kovalev: "..."
Bob: "Alex, get yer sulking arse over to the Ottawa bench..."
Lapierre: "Mmm, water."

Stewie's back to kick your ass for one more year (or more!)

Wearing his newly scalped Bruin. So avant-guarde!

Probably the best quote I've seen to describe Greg Stewart would be "he's ambidextrous so you never know which of his fists is going to break your nose." He's also made of rubber, and never seems to bruise. My brother thinks he's made of stone. Maybe he's a golem! Still, not bad for a guy who basically took up hockey on a whim. Bonus, he'll be RFA next season too, like a pack of other players we got. Montreal HEARTS you, Stewie!

And now, we reminisce on Stewie's accomplishments.

BIFF!


POW!


ZING!
(Oh yea, who won that game? Yo. Suck it Western Conference TV guys. It's like they've never seen anyone stand up to a wrecking ball before. Oh right).

In other news, the Leafs have given up on Pogge and sent him to the Ducks, while going out to sign Joey Mac, instead of using their newly acquired so-called goaltending guru to mold the young lad better than the waste of a system he was festering in previously. Say hi to Scott Clemmensen and Tuukka Rask, part 3!

Soapbox: It's getting kind of personal...

A blaring headline on my twitter screen reads "NHL wants Balsillie out of mix for Coyotes". As curiosity compelled me to click it, the subtitle of the article made me laugh extremely out loud (good thing I live alone). The subtitle proclaims "Team owners conclude Canadian billionaire would be untrustworthy".

Heh.

Now the summer soap opera of the Coyotes has brought as much amusement to me as Dany Heatley's ongoing soap opera, but the previous comments of Daly, Bettman, and now the BOG have totally jumped ship to the Comedy Network. Apparently the perfect character to buy a struggling team needs to be like the ever honest fraudsters that have recently plagued the League and currently find themselves residence in jail. I'll even take a stab at our dear George Gillett, who for all intents and purposes didn't really want to sell but ended up going for the money 'cause that pricetag sure was delicious enough even though I can see him getting more out of a Saudi prince for his soccer team... (And sorry George, but I hear the football league is going to be in heaps of problems some day soon thanks to overspending and underfunding, but hey, the Molsons say "hi").

Declarations topping this motion in the Anti-Bals charge this time is noted greedster Jeremy Jacobs, owner of the Bruins, and Craig Leipold, ex-Preds current-Wild owner, on the fact that Balsy would be untrustworthy despite the fact they approved him as an owner 3-times before fucking around with him. Also Leipold should know that Balsillie was so untrusting that William "Boots" Del Biaggio III got a higher nod over him...with intention to move that franchise anyway to Kansas City later, but that's fine 'cause Bettman would OK that one...you know 'cause it's not a hockey market but makes the NHL look big. Some notion that "bigger means it's good" or something. Whatever. (Also gotta laugh at the BOG snub nosing Balsillie's mock-season tickets drive, when Kansas City itself was peddling luxury boxes, but it's supposedly not considered the same thing).

Of course with the Pens, Bals wanted to move that deadbeat team (at the time) to Canada too, so that's why he was shuffled out on it. But it also took Lemieux to blackmail the city with a move to Kansas City if their new building wasn't built. Hey, Kansas City seems super popular! And it isn't even really in Kansas! (It's Missouri, which sounds like misery, and yes I know about the minor minor leagues there, but I also know many of them are folding because no one cares to see them).

Difference is, Pensburgh is a fairly viable hockey market. I mean, at least they get SNOW and don't have golf as their major selling point. And after being horrible for so long, now live off the easiest choices of drafting and a Stanley Cup for their troubles. Preds? Eh. When they have to explain to you what icing is on the jumbotron time after time, I start questioning. And while Garth Brooks is a fairly big hockey fan, he wouldn't even buy the team either... But the Coyotes don't have a bad set of players either. Despite that, they still can't sell tickets until the Habs or the Flames roll into town.

And your theory about "who would care about a Rangers vs Hamilton/Waterloo game" is moot because no one gives a damn about a Rangers vs Phoenix game either.

Plain and simple: no one gives a damn down there. Sure there are fans of the team, but most of the people in town would rather just head over to the Cardinals across the street (if they do even that). And no one gives a damn elsewhere. Like the Panthers--and I know Panthers fans--there are fans of the team, but they are so far and few that while the team was a step away from making the playoffs the NFL still took the centerpiece of the papers. Not that they paid them much attention anyway. Hell, hockey below the Mason Dixon line is moot in newspapers, as a first hand experience during the playoffs while vacationing in Washington/South Carolina. (I barely found a team shirt and when I did it was just Ovie and Semin...oh and the store was very very empty). And I pity the fool that has to deal with the local broadcasting of Lightning games (cringe). Makes you wonder if anyone can stay a fan of teams via these outlets when they don't even put the effort to said the players' names correctly. Isn't that right, Corey Price?

But you want to get personal, NHL? OK. The NHL started because the team owners were upset at the constant arguings, wranglings and general annoyances by Toronto owner Eddie Livingston. If the BOG had any balls of their own like they did in 1917 and got fed up with Bettman's constant arguings, question dodging, nose up in the air, Napoleon attitude and Daly's ass-licking followings, could they maybe do the same? In particular, say, the Canadian teams tired of paying for their failed "brothers" when lord knows that money would never go the other way should a local franchise need some cash, break the League and create their own? Call it the Canadian National Hockey League. After all, we wouldn't have problems selling tickets or TV time up here to our audience, and Bals could make his franchise all he wants in both Hamilton AND Waterloo (and Quebecor could make their QC team too boot). Winnie would return. I dare say, a team in the Maritimes. Our league's cashflow would nary miss a beat, nor suffer loss of interest, but I can't see the Rags and the newly rejuvenated Hawks or Bruins happy with sharing their money to feed the struggling franchises in the sun. I can also see many of the teams like Buffalo and the hockey holiday ticket price hikers of Florida suffering way more from lack of Leafs/Habs fans. On the flipside, I do know the Habs and Leafs would be very happy to NOT be sharing their profits to keep Vinny happy in beachland. (Sorry to Habs fans outside Canada though, but there will probably be a way to get Habs games somehow on TV, and if not, there's always the internets. If I can find a way to watch Dallas or Chicago, then anyone can). Eventually, through this scenario, would the Bettman NHL turn into a one-team NHA league like Livingston's?

It's all food for thought. At the same time, it isn't uncommon in the business world to reward failure with a bailout or two, but the NHL isn't the automobile industry. So when the BOG and Bettman and Daly finally get their heads out of their arses perhaps they'll smell the real scent of the manure they've set themselves up with. However, if by September, Jerry Bruckheimer offers a bid on condition to move the team to Las Vegas and he gets the OK to do so, then the League has officially nuked the fridge.

The thunder rolls...

Random Friday: Someone just made my day

That dog from Duck Hunt was always my nemesis, but today, he's my hero...

(And that's MVParkov bringing out his inner video game-ness.).

How could you neglect this face?

Dear Hamilton,

Though I wholeheartedly support to Make It 7, why do you keep forgetting about adorable little me? I'm your kind and loyal pro-hockey team, and I've been around for a good long while...

With me you were able to witness the beginning of many NHL stars as they diligently worked their way up the ranks. I brought you joy when I won Ontario's only championship trophy in...eons. And with me, the silent and tireless charity work of many young players like Maxwell and Weber and countless others brought hope and happiness to your city and your children through school programs, sports recreation and hospitals. And I always try my best to do my best even when I'm injured or my friends have to go play with the big guys 'cause of their own injuries. Also PK Subban is coming to town! Isn't that exciting?

And am I not adorable when the Marlies and their immitation puppy dog mascot gets destroyed when they come to visit?

So why would you openly forget about me every time on national TV when my handsome logo rests on the ice of the Copps Coliseum. How could you forget that I have a most appropriate and very original goal song that even comes with it's own dance? It's far better than that damn howl... Why would you select that ratty old scavenger pup from the desert when he should go back to Winnie where he belongs?

Please, Mr. Balsillie. While I support your efforts, don't evict me from the Dog Pound (even if it's in our lease that says you can do so) that is so conveniently located near my divisional rivals. While I'm sure the good people of Newfoundland would welcome me into their homes with open arms, and actually fill the building to capacity every night, St.John's is so very far away and inaccessible by roads.

So while you continue dreaming of hearing Derek Wills call a Montreal/Hamilton game, please try to remember this adorable little puppy. I can be trained to bite Bettman if you like.

Sincerely,
Cute, little Bulldog

You make me into this

Replace the face of poor doomed Torchwood scientist with Dany Heatley's and you get my drift about my sentiments right now.

Forgive me as I explode on an angry rant for a moment, but really, what the holy glorious fuck is wrong with everyone? We first get a rumor that Bob is thinking of trading with the Kings for the holy trilogy (that would be Frolov, Kopitar, and haha Schenn) for the Kostitsyn brothers, Rhino, Dagger, Stewie, Hammer, and a partridge in a pear tree. Not only is that by itself downright delusional, but it's downright insulting (to the Kings mostly, for I can't see them being that stupid to trade away their Big Three even if it's for our whole depth chart). This has now ballooned towards another Californian team, and it's all Dany Heatley's fault.

That's right, Heater. If this all comes true, and it's your fault, well I for one will be truly annoyed at what your drama has transpired and that it now involves MY team to satisfy your fucking needs you disgruntled asshat.

But my anger is not solely directed at that disgruntle twat. I'm more angry at what has happened to the fans of this team. The new rumor du jour is that the Sharks want to make a deal for Heatley, but they're lassoing the Habs into it to help because apparently Cryin' Bryan isn't happy with what Team Teal has to offer. The usual suspects are named from Halak to Higgy (OOPS pick again), and on their side it's the Cheechoo Train, Erhoff, and yet another 1st round pick (which San Jose seems to never want, and seriously, thank you for Pacioretty again). Then there's also Marleau, I guess because he's got a french-sounding last name even though he's not french. But this has now spiraled down to pondering a trade that includes...CAMMALLERI?! I was just at Fairview today and they already have his t-shirts on sale and you think he's on the list to being traded when he just fucking signed with the team last month and has been running around clicking his heels whilst jumping through the air proclaiming "I'M A HAB WOOOOO"?! Seriously, how stupid are some fans to even speculate openly such a thought as reasonable, especially considering what may be returning in the other direction for what will be lost?

Know what I call this? Cabin fever for hockey fans. Offseason is HELL.

What has me worried, however, is that Dagger and Stewie have yet to get their contract (they have their qualifying offer though, but the final terms are as much a mystery to me as to you). But are we now the Expos? Are we the training ground for the NHL where we raise some fine young talent and then quickly dispatch them to other teams in the league so they can come back to haunt us until they either find their way back here later or go on to have fine careers? Sure Stewie is a fringe player, but he's a character guy who's still growing, and has proven himself useful not just to the Dogs (where he scores his goals) but to the Habs (where he punches people). Of course Moen is probably securing that part, and will probably include some goals there, but one shouldn't give up on the kid with the rubber face yet particularily when the team's supposed guard spends most of his time on the IR and Conboy isn't exactly NHL ready yet (he's not an enforcer though, he's just a tough player). Same for Dags, who will learn a great deal from the new guys Bob signed up (who head for the net and use their speed, which is what he needs to remember to do as it gave him his success).

You know, I was enjoying the quiet where the last bit of signing info was for a career backup goalie to backup the backup. Sure the summer has been a pile of rainy shit and we've not seen the sun more than once a week (if we're lucky), but this has just nuked the fridge for me. And if something does come of it, and we lose more because someone needs to satisfy Heatley's little tiff with his coach, then after all the excitement I actually felt for the changes, and all the pain of dealing with the changes, will just be thrown off the bridge into the river where it will wallow with the mutant fishes. I'm even starting to hope some big storm knocks out all internets until October.

Right now I could use a good pick me up. So as the storm clouds swirl around the Heatley Maelstrom and it slowly, hypothetically sucks us into it...I'll take the Doctor's word about hope being a good emotion. And for the love of whatever, Bob, don't trade the Kostitsyns!!!

Oh hey Thursday

I'm so bored that I'm actually searching for funny Green Lantern pictures and found myself a page devoted entirely to Hal Jordan's head traumas. Fascinating stuff.

Oh and the new boys checked out the practice center and got their new sweaters. Hal Gill came last week, just to make sure he arrived on time for training camp. Golden comment via Gomez, "I love this jersey." So do I, mister. So do I...

Calamari dropped a Slapshot joke. For that, he gets the C in my book!

Slow news day...

So how is your life? Bored yet? We're nearing the middle of summer and I'm snowstalgic thank you very much. I'm so sick of rain. Rain in the morning. Rain in the afternoon. Rain in the evening. If I wanted rain, I would have transferred to EA Vancouver. Rain on weekends. Sunny on weekdays, like today, when I'm stuck at work staring at the ceiling or doodling random sprites to keep myself from going absolutely insane. There's only so much offseason a Montrealer can handle...

So what's in the news?
- The Leafs and the Flames traded nothing for nothing. I've chalked this up to a whatever on the Richter scale. It's so whatever that it's not even worth mentioning the names of the players involved.
- The Islanders haven't signed another goaltender but Josh Harding is twiddling his thumbs as an RFA.
- The Devils are copying our Centennial Plaza only instead of being awesome and historic in nature, it's dorky to the power of 10 and doubly lame and doesn't even have cool player statues... They call it the Championship Plaza, and it's grand centerpiece is the Rock of Prudential which is supposed to be a recreation of the Rock of Gibraltar as a symbol of strength. I mean, yea it's cool that Prudential has been around for 124 years, IN NEW JERSEY, but it's a bloody financial company! That would be like Molson deciding to make a statue of a giant beer bottle in the center of our plaza, being a 200-year Montreal family success story... Add in a generic hockey player statue that isn't even Brodeur, stone markers honoring the 3 Cups, 4 Conference Championships, and 8 Division Titles, a 1001 "Rangers Suck" fan bricks, and it leaves me wondering just what the hey are they trying to do here... They can barely fill an arena with fans let alone a plaza. At least we waited 100 years to make ours matter...
- Apparently a new bidder for the Coyotes wants to bring them to Saskatchewan for a few games and hope the locals will actually take a shine to the team. To which I say HA! because the locals are just going to do like the locals in Phoenix do: use the team as a legitimate excuse for the Habs to come to their town. You know you can solve this whole problem by just moving the damn team back to Winnipeg...
- You might have noticed I put up the link to Carey Price's official page. While he has yet to do anything with it, I've noticed the scary stalker fans are starting to post comments... Maybe the website wasn't such a good idea eh kiddo?

I'd like to leave off with this:

Does this picture not send a shiver down your spine? By the holy ghost of Howie Morenz... Who needs Forum Ghosts when the reincarnations can actually join in and play!

Random Friday: My moment of glory

During Draft Weekend, a bunch of us got together for a tweetup thing. One of the planned activities was a floor hockey tournament in the deathly hot but really nice Fieldhouse of McGill University. I, of course, took up my post in a net way too big for my AAA Midget frame. On team "USA" was the ever notorious Eklund in nets, who was more proportional to the nets used and looked like a Flyers player, and came in full garb from the special padded shorts to an iPhone in case he would miss some super scoop or rumor. (Got a call from Jim Balsillie later). If I was dying in my regular barely protective gear, I could only imagine how many pants sizes he lost that day (e3).

In any case, the game was 4-all tied by the end, so we went to a shootout. The shootout itself ended in a 1-all tie (my brother got one lovely high shot that he surprised himself with), so I suggested we goalies got the chance to end it. I mean, have you ever seen Carey Price's wrist shot? With a paddle stick? He'd put most forwards to shame!

Eklund didn't use his paddle stick though. He took one of the regular sticks and hobbled his way towards me like a sneaky Scooby-doo villain. Shot the puck, and I gloved it (well, swatted it away with my glove... I can't actually catch those floor hockey balls with a glove with my baby hands). So it was up to me.

I dropped my glove and blocker and grabbed my trusty Sher-Wood. Eklund decided to try and scare me and lunged forward to poke check. Only he missed, and I nearly poked him in the head avoiding him. But he never got to the ball, and I slipped it past him, right into a yawning cage for the gold.

I made a gif of it!

Aim for the head!

If there's anything Shaun of the Dead taught us about zombies it's that they can be trained to do various odd jobs and manual labour, as well as be your chained-up-companion in the tool shed where you sneak off to play video games with. The film does warn us that your buddy zombie might try to bite you but you simply have to tell him not to and it won't.

I hear the ones wearing turtlenecks are quite vicious, and could randomly throw a punch at a guy should he dare to slash their goalie (they're quite protective), however they do have a tendency to maneuver like a little girl. I for one welcome the ZombiePleks back for another year. Because in this year he will work to prove to us all that zombism isn't the crippling effect we've all come to believe. Those years of anti-zombie propaganda have totally undermined the true power of a zombie. If anything a zombie is quite powerful: for one, they can't be killed, as they are the undead, unless you aim for the head but as most films have shown us people are usually too stupid to realize this and only get it towards the end when all hope is already lost and the zombies have pretty much won. They might be slow and sluggish, but some have been known to run pretty fast, and they're tenacious at obtaining their ultimate goal, which would be to munch on your brains or the brains of an unsuspecting Pens goaltender.

And when the zombie apocalypse arrives, SuperZombieTurtlePleks will have the jump on us all. Though I've managed to score a 76% survival rate on a hypothetical zombie event and according to my friends, I would probably be the last one standing in our inner circle. Therefore, in the event of a zombie apocalypse, it would be just you and me, Pleky. Do you feel lucky, punk? Well? Do ya?

And this is what happens on a Sunday afternoon...

This is what it's all about.

Just a bunch of guys playing the game they love for the holiest of keggers, the Stanley Keg. And yes, Louis Leblanc and his team of younguns are old enough to drink it. Well, they are in my province anyway.

You can view video of the event here.

Random Friday: Bob must be a fan...

A James Bond fan that is!

I've mentioned many times how I found Guy Carbonneau to be the French Canadian twin of James Bond Daniel Craig. (No, not when he was Mullet Guy). It just dawned upon me that new Bulldogs HC/Habs-coach-in-training (waiting) Guy Boucher reminded me of another James Bond character...

Bond villain, Le Chiffre!

Snappy suits, and a bizarre facial scar shapped like a V, here he is plotting evils on the powerplay. They're about the same height too. (According to Fleming).

Oh irony shot!

NHL schedule released! Or how we plan to tire everyone out before the Olympics

Because as per tradition the Habs have to bust out of the gates on a FIVE GAME ROAD TRIP that includes a 3-game swing out West. Really? So soon? I haven't been paying attention to the Olympics because it angers me to no end but I'm guessing they gotta squeeze out all they can from Canucksland early to prep it for various things. (Oh I don't think I'll start ranting about how annoyed the Olympics have made me just yet...but if it had a motivational poster, the phrase DOING IT WRONG would come to mind).

Right after the early Western swing, the boys get to annoy their wives/girlfriends for 6 straight games. That averages out to about half a month of home cooking and favourite restaurant haunts. But overall NINE back-to-backers, with one being consecutive, another pair being a Florida trip, and a few home-away all nighters.

Basically because of the Olympics the teams will get to enjoy the type of schedule the AHL sends out, except with nicer transportation. And while the kids will probably be used to that, this could really test the metal of the few millionaires to show their character...

All this, and we won't even get to see Saku come home for a standing O.

Mark your calendars:
October 1, 2009 - It all starts here, on a Thursday, visiting the Maple Leafs where the newly nicknamed Doucharek will show us how blue his blue eyes can really be against the blue of the Leaf. Sorry Mike, but knowing Burke, he'll just use you as tradebait to dangle in front of the Islanders when he makes his package for Tavares. You could have been a captain! You could have stayed loved! You could have been a cont--ah whatever. HMCS Hal Gill will slowly show us how you could have played.
October 6, 7, 10, 2009 - Flames! Canucks! Oilers! And 10pm games!
October 15, 2009 - My brother's birthday and the home opener. I will have to be the good sister again and attempt to get us tickets. But wtf Avalanche?! I will have to be restrained from punching any fans who dare to show up in a Nords sweater. DIE!
October 17, 2009 - Kovy comes home. Please don't boo him because his agent is a moron...
October 24, 2009 - Please don't boo Higgins. He's a fucking Habs fan for fuck's sakes! (And he was traded).
October 31, 2009 - Halloween with the Leafs? How frightening... Only if Toskala's skull mask is FLAMING will that be awesome.

November 17, 2009 - Kostopoulos comes home!
November 24, 2009 - My mom's birthday and she gets the Blue Jackets? Meh. Last time it was the Sabres at least...

December 4, 2009 - HAPPY HABS 100th BIRTHDAY! This is the real centennial season by the way... And I'll barf if the Bruins piss on our parade. C'mon guys!
December 30, 31, 2009 - Habs Christmas swing to Florida, aka the only way the Lightning and Panthers can actually make money.

January 3, 2010 - Sabres come to town and Jesus H Christ it's 2010!
January 14, 2010 - The Stars make a rare appearances. BOOOOO MICKEY RIBS YOU TWAT BOOOOOOOOOO!
January 26, 27 - What's with the back-to-back Florida teams games? Another money maker.

February 2, 2010 - Canucks obviously ousted of their building/city spend the night in Luongo's basement.
February 13, 2010 - They go on break for 2 weeks (!) after sticking it to Pronger. Oh the ORANGENESS!

March 2, 2010 - Life starts again, on the road again, with the Bruins and then they swing West AGAIN.
March 7, 2010 - He'll always be MON CAPITAIN but fuck it if he scores a hat trick on us I'll cry.

April 10, 2010 - Oh symmetry~ End off the season with the Leafs, only at home. We have strong memories of season ending home games with the Leafs. Like when Kovy Revenge Elbowed Darcy Tucker, or when Stewart played in his first game and beat up Bryan McCabe and won the love of twenty-one thousand people... I wonder what we'll get this time?

In other news...
- Gui!Gui!Gui! signed his qualifying offer but it's only a 1-year deal at 800k, which frankly is a steal. Which was what he wanted since they offered him a 2-year deal at a million, but he'll stay RFA and get arbitration next time. Nice move Gui! But considering it's a 1-year deal, he'll need to really bust his ass to prove himself for that longer one. I think he'll be able to prove something. Gotta have faith in the kid!
- Shawn Belle, also signed his qualifying offer. The guy really bloomed in our system, and after being lost for so long with the Blues this makes me happy. He's also a former first-rounder, and man is he fast!
- Other tidbits from the Bulldogs we didn't hear much about but I found in the Hamilton Spectator, Chad Anderson got an AHL contract to stay a Bulldog, the Habs somehow acquired Eric Neilson from Peoria (who sounds like Flinn's replacement), and has let it kown that the following won't be back: Yanick Lehoux (our AHL Gretzky), Marc Denis (not an NHL goalie anymore), Steve Gainey, TJ Kemp (too bad, he was good for the powerplay), Mathieu Aubin, Doug Janik's gone to Detroit, Flinn, Olivier Latendresse (I think his injury might be a factor), Thomas Beauregard (same as Olivier), and of course the Stars reclaimed their properties like Dan Jancevski and Tyler Shelast since their AHL team will be set up this year.
- Oh hey the Iowa Chops got CHOPPED. Something about violating the Leagues' Consitution and By-Laws. Crazy!
- Hey, Stewart, sign yer damn contract already, you're freaking me out.

We salute you, Tom Kostopoulos

May the annoying fans of the Whalercanes treat you well, but somehow I doubt they will as they're probably already bitching about "another 3rd or 4th liner to go with the rest of them instead of someone Eric Staal can play with". They will need to learn the ways of TKO: the man of heart, the man of steel, the man who could throw punches and never win a fight, the man who memorized the Chuck Norris facts book, the man who reminded us how fragile Mike Van Ryn really is, the man who stood up and gave us a win in the Flyers series in OT before the Flyers started whining about things, the man who actually went down fighting Kurt Sauer after he brained AK46 while Laraque just asked nicely, and yes, the man I tried sending to the All-Star Game.

And while you always hover around the net despite your hands of clay, no one could ever deny your effort. You will be missed on the PK, my friend. Sure Travis Touchdown Moen is probably a defnite upgrade from you, but there's no denying the fact you were well loved here and I know we all wish you the very best. Enjoy that Southern cooking!

So long Greek Lightning. I wonder if there are still piece of Gorges' stick that he and Price sacrificed to help Gorges score a goal left around their arena...

His moment of glory, though he had many, but even Bob Cole described Tom the Bomb perfectly.

Young studs of the future!

Why yes I did wake up at 6:30am on a Saturday to travel 36km to watch the young Habs prospects play in an intra-squad game at 10am in the boonies of Brossard. Exactly what kind of fan do you think I am?! I even took video!

He's ready for prime time!

And to all the whiny, bitchy Habs fans: our future looks bright. Except in goal... God help us if you scare Price away.

Next up: The Stanley Keg! At least this one is almost next door to me...

Face breakers

Dear Darcy Tucker,
Paul Mara will break your face if you try to run Halak again.

Signed,
Bob Gainey

PS. If he is unavailable, Travis Touchdown Moen will gladly comply.

To my brave little captain

I didn't want to write anything until I knew for sure where he was going. And while I'll be more serious here than I was with Kovy's farewell, I find I'm at a loss for words. How can one describe the departure of the only captain I can truly put a face to? Yes I was around through Carbo (and Chelibot), Muller, Keane, Turgeon, Damphousse, hell I was around when Gainey was captain. And while each man were definitely something special, I think Saku Koivu was a little more.

Nothing but class and a huge part of our city. While fans rant and rave, he dutifully held his head high and expressed his appreciation for all he accomplished in our city, with our team, and how it shaped him into the very man, husband, and father that he is. I wish to return this in true Koivu form and thank the little big man from the bottom of my heart and I wish him nothing but good health and success as he tears the NHL a new one with his best friend Selanne over in Anaheim. I thank him for bringing us our first PET scanner. I thank him for all the wonderful work he has done with the children. I thank him for putting me on the edge of my seat every game and for making me jump in the air when he potted the winner in many an overtime or shootout. I thank him for the courage and inspiration he has shown, and for calming a rampaging Sergei Kostitsyn after witnessing his brother being brained onto the glass with no consequence on the player at fault. And after finally obtaining Kovy and Tanguay on his wings and finally playing on a proper line, I thank him for giving us that glimmer of hope after a season that was only half-fun to watch. It's too bad the line wasn't allowed to be together any longer than it was, what with the injuries and all. But as he moves on to greater pastures, and looks back on all the records he crushed and chased, as a fan and admirer of the great little captain I can say this: A great man and a great player passed here.

You will be missed, Saku Koivu. Long may you run.

Qui d'autre?

Truly his finest moment.

Brothers and sisters we are gathered here today to mourn the moving on of Alexei "Alex" Vyacheslavovich Kovalev, also known as AK27, as he signed a two-year deal at five-million each with the Ottawa Senators. The enigmatic Russian star has turned a page in his book after a difficult year in which he was still the highest scoring point leader of the Canadiens. His followers, who paid hommage to him on Sunday, July 5th 2009, may take solace in knowing he's only an hour away and will hopefully still be able to invent scandals via the Russian press. As stated earlier this year, Habs Nation did him a great service in voting diligently for his entry into the All Star Game where he was named captain and provided us with a glimpse of what may happen when you fail to defend against him. He also won MVP for that night. With that, fans can rest assured that they have sufficiently honoured the Maestro. Now he moves on, matching Jason Spezza in skill and laziness, bickering with captain Alfredsson, and hopefully kicking Dany Heatley's ass (if he's still around).

He is remembered for embracing our fine city and for capturing our attention with his mesmerizing ability and skill, for driving us up the wall and back down, and for backing up captain Saku Koivu when he fell to injury as stand-in captain. His work with the public, charities, children, on Les Boys, and just generally spontaneously flying to some remote town to visit fans will never be forgotten.

He leaves behind a few Russian prospects who were hoping to learn from the Artist himself, and has hopefully inspired the two Kostitsyn brothers to pick up the slack in his passing while on the second powerplay unit.

You will be missed, Kovy. Be gentle on Price and Jaro during shootouts. May god have mercy on our penalty killers.

Feel the Kovalove!

Wonder if Kovy dekes his agent after seeing this. C'mon Kovy! They're protesting for you!

Free Agency Bonanza!

Pull my finger.

Bob Gainey has one hell of a poker face. Except for the fact it's his normal face. Hell, even his son, late-signing Bulldogs forward Steve, says you won't get much out of him. But when he's serious, his actions speak volumes.

So many times I hear the same old tune played out by the many rabid vocal fans on various forums at how Bob is way too passive and patient. After yesterday's events however those in the more vocal "Fire Bob" majority have mysteriously been silenced. (Minus the quips about short players, but I've got a response to that too).

In total... 107.8 million after 24 hours. Yowza.

Our n00bs consist of Gomez via trade, newly ringed Stanly Cup winner USS Hal Gill will slowly take his hulking frame into position and hopefully not knock more pucks in his own net like Komisaurus (but at least he's a little better at skating backwards), the speedy little non-Martin St.Louis Brian Gionta gets reunited with his BFF, sucker punching Cammalleri is on his way from the Saddledome, and Jaro 2.0 Spacek who gave me heart attacks whenever he was with the Sabres and zooming in on our net can now zoom in on theirs. Bob appears to be done, but you never know. He recently resigned a few Bulldogs (Henry, Glumac) and is probably still negotiating with our other RFAs or maybe looking for replacements (maybe, but Martin might like the Lady Pleks and may be able to rekindle his form). It was an exhausting day... The information that was streaming out from his office was of Michael Bay proportions.

And who cares about size. DURABLE! A lot of the smaller guys are built like tanks. They're fast, and can skate pirouettes around taller pylons. Remember Plekanec and Kovy (well he's not small) turning Chara's gangly long legs against him? With the exception of Spacek, the three new minis are built tough and built for speed. That was Tanguay's problem: All the skill in the world, but made of glass. Bob can't afford to pay a guy to sit in a shoulder sling forever. Ever watch Desharnais play? Sure he may come up to most players waists and has to cut his sticks in half to use them, but as his vapor trail leaves them with a sunburn and his low center of gravity makes it difficult to knock him off the puck, who would you rather have: A man who gets caught up in his own feet, or a man who can skate right through those feet?

Jokes aside, I'm actually pretty ok with how the team looks (minus the mysterious captaincy issue). I remember how awesome it looked on paper this year and then everyone got hurt so no one ever played together. Media expectations are currently in the "wtf Bob likes seafood?" low category, while they sit around and praise Brian Burke for doing nothing much to better his team. (Orr? Komisaurus? Grabovski? Banking on Kulikov, Hamilton, and Tlusty I guess since they traded away Stapleton). I haven't been paying much attention either but I'm guessing they're praising the Bruins for being 100% grinders now too. (Yes, even the goalies). And maybe the Rangers for whom we have done a great honor in relieving them of some cap with Gomez, appear to be ready to ride Lundqvist into the ground again and hope Gaborik doesn't break upon moving in. (Though I bet Lundqvist is happy Gaborik won't be scoring 5 goals on him anymore, except in practice).

And while we hold our breath and pray our dear Captain Saku goes West and Kovy doesn't sign with the Pens/Caps (for Carey Price's sake and sanity), I wish to make a toast: Here's to a new season my friends. I really want to see how it goes! (And hope there's a proper training camp this year unlike that 2-day fuck up Bettman and crew set up last time). Bob has gambled with beer money, and if it doesn't pan out at least we can sit with the comfort in knowing Calamari is one fun player to watch. Is it October yet?

Happy Canada Day!

It really is such a lovely flag...

Also, happy birthday to Jarome Iginla.

Currently, the most aggravating Canadian hockey player right now is Dany Heatley. Maybe he's scared of Pat Quinn or something. Hey Heater, I got news for you: probably every coach you encounter will cut your ice time if you act the way you do.

Cheers!

And so it starts...

It's that hive-enducing time of the year again!

I hate Free-Agency. I hate how players automatically become free-agents, which allows many of their money-grubbing personal agents to go out and find someone willing to overpay a player that is worth maybe half of what they write down.

Scott Gomez is no different. But it's really not his fault Sather offered him that salary. It's not uncommon to see a player break the bank after an incredible run/season. At least it makes more sense than what Komisaurus' agent is aiming to get him for... Could Mike be the new Dion Phaneuf? He certainly doesn't warrant the same type of salary Markov makes though.

However, this trade came out of nowhere. And it has left me in two sets of minds...

On one hand we have a player who has never missed the playoffs, ever. He's relatively healthy most of the season. He's fast and gritty, but can be annoying and oh god am I going to have to become a Gomez Appologist?

Is he better than Koivu? Well, not really. Sort of the same type of player, but minus the leadership part... But the Habs have tons of leadership, so as much as I don't want to say it, they won't lose out there. Gomez is the type of player that will produce when on a line with skilled players. And if Martin can fix this team to have a proper system, there won't be much shortage of skilled players to work with. Plus Gomez' best years were when he played on the defensively solid Devils team that brought him 2 Stanley Cups. Last year was crap though. However, he was still the Rangers' best player! (Yea, I don't count Antropov because he got most of his points with the Leafs, but he was only like 4 points above Gomez). And when they fired Renney and brought in Torts, he was like a completely different player. I saw the fire return in his eyes. Just a little bit, but it was there and it was visible.

My other set of mind is on what we lost for him. Higgins, well...we don't know every year what he will do and it's mostly because of injuries. It's a shame though, since he really found his role when Gainey put him on Metro's shutdown line. His offense came back even when he was in a defensive mode. He's excellent on the PK so that role seems like a no-brainer to me anyway. While I don't really have much fear in him becoming Jon LeClair part 2, I'll be sad to see him go. Happy he's going home though. Happy he won't have to sit in a restaurant and have "YOU SUCK" yelled into his face by some idiot Habs fan (who should be slapped). Happy I won't have to cringe when he "tips it wide" time after time. But I'll miss his work on the PK, his shorthanded goals, his goals from impossible angles, and his hilarious celebrations. I just hope Torts uses him properly, unlike what I saw from Wilson at the IIHF.

My brother is probably pissed though. He just bought himself a #21 Higgins tshirt at the Habs store on Saturday. At the time while I was showing him the Markov and Kostitsyn shirts, I told him "watch he gets traded" and he grumbled "I bet he will". Voila.

And then there's Ryan McDonagh... Well, he was our top defensive prospect, so that sucks. But things haven't been going so good for him recently in his sophomore year, which sort of puts me on the fence. Does the jinx happen in school too? Maybe. He's been on a semi-decline this year, which, well he is a stay-at-home defenseman on a bad team so that could have someting to do with it or the NCAA just has nothing left to teach him. But as a top rated prospect it was disappointing to know. The players that ended up ahead of him were one other sophomore and some junior players. The problem with McD is he is just what he is: a defenseman. He's positionally smart but has problems moving the puck up. I guess you can say he's like Hammer in a way. I'm starting to think the trade was Gomez for McD and the rest were just add-ins, ya know, since Higgy is the only one in the package from the Habs capable of playing in the NHL right now. Either way, the Habs have a busload of defensemen left that most fans don't even know about who are working hard to make the team one day. And just because you're drafted in the 1st round doesn't automatically dictate how you will develope. We'll only really know how McD pans out in about 2 years.

There's Tank and Janik, but Tank is happy in Russia eating money and Janik is on yet another team's AHL depth chart again. Nothing I'm choked up about. Though I wish Tank were BACK in fucking Hamilton! But I digress...

Trades always hurt. As fans, we become attached to these players. The team itself is like a family, and we the fans are an extended part of this family, bound by a sweater and a name. We become excited for guys that are coming up. We hope for them to make the impact we've been told they might make. I'm no different. If it had been PK Subban, as I've been fearing for months, I'd be pretty upset. But there would be nothing I could do about it except rant my mind on this blog... But it makes you wonder. Will McD turn into the solid player we've seen a guy like Versteeg turn into? There's a guy Boston should be kicking themselves in trading for, well, nothing now as the player they got in return isn't even in their system. (Though I think Hnidy came through a draft pick along the way, but I don't really know).

It's kind of funny though. Habs fans and Rags fans are sounding exactly alike today concerning the trade and their GMs. Rags are pissed that they now have a big hole at center, just lost their #1 guy and the only one able to move the puck in the powerplay, and appear to be expecting Lecavalier and Heatley to be signed tomorrow while Sather trades away "more junk" or loses Callahan and Rozsival. (Think Habs fans are bad towards Saku? Rags fans call their Captain Drury "Dreary"). They're in a rage because they wanted Pacioretty or D'Agostini instead of the blue chipper blue liner. At least Habs fans can rest assured that Gomez has a limited NTC (it's a little weird and very open and the GMs didn't even follow it anyway), he can still be traded if things don't look to be going good. But coming from a guy who was openly embarrassed about his point total this year, he's just dying for that new start to happen. So let's give him his chance. He's got an office right next to the net where Tavares plays on the PP. He goes to the net when he's not passing. And when he is, let's watch him feather some passes to hopefully Kovy or Patches who keep their sticks on the ice, ready and waiting to tip a puck in.

Boing!

After all, I remember Habs fans going apeshit when Gainey brought in Kovy for pretty much nothing. Now he's our star and our best scorer and if you hate him for what he is, then you don't know Kovy...

Habs still have 27,5mil left to play with people. Let's not explode all at once ok?

There's a new prospect smell over the city!

And it doesn't smell like my gym bag, either.

What a busy weekend! Now that the awesomeness of Louis Leblanc has shifted away from the stupid to more wonderful tales of awesome, we now have the rest of our Class of 2009 all settled in.

I didn't get to watch or read anything about the kids since we were out playing ball hockey (wonder if I made hockey history by being the first goalie to score the game winner in a shootout) and hung around the Olde Orchard pub (I'm still stunned I won a cap signed by all the 2009 Islanders...OKPOSO!!!). At the moment I'm half awake, thanks McGill for heating your gym in the summer! I think I sweated out my body weight. That cheeseburger at the Pub felt like a gift from god.

The Tweetup also raised $400 for Hockey Fights Cancer in a paid raffle for some signed gear. Not bad for our small group! Good work everyone! Especially the AllHabs gang!

Now I finally got a chance to check out the kids, and let me tell you I am STOKED about these youngins Timmins and his staff found. Though he mentioned there were a few from Sweden he would have loved to get, but they were taken before he could get to them, the ones he did get have every potential to be a cog on this team in the future to come. And that's what the Draft is all about: the future. I remember the days when our farm team was rather thin on everything before Gainey came in to take charge. His 5 year plan really rebuilt the team from the foundations up, and the prospects have made an impact or are in the process of making one.

Since we've already been inundated with stuff about Louis Leblanc, I went digging around for our other presents to see what I can find.

C - Joonas Nattinen (65th, 3rd round)
He was forced to the 2nd line in the WJC Under 18 because of another player they put on the top line. However he was their most consistent centerman, and the best faceoff man in the tournament. They even gave his line a nickname, the "cage" line. He says he thinks of himself as a cross between Mikko Koivu and Jason Spezza, which is like WOOOOO and, uh, woo, too me but I think he's smarter and probably less lazy than Spezza. Anyway, any kid excited to be following the steps of Saku is OK by me! While he may not be pretty, he's 6'2" and is listed to be a "Jordan Staal" type, which leaves me with this, "when can you start?"

D - Mac Bennett (79th, 3rd round)
I'll probably be calling him Mac the Knife. He's so slick! Timmins calls him a new breed of defensemen. What is that? One who is an offensive defenseman quarterback. One the Gatineau Olympiques want on their team so badly they've been buzzing around him like crazy. The Habs won't force him to go to the Q, since that's up to him. Not a bad tradeoff though, because he wants to go to Michigan. That's where Pacioretty went, where he'll also be under the watchful eye of Red Berenson. He says he thinks of himself as a Mike Green, and that couldn't be more accurate. He zips down the ice like there's no tomorrow. Once he sees an opening, he just takes it. Watch this little featurette on him, and you'll see why I'm pretty damn happy with this pick.

RW - Alexander Avtsin (109th, 4th round)
He says he's like Ovechkin. They even list him as an Ovechkin style player. I mean check this out: in 76 games, he scored 56 goals, had 54 assists, and a 110 penalty minutes, and he's only 17 in a league that's right under the KHL. Moscow Dynamo is no stranger to having players go to the Canadiens either (Kovy, Markov). Everything I hear about him makes me think of Ovie, but with the humble more down to earth sense of Kovy and Markov. Apparently he was labeled a 1st rounder, but the fact he's Russian probably scared people away. Or maybe it's because he wasn't hyped up from the WJC crowd, since he was cut for some bizarre reason. Is there a fear of him being stuck in Russia? If he stays it won't be by his own accord. He came to the draft, he knows of the team and how traditionally rich it is, he wants to come here. And when he says this, "I play a physical style with lots of speed and a hard shot but I need to work on my game away from the puck. I will work hard to do it"--I'm a happy fan to hear someone eager to work on his weaknesses to better his game. He's too young for the AHL, but Timmins said he'd put him in Hamilton tomorrow if he could.

C - Gabriel Dumont (139th, 5th round)
Here's a guy who knows what he has to do to get to where he wants to go. He knows he has to improve his skating, but despite that still managed 28 goals and a team-high of 4 shorties and 3 game winners. He knows he'll be a 3rd or 4th liner, used to shutdown and grind. Heart, soul, passion, skill, he may be small by some standards but plays every part. Timmin's praise for Dumont was touching, as the kid went through the Memorial Cup playoffs with one shoulder. The Voltigeurs won the Q and were the best team in the League, but that battle hurt them in the march through the Memorial Cup (the entire team was injured but still stood up to play). He's a Max Talbot in pretty much every sense, and after the Pens win you know how all the fans want one of those guys...

C - Dustin Walsh (169th, 6th round)
If Dustin Walsh had more exposure he probably wouldn't be sitting there in the 6th round... This guy tore up the OJHL, with a team high 63 points in 44 games (32 goals). A bit foreshadowing maybe? He plays for the Kingston Voyageurs... The Vees have a very lovely uniform, if I do say so myself.


There's also some video on him. He wears #8. I still can't get over how freaky coincidental his uniform is. I love how he flies though.

C - Micheal Cichy (199th, 7th round)
I don't know much about him, but there's another Danny Kristo Connection! Apparently Cichy is Kristo's roommate. (EDIT!) Found some info on Cichy. He earned MVP honors in the Ice's march to a 2009 Clark Cup championship with a league-best 25 points (6G, 14A) to cap off a 76-point season (34G, 42A). How does Timmins find these guys?! Some video here of Cichy talking playoffs, an old one of him with Tri-City scoring an empty netter with a hilarious commentator. He was also somewhere in here...

G - Petteri Simila (211th, 7th round)
The Habs traded with the Pens for this last pick in the draft (traded next year's 6th round pick) just so they could cap it off in their court. The Pens agreed, which was very kind of them. So who is Simila? He's another one of those giant goalies Timmins is finding ever since he picked up Price. While he's between Price and Missiaen in size, he hails from the same team and goalie coach that produced Pekka Rinne.

You're number 1 in my heart

Duck and cover!

Despite being afraid he'd get taken away by the Wild, who were seriously considering it but opted for a defenseman from their own backyard, Habs picked a good West Island kid just like they hoped: Louis Leblanc. He's already got his own "Lou~is!Lou~is!" cheer too! Probably walked out a lot happier than noted Habs fan/supposed to be Sens' pick Nazem Kadri...who got picked by our mortal enemy, the Leafs. Poor kid!

Nelson Muntz moment of the evening
When the Kings snatched away Brayden Schenn, Brian Burke plotzed. No brothers for you!

Give the kid a hug
Nazem Kadri was obviously happy to be picked but looked noticeably hurt he was sporting a blue leaf.

Mumbling mumbler award
Tavares. Speak up, man!

Questionable humans
The Capitals squad appared to refuse to touch the food and drinks provided on their table, leaving us to wonder if they were a) robots, or b) camels.

Noticeably bored
Bruins and Blackhawks appeared to be so bored they were trading desserts.

Fuck you, Bettman
The PHOENIX Coyotes. Yea, we heard you, douchenozzle. Three cheers to the crowd for starting a HA!MIL!TON! chant.

WTF FLYERS?!
Because Danny Briere was feeling lonely in sucking up your cap space, you deal away the only player I like on your team (Luca Sbisa) and Lupul plus some picks for...PRONGER?! I guess there's the defenseman who will be waiting in the weeds to pounce on Ovie, eh Don Cherry? Watch your elbows, kids. Guess the Flyers felt they weren't violent enough.

This was the type of deal I was hoping Bob NOT to make for Vince, as in replace Sbisa with Subban and Pronger for Vince. Thank you, Bob for not doing it.

Crowd thinking Bob was trading
He was actually asking around to switch up picks because he wanted to make sure no one would steal Leblanc. They got particularily interested when he was talking with the Panthers. Hahaha, you guys are the funneh.

Just drafted, already being run out of town
What. The. Fuck. Yea, the young man believes in a good education and has opted to go to Harvard to maybe study economics while continuing his hockey studies. He's only 18, he's only 6'1", he's still growing and/or filling in the frame. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM HIM?! Unhappy they were picking Americans for years, now they finally find a local still available that they wanted and pick him, and the fans complain. Waiting around for the "big splash" that was promised, when in fact nothing happened and frankly no one promised anything other than the rumor mill at various media outlets, and fans huff and puff. On my way to the metro, a group of guys were visibly and vocally grumpy, slurring Leblanc's name, and whining about the lack of a trade for Lecavalier, saying it'll probably happen tomorrow, and how Leblanc will play 5 games and then disappear... Lucky I'm good at restraining myself from jumping people who piss me off.

The merry go round and round

9 out of 10 times, that's usually how it is

I don't know what people are crowing about. When a "company" decides to take a new direction, there is usually movement with the staff. Whether done by phone or to one's face is irrelevant. If you work retail, your boss will usually phone you and tell you not to bother coming in the next day. (To which you usually reply to yourself, "Great! I can sleep in!").

And so the axe falleth on Jarvis, Lever, and Ron "the Dog" Wilson. It doesn't surprise me, really. Jacques Martin reviewed the staff and made his choices and then it was up to Bob to break the news to them regardless of his personal feelings. Yea it may sound cold, but it's nothing personal. Business is business, and Martin is looking for who he will want next to him to deal with his team. And coming from a guy who has very little ties with any of the staff members, he's working from a clean slate.

This isn't a knock on their abilities at all. Everyone knows they're great coaches. But a decision comes to try something new. With a new head coach, usually comes new ideas and a new system. Usually they want to bring in their own guys. The fact they kept the assistants for him to see if he could use them is classy enough. In the end, they look to change how goaltending is handled, probably looking for an actual defenseman for a defensive coach instead of just another defensive forward, and with the new coach's system, he'll probably want this sent to the "kids" in Hamilton so that everyone will be relatively on the same page. Of course it's disappointing, especially for Lever and Wilson who have done well with the Bulldogs. Why, Wilson has been around even longer than Lever, really... But to run something properly one can't allow their personal feelings to get in the way.

And, like his players, Martin appears to have taken a shine to Captain Kirk, as he's the only one staying. (Sergio Momesso, who was promoted to assistant from player development, is still in limbo pending the new Bulldogs' coach). This provides Martin with someone close to players he doesn't know yet. Muller is the bridge that binds them.

Wow, three more days until the first overall is called. Time flies when you're bored out of your mind!

A note of thanks and a grand welcome

I can summarize my feelings when the news broke in a simple sentence: thank fucking god it wasn't Quebecor!

And so I would like to take this opportunity to express my thanks to Mr. Gillett for all he has done for my city and the Canadiens. You were truly a great owner and a wonderful person. And I hope you will continue to visit the team from your usual seat just by the glass in the corner of the rink, where your cherub face and gracious smile always was a pleasant sight to be hold as the team scored a few goals. I thank you for taking hold of this team and continuing it's long tradition when the locals around town turned their backs and shunned it. I thank you for leading us out of those dark days where it felt like there was little to no hope of seeing a Stanley Cup return to town. We may not have won anything that grand during your tenure, but the path has been cut and I have faith your efforts have helped this team turn back into a strong contender. I thank you for the wonderful practice facility where the players can basically move into and workout all day or unwind in a top-of-the-line gym or relax in their common rec room and challenge one another to Mario Kart or Guitar Hero. I thank you for updating the scoreboard into that lovely giant behemoth of crystal clear clarity. I thank you for bringing the ice rinks/summer play areas to our less fortunate city zones. I thank you for that lovely Centennial Plaza, where I hope to see my brick one day. (I have two, my father got the family one, and I received one with my playoff tickets which I used as a forum to express my thanks for all the memories I had this year to a few players that I truly love, though I love them all but couldn't fit all their numbers on the brick). And for being there when your players needed you, helping them through troubled times and injury. You were a great owner Mr. Gillett. Thank you for selecting the long-standing Molson family, a royal family of sorts in this city and one who has been with the club through many generations. I have faith they will continue your good deeds with their own, and continue along that path you created.

With that, I welcome our new overlords, the Brothers Molson. Here is your championship hat!

Tweetups, drafts, and strategic warfare

Next week, hundreds of wide-eyed hopefuls will await in the Phone Booth for their name to come up which will set them on a team that will nuture them towards a hopefully long hockey career. This time, hockey fans from all around are welcome to join in an official Tweetup at the Ye Olde Orchard Pub just a stone's throw from where all the action is. But also that morning, fans are getting together for something different! I've joined in to play goalie for one of the sides in a game of ball hockey at McGill University's Fieldhouse. So if you're in town for the Draft, head on over and join in or cheer us on!

On to my other passion. Channel 4 over in the UK made a historical drama about the Battle of Hastings, 1066, and they created a lovely little strategy flash game to go with it. I'm hooked. At work, I stomped through two campaigns, starting off as the northern invading Vikings, and then continuing as the Saxons rushing to save what's left of their land. I'm up to the rank of Captain now. It's just perfect for killing time at work. But it's too bad it wasn't released sooner... When I was at Gameloft, we were working on something similar to this. A "King Arthur" type game based off the Might and Magic franchise, that eventually went all silly and crazy and cool and they eventually canned it because more often than not, companies fear originality. Anyway, I'll play through this one instead of subjecting my wrists to more carpal tunnel.

Summer will now interfere with no call

Hey! Just like the Red Wings!

How much you wanna bet if the Habs played that kind of interference defense they'd be in the box the whole time and we'd have to listen to Houde & Brunet tell us how indisciplined they are? I know because I've seen it a few time when Breezer or Hammer step up to challenge a guy only to get called for some phantom interference. As my brother said "because we're not marketable, because you don't need to sell the game to Canadians". They need a team like the Wings to market to the feel-good story of the year for the poor burnt out husk of Detroit. (I dunno, it always looked that way too me. Was a creepy quiet place last time I drove through there). Gotta redo those faceoffs kids 'cause Detroit didn't get the puck! How many times can one crosscheck a Penguin without getting called but hey Malkin don't you dare tap that guy from behind so that he falls over like the world just crashed on his back. It's all water under the bridge now. In the end, and NOT according to Red Fisher or Don Cherry or those stand-ins on CJAD that have very annoying tones in their voices, the better team won. That's right, the Penguins finally got their Cup after stinking up the joint enough to round up a dozen first-rounders of the high draft pick choice. I was hoping they would do it, mostly because Detroit infuriates me. And for Ho Ho Hossa.

That's right, I just don't like Detroit.

And while people cried that the superstars did mostly nothing the whole series, it's not easy to work with a big target on your back. (And I disagree, as they were working very hard but getting shutdown, their presence however was always felt). That's why you got the other Superstar (and the Staal-Clone). Bet Talbot will work on a new car ad this summer.

But in the end, now we can say: Satan's name is on the Cup.

Home is where the heart is...

...and where the bills must be paid.

I'm frightened to look at my account to see if said bills were automatically paid while I was playing with baby horseshoe crabs on a beach and hiding them from evil little children. But I'm home now, resting from a long day of driving and ready to start cleaning. Work tomorrow. Stanley Cup game Friday. The weekend better be sunny-ish.

So Heater wants out of Ottawa. This is why I frown upon the extremely long-term deals of high monetary kind. If a young stud signs for a reasonable price at 3-5 years, it doesn't hurt as much and to trade him isn't a heavy burden on both teams involved. But when a player's salary might possibly strap a team with 15% of it's cap space dedicated to one guy (especially when that cap space is going down), you got the home team scrambling and the buying team uneasy. Of course, it's Heater so I don't really care. I hear he's aiming West. Is beer and pizza involved in helping him move?

I think I'm in love with the judge that's dealing with the circus over the Coyotes. How can you not love a man who deadpans how wrong Bettman and the League in general are? For that matter, has anyone read this so-called Constitution of the NHL? Hail Kommissar? And was I the only one who cracked up laughing when Bettman appeared in court while the Pens/Wings were playing their lives out? "This warrants my personal attention" like someone was adopting his only child after a bitter divorce. Oh right. Well there was another Fuck You Winnipeg, eh guys?

I understand Bettman though. You can't get the guy to admit he was wrong. My father is like that. He'll find every possible angle and every possible excuse to refute against any accusation of being wrong regardless of how apparent it is.

So Alexei Emelin decided to stay again in Russia. Well...that sucks. Not much you can do about it, as disappointing as it is and as disappointed Trevor Timmins must be after hearing from the kid how annoyed he was being an NHL-style player in the KHL where he would be in the box more than he'd like. But the mysetrious circumstances leads one to wonder... Was it Emelin? His agent seemed rather surprised by him signing again. Or did he get the old "my dad signed me this contract" like Tank? Either way, it's an unfortunate blow but the idiots blamming Gainey are well, idiots. Blame the KHL and the rules of the NHL regarding entry contracts. Either way, it gives more room for Subban, Weber, Carle, Belle, Mcdonagh, Fisher, and the whole squadron of Dmen we have, one more extra shot to move in. (Though I don't think Weber needs to worry). With the draft coming in, I can't see them going for another Russian unless he's a player in the various North American junior leagues, but those that are will probably be snatched up before they get a chance to do so if they haven't already been drafted.

Time to do some work. Today we find out if GG is selling and if Quebecor will ruin our lives forever. Oh and Flyers, good luck with that basketcase Emery.

Front seat view of Bettman's Empire

It takes the same amount of time to drive to Myrtle Beach as it does to drive to Sault-Ste-Marie.

I have one more day to fry upon the sandy shores of Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, while the Pens and Wings fight to the not-death for Lord Stanley's glorious silverware. And as I try to reconnect myself with the Northern portion of this hemisphere for some relevant news, I've learned a few things about The South.

For one, apparently there's a lot of Pittsburgh Steelers merchandise around and this is confusing me.

But as I stand just South of 'Canes Country (even though I'm pretty sure South Carolina has way more hurricane activity than North Carolina), I can count on one hand the things I've seen related to hockey. And TV isn't one of them.
- A kid in the lobby was wearing a Crosby shirt.
- A guy seated in the chinese restaurent was wearing a Red Wings jersey (and I think it was his own name too).
- A car had a lame attempt to decal itself with a painted Go Redwings (sic) on it.
- A guy working at some Surf and Board shop in a fancy new marketplace was apparently a Caps fan.
- A car parked at the Cracker Barrel had one of those Hurricanes fan plates on for the front of the car.

When the finals kicked off, Versus was showing rodeo. Television sets were tuned to football or baseball, hell I even saw soccer, while the Pens made a series out of the series. By the time I even find NBC's awful feed the games are already over. (Nevermind it took me the entire week to find a decent radio station). The "sports" section at the local Barnes and Noble doesn't even have The Game let alone anything that related to the legends or history of hockey but there sure was plenty of baseball. I have no idea what the newspapers are like. They're mostly about Obama's day anyway, which is a step up from last year being mostly about Britney Spears I guess.

Bravo, Gary Bettman. You're plan to expose and convert the Southern sun-fried bible-thumping masses was apparently a smash hit!

I'm kind of sad to be leaving on Sunday, as I hear the weather is beyond shit back home and the seperatists are starting up yet again with more stupidity, and Mario Tremblay is rumoured to be coming to the Habs as assistant-coach-gag-me-with-a-spork... but school's out finally around here and the kids have all gone insane. Kids apparently have a curfew too, so they try to go insane just before it's time for bed. So in a way, I'm thankful to be heading home soon before some idiot launches a firecracker from the beach into my room. Also this humidity is ruining my hair.

Jacques' Town

I am officially beach fried.

But while I was frying, Bob was working. I keep the faith, Bob. You know what you're doing, I just get to watch the outcome. So while I headed south to fry on a beach, Jacques Martin headed north to fry in Montreal's media spotlight. And Rollie the Goalie was fried.

All I gotta say is, Jacques? Better start fixing that record against the Leafs or you'll be fried...

Fuck you, Leafs of Maple.

Unsecured networks connect me to reality

This is the view from my room. Apparently my hotel has free wireless internet in a cafe, but I was sitting in my room thinking "well, it's wireless and free, so maybe I can sneak on from my room". Sure enough, it doesn't work... but the internet from the hotel next door is wide open thank you very much.

So here I am, south of Hurricanes country, watching the Pens fail and I'm guessing Crosby's not going to like being in that picture again. Can they really come back from a 2-0 deficit against the Hockey Robots? Will this season really just repeat itself and feel like it never really happened? (Isn't that a good thing? To some, probably). Will Fleury stop flailing and play his stinking angles right? Do I really care? Not really. The beach looks lovely and I'm going to set myself up permanently upon it for a week.

One thing I've learned in South Carolina: road signs mean absolutely nothing.