My 3rd round playoff preview is bored waiting for you...

So while the Caps take it to 7 (like I predicted), I'm bored. BORED! Doesn't help the hockey has been snoozerific either... And the strangeness of the schedules basically give me like an hour before the first game of the third round to write my preview. I blame NBC.

Anyway, the Berg is searching for staff members and one person we believe will join him as an assistant GM is Rick Dudley. Dudley, however, is currently in charge of player personnel with the Leafs. Frankly, it's a bit of a make-work title, and he has an out-clause in his contract that says he can depart 30 days after the last game. Brian Burke is a bit twitchy. He's worried Dudley will share state secrets of the magical Leafs drafting prowess with the Habs and wants him to wait til after the draft. Frankly I don't care when he shows up. Timmins does the draft. So go on back to your tinfoil hat, Burke. Because it really makes little difference if the Habs take Galchenyuk or Forsberg or whoever. It's how those kids grow within their future organizations that matter.

Hey, time for a picture of Toaster!

The New Jersey Devils introduce...

...their new coach, John MacLean.

Cherry pick THAT, Parise.

Yippee ki-yay mother fucker.

Where the Minnesota Wild Things Are

I hate back-to-back games. Give US a fucking break with your crammed AHL schedule. Actually the AHL schedule looks to be the more balanced this year. How freaky is that?

But I have an insight on how things will go down today:
- RDS holds a Latendresse tribute about 2 hours long, right after they interview him during his morning skate. A parade is scheduled for later but no one knows when.
- Bob trades Lapierre for Cal Clutterbuck by 3pm. The La-La Twins reunite and live happily ever after. The pure woolian of us all forget about complaining about the Bell Center music being 90% English and start firing off emails to the Team990 how this team doesn't represent "us" anymore. I start saving money to move a team to Quebec City so these fuckers can shut the fuck up, but I think 10$ and free parking will do just fine, right Tampa Bay?
- Coach makes the Metro-Moen-Clutterbuck line. This would be around 4pm once we're sure the fax has reached the NHL head office and are sure it didn't go into the paper shredder.
- Around 5pm, Le Baron goes on a tirade about "Cal WhatTheFuck?!" and Tom Kostopoulos laughs.
- By 6pm, it's -30 outside and the Minnesota Wild all slip on some strategically placed black ice and have to forfeit the game.
- It's 7pm and the Habs are forced to play the game anyway. They still have problems scoring on an empty net and somehow Bergeron kicks a puck in his own net accidentally.
- By 9:30pm, Habs lose 1-0 and callers still blame Price for the loss.
- Around 9:45pm Bergeron is mysteriously found under the zamboni. Carey Price denies involvment.
- At 9:50 RDS interviews Gui from his hospital room about the victory. L'Antichambre have his statue unveiled in the Plaza. Lapierre feels forgotten, somehow.
- It's 10pm and everyone decides they're too cold to care, go home, sleep grumpy.

Hockey shakes...

Even Batman is watching Habs camp.

The anticipation is killing me for tomorrow!!!

And then I find out it's not going to be on TV. Well, not any channel I have. Seriously, RDS? A 20 years celebration? THE FUCKING HABS ARE PLAYING THEIR FIRST HOME PRESEASON GAME! What? That quiet you guys heard over MSG is what the washroom might sounds like at the Bell Center tomorrow. The Preseason crowd, especially an excited dying to see the new team crowd, is just as loud as a Game 7 crowd. I kid you not. We even sing the anthem!

And then mom calls me to tell me she's actually going to take me out to dinner tomorrow anyway. So make me proud my Habs. Gimme a win on my birthday while I eat delicious sushi.

And since I like to waste money I think I might find someone to customize my blank ASG East jersey. Or weasle my brother to do it for me. Hey, I paid for his hockey all last year! I'm the only big sister he's got! Ah whatever.

What did they say about mixing hockey and politics?
So, apparently the feud between Sergei and Grabs was resolved via political intervention. The president of Belarus requested it! How awesome is that? OK, well, I'd rather see an intense Sergei knocked Grabs on his ass, but still... Imagine if the guys had any political savy to request something from the president in return? Like say, "Put more money into education and we'll be friends...for the good of the people!" Or in his case, stop fixing the votes in his favour AHEM but I'd rather not have my dear Sergei go missing over a political opinion. I don't know what a "personal request" from Lukashenko means... Poor Sergei.

Imagine if Obama stepped in and asked Komisarek and Lucic to stop their feud? With Canada and the States being such important allies and all. I dunno why he'd care but say he walked in on a game and the two were destroying each other. Say maybe it scared him. Knowing that Komisarek is a supporter, and to curb the violence on tv, he'd ask him them to make nice. Then imagine Lucic laughing his ass off, only to turn around, grab Komi's sweater and pull it over his head. And as he continues to pound away at the big man, Lucic asks Obama, "I'll stop if you fix that certain lumber issue you guys fucked up for us Canucks." Meanwhile Komi wails, "Mr. President, I need health care!!!"

Harper knows better than to get in between a hockey feud. "If the Canadians on the Leafs and Habs want to punch each other to oblivion, then they have my blessing. Think of the entertainment revenue! Go Flames!"

A bold new look
OK, Price's new mask is ALL KINDS OF AWESOME. Yes, so awesome that it needs caps. The Gumper! And skeleton zombie Dryden (who was supposed to be Plant, haha oops). And a string of numbers representing the defensemen these players had fighting for them stream down to the 100 logo on the chin. Very cool, very appropriate (to have the Dmen numbers there). And he's crowned with the Montreal skyline. Though my only problem with it is the CH on the top is kind of small. That's what I love about his cowboy/country singer ones. The CH on top is GIANT.

Got nothing to talk about? Stir up some shit!

Oh the media. When the going gets quiet, the fingers get tapping! But hey, it's the internets. I can blog nonsense too! Apparently Bertrand Raymond has crawled back out from under his vacation rock with a new piece of blog bile aimed to stir up the masses againsts Gainey. Of course! He's an evil anglo! With Tanguay waiting to hear from the Lightning after his physical about whether or not they'll pay him about two-million to get creamed by Pronger, the rest of the wouldn't haves and couldn't haves begin to surface.

Why naturally an old member of the organization/now player agent whispered in Bob's ear during the Draft if he would do his client a favour and give him a job on the team. Said client being a good old Quebecois, and one who'd die to wear the Sainte Flannelle, why he thought Bob would be all over that. Unfortunately his client was Denis Gauthier, the one who's 5th suspension on the year was handed down upon him for knocking Josh Gorges' brains into the stratosphere. Wonder why Bob told him to go call other clubs? I mean the guy only has a history of being a headhunting moron. Any other team would sign him at the drop of a hat! Right? Sure.

And then there's Beauchemin claiming he'd have gladly accepted the money Bob gave to Spacek (never mind his very recent torn ACL). I'd hate to burst your bubble, Frank, but Spacek scared me more than you did. And if the injury to Markov wasn't enough of an example of how easy this team is derailed without him, Bob did the right thing to pick up the Spaceman to help alleviate the weight on Markov's shoulders. Plus he's been quiet, so I like him already. There must be a good reason why the Sabres pinned the C on him as part of their rotating captaincy, and all (players and fans alike) pouted when he left them. I do not like whiny players like you, Frank. And Paul Mara had more hits than you, and he punches Darcy Tucker a lot. It's a win win situation.

And now back to Tanguay. Pending his physical, he may or may not be a Bolt. Ironic, considering his season was placed on the IR because of the Russian Truck Artyukhin squashing him into the glass like little bug under foot (as said with a Russian accent). Doubly ironic that the Lightning have traded said Russian Truck. Tanguay was a fine player when healthy, but I ain't going to cry over him going elsewhere. He's free to try the love connectiong between Vince and Marty, assuming Vince remains on the line with Marty considering he was booted off it last season and replaced by Stamkos the Boy Wonder. And for a guy who hits once in a blue moon, he may not be the favourite of Tocchet's attempt at creating the Flyers South. I thought Bob's press message was clear in that he was looking for more durable players?

So keep playing the same old tune, Bertrand. Playing for the Canadiens isn't a god given birth right, it's earned. It isn't the place where ever Jean-Guy can weasle his nephew in just because he's local. And how about you start praising the hard working guys who earned their stripes, like Lapierre. Bob's job is to ice a team he and the commitee thinks will win games. They're not working to please you. Wonder how much he'll plotz when/if Boivin gets ousted and replaced by Geoff "T-Shirt Cannon" Molson? For a guy who praised the horrible trade of Chris Chelios, frankly your opinion is moot.

Sergei says? NEGATIVE BUZZER!

Random Friday: Someone just made my day

That dog from Duck Hunt was always my nemesis, but today, he's my hero...

(And that's MVParkov bringing out his inner video game-ness.).

Slow news day...

So how is your life? Bored yet? We're nearing the middle of summer and I'm snowstalgic thank you very much. I'm so sick of rain. Rain in the morning. Rain in the afternoon. Rain in the evening. If I wanted rain, I would have transferred to EA Vancouver. Rain on weekends. Sunny on weekdays, like today, when I'm stuck at work staring at the ceiling or doodling random sprites to keep myself from going absolutely insane. There's only so much offseason a Montrealer can handle...

So what's in the news?
- The Leafs and the Flames traded nothing for nothing. I've chalked this up to a whatever on the Richter scale. It's so whatever that it's not even worth mentioning the names of the players involved.
- The Islanders haven't signed another goaltender but Josh Harding is twiddling his thumbs as an RFA.
- The Devils are copying our Centennial Plaza only instead of being awesome and historic in nature, it's dorky to the power of 10 and doubly lame and doesn't even have cool player statues... They call it the Championship Plaza, and it's grand centerpiece is the Rock of Prudential which is supposed to be a recreation of the Rock of Gibraltar as a symbol of strength. I mean, yea it's cool that Prudential has been around for 124 years, IN NEW JERSEY, but it's a bloody financial company! That would be like Molson deciding to make a statue of a giant beer bottle in the center of our plaza, being a 200-year Montreal family success story... Add in a generic hockey player statue that isn't even Brodeur, stone markers honoring the 3 Cups, 4 Conference Championships, and 8 Division Titles, a 1001 "Rangers Suck" fan bricks, and it leaves me wondering just what the hey are they trying to do here... They can barely fill an arena with fans let alone a plaza. At least we waited 100 years to make ours matter...
- Apparently a new bidder for the Coyotes wants to bring them to Saskatchewan for a few games and hope the locals will actually take a shine to the team. To which I say HA! because the locals are just going to do like the locals in Phoenix do: use the team as a legitimate excuse for the Habs to come to their town. You know you can solve this whole problem by just moving the damn team back to Winnipeg...
- You might have noticed I put up the link to Carey Price's official page. While he has yet to do anything with it, I've noticed the scary stalker fans are starting to post comments... Maybe the website wasn't such a good idea eh kiddo?

I'd like to leave off with this:

Does this picture not send a shiver down your spine? By the holy ghost of Howie Morenz... Who needs Forum Ghosts when the reincarnations can actually join in and play!

Random Friday: Bob must be a fan...

A James Bond fan that is!

I've mentioned many times how I found Guy Carbonneau to be the French Canadian twin of James Bond Daniel Craig. (No, not when he was Mullet Guy). It just dawned upon me that new Bulldogs HC/Habs-coach-in-training (waiting) Guy Boucher reminded me of another James Bond character...

Bond villain, Le Chiffre!

Snappy suits, and a bizarre facial scar shapped like a V, here he is plotting evils on the powerplay. They're about the same height too. (According to Fleming).

Oh irony shot!