Habs 4, Bolts 3 (unnecessary SO): You kill me

Habs won. I threw things at my TV and cursed Therrien because he refuses to extract his head from his asshole (and Price was run on that 2nd goal but for some reason random goalie interference is OK when the puck goes in the net now).

I'm so angry at the decisions he has made recently--namely involving PK Subban NOT playing key important moments of the game like an important penalty kill or an OT powerplay, or how DD gets carte blanche while Lars Eller ON THE FOURTH LINE has points and work ethic coming out of his wazoo--that I can't properly recap this game.

So I'm posting this video of goats yelling like humans (brought to my attention by Wrap Around Curl). This is my recap.

Yup.

Habs 2, Sens 1: Little help from not-friends

Sens coach Paul MacLean is not pleased.

The NHL is a joke league with bush league officiating.

From calling "boarding" on Gorges as he went for an icing and got there first and got hit, to the "diving" penalty call on Cube when he had the fucking stick between his legs, to the "goalie interference" call on Silfverberg that recalled what should have been the game tying goal... Hell even Price was shocked that was called back.

You're one year too late in repaying us for all the shit you pulled last season, refs.

Brian Pochmara has outdone Chris Lee
- CBC now has Karlsson Cam! Oh and there was a game going on somewhere behind that.
- Guimauve had the "flu".
- Meanwhile, Pacioretty had his appendix removed through his navel and the only thing that pissed him off about it was that it gave him an outie. (Yes, the less invasive surgery takes less time to heal from. It's not like they sliced him open and stapled him back together).
- Welcome back assist too!
- Erik Cole backhander! PK has two assists now.
- If the Habs would stop shooting for the moon, it wouldn't have been this close...
- And Bourque borked the post.
- Chris Neil needs a punch to the face. Or a puck. I don't really care.
- And in the department of bad reffing, there's bad offsides! The Sens had three non-call GROSSLY offside attacks, while the Habs were called back on one that was onside. And Pleky was going to kill that linesman.
- Also probably the same douche who keeps throwing him out of the faceoff circle.
- I daresay we may finally have a coach who can talk to the refs about their shit officiating.
- Ref even gets in the way of breakaways.
- I name thee Galchenkov.
- Watching Prust kill the clock near the end there was great.
- Could have used a few curlers to get that empty net. Damn you friction!
- PJ Stock: "The small guys are able to make themselves small". WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!
- Kevin Weekes was attempting to explain things to PJ Stock. Next time I suggest bringing crayons. Maybe puppets. Lego would work too.
- Can't believe CBC gave Karlsson one of the 3 stars. He had no points and was a -1. Maybe it was for the 5 montages they made for him.
- Glad I didn't watch this on Sportsnet with the condescending Denis Potvin whine. It's not a fine vintage.

Habs have an insane record on Super Bowl weekend. Right now, looks like the Harbaugh with the Habs gloves on is winning.

(Note: He won).

Habs 2, Panthers 3: Go away 2011

Well gee if you guys bothered not giving up the empty netter, Erik Cole's 16th goal of the year would have brought you to overtime. Instead I missed the goal because once I saw that piss poor attempt to save the empty netter, I flipped to Team Canada's game.

Oh and Krys Barch got ejected for racial slurs towards PK. Bravo, 2011. You officially end as shitty as you were.

So. Happy New Year I guess. And it's either the end of the world or the start of something better. Either way, 2011 can fuck off and die. In a fire.

Eller prays for this team to suck less in 2012.

Habs 3, Pens 4 (OT): Do you know what bullshit is?

Bullshit is being up 2-1, then 3-1 and looking like you don't give a damn anymore. That you're totally cool getting outshot 16 to 5 in the second period. That up 3-2 is just fine and dandy for you because you're totally cool watching your goalie, who really looks like he cares, stand on his head for you while you coast around.

Bullshit is Cammalleri refusing to take the body or even skate a bit harder for the puck along the boards then completely overskating it by 50 feet and allowing the other team to score.

Bullshit is that fucking powerplay that I will rename Einstein's Insanity Play. And on the EIP, you get OUTSHOT.

Bullshit is dickhead fans still making jokes like it's real funny Pacioretty was millimeters away from being paralyzed, or dead. On this play, it could go either way. By Shanaban's reasoning (and I'm basing it from HIS examples for a completely subjective view here) from all previous videos, Letang suddenly leans into his shot, Pacioretty isn't targeting his head. Has no intention to do so. But because Letang leans over, Pacioretty's shoulder catches him and breaks Letang's nose. There was no penalty on the play because it wasn't a headshot, it wasn't an elbow, it wasn't even interference. It was basically a smaller man suddenly finding himself walking into a bigger man. Of course all Pens fans think they know hockey and are screaming bloody murder. The fans of the very team with Matt Cooke on the roster. Then again, Pacioretty wears the CH and it was against a Sainted Penguin, so what do you think will happen in this bullshit league...

Those same dickhead fans thought all those refused goals were actually good. Because you know you can score goals with your hands or can kick the goalie who made the save into the net. Totally legal.

But the biggest bullshit? Carey Price has the puck frozen FOREVER and the ref who is in the other corner behind him, clearly with zero view of the puck, allows play to continue. Results? Neal slaps it out of Price's glove, Letang (who did not go to a quiet room and was playing with a bloody jersey even though I'm sure these guys have spares) puts it in the net with zero opposition (obviously because everyone else clearly found the play stopped). And as Price is trying to get a reason for this, the refs run off the ice and disappear under whatever rock they came from.

When Don Cherry and other Bruins agrees with the Habs...

Marc Denis blabbles about him not having the puck while the video is running, showing Price holding the puck the ENTIRE TIME he's talking about it.

Bullshit. Facing 42 shots, making 38 saves, many highlight reel types...and the ref doesn't even have the decency to say "sorry man, I must have fallen asleep even though the whistle was slowly heading for my mouth but I do love that fat cheque Mario promised me".

Another game blown, this time with a who-gives-a-fuck-anymore loser point.

Don't piss off the goalies!

What's more frustrating? Someone should put this on the whiteboard in the Habs dressing room:
Cammalleri 0 goals, 0 assists, -2, 2 shots, 16:02 (3:45 on powerplay)
Plekanec 0 goals, 0 assists, -3, 1 shot, 19:34 (3:29 on powerplay, 3:24 shorthanded)
Gionta 0 goals, 0 assists, -4, 0 shots, 15:39 (3:02 on powerplay, 39s shorthanded)

Travis Moen's goal is listed as unassisted but technically Eller and AK46 should have gotten something, especially Eller.  I told you Eller just needs his AK46 back...

Game 6 - Habs 2, Bruins 1: Live to fight another day

Here we go!

They gave it a try and they won. Sure it wasn't without controversy. Habs were up 1-0 in the first with 2 goals if you know what I mean. Surprisingly enough it wasn't Chris Lee causing the problems. Much.

And now we barely have time to get our hearts back to normal speed. Breathing was overrated anyway.

A great, big, bushy beard: If Paul Mara doesn't own a plaid shirt jacket and a blue ox, someone needs to fix this.

The power of Kent Nagano compels you: Undefeated in playoff games. And the MSO is just so much better to hear than some warbly opera understudy.

Head and shoulders, knees and toes: Eller's arm looked to be ripped out of its socket. Like a ragdoll.

Then he came back to play.
Lars Eller is the Martin Riggs of Denmark.

It's not the glass, stupid: Dirty hit on Lucic from behind on Spacek game him 5 and a game. Spacek came back but left a bloody mess on the ice by the time keeper's box.

Speaking of headshots: It is physically impossible for Plekanec to hit Chara in the head so stop your bellyaching.

Accidentally on purpose: Cammy called it a safe play so as to not get the icing but ended up getting the Bruins a Too Many Men penalty. Most believe it was an "I'm sorry" note from the ref for blowing Gionta's first goal.

Know thy enemy: Price nodded and winked at Thomas as the two crossed paths for the 2nd intermission.

Cloud VS Claude: Bitching about penalties, again. No one forced Bergeron to throw the puck over the glass or trip Carey...

GORGES! PATCHES!
And...Pouliot's stuffing his face...

The thunder rolls: Hockey Gods were rumbling as the 3rd period started, lightning and all!

Lucky number 7: You worked hard to get here. You showed us your resilience. You even surprised us with your toughness. And more importantly you didn't roll over and take the easy way out. You brought it to Game 7. It either starts here or ends. The outcome depends on how badly you really want it, or how capable you are to take it. I said the Hockey Gods would howl and rumble for you and they did. I said your destiny depends on your effort and you definitely tried to win Game 6. You succeeded the first step, now finish it. And well see you in Washington, proud.

Cowboy UP!

Triple low-7

GYFH!

Habs 3, Thrashers 1 Bullshit Goal: Rrrrrrrroll up the rim to win

Finally.

Apparently Benoit Pouliot won a doughnut when he rolled up the rim of his Tim Horton's coffee. The players put it on the board for the guy who broke the drought. The puck walks through Pavelec and sits in the blue paint. Scramble. Cammy actually HITS the post. Hamr smacks it in.

Enjoy that doughnut, Hamr.

Eleven seconds later, Darche scores. Maybe he'll get some Timbits.

This should have been a shutout. Frankly it should have an asterix on it. Brutal officiating on a high stick on Hal Gill with all four guys looking at the play. It was the fucking PUCK CARRIER! Also, it's HAL FUCKING GILL!!! You call a bullshit dive on PK when he was spun like a top with a stick wrapped around his waist but you all stand mum on that?! Disgusting. They even had a long conversation amongst themselves over it.

Lucky AK46 got the empty netter. (Solid effort for it, shot a perfect shot from his blue line). Shit would have flown onto the ice, last game or not, McReally. Yea the team is classy enough to shake your hand, but the crowd would have eaten you alive at center ice if that bullshit goal was the key to losing this game. Especially with how well the Habs were playing once they broke the ice.

Only issue... Hello coaching staff? What the fuck are you doing with the power play? PK paired with Wiz = GOALS. Stop with the stupidity and watch the video. Pretty much every goal on the PP that involves either PK or Wiz, they were paired together. Stop trying to sabotage your team already. PK's powerplay ice time was ridiculously low, and I swear he was paired with Mara.

Someone needs to stop pissing in Evander Kane's cereal.

This game may have had a doughnut on the line, but Carey Price should get a dozen. The Thrashers would have had a 3-0 lead in the first five minutes if not for him...

Habs 4, Leafs 5: A Hallmark moment for Dave Jackson

For Dave Jackson, Love Brian Burke

Go forth the disillusioned, the blind, and stay your course to that 8th spot. Habs? No, I'm talking Leafs.

Habs would have had this game if their jet lagged brains could play defense or if Roman Hamrlik wasn't quarterbacking every minute of the 3rd period when you really could use a goal or if Auld could have given Price the night off he very much deserved.

But tonight's first star of the game was referee Dave Jackson, who's probably running home to check if he needs to clean some egg off his house.

So go forth, Maple Leaf. I hope you buy your way into 8th. The Flyers are just dying to meet you.

PS. "Optimus Reim" should take his ass off his goal line if he wants to be an NHL goalie. He's deeper than the Mariana Trench in there.

In other news:
Jaro "Cookie Monster" Spacek may be hurt more than we all think. It could be a knee problem. It could just be vertigo from last year (it never really goes away). So Habs traded my boy Ben Maxwell and a 4th for Brent Sopel and Nigel Dawes (who I thought was taller). And now that Sopel is a Hab can we PLEASE stop the trade rumours of Chris Phillips here? BARF!

Yes I'm still going to see the Bulldogs tomorrow. What's left of them, anyway...

Habs 1, Sabres 2 (OT): On the bright side...

...at least Price wasn't cut by an errant skate or something. Remember Clint Malarchuk?

My brother forced me to watch on TSN tonight and I was not amused. You could make a drinking game though.

- DRINK! Every time Pierre McGuire reminds you of the AWESOME DISPLAY OF GOALTENDING TONIGHT!
- DRINK! Every time Pierre McGuire giggles at another injury. Take two drinks if it's a Hab and his happiness is beyond Marineland status. Actually you'll probably need more than two and you probably won't remember you went over.
- DRINK! Every time Pierre McGuire refers to Price's rebirth after a TERRIBLE year last season where he was apparently punting rebounds out like Pachinko machine. Proceed to throw your glass on the screen and yell "HIS REBOUNDS WERE NEVER A PROBLEM, HE GOT NO GOAL SUPPORT YOU ASSHAT!" right after each of the 10 swigs you'll take.
- DRINK! Every time Gord Miller and Pierre McGuire alude to the terrible season the Sabres are having and how the Habs are just knee-slapping ripe for the picking in a back-to-back situation and with the first period from M*A*S*H. You'd be in the ambulance with alcohol poisoning in 5 minutes.

So when will JMart open his fucking mouth as he witness his team get run from behind 4 times in a row with no call in sight? The moment Lindy Ruff went apeshit on a blatant dirty hit by that dirty fucktard Kaleta, you knew the Habs would have to be shot dead to get a call. Just like when o when will this coaching staff notice that Spacek/Hamr on the penalty kill = GOALS FOR THE OPPOSITION?! Evidently the four they caused against Pittsburgh wasn't enough of a red flag. And those two had no business being there in OT. You'd have better results using a three fucking FORWARDS. Come Moen! Come Pyatt! Come anyone! Spacek's ass wasn't going to pick up the trailer backdoor no matter which way he stuck it.

Despite the first period slaughter, they did everything they could to get that point, fighting both Sabres asshatery and one-sided officiating. It accumulated in Plekanec's end of the 3rd penalty kill where he spent the remaining moments pinning the puck in the offensive zone while fighting off 4 Sabres. I think that play there best described the Habs valiant battle tonight. However I'm starting to think back-to-back games should be banned. All it does is raise the risk of injury as guys play a high impact sport dead tired and why would you purposely ruin your assets? The final damage is Cammy and Halpern have shoulder injuries, Patches is alive and well and doesn't look like the ribs punctured anything.

Time to bring up some Bulldogs. Need a shutdown center for Halpern, so I'm guessing either Maxwell or Engqvist. And then we'll need two wingers so I'm thinking Palushaj and White, but there's also word that maybe Wyman could be rewarded for his recent hot hand (yay!) unless Pouliot gets over his flu quickly. Also time to ship out Hamr and Spacek. I'll gladly take conditional picks to rid us of the Wonder Twins once and for all...

Habs 3, Flyers 5: Life on Mars

Because that sucked, here's a cup of bunnies

So apparently I was hit by a car and found myself in 1973 because all I heard this morning was how PK Subban should drop the gloves on the opening faceoff and challenge Mike Richards. I thought we got over this Richards-Subban crap last month? Are we going to hear it every time now?

Tonight's game was a comedy of errors. We thought when Subban sent Carcillo onto his ass at the RIGHT opportunity from puckdrop (without taking a penalty, without interference, and without a dirty hit) that something special would happen. Carcillo wanted to fight but one of his coaches grabbed him off the ice to tell him to stop. The Habs had control, but no finish. Light fluffy shots at The Bob for the most part, or clear view on shots that were hard. Looked like McMoustache was having one of his nights were a Flyer would have had to take a gun out and SHOOT a Hab for them to get a powerplay and even that was iffy. The puck over the glass was fairly automatic except for people named Pronger.
Period one ending.
PK with a turnover on a clearing pass.
One lazy stride by Gomez as Carter strolled by him.
Picard in another dimension with Carter waltzing by him.
Deke.
Score. 0-1 Philly.
May as well have fucking hooked him and taken the goddamn penalty instead of looking like you misplaced your drool cup.

The comedy continues as the Habs apply more pressure only this time they either hit post or miss by 500-feet. I've never seen a team so inept at the simple things, like aiming. Pacioretty discovers the "joys" of playing with Gomez who seems to have re-cursed Gionta. The kid is impressive, the kid is good, he threw his weight around but couldn't get enough stick on the puck through a sea of Flyers. Then comes his alter-ego: Benoit Pouliot.
Pouliot has the puck.
Inexplicably falls on his ass despite not being touched by anyone.
Puck goes the other way.
Hal Gill deflects the puck into the net, 0-2 for the Flyers.
We start wondering if 24/7 has their camera crew lurking in the shadows for whatever reason.

Almost makes it 0-3 as Moen takes the puck away and stickhandles in the slot to Hartnell. Wrong team. Carey Price is bailing them out as best as he can...though the opposite of The Bob, who was probably playing his best game ever.

PK Subban appears to have had enough. He cradles the puck on his stick and goes coast-to-coast, gets tripped, no call of course, makes a pass. Finally Pronger jobs Gionta and then Coburn punches Darche in the face. Cammalleri disrespects Richards by taking the puck away from him, tic tac toe. PK Subban was definitely working on his one-timers from the LEFT point and it's 1-2.

Ridiculous as it sounds, Habs forgot they were on the powerplay still as Gomez ignores the puck PK left for him right next to Price's net and almost allows a Flyer to take it if PK had not come back to get the jump on him.

A lot more of the same happens in the 3rd. The Wonder Twins have a tough time in their own zone but oddly enough get bailed out one way or another. And maybe I should just copy and paste this because it happened way too often.
Hal Gill passed out while skating backwards instead of poking at Zherdev the same way Picard found himself on another planet with Carter.
Wrap around and a lucky bounce. 1-3 for Team Douchebags.

Strange thing though, Habs don't stop even though they looked like they stopped skating before Zherdev's goal. It's Martin's stupid system that forces them to watch and wait instead of pounce and trounce. SuperPleky makes it 2-3 by poking in a lose puck and Gio ties it up on a gift from The Bob's five-hole where he didn't break his stick.
There's 10 minutes left.
Pouliot is on one of his "good" shifts.
Pouliot, in front of the ref and the Flyer net, is whacked hard in the face with a Flyer's stick.
No call.
Puck goes the other way.
Spacek tries to clear it but passes it to a wide open Flyer streaking in and Pleky has to snap his stick to save the day.
God bless Tomas Plekanec.
And may Spacek take a night or two in the pressbox as he caused the penalty in the first place.
Moen takes the team on a 3-on-2 shorthanded but really, it's Travis Moen with Jaro Spacek and Lars Eller and all 3 get caught deep.
Flyers rush back the other way 2-on-1, Price makes 2 point blank saves and another slips through his pad. Moen makes it back, Eller manages to follow.
Puck sits there in the slot and Hamr swats it blindly away onto the stick of Rip van Winkle who sneaks up behind Eller facing the wrong way. Easy goal makes it 3-4.

Another missed penalty as Richards trips Gomez behind Price's net. The evidence is on the ice, the Habs go insane with 500 turnovers and stand around forgetting Clod Giroux has a tête-a-tête with Price and his entire net. They did a fucking jig together for at least a minute, and he scores 3-5.

For once, just ONCE, I'd like to see Jacques Martin open his sad muttering mouth and RIP the officials a new one because shit like that is BUSH LEAGUE. How does Lindy Ruff get it done? They pull Price for one last hurrah. Kostitsyn misses a perfect backdoor set up while on the fucking doorstep. Briere tries for the empty net but PK muscles him down.

Should have just punched him like they did in 1973.

- First 3-game losing streak of the season
- Habs can't score more than 3 goals. It's against the System.
- The streak of not giving up more than 3 in regulation (not counting empty netters) has snapped officially.
- Bruins lost too, and someone forgot to tell the Habs that 1 or 2 points would have been fanfuckingtastic.
- Lars Eller was probably pissed off at that Rip Van Winkle goal, and that this pukefest was his father's first foray into NHL hockey.
- Tomorrow is a fight for 2nd/3rd or a dip between 5th/6th/7th/8th in the East. (Depending on how they break up the tie of 38 points).
- I've been suspect of all NHL officials ever since the e-mail fiasco was quietly swept under the rug. Consequently who is in town tomorrow but Greg Campbell.
- We take solace in the fact that Pronger was gone in the 3rd with a lower-body injury. Hopefully he tripped on his douchebag.

Habs 2, Leafs suck: Take yer lumps

What I ate at mom's birthday dinner. Now I feel like a gnocchi.
And gorgonzola cream sauce is OMG!

Apparently Pat Burns sent Carey Price an inspirational note before the season started. I dare say tonight's game was extra important for a good showing and extra special considering the outcome.

And with all the crap the refs didn't call on the Leafs, I could just picture Burns standing on the bench, screaming at the top of his lungs over this stupidity. But hey, Habs scored shorthanded and on their ONLY powerplay (perfect centering pass by Komisarek). I'm sure Burns loved that.

It's called justice. Or karma.
And our secret agent Komisarek gave himself away.
What say you, Monster?

Heh.

Ron Wilson was pissed his iPads don't work in the Bell Center. It's a hockey rink not a net cafe. If you need to look up "hockey" and "defense" do that before you come to play. Also whiteboard, pen, use it.

By the way, I dare say a playoff series between the Habs/Leafs would be nice this year. Last night was a playoff type game, complete with one-sided calls (a game with Stéphan Auger and Tim Peel is corruption city) and speed to burn. I mean, c'mon Leafs. You gotta stop rebuilding Boston and start playing some hockey already!

Bulldogs Birthday!
Unfortunately they lost in a shootout but it was Max Pacioretty's birthday! How did he celebrate? With a hat trick and a goal in the shootout. Actually he was the only offense the Bulldogs had in a 4-3 shootout loss to the fucking Marlies.

They rematch Sunday, live on CBC!

Note: RYAN WHITE HURT HIS KNEE AND IS VERY UPSET ABOUT THIS! ARRRGH!

Word of the Game: Cafouillage

Suck it, haters. Without Carey Price, Habs are 0-3-0 instead of an even 1-1-1. Granted they should have won this one. Instead it's time for the ol'd Jacques Martin style of hockey!

- Get outshot ridiculously (48-27)
- Hang back and nurse a one-goal lead
- Nurse a one-goal lead with CAFOUILLAGE in the defensive zone
- The stupid one-man forecheck
- The ladida figure skater pressure with a one-goal lead

Sometimes I wonder if Price really wished he were traded to the Blues so he could win games while only facing 4 shots a period. He was, to say the least, a very unhappy man while talking with the press after the game. Also I think he murdered Halpern with his "laser stare" for knocking the puck away from him as he tried to cover it in OT during that CAFOUILLAGE that cost them the full 2 points.

Add in some RIDICULOUS officiating (that wasn't a slash, you missed that trip, you missed that blatant interference, you missed a few goalie interference, maybe you should read the handbook), and there was the game.

Of course Habs shot themselves in the foot with their own brand of real penalties. Looking at you Cammy (WTF DUDE?!). When facing a team with Lecavalier, St. Louis, Stamkos, Gagner, and Malone's fat ass up front YOU MIGHT WANT TO STOP TAKING PENALTIES. Granted Habs PK was pretty good for most of the night. Their own powerplay wasn't so good though. SOS Markov.

Nice to see Hamr back. However, if you're going to block shots only to duck away from the one that leads to a goal, then don't look Gorges in the eye ever again. First, man up and put a VISOR on so you won't have to duck away. That or hike your butt to the net and push Malone out of the way so Price can see the shot...

Pre-game ceremony was awesome. No bullshit. Habs stood in a circle around center ice while Gio tried to introduce everyone in French and English (sort of). He deserves mad respect for having the balls to do that in front of 21-thousand people in a language he hasn't fully grasped. I'm sure the wooliest of wool appreciated Captain America's effort even if he had no idea how to say any of the numbers properly but he could just brush that off and say he was speaking Belgian French. And yes he apparently mispronounced everyone's name on purpose. Hi Justin Boyd! Hi Maxime Laperrière!

Looked like they had an awesome pre-game video too but instead RDS decided it was more important to hear Benoit Brunet tell us that he thinks Price is nervous even though he doesn't know anything nor care about Guy Boucher or for the 3 Amigos give us their redundant opinion on Boucher and the Bolts. Cool looking player video though from what I saw behind their heads...

OK I know the Habs love making awesome goals. Case in point, Andrei Kostitsyn's was a siiiiiiiiiiiick dangle around the poke check of Mike Smith after Plekanec made the suspect Bolts' defense look suspect. His own goal was quite awesome too after Cammy made them look just as suspect. Lapierre's goal was definitely assisted by Mike Vernace (what the hell are you doing there dude-who-was-swapped-for-Greg-Stewart?) after Eller totally got the hang of working on the 3rd line. But could we also get some garbage crash-the-net goals? The PP may suck donkeys but hey they're scoring 5-on-5! Sort of.

I hope they watch videos of that first period though because that was fantastic. Crisp passing, smart plays, good positioning. And two goals to boot. Moar please.

Round 2 Game 4: Out for Justice

Only team "out for justice" are the Habs, you whiny twerpy pricks.

Speaking of playoff slogans, what are the Habs using? I don't think they ever had a slogan...considering their jersey is a slogan. Or the slogan over the door that connects the room to the rink. Or the slogan (quote) on the wall from "In Flanders Fields".

Dominic Moore gave us "blood in the beard": a slogan that defines this team's character. No matter the odds, get smacked in the face, don't depend on the shitty officials, and keep on going.

I have never seen this team this close together since '93 where, when things were looking bleak, they were practically in each others arms terrified together at the prospect of being eliminated until fortune finally shone on them with an illegal stick. Tonight, as the final seconds ticked away and the Pens pulled Fleury for an extra man, not ONE person was seated on the bench. Each player were on their feet, some leaning over the boards, on the edge, Price was snuggled in close and banging on the glass. When the puck cleared the first time they all jumped and cheered like they scored a goal. When the game was over they poured over the boards as if they won the Cup already. They're so close and excited you can't help but fall in love with them.

...Can Gionta get his C now, please?

Round 2 Game 4: Why you so far, Abbotsford
What a silly system of 2-3-2 for the playoffs... Heat currently lead 2-1. C'mon Bulldogs, do like your big brothers did tonight. (*edit* Doesn't look like they will, now it's 4-1 Heat).

Quote of the night (during 2nd intermission):
Patrick Williams "Habs are the Abbotsford Heat of the NHL"
Derek Wills "...but more skilled and less stupid."

Round 1 Game 6: Bouhoohoodreau

Boudreau's in shock.

Ovie's shaking as he's drinking from the water bottle.

Semin's still...not there.

Green's gone green.

And the Habs smell like team spirit.

Jaro in the zone. Cammy's on drugs. PK SUBBAN INSERTED AND INSTANT AWESOME! Gorges for Conn Smythe! HMCS Hal Gill for captain (ahoy) now called The Battleship! Bergeron kept far far away from anything not a powerplay (and still sucked)! And how sexy was that 5-on-3 kill that was all Gorges, Gill, and BabyPyatt/Pleky until the puck fumbled it's way to Jaro? SEXY!

The Maxim Lapierre Hat Trick: two dives and a goal.

Stabbity stabby in the heart by Fehr, of course. Whatevs. But Thomas Jagr got it back with the empty netter! (Oh how it's been a long time since we had one of those).

Oh yea, note to Tim Peel: BRIAN GIONTA DOES NOT DIVE! Also BRIAN GIONTA DOESN'T DIVE ESPECIALLY WHEN HE HAS A FUCKING STICK WRAPPED AROUND HIS LEGS! Fuck you Tim Peel.

And before you continue wondering what's up with the Caps powerplay, did it ever cross anyone's mind that maybe, just maybe, the Habs PK is better? After all, they had a shitload of practice this year.

Game seven on Wednesday. I'm so depressed though... I have a day off (which is good), BUT the building committee scheduled a meeting...ON GAME SEVEN! Dying here...

Go Habs Go. Don't make me explode the garage ok?

Double-header Survivor Playoffs 2010: The Buffalo Sabres and the Nashville Predators


So long Buffaslugs. Sorry we couldn't have had the honor of destroying you in the playoffs but eh, the Bruins will do. Best goalie in the league? Check. But it doesn't matter if the rest of your team is playing in a playoff series with the will and determination of a Tuesday night game against Carolina.

So much for this being the year eh Ruff? Gut check time.

And the Chicago Blackhawks just eliminated the Nashville Predators to set up a round 2 rematch with the Canucks. Too bad for the Preds, they did their best, but the Hawks were just better. I still don't trust Niemi, and if Rinne were behind a stronger team, he'd be set for a good run to the Cup.

Round 1 Game 2: Playoff wings taste great but would be better served victoriously

Caps fans before the League called O'Halloran to remind him it's "Caps in 5, do your 'job'."

Can you believe CBC picked the Sabres/Bruins over this series? Hell, can you believe the CBC showed CURLING over this?!

Also can you believe stupid Space decided to premier the awesome new Doctor Who series in Canada during the fucking playoffs?! (Of course us real fans already downloaded it from the UK to watch it without a zillion commercials and are on episode 3 now).

It was just like that game when the Habs broke the Caps 16-game winning streak in OT. That was a wild game. This one was no different. Well, the difference is the Habs won that one. (JARO FIX YOUR GLOVE! THOSE WERE WEAK!)

Goalie interference is only called in the West
- Usually when a player's ASS is in the goalie's CHEST you whistle the damn thing. I've see the Red Wing called for weaker moves. And usually when the goalie is forked then shoveled out of his crease then sat on, YOU CALL IT! Though the "book" on Jaro is he's 5'11" and 175lbs, and doesn't like big traffic. I think we'll see Price in this series soon if only because Jaro will be so fucking tired from all that (the wear is starting to show as evident on his glove).
- A hat trick in the playoffs for the Belarusian Bomber? His leg scored a great 3rd goal! (Pens fans will note that Mike Green was preoccupied or useless on every Habs goal that occurred during his shifts, and you wonder why he wasn't asked to be on the Olympic team?) Oh, 3 goals and an assist. He hasn't been that productive since Game 7 of the 2008 playoffs, and the first playoffs hat trick since 1993.
- The Habs had the lead first. The Habs had the lead second. The Habs had the lead with two minutes to play. THE HABS HAD THE LEAD! Of course the Habs are allergic to holding leads, but whatever. Boudreau should be way more concerned about that fact.
- Ovechkin came out with 3 reckless hits and forgot to play hockey because that's when Gomez burned by him to pass one to Gionta who scored on their first shot. Usually the Caps score on their first shot.
- Two goals on two shots. Bye Theo! Varlamov wasn't much better either.
- It got really quiet in Washington...
- How intense was Hal Gill? Other than directing very vocally, he was so livid with that interference penalty that he was STANDING in the penalty box. He also let the refs know there's a rulebook they're paid to follow.
- Told you Eric Fehr worries me more. And Backstrom (also had a hat trick).
- Hilarious moment: Gionta wanted to fight Ovechkin. He actually dropped his gloves but Gomez dropped his gloves first with someone else. Unfortunately that meant no Gomez for 5 minutes so the powerplay could barely get into the zone.
- You know who I love? Tommy Pyatt. That's right. BabyPyatt blocked an Ovie rocket in the final minutes and then chased down the rebound to send it deep.
- The 3rd/4th line will get a goal one day. Sergei made one of the guys look peewee as he toe dragged through him.
- Our top guys delivered the goals again. That Pleks-Cammy-Pleks thing? Love it.
- How's this stat: 30 shots blocked by the Habs (Caps blocked 10, and most of them probably inadvertently as Slippy would always dump a puck into the gut of Caps player).

If the Habs didn't blow a 4-1 lead (FOUR TO ONE LEAD!!!) this series would be 2-0. Suck on that PJ Stock. We'll just have to wallow in our free wings of sorrows. Delicious sorrows...

Apparently every series is tied at 1 now, save for the Hawks/Preds because they didn't do their 2nd yet. I dare say the most wide opened, best playoff series in a long time?

Game 2: Bulldogs make roadkill of the Manitoba Moose
Maybe I'll just let the game sheet do the talking, because this game was how a real number 1 seed dominates a playoff game.


And just before Wyman scored on his shorthanded penalty shot (wtf?) Koharski nearly ruined the game by missing a blatant call that prevented Desharnais to do his job only to call a total dive by Shirokov. BIG day for Trotter and Subban though. Even bigger one for Alex Henry who made a huge glove save and scored a goal. You'd have a higher chance of finding buried treasure in your backyard than Henry has scoring a goal. BabyHabs also chased Cory Schneider out of his net. Unfortunately Weber was destroyed on the glass and didn't return...no idea if it's a concussion or not.

Two words though: Guy Boucher. This man is amazing. I salivate at what he could do with the roster the Habs have.

Habs 2, Sharks 3: This one hurt

Rar.

Oh come on... Your goalie is doing cartwheels for you on 40 shots, getting tossed around, being awesome and you fuck around in your D zone, stand around and just let the Sharks do whatever and you lose. YOU LOSE A PAINFUL ONE! Oh and with a little help from Chris Fucking Lee and his stupidity.

The passive defensive play of this team will be its undoing. Good aggressive offense though. But it's like Jekyll and Hyde on the ice. I don't know why no one knows how to clear the zone or would rather watch the Sharks do whatever they felt like doing instead of, you know, trying to stop them. Like that short handed goal which had no business even going towards the Habs net. Talk about LAZY.

I also don't know why no one knows the beauty of a hip check anymore. TSN Muppet Bob Mckenzie explained but it translated into "the new NHL is wussy".

If Martin doesn't start Price next game he's got a fucking problem. Kid was UNREAL tonight.

Who gave you a job?
Dammit people! Why did you let PJ Stock back on the radio?! The only air time he should get is to read out the scores. If he tries to use his brain, nothing good comes out of it! Hey PJ, the Habs didn't need to trade. Especially considering what got moved that day... And the 2nd round pick used to get Moore was covered by the 2nd round PICKED player they traded a rather dazed and confused 6th round player for. A rookie is pretty much the same as a draft pick except he'll have some advance on his development.

(Other than Artyukhin... Not much really moved around that this team already has. And who knows, maybe they made an offer that wasn't accepted).

If there was interest, other teams probably wanted players this team can't afford to lose and the return was not good enough to warrant losing them. You can't just call up your buddy in LA and say "Heeey so, would you like a 5 million dollar 35 year old defenceman?" You want to be the Leafs and trade all your top point getters for futures? What are we, the Expos?

The fog of Whistler mountain has reached the Bell Center

Well that was shit.

After the emotional 3rd period last night, Coach Martini thinks he's a genius by putting in Jaro ignoring the burning anger of Carey Price and any momentum he might have had, by starting a line of Gionta-Desharnais-Darche, and incidentally forcing Rhino to fight Laperriere since he was the only one with size there. Well that's what you get. Too much chocolate milk for Jaro. Only Gomez and Gionta capable of doing anything offensively. Subban and Gorges seemingly the only capable defensemen.

Bad night for Hamr and Spacek, even if Spacek ran over Hartnell for bumping Price later.

And we're back to not being able to score unless it's a powerplay.

The penalty shot was bullshit too. Did they change the rules or something? Not only did Briererererere get a good shot on net as he was hauled down, but his teammate shot a rebound on net (Price save both). The ref had his arm up like it was a delayed penalty and play only stopped after the second save with everyone in Price's net. Way to bend the rules, new NHL. I don't like the ref having the ability to decide if a guy should have one or not even if he already shot the puck.

Sad that Subban's parents had to witness their son's home debut in that suckfest. At least they got to see their boy shine, completely own Pronger who tried to hit him, earn another assist, and hear the Habs faithful chant his name.

I welcome the Olympic break because I think this team needs it bad. Just don't get fat, guys. And don't get injured, Pleky!

Learn to make fire with the burning anger of a goaltender

First: Harpooning a goalie and pitchforking him into the net to prevent him from doing his job does not allow you to say "good goal".

Second: Hey Rhino, I know you really want to score, but you're supposed to tip it into the OTHER net.

Third: Well nice of you guys to show up in the third period. I'm sure Price and Subban appreciate the thought that you decided to join them. Guess the rest of you were screwed up with the early 6pm start?

Fourth: Looks like Briere feels he had to even things up by tiping it into his own net as well.

Fifth: Hey Dominic Moore! Scoring for us this time by bouncing it off Leighton's ass. Maybe he is the meaning of life?

Sixth: We have no more defencemen. Who's left in Hamilton?

Seventh: Fuck you, refs.

Habs 3, Sabres 4: What a pain in the arse

Get moving boys. These irksome Leafs are two points behind with broken goalies.

Habs are 2 points out of 14th place yet still hover around a playoff spot. What a League. What was that about trying to prevent a two-tier league?

This game was great, so to speak, until Derek Roy lost his balls and couldn't man up to fight Glen Metropolit after slashing him a few at center ice, giving Metro the 4 minute penalty and prompting Cammy to proclaim "WTF?!" from the bench. Was this an IOU for the blatant Too Many Sabres penalty that Miller freaked out on? Probably.

And with the clock frozen on 19seconds shouldn't that final sequence be redone? Maybe I'm thinking of the CFL.

What have we learned tonight?
- Habs have 170 minor penalties so far. But how many are good?
- Andrei Kostitsyn is playing catchup with two more goals tonight. Currently challenging Price for this month's Molson Cup? (And Hammer).
- And how fast was that shot of his anyway? It couldn't be seen by the naked eye and wasn't even captured on film.
- Sergei Kostitsyn needs a finisher. So does Gomez. Lapierre isn't that finisher...
- Pleky and Cammy sketched out a play on the bench with their fingers. Once satisfied they told Andrei about it. Right after the Sabres goal, Cammy and the line combines to score. I wonder if that was the sketch?
- We need more Andrei Kostitsyn interviews.
- If that was Jaro trying to avenge the last Sabres game... Well, it would be nice if he could freeze the puck more often.
- Vanek was knocked down by a Forum Ghost behind everyone while on a faceoff.
- The ref furthest away from the play will call 2 minutes for playing defence on Josh Gorges, while the one who is closer prefers to let them play.
- YoMamaWeen still sucks at the Bell Center. Perhaps he's afraid of ghosts?
- When Kaleta scores, God kills a kitten. Save the kittens. (Shorthanded is even more painful).
- RDS screw up of the night: Called Lapierre "Latendresse". Yes Brunet, we know where your mind is. I can't wait for Thursday!
- Hal Gill is the penalty kill's best friend. Unless he's being interfered on during a 5-on-3 to no call. If a Hal Gill falls in the forest does anybody hear?
- MAB's new name is "il rate la cible". Facepalm.
- The media will give Tyler Myers a star for being a big rookie but completely ignore the herculean effort and amazing offensive set up magic of Plekanec. Infidels!
- And what the fuck was Hecht's star for? Being Buffalo's Plekanec? C'mon! You're LOCAL media not Buffalo media. Release your inner homer. Why not? That's what they do...
- Didn't go over 30 shots against tonight...

Keep your sticks on the ice, not in the faces. Cammy says it's upsetting. When Cammy is upset, I'm upset! Pleky is upset too! (My hamster and the hockey player).

Chris Lee: ruiner of lives

Chris Lee has no intent to blow, he just blows. And it's not the first time he's screwed us in a game.

Crosby claims Fleury was covering it anyway. Not likely when the puck is behind you.

Another one of his glorious moments in the game: puts his hand up to call a delayed penalty with 3 seconds on the clock while the Habs have the goalie already pulled.

Blows a negated icing.

Doesn't know what icing is altogether.

Doesn't recognize the Penguins system of interference for defence. Something the Pens fans themselves complained about to no end when playing Detroit in the playoffs.

Offside and high sticks on clears.

And if you dare complain about him in public for the blind prick he is, the League will fine you.

You can say the Habs can't hang their loss on one bad call after being outplayed and outshot. One moment in 60 minutes. At the same time, it's that one moment in 60 minutes that can finally turn a game around. It's the Catch 22 of the sport. Like calling Marty McSorley's illegal stick to turn a playoff series around, one blown call was the difference between the possiblity of earning a point in a game the Habs did a great job at playing with the arse lucky Penguins.

The only solace Habs fans can have is Wikipedia Revenge.

Funny how in the last Pens/Habs game Price had the puck in his pad and was squeezing for a good 5 seconds without a whistle when Guerin walks up to him and pokes it the net for a goal. Tonight, it's a good foot in front of Fleury and TWEET gotta stop those Habs from scoring!

Jokes.

It's too bad Cammy lost his angle on that now-patented 2-on-1, hitting the side of the net instead of the net. Then this one moment in the game wouldn't have hurt so much.

How cute was Hammer's goal celebration? Give the man a marching band.

At least Price got a star for his efforts. I point and laugh at the idiot who called CJAD to blast and blame the kid, and I cheer for Murray Wilson who blasted the idiot live on air. Best call he's done all year.

And the PK is still hot. The powerplay too. When we get a powerplay...

I'm off to Toronto for the weekend now. Bar Mitzvah in enemy territory. I can't believe my little cousin is already 13... My brother and I got him a red Habs jersey with Price 31 on the back. Thinking about it now, maybe Cammy's #13 would have been more fitting just for the #13. But you can't fail with Carey. He's already got a Price t-shirt. So while I wine and dine, the Habs will be down in Atlanta. All I have to say is GO HABS GO and a pox on Chris Lee.

Koharski Jr, get a doughnut!

It must run in the family... A brother's bond. Ruining our lives, one bad call at a time.

Case in point he found a way to screw the Bulldogs after they started a hard game on actual ice (different from the slush at Copps Coliseum...ahem Mr. Billionaire?) and only managed to finally get one late while on a powerplay courtesy of one PK Subban for his first real pro-goal. And with 5 seconds left with Sanford on the bench, I don't remember who it was but they gloved the puck down and managed to push it in over the line but FUCKING KOHARSKI JR SAID NO GOAL! AHL apparently doesn't have play review? Bet he would have allowed that under-the-frame goal in Boston last night. Captain Darche was absolutely livid. The game ended with Sergei furioiusly whipping the puck at the glass.

Hopefully Sunday will be our revenge as the Bulldogs roll into Ottawa for a game on Sens ice.

The juicy bits:
- Seriously guys? Booing the Bulldogs now? Stay classy, Montreal.
- I had the great joy of sitting next to a wannabe Jacques Demers. I was very close to killing him. He would not shut up the whole fucking game... *grinds teeth*
- PK Subban will be a Hab sooner than later. And he just feeeeds off the crowd. He also will be the first one to try and turn the tide. He plays with a cocky attitude and wears his heart on his sleeve.
- Sergei is not an AHLer. He needs better linemates too.
- My one question for Guy Boucher is why is Subban not your main point shot? Sergei too? Just wondering... Oh and that one man on the line was the Pens' powerplay, and it wasn't good.
- Loved watching Boucher coach. He's always doing something. Every break, the team is huddled in.
- All you guys who suggested to bring Sanford up because of his "numbers"? Uh DO NOT WANT! He makes Jaro look like a Brodeur. And every time he plays the puck, he puts his defenceman in a terribly dangerous position. He's pretty much Marc Denis.
- I really didn't notice Johansson, which was kind of odd.
- Neilson and Conboy were big, tough, and mean. They're also pretty good around the net! And Conboy is fucking huge!
- Last time Weber scored two of the 3 goals. Tonight? He was having all kinds of problems...
- Bruiser was absolutely mental.
- First regulation loss for the Dogs, all because of Koharski.