Congratulations to Team Russia for taking Gold by finally realizing Jared Cowen's awkwardness and by fully exemplifying Kovalev Hockey. See! The man was on to something!
That or check their Gatorade. One hell of a 3rd period rush. My brother (who now has the evil gastro) wondered what the hell they did during 2nd intermission, or ate (and if he could have some too), and where this second team came from. Or maybe that's their plan: conserve energy, lull you to think it's over, then curbstomp on your face at breakneck speed now that you're too tired to move. At least the coach can go home happy knowing everyone will be safe and sound, if you know what I mean...
Don't feel bad, Canada. Silver isn't the worst. All the trash we've heard about how our boys weren't even going to score let alone medal... And it's more than what the Swedes got, who sulked their way to fourth in one of the most dullest medals games I have ever seen. I mean c'mon man, Team Finland would have pushed hard for Bronze with the ferociousness of the top prize.
And soon we'll see Cowen awkwardly defending Lehner for the Senators one day. Have fun with that one!