Top 10 ways Habs can win Round 1 VS. The Senators

That's right folks. From 15th to 2nd, your Montreal Canadiens are Divisional Champions. And because the Bruins appear to still be in a coma, they lost their deciding game, and ripped out of the gleeful fingers of HNiC the "sure bet" (not really) Habs-Leafs playoffs series everyone but myself was waiting for. (Even though there will be plenty of chances for that under the new format, assuming the Red Wings don't ruin everything, which they do). Instead, we get to ride the fucking 417 to Ottawa while stabbing ourselves in the ears over every Erik Karlsson lovefest while dodging raccoons and trucks.

Seriously folks, I'm glad for the Thursday start, but I can't take four days of every mediot gushing over Karlsson. I'm not going to make it.

But fear not! Top 10 ways is back for this sprinted season! So if I don't survive til Thursday, here's hoping the Habs do, and prep themselves accordingly.

10. Lars Eller will switch jerseys with David Desharnais between shifts, especially when a powerplay is designated, guaranteeing him at least 20 minutes of ice time to score a goal and set up 2 others. People will casually forget how tall he is, and maybe not notice altogether as they'll be blinded by the glow of his pale Scandinavian skin.

9. Jarred Tinordi vs Jared Cowen. Mind = Blown. (Or maybe that was just Cowen's knee again. Again).

8. If you see a guy with crazy hair and a wild beard who's a "son" of an "Alfred", probably a good idea not to have a Bouillon on the ice. Especially with a few minutes left in a period where he might score a goal while you blinked.

7. If we've all fallen asleep by the 2nd period of Game 1, someone set up a Youppi/Spartacat cage match. Please.

6. As this series appears to be a confrontation between two possible Jack Adams nominees, I think it's high time someone set up Paul MacLean's look-alike with Michel Therrien's look-alike. They're practically made for each other!

5. Remember that game in Pittsburgh that closed the series in your favour and shut down the Igloo? Remember that moment, Travis Moen? Now would be the best time in a rather half asleep season of yours for you to channel the Travis Moen of that night and dipsy doodle around Sergei Gonchar like nobody's business. Otherwise, someone might dipsy doodle around Markov. Hopefully you do it first.

4. The Senators motto was "Tied at 1, taking it to OT, win in a shootout". Thankfully there are no shootouts in the playoffs. But Habs would do themselves a grand favour in NOT letting Silfverberg zoom off on a breakaway to unleash his top-shelf snipe. Because that's all he does.

3. If Chris Neil tries to start shit, just let Brendan Gallagher laugh in his face. Else, punch him in the gums. Or push his helmet over his eyes.

2. Whatever you do, make sure it pisses off Denis Potvin so much, he goes on an epic condescending rant about some injustice or some such. Hopefully it includes a goal by PK Subban after an epic stumble by Kyle Turris or Guimauve (to equally annoy RDS).

1. The plan for Craig Anderson is simple: Replace efficient Clorox ice cleaner brigade with ice girls.

Seems all these preview shows only believe there's one player playing for the Habs, and he's not allowed past the red line. Nuts to you, rest of the team. Guess you can go home early. Yet in the end, it's like they're begrudgingly putting you to win the series...with a few thousand buts attached to it. Shove it in their faces, boys.

Go Habs Go!

Survivor Playoffs 2010: The Ottawa Senators

The Senator is not pleased. Then again that face always looks sour.

After avoiding elimination with a triple-OT win in Pittsburgh via a rather weak point shot from Carkner (really? NOW you decide to be an NHLer?) the Ottawa Senators put up a defiant battle to win another. Alas it wasn't meant to be. Up 2-nothing, then up 3-1, of all the rat bastards in the world to tie it that fucker Matt Cooke is the one who sends the game to OT.

Contrary to what the CBC thought, the Pens looked gassed all game. Fleury looked surprised on every shot he faced, no one remembered their positions, and actually attempting to score on anything but the rush was inconceivable. And credit the Sens were wearing the Pens down. Crosby wasn't allowed to breathe anymore. Malkin got thrown around. Shot blocking to the point of annoyance. But all it took was one slingshot over Leclaire to end it.

If the triple-OT game inspired the Habs, I hope they learned from this one as well. (Though apparently Chocula is scratching Sergei, and unless he's sick apparently Chocula wants us to lose).

It's heartbreak in Ottawa. See you in October.

Revenge! Bulldogs win!

Your screen is puny. Is funny to me!

Nothing is more awesome than going into the building of the team that beat you "at home" and winning. And it was made way more awesome by the fact that Sergei was the one who scored the only goal. Blown cover, and bam, he snuck right into the slot for a perfect one-timer.

Things I noticed:
- No Koharski, better game.
- PK is awesome, and so is the penalty kill. But seriously, this kid could go for the Battle of the Blades when he's retired.
- Cedrick has a giant fucking horseshoe. And I mean GIANT.
- Sergei is doing great, chatting with his teammates, still intense, always in position, Boucher gave him a good pat on the back before the 3rd period started, and when he got the 3rd star he happily gave his stick to a young lad who promptly ran off happily with it.
- Every break, the team is always huddled around Boucher for some plan.
- Conboy is huge! And was also being targeted for some reason...
- No fights tonight. Guess they tired themselves out Friday.
- The arena was kind of empty. Like around 4000 people. (15 000 at the Bell Center on Friday). So quiet I could hear Boucher yelling.
- Good number of Habs fans and a Bulldogs Fan Club, who came by bus from Hamilton. They were in Montreal on Friday too.
- Fucking arena is in the middle of fucking nowhere. Stupid Ottawa!

Jaro's agent is a forum troll
On what was probably a very lovely day for the Habs today, what with the fan fun practice and all... I was sure some media idiot would bring it up. Thankfully Jaro let the word out that he had only just heard of the situation and would not comment. Jaro's a good guy, a team guy, a runnerup to last year's Unsung Hero award, and neither he nor Price select when they play and have enough to deal with. Frankly the "stats" Walsh brought up were only a half-truth: one just needed to actually watch the games to understand why in the face of this stat, Price was awarded the Molson Cup for October and the NHLPA player of the day after Thursday's game. He also wasn't the reason why they were ousted from the playoffs last season, though everyone wanted to make him the scapegoat on it. I won't go further on this, as Dave Stubbs wrote up an excellent piece on the matter. However, if I were Jaro, I'd fire his ass asap for not only nudge winking his way in a matter he has no business in, but the unprofessionalism makes Jaro look bad... Of course the other trolls and haters just buzzed about with glee on this. Douchebags. All of ye.

Skates!
What is it with skates and cutting players this year? Poor Cam Ward... As if he and the Hurricanes didn't have enough problems right now.