Habs 2, Bruins 1: Got the slow moves like Jagr

You know you're in Montreal when, you're eating at the local Indian restaurant, enjoying some mild (spicy) Indian food when the waiters interrupt the Bollywood on the TVs for the hockey game.

My dad orders way too much food.
- He also HATES spicy food, yet...didn't order mild.
- But this time my brother finally paid for me!
- BOORUINS!
- What's that they say about if you're going to run around, you better be ready to stand up for yourself instead of running away like a twat hoping your big buddy will take care of it?
- Meanwhile, Krejci: asshole.
- Galchenyuk stuggling you say? Do go on.
- Emelin's fall bent his knee the wrong way, otherwise that hit on Lucic wouldn't have been so bad. Get well soon, Cage Face
- Bruins offense? Jagr's foot must have fallen asleep.
- Please, extra cross check to the head all night, Lucic. Clod needs to yell at the refs more.
- So is Ryder haunting you yet?
- The tipping the puck by smacking it down to the ice and bouncing it technique. I'd take Ryder back JUST for that.
- PK with 2 more assists. NHL still not recognizes him for Norris.
- Price spins in his crease, still gets square.
- DD is gonna kill me with the turnovers...
- Eller/Galchy/Prust BFFs for life.
- Eller with the quote of the year: "I must be really strong to take Chara down. Are we gonna say the E-word?" I love you.
- Unfortunately that was a penalty, for holding, as he did grab the jersey. But hey, 6-on-4 and no shots so it's cool. Bruins blamed the ice afterwards. Apparently it's slippery. Who knew?
- Tim Peel did not fuck up this game for once.

NHL have graced us with "Top of the Heap" headline. Heap of what? Shit?

Ryder haunting~

Habs 4, Bruins 3: Defeat the horde!

Look! Bruins!

Feels like the Habs walked into Boston and defeated an evil horde of orcs. Oh wait. They did.

Now, a win 24 hours after GoalFest '13 was not without it's flaws. I mean there must have been a symphony of 20 posts on the night on both ends. And I swear Budaj makes 90% of his saves with his eyes clothes while deep in prayer. Oh and that Kaberle-Bouillon pairing does not instill confidence. (Don't bring up Kaberle's +6 please, he hasn't played enough). And might I add that Galchenyuk on the fourth line does not protect him nor does it provide us with anything useful. (Did Therrien turn into Lindy Ruff overnight)? But hey, they've proved to be a resilient bunch capable of fighting through Therrien's weird over-coaching and strange decisions...

And sending Chara to the loony bin for 2, 5 and a 10 helps.

However, I can't say which team dominated the game because neither did. Habs came out on top without giving free points in OT though. And jockeyed to take that first spot back.

Meanwhile, TD Garden is currently busy cleaning up the hay.

Habs 5, Oilers 3: THIS

This wasn't pretty.

This was a tale of two sloppy teams that looked better as far away from their own net as possible.

This was a battle over Grigorenko. Though looking at the defence on the Oilers side, they might want a defenceman instead...

But more importantly, for the Habs, this was about PK and Patches.

No one wants to "commemorate" what happened on the Bell Centre ice a year ago today. We'd rather look at what Patches has done since then. A model citizen. A handsome husband. A great teammate. A hard worker. And the Habs first 30 goal scorer since Kovalev did it in the 2007-2008 season.

It was such a great gesture by PK to get him that 30th goal. With a one-goal lead, he powered his way out of the zone and went for the empty netter, protecting the puck perfectly. He could have easily scored the goal. Instead he sends it over to Patches who fires it past Taylor Hall attempting to be a goalie.

PK opened the scoring for the Habs after Horcoff tipped his in. Both were on the powerplay. Oddly enough the Oilers have the best powerplay in the League while top teams like the Rangers have the worst. It was also a great game by Gomez and Palushaj, who buzzed around the Oilers' zone. Seemed every time a penalty was called, it was because Palushaj just never stops moving. Kaberle made up for his ridiculous pass up the middle to Omark by getting his own powerplay goal back door. I'm thinking if Markov were around, either he or Gorges or PK could "babysit" Kaberle's terrible defense. And again, Lars Eller gets the hard-working LOLgoal of the night from behind the net. It's his 15th!

So while most Habs fans are annoyed they won, please, just celebrate it. The world has too many grumpy faced people. And we lost DD to a hamstring injury tonight. That, plus the flu... Just be happy! Frankly any player who's top 10 in the draft this year has the strong potential to being very useful. In any case Eller  (13th) and Patches (22nd) are proof you don't need to be top 10...

And in Puppy News: He's coming home 7pm Friday night! We'll watch the Habs-Canucks game together on Saturday night.

Habs 2, Habs 1: We Trollin'

We're such hockey trolls...

Habs won the game and the Bruins didn't even score a single goal.

And all this after Peeair McSplooge's angry rant against the Goat's firing of Perry Pearn. Really Peeair, tell us how you really feel. Dude's still pissed he fired him.

1 - Pleky scored goals in both nets, the opening goal and the game winning goal. As Pleky faceoffed it into the net, Price said he Bill Bucknered it.

2 - Bruins' plan was to just hit anything that moved, which is fine considering the Habs' back-to-back scenario. Habs plan was to take it in stride.

3 - PK's plan was to fight Marchand. Ended up more like a round of missed punches and Marchand holding on for dear life.

4 - Erik Cole scored a goal. Research means life.

5 - Nokie's 4th line faceoffs taking him into the mid-60s. Only guy who could beat him steady was Chris Kelly, who did so only twice. Another fun addition: Mike Blunden's constant grin.

6 - I get serious satisfaction when I see Gio and DD routinely send Chara into fits. You can't defend yourself against it when you can't see them!

7 - Benoit Pouliot effectively rendered Horton and Krejci useless. We called him the Bermuda Triangle of hockey for a reason.

8 - Price's stop on Peverley's break away was full of mustard and extra pickles. Also with a quiet robo-celebration.

9 - My only real pissy comments Coach? Your 2-man advantage plan this time was shit. And WTF Cammy weaaaak.

10 - Diazling save on a puck that wouldn't listen to Price behind the net, and an even better recovery save by Price without a stick. He's just that cool.

This win, coupled with the Jets insane 9-8 victory over the Flyers, sent the Bruins to the bottom of the East. It makes me sad because if Nail Yakupov becomes a Bruin I'LL SCREAM. But at the same time I'm loving this win. And yet conflicted because it means JMart survives another day. But it's a good character win! Especially when they sucked in back-to-back games last year and looked content with staying in their own end for most of the night. Then again they could have easily put themselves up 3-0 with those wide open nets that Timmeh should thank his D for saving. And as they got going more in the 3rd, especially Eller's line on the forecheck, it looked like the Bruins were crapping their shorts. I mean I spent the entire final 2 minutes with my blanket half way up my face absolutely terrified...

Trolls.

Bulldogs Report!

Louis Leblanc made his AHL debut tonight against the Rochester Americans. He finished with a 3 point night, picking up 2 assists and scoring the game winning goal as they beat the Amerks 3-2 in OT. They currently have him on a line with Engqvist and Conboy (who both scored the other goals). Last year Avtsin was on that line. I call it the "Welcome to the Pros" line. 

Pre-season Game 5: Golf

The first time RDS finally shows the pre-season game in Halifax (from what I remember anyway) and...it's delayed because some PGA Golf tournament snorefest went into overtime. Basically we missed Gomez's goal. Yes, it's true! And on a breakaway! Incredible, I know! I mean he actually DIDN'T pass it to himself and finally shot the puck!

Of course when they finally switched back, the game turned to shit. Hey whatever. It gave Benoit Brunet something to crap about. Much like some, he didn't get the memo of back-to-back-to-back-to-back games with a defense of mostly 19-year-olds.

- Palushaj's hard work finally got him a goal. Dude must be exhausted though. I'm thinking he gets the game off tomorrow. He deserves it.
- Some nice plays by Morgan Ellis in his first game. Looks like he'll be a serviceable when he grows up.
- Archambault dove to block a shot from Chara. No fear in our boys, unlike what certain radio hosts believe.
- Favourite RDS remark of the night: Alain Crete "Did you see any improvement in Benoit Pouliot tonight?" Denis Gauthier "Did you see Benoit Pouliot tonight?"
- If the Habs were the Carolina Hurricanes of last year, Gallagher would be our Jeff Skinner and would probably start the season on the team.
- Speaking of Gallagher, he hit like 10 posts and continued his strong play. Basically, like a dog with a bone. Knock him into the boards while pushing him off one of his rushes? Pfft no problem. Gets right back up and tries to score again.
- Habs in general hit like 20 posts. How you doing, Khudobin?
- Not exactly Budaj's best effort but considering who was playing in front of him, who can blame him?
- Hilarious how it seemed every time Marchand touched the puck he was booed. In Halifax.
- Speaking of the hometown troll, you know when Hal Gill can outrun you it raises some eyebrows.
- Felt like the Bruins cheering section consisted of a few friends and family members of the players. Or disgruntled Patriots fans. (Hello Buffalo Bills).
- Yea that Kostitsyn on the point experiment? WRONG KOSTITSYN! Sergei was the powerplay quarterback. Andrei's strength is from the middle to down low!

Tomorrow is more Booins. And it'll be the debut for Michaël Bournival, who was cleared to play after a knee injury had him miss a large chunk of pre-season. It'll also be the first time Patches faces the Bruins since Chara nearly killed him.

By the way, I gotta laugh at Pouliot wearing #67 considering. May that number burn into your fucking soul, you lunkhead shaved gorilla of a captain.

My mandatory Stanley Cup Final post

Fuck you, Bruins. Fuck you, Canucks. I hated you both and wished nothing more than your ultimate demise.

And Chara lifts the Cup after getting away with attempted murder. What a perfect representation of the NHL, kids!

Now we'll sit through a summer listening of how everyone should copy THIS model to win, just like how last year it was all "Chicago's model is how it works!" and previously it was Pittsburgh, Detroit... This year's model also requires the League in your pocket. Does Brendan Shanahan have a kid in the NHL yet?

Be prepared for year of seeing that shaved gorilla lift the Cup on HNIC's opening. Frankly now I really refuse to watch CBC for my hockey.


Flashback: It's apparently 1994 again. I had a bad feeling this would happen.


In other news, the logo I made for a colleague's hockey team was printed. I got my own as payment today. We used the Islanders' jersey because the Flyer's one was on major backorder.

Game 3 - Habs 2, Bruins 4: Pre-Easter special

It started off putrid. I think there were two Habs on the ice on Krejci's easy backdoor goal. I know there was plenty off hot air on that 2nd lucky goal off the wall. And the laissez-faire attitude of the team as Price played the puck only to have it go straight to a Bruin with an easy empty net. Heads! Get 'em out of your asses!

And then like magic, Andrei "Bum Ankle" Kostitsyn made Chara look like the drooling pylon he can be and scored through Thomas' rickety wickets. Plekanec joined the party doing a similar trick. It was delicious, like the middle of a Cadbury Creme Egg...only to have them pull Price for the extra man and dribble the solid effort on our sleeves. Pity.

At least they didn't give up.

Sweating it out: Bruins looked mighty tentative after the Habs started scoring...and coming at them in waves.

Lady Luck: Right up Timmy Thomas' arse and out Horton's nose.

Fo shizzle: If only we could bottle PK's enthusiasm and hockey smarts then force feed it to Pouliot. Otherwise, stick Chicken on the grill. He's done.

Nanny State: Even though he was called for a penalty he missed and technically charged the boards, any chance you can maybe suspend Pouliot for 20 games just to get him out of the line up? (My brother: WE WANT PALUSHAJ!)

On vacation already: Guys were goofing around in the morning skate. Price wasn't happy about it. JMart addressed it but for some reason they still came out unprepared to compete. What happened to "all business"?

Wonder Twins ACTIVATE: It was only a matter of time before Spacek/Hamr cost the Habs some goals against.

Mighty Mite: There's something infinitely satisfying seeing Gionta check Chara hard.

Mighty Not-So-Mite: Just like there's something infinitely satisfying seeing PK knock Lucic into the boards clean and hard.

Contract: Please sign Wiz.

Small things amuse small minds: Really if you're satisfied with that win, Bruins, go buy me a lotto ticket. I'm guaranteed the jackpot.

Crowd watch: Satisfied Bell Centre despite the loss. Obviously they appreciated the effort and tried to will the team to victory with their energy. Almost worked.

Started off with too much wrong and not enough right. All those little things that won them the previous two games didn't show up 'til after Andrei scored and even then the rebounds went to no one. Hope Weber can come back into the lineup. Pouliot deserves to visit the pressbox.

Game 4: Let's get some COMPETENCE back!

We could all use a little piece of sunshine right now...

I don't do April Fool's shit.

And in the gloomy dirty days of early Spring, the last thing anyone needs is some stupid prank to make one's day worse.

I think the "panic" that has hit the fanbase over a few crappy games is a little premature. While everyone is awestruck at the Leafs grasping at their final few playoff straws (good luck with that) forgetting that teams above them are also winning games and therefore balancing out the standings so nothing really changes (see the Calgary Flames), a small wonderful miracle has cut through the doom and gloom to bring a smile to our faces. Today, Max Pacioretty stepped onto the ice to begin his rehab training for the first time since Chara recklessly broke his neck.

The child is blessed.

It might be a surprise to everyone who doesn't know Max Pacioretty that he's able to return to his skates so early. Considering he commonly plays with whatever injury he has and seems to actually use whatever pain as a tool to keep himself focused, Jacques Martin proclaiming that it probably won't be so far fetched to see him return to the game he loves sooner than later must be wonderful news to his team. People will question if he's mentally willing to do so, and whether or not the horrific hit will be on his mind so much so that it'll affect his game. I say don't worry. All the proof you need is the fact that despite the danger of getting "shot" again by Wisniewski he goes right back down there to the front of the net, busted ribs and all. Fact is one of the first things he did when he woke up in hospital was talk to his trainer about training plans so he could recover and return to the ice as soon as possible. I'm sure there are still some douchebag Bruins fans who think he did the biggest dive ever, regardless of the broken neck and his crumpled unconscious body on the ice. To which I say "fuck you". Just because Savard's brain was turned to mush thanks to consecutive hits to his head, doesn't mean Max's head is in the same category. Oh look the Red Sox are back, shouldn't your attention be completely on the ballpark?

Just remember: millimeters from having his career ended at the hands of that over-aggressive manchild who would have been suspended if the Bruins didn't have their hands in the back pocket of the NHL. Remember that, watch him skate with those long lanky legs of his and smile. And then say "in your fat ugly face, NHL". Max Pacioretty is Batman, and broken bones won't keep him down.

Mark Recchi probably shit in his Depends.
(Bonus sunshine and rainbows: Markov!)

Habs 4, Booins 1: Beauty and the Beast

He's a beautiful boy. He's our baby power forward. When I see him I see Mike McPhee with a hint of Brian Skrudland in OT during the playoffs.

I'm a little out of sorts right now. Fact is, it takes a lot to make me cry and I was in tears. And when they had him in the stretcher and Carey Price put his hand on his arm, I lost it. I bawled.

All this on the very day Todd Bertuzzi ended Steve Moore's career. We've come a long way to go nowhere, NHL. Just like my dog when he chases his tail. It's never ending.

We should be talking about Lars Eller, who together with linemates Andrei Kostitsyn and Travis Moen have something like 17 points in 6 games. They were all over the Bruins every time they touched the ice. They were intense, quick, they beat them will skill and toughness. Eller was responsible for the 2 even strength goals in the first period.

We should be talking about Brian Gionta. The little captain who could has now scored a goal in every game against the Bruins this year. His powerplay goal in the 2nd made it 3-0 and started planting seeds of doubt into the Bruins.

We should be talking about James Wisniewski, who added another powerplay goal to make it 4-0 and completely crush the spirit of the Bears. Sure the cage is still getting in the way but he's still a better defenceman with the cage on than Bergeron will ever be.

We should be talking about the dominating effort by the Habs, who played the way they always play against this team when they win instead of that gong show last game. We should be talking about Scott Gomez, who played like he saw the Stanley Cup waiting for him around the corner. We should be talking about Ryan White, who stood up for Subban and introduced his fists to Boychuk's face. We should be talking about Carey Price's 32nd win of the season and the Habs' 5th in a row. We should be talking about the strong defence, or how Brent Sopel hasn't been in a loss yet. We should be talking about Paul Mara.

Instead we're left talking about the ugly side of this sport. We're talking about an extra shove with 15 seconds remaining in the 2nd period that left Kevin Weekes thoroughly disgusted on NHLNetwork for how unnecessary it all was. This while Blob McKenzie gathers tweets from his colleagues to prove a point that he thinks it wasn't dirty. Funny that, 'cause I'm sure you could easily gather a collection of quotes on how various serial killers were "nice guys" too.

Carey Price said it best, that there's no excuse, they all know where they are on the rink. Especially a veteran like Chara. The man must be an idiot. And to come out (well he was hiding on the bus, but the Boston PR guys told him to come out) and basically blame the victim was as classless as can be. But don't worry, Chara. Damien Cox is blaming THE RINK! That's like running over a guy with your car then getting out to yell at the guy for hitting your windshield.

I'm sure Brad Marchand thought he was diving.

And there I was ready to credit the Bruins for keeping quiet in the 3rd and basically hoping it ends quickly when Lucic prodded Pouliot with 2 minutes left in the game and wanted to fight him while Horton smirked in Subban's face. (What an ugly fuck he is). You know what Bruins? Take you classless asses back to Beantown and drown in your chowdah. Even most of the Bruins fans were disgusted by Chara's actions tonight. They know. They've been through Marc Savard and Patrice Bergeron. (Bergeron acted more captainly than the giant petulant child post-game with his comments so kudos to him).

While Pacioretty spends a night at the Montreal General with his parents by his side, I hope Chara goes home and hugs his children and Blob McKenzie calls his son to see how he's doing with his hockey career. Tonight, Pacioretty could have had his neck broken on that divider. Tonight, Pacioretty's career could have ended.