Habs limped back onto the ice this morning for practice while the Leafs fired 38 blanks at Ryan Miller and still couldn't score on the Zen Master. Maybe they were afraid he'd insult their mothers? Either way, tomorrow will be a grand old time at the Bell Center, but I'll probably miss it because I get to go to the first meeting of our Condo council. Seriously, who decided to do this on a weekday? I'll get on the commitee to make sure they're on Sundays dammit! But I can probably guess what'll happen. Hooks! Hits! And Dives! But I'm sure the officials need some help. After all they seem to always miss the good ones. So here is the first Montreal Canadiens Officiating Game: Toronto Edition!
Call a penalty!
...2 minutes to Cammalleri for every lady that swoons after him as he skates by the camera.
...2 minutes to Mara for playing defence. Thou shalt not move people out of the crease in a semi-aggressive manner because you know it might frighten them.
...2 minutes to Pacioretty for playing the puck only to grab a front row seat on a perfect Triple Salchow over his stick.
...5 minutes to Chipchura for playing 5 minutes.
...2 minutes to Plekanec for crimes against faceoffs. Feel shame.
...10-minute misconduct to Sergei for attempting to punch Grabovski and a letter of warning from President Lukashenko plus a free trip to boot camp. If he actually punches him, give him a medal. Secretly.
...2, 10, and a toss to Moen for taking the puck and scoring a goal on his ass while being throw at the net by Komisarek. The toss is because Wilson objects to the fact his defenceman is a -3 by then.
...double minors to Pyatt and White for being actual successful hockey players that don't score goals but do everything else right.
...7-million minutes to Gomez until Gionta comes back.
...60 minutes to Hammer just because we want him to sit down and take a break.
...2 minutes to D'Agostini for the apostrophe on his jersey.
...5 and Major when Price gets run over and loses his mask. The 5 is for melting the ice and a major for being majorly cute.
...game misconduct to MAB for causing mass heart attacks across Habs Nation.