Habs 5, Canucks 2: Max scores a hat trick, is a bum

I'm kidding.

But if Pacioretty knew how to penalty shoot, he would have gotten FIVE goals last night. FIVE. I don't think anyone would have faulted him to go full Thornton on that.

As far as hat tricks go, probably his lamest. But we still love him.

Oh and another 42 saves from Price. Ho hum.

How I see Carey Price play behind this D.

One more til Sochi. Can Ryan White make it 3 in a row in getting a game star? I am happy to see Weise provide us with a proper fourth line. Unfortunately, Bournival is now hurt. SONUVABITCH!

Habs 4, Canucks 1: This recap slipped right through Luongo as well

This game. Words cannot describe it. So we'll throw them on bullet points!

- For the Habs, it was all Price and anything once over the Canucks blue line. Having the Sedins vs Diaz all night was enough to make me grey.
- Defensive zone was such a clusterfuck. Calmed down incredibly in the 3rd though.
- Yup. Markov paired with PK is the way it should be. He's so much quicker, so much at ease. He looks younger! Almost like he doesn't have to worry so much about his partner (Diaz). Who knew! (RE: Everyone).
- But of course we should remember that according to PJ Stock, Markov hates PK.
- Garrison had 10 shots out of the 40 the Canucks threw at Price. And by shots I mean cannonballs.
- There was a Carey Price cheering section, a Josh Gorges cheering section (his grandma!) and a Brendan Gallagher cheering section (his family minus his busy playing hockey little brother).
- The CAREY!CAREY!CAREY! were louder than the LOUUUUU.
- Dan Hamhuis was our best player.

Oops.

- Lars Eller is so good he doesn't even need to be on the ice to score.
- Though according to PJ Stock, Lars Eller turned over the puck on a Diaz crappy outlet pass because of that playoff hit. It must hurt for PJ to think.
- Therrien's reaction to Pacioretty getting a penalty shot was the best. I don't think I ever saw him that giddy.
- Meanwhile, the camera would focus directly on Torts every time something shitty happened to the Canucks. Same old "oy vey" look every time.
- On that penalty shot, Pacioretty did a good move, Luongo lucked out and had the puck bounce off his stick and away.
- Price too had the puck bounce off his stick. Shot was so hard his stick went flying out of his hands.
- Unfortunately it didn't maim Kesler, who's ass was directly in Price's nose all night.
- I can watch Tinordi toss Kesler out of Price's crease all night though.
- Richardson was tonight's recipient of the PK Subban Butt Check.
- Complaints about the lack of secondary scoring for the Canucks? Well, maybe you shouldn't have traded Hodgson for Kassian.
- Kassian was also extra invisible.
- And ugly.
- The Canucks were so far apparently perfect on the penalty kill. Went 1-for 3 tonight.
- Pacioretty's deflection walked through Luongo and Plekanec's lovely finish to a perfect tic-tac-toe play between Markov and Subban.
- Josh Gorges scored.
- I repeat Josh Gorges scored.
- Clean shot, no deflection, right over Luongo's shoulder for some tasty cakes.
- Luongo was pissed.
- Galchenyuk went off on a breakaway and got tripped by a Sedin twin who immediately bitched about it. The king of flailing his arms while falling on his ass was bitching about a clear penalty.
- As much as I'm happy how the Habs have played in Vancouver since that embarrassing suck fest a few years ago, I just can't stand watching the Crapnucks. Whiny bitches.
- Chris Higgins still shoots wide.
- I was hoping Vancouver would be what awakens Desharnais. The body is cold.
- He had some flashes but was still stone cold.
- Briere may as well not be on this team, honestly.
- Ryan White appeared to be our lead faceoff guy. Seemed like he was winning them all.
- Plekanec appears shocked to be playing between two really good hockey players. Every time Galchenyuk sends him a pass, the skill freaks him out.
- Eller should be double-shifted so he can play again with those kids...
- It's almost 2am and NHL's website still has the Leafs-Oilers pond hockey game up as their lead story. Doesn't even have the Habs game in the rotation either. Who needs you.

 If this team wins 4-1 every time they win, I'm good with that.

My mandatory Stanley Cup Final post

Fuck you, Bruins. Fuck you, Canucks. I hated you both and wished nothing more than your ultimate demise.

And Chara lifts the Cup after getting away with attempted murder. What a perfect representation of the NHL, kids!

Now we'll sit through a summer listening of how everyone should copy THIS model to win, just like how last year it was all "Chicago's model is how it works!" and previously it was Pittsburgh, Detroit... This year's model also requires the League in your pocket. Does Brendan Shanahan have a kid in the NHL yet?

Be prepared for year of seeing that shaved gorilla lift the Cup on HNIC's opening. Frankly now I really refuse to watch CBC for my hockey.


Flashback: It's apparently 1994 again. I had a bad feeling this would happen.


In other news, the logo I made for a colleague's hockey team was printed. I got my own as payment today. We used the Islanders' jersey because the Flyer's one was on major backorder.

Freaks 3, No-Names 2: Pucking superb

Yes they shit the bed against the Sabres, and previously the Islanders (but considering the Islanders have lambasted a few teams right around that time, losing in a shootout isn't so bad).

Yes they were on the Moon in Edmonton 'cause lord knows it's probably better, comfier, and warmer than Edmonton.

And yes they pissed off their entire fanbase by not showing up in an outdoor pond hockey contest where the old timers put on a better show on worse ice.

However like they always do when you least expect them to, they walk into Vancouver with half the world preparing for a slaughter, and the cocky Canuckians licking their lips at the thought, only to score two in the first to walk out with a 3-2 victory in a place they haven't won in 10 years. I'm just happy they didn't embarrass poor Carey in front of his family again. Yea they gave up two powerplay goals, and could have easily killed them if Hamr was facing the right way or if they didn't allow that much space for the point man to shoot but whatever. It was a solid team win. And we finally saw Pouliot benched for gross stupidity!

On notice:
- For the record, I had a really good feeling about this one. I believed they would bring it. So glad I wasn't left tired and disappointed.
- No names on the jersey, while retro, is now annoying.
- Finally West Coast Habs fans can cheer them live and happily.
- Those two early goals were scored by the smallest men on the ice. Desharnais was siiiiiiiiiiick.
- For very big men, the Canucks sure fall down easily. (What a bunch of divers).
- Classic AK46 goal ends with classic AK46 victory: flat on his back with his limbs in the air.
- I have more gray hairs thanks to Roman Hamrlik. You're killing me, man...
- Hal Gill's reach to preserve the lead right near the end, get an icing call, and propose marriage to me through the TV (I won't tell your wife *wink*!)
- Could have done without the many views of Alain Vigneault gnawing his gum and staring incredulously in various directions, usually at refs even though they got away with pretty much everything.
- Simon Pegg was there. His first NHL game. He was left in awe from the skill and called it pucking superb. Sadly he was watching with Tom Cruise.
- No walls were punched this year.
- In case you haven't noticed, I really hate the Canucks...

Price has 6 shutouts and 28 wins, but this was the only game puck he wanted. Mara got it for him. He was also the first star.

Come on home, boys. Yes it's 2-out-of-6 points but you kept pace with those behind you anyway. And you're clear for drinking 'til 2am if this is the result it brings. (I could have sworn Guy Lafleur played better hung over anyway). Maybe they'll get thrown off the plane like the Russian World Juniors?

Nicholas Courtney 1929-2011

Sadly, Nicholas Courtney, better known as our beloved UNIT leader Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart, died today at 81. He was THE man. Deadpan in the face of many alien invasions and just once wished they weren't all immune to bullets, he was the Doctor's best friend. His voice was like silk. There was just something superbly charming about him...even when he put on the eye patch to be Evil Brigadier in an alternate universe. When you play a character that long, you pretty much become that character. I will miss you, Brigadier.

Habs 2, Canucks 0: Priceberg!

My heart has only now just returned to normal.

Seriously, if you don't like that happy little song you have no soul. Excuse me while I happy dance to the tune of my childhood (watched it every time we went to visit my Bubby Betty) and my goalie.

Even Chris Lee didn't fuck this one up for once!

Last year, Price was abandoned in Vancouver and shellacked for 7 goals. The guys owed him this one. He wanted it. They knew it. And through my heart attack I nearly cried at how together they were tonight. He also tried to hit the empty net but ran out of time. One shorter Canuck and a few seconds more, and that would have been gold.

Bold and Glorious Victory Points!
- Our ambassador for the evening: PK Subban says welcome to Montreal with a thunderous check. Boom.
- I'm still a little miffed about the lines, Coach...but Lappy looked almost like PlayoffLappy, Cammy's old self returned in the 3rd (and came close), Gio was a buzzing gnat, Gomez was fierce on everything but passing and 9-12 on faceoffs.
- Creppy Twin #1 was 2-15 in the faceoff dot.
- Tip my hat to Ye Olde Czech Defence who kept the creepy twins in check, surprisingly enough. And only two penalties between them.
- You know he's on when you feel him punching you in the back. Price beat up anyone in his face whether friend or foe. I love it when he does that. Also seemed to keep them away from his net as the game went on.
- Only one line gave the Habs real fits and it's their own version of the PhD line (the one with Malhotra). Not shocking considering they've been the best forwards for the Canucks lately.
- Ferocious penalty kill against the League's best powerplay. Gap control was solid, Pleky was Pleky, BabyPyatt wanted them to remember his last name, Gill didn't obstruct Price, and Halpern was just unbelievable.
- Can we just give PK the puck and watch him skate through everyone? I never get tired of that.
- The PhD line didn't score but they were fierce. Darche threw his weight around regardless of the weird penalty they called him for. Pouliot utilized his long stick and speed. I already mentioned Halpern.
- Eller! Came close again and was a ferocious forechecker. Maybe he can develop into our EuroStaal? The line is Eller-Pyatt-Moen with is the Habs equivalent to the Bulldogs' Avtsin-Engqvist-Conboy line. The creator, the defensive specialist, and the bodyguard. And while he was limited in the 3rd, it's not a problem. Martin is just protecting him. Perhaps Pacioretty's comment opened his eyes.
- Markov is aaaaaaaaaaaaalmost back!
- Regardless of outshooting the Canucks somehow for half the game, I forgot what Luongo looked like so I'm not entirely sure how they were outshooting the Canucks then. And yes, on a 4 minute powerplay, the Habs were outshot and gave up a 3-on-1 where Price needed to be gigantic...
- Thankfully they scored a powerplay goal thanks to the DoG penalty. O'Byrne smiled somewhere.
- The sequence with the empty net needs to be rewatched. And that's a Stanley Cup Caliber winning save.
- I'm all for the cause, but damn...those Movember 'staches are nasty, boys. I'm not a fan of facial hair.

This is what I like to see. Huge win.