Habs 2, Sens 3 (OT): We who are about to die salute you

Dear Lord, why do you hate us?

I'm crying here. I'm seriously crying here.

Spending a Saturday afternoon watching our Habs try to be the Devils after Martin said he wanted them to be more aggressive (if that's his idea of aggressive...) wasn't really ideal. We can't score 5-on-5 anymore, but the Eastern Justice (the powerplay) brought this to OT at least courtesy of Pleky banking one off Pouliot and Gio being sneaky. We were happily cheering small victories like Rhino destroying Michalek clean, Sergei knocking down Sputza, and Pouliot breaking the rink with Karlsson. And then Volchenkov collided with Cammalleri, knee on knee, and our world got rocked.

Watching him try to get up but couldn't... Watching Sergei and a trainer drag him off, unable to put weight on his right knee... I died. I seriously died inside.

And with the 1 point, the Habs were sent back into 8th. For now.

This happens the day before a bunch of lucky fans get to skate with the Habs, a treat Cammy would have loved. Instead, he hobbled out of Kanata with an inflatable leg cast and crutches.

Right now as it stands, and if Cammy is out with an MCL, I pray Bob doesn't do anything stupid like trade our prospects for a quick fix attempt to patch up the hole by Pleky's side. This season isn't worth losing prospects over to save regardless of the chance a .500 team has. I suspect he'll check the waiver wire, like Philly did for a cheap bandaid... But right now, the best most sensible option would be to call up a guy like Brock Trotter to finally let him have a taste of the NHL. Why Trotter? He's the same size and style as Cammy, obviously not as experienced, but when I think of who would best fit in that mold, I think Brrrrrock Trotter.

Also as cliché as it sounds, there's a handful of players that need to seriously step the fuck up. Gomez and Pouliot have been doing great (though keep your stick on the ice and tip in some goals 5-on-5, Benny), Gio's been doing ok, Pleky's been outstanding, but after that? Metro's line has to do something. Lapierre needs to be that "most improved forward" again. Someone, by the holy ghost of Howie Morenz, can someone please finish Sergei's beautiful passes?! Moen is a lion but some dirty goals would be nice. And the defence has to seriously do something other than shovel pucks to the corners or annoy our goalies. Markov? Third time he was there for the OT goal. Is he going to yell at himself in the mirror now? Certainly can't yell at Jaro for that. Gorges? Needs to fucking AIM. Bergeron? Has to stop failing and start scoring. (With all the pucks he has sent into player's shinpads, I'm shocked Foligno's is the first broken leg). Hammer could start scoring like we know he's capable of. Gill too.

The goalies just gotta continue doing what they're doing.

So keep the faith Habs fans. Light a candle for Cammy's health. And maybe the Gods will send us Nino Niederreiter in June?

A double dose of drinks: trade you for some wine?

The other night I was over at my parent's house 'cause mom bought way too much meat and made beer stew for us all. While there I watched my brother play some NHL10, with his bizarro future Habs team. Apparently in 2011 or something like that Rick Nash and Cal Clutterbuck will be Montreal Canadiens, with Nash on a line with Cammy and Gio. I was in seventh heaven. We laughed as he destroyed the Maple Leafs in Round 1 of the playoffs, who had Lecavalier on their top line and Marty Turco in nets (who would probably prefer death to netminding for the Leafs).

Too bad Bob couldn't wrangle Clutterbuck out of the Wild for Guimauve instead of Pouliot! (Yea, this guy).

Funny how things work out though. If the Wild didn't pick before us, we would have this guy failing away and would not have Price. Now we have both. Here's hoping he can get his act together (once his hand heals).

And to all those who say Gui was mismanaged... Please. When he was on the team, he was too young for Hamilton, too old for junior, too big to pass up on a small team, and a local hero. While scoring at will is not uncommon in the Q, he failed to adapt to the NHL and follow the recommendations of his coach and his teammates. I mean, how hard is it to park your ass in front of the net after telling us about it every day? They were overly patient with him, and gave him every opportunity on every line, but he either couldn't keep up with the better skaters or ran off to the corners instead of Holmstroming the goalie. Even Marc Denis told him to go there! (He did it once, in preseason). He suffered from the Mike Ribeiro Syndrome of hyped up by the local press, worshiped by RDS, and could do no wrong in their eyes. Now that he's gone, he'll probably follow the same path as Ribeiro, unless he really is a complete idiot. Like Ribeiro, he won't have the local media protecting him anymore. If he wants to stay in the NHL he'll have to wake up.

What an exciting Monday! Guimauve gone, Pouliot nursing his tender hand before a trip back to the farm, Big Georges' suspended for 5 games, and the best two news pieces of the day: Sergei's back! And Price was given the second star of the week by the NHL for his job well done!

Now my only problem is deciding what to do with my Latendresse 84 shirt. Perhaps it'll go off to charity.

Habs have bigger problems over deciding what to do with a t-shirt though. It's another back-to-back game. Seriously. What the fuck is up with this schedule? Fucking Olympics! So I present to you a double dose of booze, the Montreal Canadiens Drinking Game: Columbus and Pittsburgh Edition!

DRINK!
...every time RDS angrily defends Guimauve, and call Gainey a dumbass (in polite TV terms) for trading his fat ass to the Wild where he will no doubt rip it up (maybe).

...for every Guimauve highlight reel played.

...every time you see Umberger. Then smash your glass and yell "FUCKING UMBERGER!!!"

...when they talk about the Olympics and how Mason is having one heck of a sophomore slump right now.

...when they talk about the Olympics and RDS makes the case for MAF to be the starter. Take another swig as he fucks up behind his net and almost assists on a goal in his own net.

...once for every "I don't know what Jacques Martin is thinking" moments, as MAB or the 4th line is caught on the ice at the same time as Rick Nash or Crosby/Malkin.

...if, after stinking up the joint in New York, the Blue Jackets come out looking like the fucking Stanley Cup Champions.

...as you spot Orpik lining up to destroy/injure anyone. Start crying if it's Pleky or Cammy. Cheer him on if it's MAB. (I joke! ...maybe).

...as Martin decides to use Price for Columbus and Halak for Pittsburgh. (Can he get it right? We'll find out tomorrow)!

...and wonder how the powerplay could be so poopy.

...and wonder why the Habs play so much better when shorthanded.

The Montreal Canadiens Drinking Game: Washington Edition

That man is a Habs fan. Piss him off at your own peril.

The date: Friday, November 19th, 2009.

The place: District of Columbia.

The doomsdayers have entered their bunkers with their canned goods and bottles of water. But that's ok. Hopefully if/when the world ends and they've somehow passed on for no reason, we'll be able to find their hideaways and take their canned peaches while taking a break from walking the road.

Rhino is in. Supposedly.

Carle was sent down.

Stewart was sent down for conditioning because he sat on his ass for over a month.

Price is stoked.

We're still crying over Gionta.

And because bunkers are for wusses, here's the latest Montreal Canadiens Drinking Game: Washington Edition!

Drink!
...whenever they mention Varlamov for the Calder.

...whenever Gorges crashes into Price. Hold your breath first to make sure they both come out of the collision uninjured.

...while Laraque chugs down the ice. Drink happily if he actually scores a goal or assists on one.

...as Benoit Brunet laughs at Andrei Kostitsyn. Then smash your glass.

...if Ovechkin scores some rediculous goal that shouldn't have been allowed because he either tripped, interfered, or held whoever was trying to stop him. Drink furiously when they replay it on Sports Center during their top 10.

...whenever MAB is on the ice the same time as Ovechkin. And start crying.

...for every powerplay opportunity that goes nowhere.

...drink some extra smooth brew for Pricey if they're hanging him out to dry again.

...as Gionta is injured, don't stop drinking.

...every time Spacek and/or Hammer winces.

...when Francois Gagnon is on during intermission to blot out his opinions mistaken for facts.

...every time Pleky is desperately trying to win the game for the team with no wingers.

...if the shot clock is grossly in favour of the Capitals by the first 10 minutes.

...take a swig for every angry face Martin puts on. There may be many!

The Montreal Canadiens Drinking Game: Boston Edition

Habs play Boston tomorrow. Oddly enough Boston and Montreal are like two peas in a pod this year. Injuries up the wazoo, almost the same record in the win/loses column. Only difference is the Booins were shutout two games in a row. But you know what they say about our Habs! When you're in a slump or need a win, Habs are happy to help. And while they might have focused on defence today in practice, unless the D has an epiphany, I'm not very optimistic. Though defensive minded Rrrrryan White was called up (yay, Chipper's got a linemate) along with the hard working two-way center/wingman Tommy Pyatt.

But I never thought I'd say this... I MISS HAL GILL!

So to alleviate the pain, I propose the Montreal Canadiens Drinking Game: Boston Edition!

Drink!
...every time Guimauve tries a wrap around and fails.

...as Andrei Kostitsyn (if he's playing) attempts a play, loses the puck, and gives up.

...for every "miraculous" save Tim Thomas (if he's playing, Rask > Thomas) makes by just throwing his body in the general direction and prays he made a save. Take another one if the announcer makes it better than it actually was.

...one for every second it takes for Hammer to finally release the puck on a shot. Take an extra swig if it's a backdoor play on an empty net and ends up going wide. Watch those seconds tick away...

...every time MAB is on the ice. Drink furiously.

...if Jaro's in goal, drink every time he leaves his net.

...bonus drink for every goal post he gets.

...if Price is in nets, drink every time MAB positions himself in front of the net.

...drink furiously if he's being hung out to dry again.

...vomit when MAB fails to shoot from the blue line and falls over causing a breakaway.

...if we win a faceoff but lose the puck right after.

...if Gionta really is injured, keep drinking for weeks.

...if someone mentions the "Bob called Chelios" rumor during the game while the D is sucking goats.

...if there's a Steve Begin love-fest.

...keep drinking over all the Bergeron/Savard/Coach Julien love-in from RDS. Don't stop when they show their nightly Guimauve highlight reel of nothing.