"This is how much I love you. And that's being generous."Rejoice for Winnipeg returns!
And one glorious powerpoint presentation on ticket prices showing comparables to other Canadian markets later, the team was officially Winnie's. The richest man in Canada has his team, the Moose are off to Newfoundland (wtf?) and the Canucks need a new farm team. We (and by "we" I mean the one person writing this blog) found the official transcript of the real script Gary Bettman was going to recite at the press conference this afternoon (or slightly earlier by Central time) but was quickly, and quietly, and politely asked to change it before he was able to present it to the Winnipeg faithful, the citizens of Canada, and anyone else who cared to listen. (Which by my count, "Winnipeg and the rest of Canada" pretty much covers it).
Take it away, Gary!
"Fuck you Atlanta and your useless corporate tools who didn't BOW to my feet or kiss the ground I walked on. Same goes for your politicians who apparently have more of a brain than those tools in Arizona I managed to extort millions out of. This isn't your fans fault, if I can call them "fans". More like digitally copy-pasted crowds to give the world the illusion there was actually a crowd in that rink. Fuck your GM who traded away the god given talent I so graciously provided him with in the lottery pick. He even made the man your CAPTAIN? Can you believe that joke? Fuck you Canada. Only reason why I came is to belittle you and mock you, then threaten you with immediate relocation if this building isn't sold out. I mean I had MANY interested parties in other cities like Seattle if they built an arena, or Kansas City if they had an owner for that rink-turned-bait shop. What? Full capacity here is more than what Atlanta ever had? Don't talk to me about Phoenix. We're so over that for another year at least. And who the fuck told me Winnipeg was cold? I'm dying here! Oh Christ who let in the RDS guy... NO WE'RE NOT BRINGING A TEAM TO QUEBEC CITY. EVER. Now piss off. I'm late for my hot yoga."
Yea fuck you too Gary, you condescending prick.
So...The Winnipeg Threshers?