Habs 2, Sabres 3 (OT): I am in NO mood to take this right now

We're having a shit-ton of snow right now, which is WONDERFUL. I'm serious, I'm happy. I love snow. What I hate though? I have a dog in one arm ('cause the German Shepherd was in the parking lot and Toaster flips out when he sees her) and I'm getting my bags out of the car with my other, and then I close my door and POOF my car keys disappeared. (I had already locked the doors). I pushed the snow out of the way all over, I turned my car inside out, I dumped all my bags contents on the floor, I checked everywhere: Nothing. Thankfully living near my parents who have a spare key has it's perks, but holy shit my day just went from a pretty meh of a good-ish day to FUCK YOU UNIVERSE DIE EVERYONE. And Toaster wouldn't shut up until he finally realized how pissed off I was and I didn't need him barking in my face to throw his fucking ball.

And of course the Habs are playing like they're still guzzling all the Guinness left over from the St. Patrick's Day festivities and losing to the Sabres 2-0 and looking like they couldn't give two shits of a damn.

With the loss of my keys I'm in no mood to recap this shit fully. So, Habs missed FORTY SEVEN times. Steve Ott is fuckhead and someone should have punched him on his game winner in OT when he fell on Price right after. Someone should have punched Markov and told him HE DIDN'T NEED TO PLAY THE WHOLE PK IN OT, especially with the effort of a wet noodle. Gallagher is the real MVP. Lars Eller should be cloned so he could play all game. Colby Armstrong has enough games left to get 20 goals. Accountability apparently doesn't apply to Desharnais and I'm already pissed off with that contract if he's going to be lazy defensively and spread that laziness to Pacioretty. And what a bullshit phantom penalty call on PK, especially after not calling blatant shit like when Eller dragged someone down the length of the ice like he's a fucking sled.

Good thing I have chocolate, or this news that Bouillon's agent has spoken to Bergevin about extending his contract an extra year that just showed up on my timeline would have made me punch walls...

Missed 47 times.

Jhonas Enroth must have sprayed himself with Old Spice Hawkridge.

Habs just lucky the Jets beat the Bruins in regulation. Habs still first in the Northeast. Yay lose point.

PS. I now found the keys buried in the ice in the parking lot. But then Bergevin extended Cube's contract. WHY? Couldn't wait til fucking Summer and see if maybe someone else out there was available? Unless you trade him for Hal Gill to fix the shit penalty kill...

Habs 1, Bolts 4: Too many men on the ice...

...is just another way to say the "Montreal Canadiens".

Welcome to the team, Wisniewski. Bet you probably wished you were back in Long Island.

Ever see a team of guys who's minds go completely blank the moment they cross either blueline? Fire Jacques Martin, and Perry Pearn too for gross stupidity. Should have done it to counter Tampa Bay's offer to Guy Boucher.

Wonder if Martin St. Louis found Stamkos' penalty shot disrespectful? (Never mind the wimpy little hook he got never stopped him from shooting on net in the first place, which he did twice. A penalty? Maybe. A penalty shot? No fucking way).

Be sure to cancel practice again, Coach, because that did wonders.

Habs 5, Oilers 4 (SO): Why must you make things so difficult...?

Yea, we've LOST better games than this...

Also hilarious how Jaro can have probably his worst performance of the year, yet still manages a win. Everything is cool eh? Win and you're in? You know in the shootout you're never supposed to make the first move? (Callers still called in to rip Price for some reason... Guess they didn't like his hat).

Tweet of the night to sum it up: @SmilingGainey I'd like to thank the Edmonton Oilers and their storm trooper aim.

THIS WASN'T THE WASHINGTON CAPITALS!!!1

The only good story of the night was Sergei Kostitsyn! His line was absolutely all over the Oilers. He ended the night with a goal and an assist, drew penalties and finished with the 1st star. Moen got a goal (wow, been a while since he greased one in) and Moore picked up an assist. All three contributed to strong play in the gritty areas. Of course, no matter what he does, for some reason, Martin refuses to use SK74 on the powerplay (pssssst 0-for-a-zillion against the OILERS).

But nevermind this game of fail where even the refs forgot about the rule where a penalized player in OT cannot participate in the shootout (or did they change that 'cause what if Ovechkin trips someone in OT eh, nevermind how sucky he is at shootouts). This night was ultimately destroyed by the TWO MORONS WITH SUBBANATOR JERSEYS AND BLACKFACE WITH BIG FROS!

How did these people get into the Bell Center? I sure hope they didn't walk down the street like that...and if they did, why did no one question them? Did they get into the Bell Center, and like the girls at school, change in the bathroom? How did no one notice or punch them? I've seen fights at the Bell Center started by absolutely nothing...and this doesn't even twitch a nose hair? The people sitting around them didn't even part like the Dead Sea and call security. And now RDS even put them on TV to the very lost and confused comments of Pierre et Benoit who basically said "uh...what are we looking at here..." in rather uncomfortable undertones. Soon to be lambasted on a Puck Daddy near you eh?

Congrats you blackface idiots. Between you and the kid behind me in preseason who refered to PK as "le p'tit noir la", you have just embarrassed a proud organization, fellow fans, and our city. Right up there with the New Year's Eve show on some French station that had the very unfunny disgusting joke about how easy it would be to assassinate Obama because it'll be easy to see him in front of the White House? Yea, RIGHT up there. But c'est bien normal in this Province to equate humour with racist remarks and then act shocked when people get upset...

Gonna insult the Jews next time when Cammy comes back, maybe?

Oh-for-Florida

I bet this little guy could make a better game plan...

"Look how stationary the Canadiens penalty killers are. No one is attacking the puck. Downie could just walk out in front and take a shot if he wanted to."

If you wanted one sentence to describe tonight's game, that was it.

Turnovers.

Unable to finish.

Unable to skate.

Unable to deal with a hard, fast skating team.

Unable to deal with forechecking.

Niittymaki had nothing serious to save tonight.

How do you allow Downie and St. Louis to go at your net as they please leaving Price lunging every which way to follow their pass-and-go and try to stop that?

How do you stand around and stare at an opposing player waltz around, and all your goalie sees is your fat ass in his face, while you act like you don't give a damn about the puck?

Hey Lapierre, nice to see you on the PK, but you forgot about STAMKOS.

And Slippy playing D against the Stamkos/St. Louis line = WTF Jacques?!

Apparently Coach Martini wanted his team to force the Lightning to play defence. Well, I saw them play defence. Way better defence than our team. Everyone was pushed to the outside, forcing turnovers for the wrong team, causing havoc in front of the wrong net. But we all know forechecking teams give the Habs trouble. That's why I said the Devils game wasn't much of a measuring stick. And the Rags are just terrible.

They weren't scored on by the dregs of the Lightning either... We're talking St.Louis, Lecavalier, and Stamkos. This isn't the Florida Panthers, and we saw how that went yesterday. The only difference is Price doesn't allow 5 rebound chances for every shot, but the Bolts still managed 30. I don't even remember how the Habs got to 33 shots. I think I can remember 5... And 11:26 was the only time they had any inkling of a drive to try and score but that was in the 3rd period.

As Bob Mackenzie said, don't lump this on Price. He made some crazy hard saves for a guy who's in cold behind a back-to-back team that probably spent too much time on the beach. "The Canadiens were a no show".

However, they were a no show for the 2nd time in a row. And that is troubling, Coach. Shut out for the 5th time this year. I dare say...bring back Carbo?

And the frustration can be summed up by Price slamming his stick on the ice as he watched his team turnover some more and run around in circles. It was an attempt to say "hey guys, DO SOMETHING". And if Markov questions his heart once more, maybe someone should get into Markov's face and ask him if his heart is on the CH right now or if he's thinking about the Olympics, because from my vantage point Mr. MVP has turned over the puck as many times as Slippy and has found himself caught on the wrong end of a pinch way too many times these past horrible games.

TSN also claimed tonight's game looked a lot like that Edmonton-Chicago game last night. You get three guesses who looked like the Oilers, and the first two don't count.

Kicking kittens: Habs 2, Rags 6000

The seething anger over yesterday's epic fail just got dealt a new one. After actually taking advantage of the Ranger's shitfest and jumping up 2-0 before the 1st period ended, we were all amazed that there was actually a team that managed to look worse than the Habs.

Of course this went a complete 180 from the second period on as the Rangers stomped on our heads and pissed on our rotting corpses for 6 brutally unanswered goals including one weaksauce shortie. (At least yesterday's was a killer shot...)

It was an epic failure of grandiose proportions. One I have not seen since Patrick Roy told his boss he's fucking out of here.

But I'm taking a deep breath.

I made some chocolate chip cornmeal muffins, and they're delicious.


Also my mind is blown at the trade rumor on RDS with Dallas: MARTY TURCO for Jaro. Excuse me while I try not to get excited about this, as it's just a rumor. (No, I'm not being sarcastic... I love the guy!) Though after watching these past two games, I'd say Turco and Robidas for Jaro and maybe Dagger. We need defence..........

And someone needs to lock Slippy into the trunk of a car previously occupied by Breezer. Dump it on Mars or something.