"Top 10 Ways" is sad Habs are out but happy with the draft pick

Usually around this time I'd post a Top 10 Ways the Habs could win a series. Now that they're out, there isn't anything I can top 10 about... Top 10 Ways Gary Bettman Can Screw the Habs of a High Pick? Top 10 Ways Brian Burke Will Make It All About Him? I'm just not all that in to it. Like Erik Cole, I'm sad there are no playoffs.

So I guess I'll look at the actual first round match ups and give my opinions. Hey, NHLN has to fill 3 days of that shit. I got nothing else to do until the draft lottery tomorrow. Also I'm keeping them short because other than the Blackhawks I really couldn't give a crap about any series.

IN THE EAST!
New York Rangers (1) VS. Ottawa Senators (8)
Ottawa will find out if Craig Anderson is really just a Patrick Lalime Redux. And maybe Henrik Lundqvist will get some support to win a series? Senators are boring. Rangers block shots to death. I might sleep through this one until Ryan Callahan gets bored and runs someone under the tag "leadership". Taking the term #ShitDenisPotvinSays to epic levels.

Boston Bruins (2) VS. Washington Capitals (7)
I will be very disappointed in Caps fans if those cutout Obama facemasks on sticks things Vancouver fans carry around don't show up. This is also where I wished Jason Chimera really was a fire-breathing lion-goat-snake thing. Watch out for Andrew Ference's wardrobe malfunctions.

Florida Panthers (3) VS. New Jersey Devils (6)
Dull. Boring. Don't give a fuck. Also will this even be on TV when it goes to Florida? And will they have upgraded their cameras from "some dude in the 10th row with an iPhone" to an actual TV camera or two? Crazy prediction: some way some how they'll manage to take each game to a shootout even though there are no shootouts in the playoffs. THEY'LL FIND A WAY!

Pittsburgh Penguins (4) VS. Philadelphia Flyers (5)
Hopefully they'll destroy each other.

IN THE WEST!
Vancouver Canucks (1) VS. Los Angeles Kings (8)
Maybe the Kings will score some goals so they won't get shutout/swept in 4?

St. Louis Blues (2) VS. San Jose Sharks (7)
Ken Hitchcock's hermetic hockey up against Antti Niemi? Haha good luck with that, Sharks. Guessing Joe Thornton concussing David Perron will be the only storyline in this one. Yawn.

Phoenix Coyotes (3) VS. Chicago Blackhawks (6)
THROW THE SNAKE! Hawks in 6. They don't have Chris Campoli fucking up anymore.

Nashville Predators (4) VS. Detroit Red Wings (5)
Mustard vs Ketchup. Turn down the brightness on your TV. Preds are bringing SUNSHINE. Please return Andrei once you're done with him, thanks.

Habs 3, Flyers 4: HBO can shove it

Chris Lee. Absolute douchetard.

Calls back a goal because in his view Cole obstructed Bob when he barely breathed on him. Refuses to call back TWO Flyers goals that had more obstruction on Price (with the Simmonds goal being absolute fallacy) than a punch in the face. Refs who guess get it wrong every time. When Price can perfectly recite to Chris Lee what Simmonds had for dinner, he's in the fucking crease on top of him. And calling what was barely brushing a stick on the back of a helmet while NOT calling the face full of stickblade Emelin got right in front of him was unbelievable. He called a hook, while not calling what should have been two penalties because the Flyers threw the puck into the netting (again). And don't get me started on Talbot putting his hand on the puck in the crease...

I hope HBO thanks him for providing them with so much insight into the stupidity and absurdity that is the NHL referee. We wanted hockey, not you.

I wish I could talk happily about Louis Leblanc's first NHL goal to tie up a very trying game, or that Mike Blunden got an assist on it for parking his ass in front of the net. But then Louis barely had 5 minutes of ice time all game, and barely sniffed the ice surface in the 3rd period. Imagine if he had like 10 or 15 minutes of ice time? I wish I could say Cole-DD-Patches are an amazing line, but key situations found Cammy and Pleky out there instead. Hey it's OK, why would we want to score goals? (Speaking of little DD... he's basically jumping over Pleky on the depth chart here).

So JMart came out and blamed the youth when his veterans were -2. It's kind of like when he was ready to bench Emelin again if Diaz wasn't sick...

Face it, man. You got outcoached. You didn't play planning to win, you played to contain. Meanwhile the Flyers ran all over the Habs' zone, constantly drove the net, and constantly pulled a set backdoor play they succeeded on once to open the scoring. It looked like they were trying to play that same old stupid wait-to-counter system, only to end up watching dumbfounded. As for forechecking? One man in. All the fucking time. No support, no help, always hanging back. I don't know how many times Eller looks up with the puck only to find himself alone and surrounded by 4 enemy jerseys but I'm getting sick of seeing it. And I loved seeing Eller rip the puck off of Jagr's stick all night, but for crying out loud, there is no set up for him to follow through with that. Just dump and hope someone gets it.

Shockingly enough they didn't give up the empty netter. So I guess they left with some dignity...