You can't fire me! I'm a Bond Villain!
News broke while I was either doodling in my sketchbook late last night or zonked out because the doodling kicked my insomnia to the curb, but either way, after basically leaving the first period down 4-0 to the Bingo Sens Starring Daniel Alfredsson I just knew Guy Boucher was going to be fired.
Ok, truth be told we all though it was after that Toronto game. Or maybe that other game the week before that one. Y'know, the one. No the other one. Maybe it's that one? Nope I was pretty sure it was THAT one THERE.
But you get the point right.
Derp. Derp Derp.
(Too be fair, that was a shit sequence by the refs. A dive, no call on icing, and a follow through high stick)
Then Bob Mckenzie dropped this Tweet. "Key vet TB players were shutting down/tuning out. Yzerman much rather would've liked to assess at season's end, but problem was snowballing."
Yes, snowballing. More like Sisyphus attempting to roll a boulder up a hill only to watch it roll all the way back down. Then repeating the attempt to roll back up with the same end results. Those veterans sure like to tune out their coaches in Tampa eh? But I wonder why? I mean they have Stamkos! And...Stamkos.
Let's play some Tampa Bay Lightning trivia to understand why Guy Boucher was inevitably hoisted upon the team's petard!
With the retirement of the last "great" old goalie they managed to bank a season on, the Lightning were in search of a younger starter. Who did they pick?
a) Mike Smith.
b) Jonathan Bernier.
c) Anders Lindbäck.
d) A draft pick stuck in Russia for probably another year.
If you answered "c", you get the joy of listening to Pierre McGuire tell you the story of how Lindback and Jacob Markström were just too big to fit in their one Swedish town. Again.
Sami Salo is:
a) One shot away from another 4-6 weeks/months on the injured reserve.
b) Not a Canuck?
c) Old.
d) All of the above.
If you answered "d", you get a giant cardboard cutout of Victor Hedman's face.
What part did Vincent Lecavalier injure this month?
a) Head.
b) Shoulder.
c) Wrist.
d) Broken foot.
If you picked "broken foot", you get a triple low five!What is "Mattias Ohlund"?
a) Injured knee.
b) Having knee surgeries.
c) Out indefinitely.
d) All of the above.
Indeed "d" is the winner! You get his locker room nameplate, because I'm petty sure he's not going to need it.
Who are the Lightning currently losing to?
a) Winnipeg Jets.
b) Washington Capitals.
c) Binghamton Senators.
d) Florida Gulf Coast.
Indeed it's their divisional rivals, the Winnipeg Jets. You win the tantrum Pierre McGuire threw when the Habs fired Jacques Martin the morning of a game (to not even a divisional rival), which I'm sure he'll repeat for his friend Steve Y. Right? Right.
DUN DUN DUN!
BREAKING NEWS!
The Lightning have hired their AHL coach, Jon Cooper. So basically they replaced Guy Boucher with...slightly more flexible Guy Boucher. Because if the first hot rising star coach didn't work, try the second.