Trade DEADline

This is what I think of Trade Deadline Day so fuck y'all.

Also THANK GOD Gauthier is smart enough not to trade Tinordi and a bunch of firsts for that lazy soft pillow in Dustin Penner. I'm thinking that stupid Oil Change show has gone to Tambellini's head.

To those of you sarcastically wooping up the trade for Drew MacIntyre, you obviously don't give a damn or realize the Habs have an obligation to take care of the Hamilton Bulldogs too. Sanford is injured. Again. They can't rely on Mayer and Delmas forever.

I'm also happy AK46, who has done everything this team has told him to do, is still here especially now that Eller is his new partner! Gauthier's words of support for the Belamullet warmed my heart. So in your fat face, Randy Tieman.

Habs 4, Whalercanes 3: PUPPIES AND RAINBOWS

And CBC is in mourning. Especially after this ridiculous article. They even got a Hamlet quote! And the "Big Grabovski? Vomit. Only thing big is his ego. I mean they quickly switch to the 5-5 game between the Leafs and Pens mere SECONDS after the guys went to give Auld a big victory hug. There's a good chunk of time left in the 3rd and they're already salivating at the two points the Leafs will get even though they didn't win yet and didn't win in the end anyway (Hi Kovy!).

Makes me ill. Have we all not learned the pattern? Hi, I'm the Leafs! I plan the parade in October, suck balls for most of the season, then win a bunch near the end and cause my delusional fanbase to dream of playoffs that'll most likely never come.

Even when they're not playing something about the Leafs has to be said for no reason other than shoving them further down our throats. This is why most of Canada HATES them.

And we hate the diving Whalercanes just as much:
- While at the Bulldogs game, we glanced at the scoreboard and saw Carolina beating the Penguins. My brother growled that he wished someone would take out EStaal, give him a taste of his own medicine because he's a "diving whiny cheapshot puke" (actual quote!). Well no one took him out but he managed to run into Niskanen and take himself out, so thank my brother for this one. He HATES EStaal very, very much.
- Sopel looking snazzy in a Habs jersey. Probably his best fit since his Blackhawks suit.
- Price in a warm tuque with a towel for a scarf looking mighty green by the bench. I was hoping he'd leave Gargamel a present on his shoe. (Looked even worse when he went out on the ice to congratulate everyone. OK back to bed for you, kid).
- It was "roll up those socks and win" day. Sure Auld isn't Price, but that doesn't prevent them from scoring goals so SCORE.
- And they kill off a 4 minute powerplay to start off the game. It was awesome.
- The goal given up right after, not so much. Auld, please don't play the puck if you're going to do that...
- But Cammy is scoring again! The Number Line of 13-14-15 is surprisingly very effective.
- Rejoice! For Eller finally has a winger! That goal was courtesy of AK46. Signed, sealed, and delivered.
- No matter what happened, RDS' camera was constantly fixed on Jerome Samson. They probably followed him to the airport after the game with a full report and video.
- So like what rock did Cory Stillman crawl out from under?
- Awesome goal by Pleky for his 20th though Cam Ward might want that one back. He's an All Star!
- It took PK getting spun like a top in full grapple mode by Skinner to get a fucking penalty call.
- And of course with the puck totally loose next to Ward they give them a quick whistle right when Gionta buries it. McReally.
- I'm sure they were trying to find a way to call back Andrei's awesome tip right after too.
- Pleky was apparently allergic to empty nets today.
- PK saves the game and Hal Gill desperately flings the puck down the ice to the empty net only to hit the post. Auld was dying of laughter.
- In your grumpy face, Maurice.

Watching hockey with my puppy is the best. He loves watching hockey. Keeps him nice and quiet until he starts barking at the TV 'cause he wants the puck.

Random awesome tweet of the night:
@DaveLozo Hello. My name is Al Montoya. I'm off my angle. Prepare to score.

Bulldogs 4, Phantoms 1: Play more games here please

We're sorry but your win is in another arena.

Well, if Nigel Dawes was looking to help me ease that sadness of seeing #19 on another player, he succeeded! Scoring the opening goal off a superb setup by Engqvist, looks like the Bulldogs have some scoring energy back since the Habs have picked and plundered their roster clean. For one, I've never seen Engqvist pull the moves he was pulling last night. The usually quiet defensive forward was busting out all kinds of moves to get the puck on a shaky Johan Backlund all night that perhaps it wasn't such a bad thing moving Maxwell and giving Engqvist that #1 center role.

Dawes probably would have had a hat trick, that's how much he was flying around the net.

The BabyFlyers defend like the Maple Leafs with their hooking, holding, and general interference except they actually got called on most of them WITH ONE REF WATCHING THE GAME. Would have been a blowout if the Bulldogs powerplay were capable of generating more than one goal (and a very funny Palushaj happy dance). My brother says games at the Bell Centre are detrimental to Mathieu Carle because he tries to show off too much. Haha... Truth is, the Dogs were more offensive on the penalty kill than on the powerplay, an obvious side-effect from removing Weber.

Hey Habs fans! While you whine and bitch about not having big guys who will go to the net and cause mass distractions, do yourselves a favor and watch Conboy. He was up there, just outside the line, getting squeezed into Backlund by a Phantom defender and generally pissing people off. Also throwing hits. If he had some more muscle, he'd be a mack truck.

As the roster is low on the scorers, Jimmy Bonneau and Ian Schultz got some ice time. Bonneau gave some little Phantom he was fighting the noogies and Schultz was pissed a guy elbowed him in the face and wouldn't fight him so he threw a HUGE hit on some other guy who had the puck. Probably the best way to retaliate is by throwing a big, angry hit on some innocent defenceman who ends up paying for something his partner did. Phantoms got pretty quiet after that.

My other boy, JT Wyman scored. Palushaj went all out for that empty netter. QuebecPleks (Olivier Fortier) had 2 assists and was so much fun to watch... One day I think he'll truly be the heir to Pleky's position. And what else can I say about Avtsin? He's so young and so slick...if he pans out the way we hope he does, he'll be a wonderful player for the Habs.

I wish the Bulldogs would play here more often.

Habs 4, Leafs 5: A Hallmark moment for Dave Jackson

For Dave Jackson, Love Brian Burke

Go forth the disillusioned, the blind, and stay your course to that 8th spot. Habs? No, I'm talking Leafs.

Habs would have had this game if their jet lagged brains could play defense or if Roman Hamrlik wasn't quarterbacking every minute of the 3rd period when you really could use a goal or if Auld could have given Price the night off he very much deserved.

But tonight's first star of the game was referee Dave Jackson, who's probably running home to check if he needs to clean some egg off his house.

So go forth, Maple Leaf. I hope you buy your way into 8th. The Flyers are just dying to meet you.

PS. "Optimus Reim" should take his ass off his goal line if he wants to be an NHL goalie. He's deeper than the Mariana Trench in there.

In other news:
Jaro "Cookie Monster" Spacek may be hurt more than we all think. It could be a knee problem. It could just be vertigo from last year (it never really goes away). So Habs traded my boy Ben Maxwell and a 4th for Brent Sopel and Nigel Dawes (who I thought was taller). And now that Sopel is a Hab can we PLEASE stop the trade rumours of Chris Phillips here? BARF!

Yes I'm still going to see the Bulldogs tomorrow. What's left of them, anyway...

Freaks 3, No-Names 2: Pucking superb

Yes they shit the bed against the Sabres, and previously the Islanders (but considering the Islanders have lambasted a few teams right around that time, losing in a shootout isn't so bad).

Yes they were on the Moon in Edmonton 'cause lord knows it's probably better, comfier, and warmer than Edmonton.

And yes they pissed off their entire fanbase by not showing up in an outdoor pond hockey contest where the old timers put on a better show on worse ice.

However like they always do when you least expect them to, they walk into Vancouver with half the world preparing for a slaughter, and the cocky Canuckians licking their lips at the thought, only to score two in the first to walk out with a 3-2 victory in a place they haven't won in 10 years. I'm just happy they didn't embarrass poor Carey in front of his family again. Yea they gave up two powerplay goals, and could have easily killed them if Hamr was facing the right way or if they didn't allow that much space for the point man to shoot but whatever. It was a solid team win. And we finally saw Pouliot benched for gross stupidity!

On notice:
- For the record, I had a really good feeling about this one. I believed they would bring it. So glad I wasn't left tired and disappointed.
- No names on the jersey, while retro, is now annoying.
- Finally West Coast Habs fans can cheer them live and happily.
- Those two early goals were scored by the smallest men on the ice. Desharnais was siiiiiiiiiiick.
- For very big men, the Canucks sure fall down easily. (What a bunch of divers).
- Classic AK46 goal ends with classic AK46 victory: flat on his back with his limbs in the air.
- I have more gray hairs thanks to Roman Hamrlik. You're killing me, man...
- Hal Gill's reach to preserve the lead right near the end, get an icing call, and propose marriage to me through the TV (I won't tell your wife *wink*!)
- Could have done without the many views of Alain Vigneault gnawing his gum and staring incredulously in various directions, usually at refs even though they got away with pretty much everything.
- Simon Pegg was there. His first NHL game. He was left in awe from the skill and called it pucking superb. Sadly he was watching with Tom Cruise.
- No walls were punched this year.
- In case you haven't noticed, I really hate the Canucks...

Price has 6 shutouts and 28 wins, but this was the only game puck he wanted. Mara got it for him. He was also the first star.

Come on home, boys. Yes it's 2-out-of-6 points but you kept pace with those behind you anyway. And you're clear for drinking 'til 2am if this is the result it brings. (I could have sworn Guy Lafleur played better hung over anyway). Maybe they'll get thrown off the plane like the Russian World Juniors?

Nicholas Courtney 1929-2011

Sadly, Nicholas Courtney, better known as our beloved UNIT leader Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart, died today at 81. He was THE man. Deadpan in the face of many alien invasions and just once wished they weren't all immune to bullets, he was the Doctor's best friend. His voice was like silk. There was just something superbly charming about him...even when he put on the eye patch to be Evil Brigadier in an alternate universe. When you play a character that long, you pretty much become that character. I will miss you, Brigadier.

Tim Horton's presents An Outdoor Piece of Crap

Habs lost 4-0 to the Ronald McFlames.

Bravo. Hope you all froze your asses off.

Habs, you embarrassed yourself wonderfully. I also hope Price's mask ate your livers with fava beans for leaving him out to dry in the cold and in front of 40+ thousand people. I'm sure he looks forward to having you do the same on Tuesday in front of his friends and family, AGAIN. This day was being hyped all year and they just took a big dump right in the middle of it.

Eller-Halpern-White were the best trio. They had about as much an impact as the rest of their team though. But right there is the problem. WHY make that line when Pouliot-Desharnais-White were brilliant?! White cleared space for the little center while Pouliot just had to find a good spot. Instead they throw just-back-from-injury Cammalleri in White's spot and nothing comes of it when he should have been back with Plekanec and Gionta...

I think Jacques Martin's brain froze when the Habs finally got a powerplay and he sends out Wiz with...Hamr?! Then screws around even further by putting PK out with Weber?! Again, why screw around with things that WORK?! SPACEK IS THE ONE WHO'S INJURED, REPLACING HIM SHOULD BE SIMPLE WITHOUT FUCKING AROUND WITH THE OTHER PAIRS!

This team and how it's coached infuriates me. About it's only saving grace is the fact every other team in the playoff dance of the East behind them all lost.

Kirk Muller and Mike Keane should have jumped onto the ice. There wasn't any contact anyway.

Hype the hype machine: It's all your fault

I don't care about Kaberle. Have enough defencemen that are soft and turnover the puck.

I don't care about Stewart. Who is Max Pacioretty?

I don't care about Brewer. Newsflash: his No Trade Clause most likely stipulates that he doesn't care about you either.

I would like the thank YouTube for not removing all the Doctor Who audio books people so generously posted because I would not be able to work in absolute silence considering I'm done with all things radio. I've also loaded my USB key with more books to listen to while I work.

If you're angry Pierre Gauthier isn't being the best GM Toronto ever had because Brian Burke is apparently going out of his way to be the best GM Boston ever had, you should probably turn off the NHL11, stop listening to Pierre McGuire, and realize that making trades in the NHL isn't as easy as sending Andrei Kostitsyn to LA for Anze Kopitar. It just doesn't work that way.

Did you know JP Dumont doesn't want to play here? Frankly, at 4 million dollars he can continue to park his useless behind in Nashville's pressbox.

Fans (and media!) need to understand that there are players designated as "CORE". These are the players the team is building with. Trades are meant to compliment the CORE. The only way those CORE players move is if the ones coming back is pretty much a similar type of CORE player. There is no reason for the Habs to shake up their CORE the way the struggling Blues and Avs did. And I also think it's very naive of fans who actually think Gauthier is doing nothing. He's looking, but he's not going to ruin his team for something shiny that may or may not actually help.

In the end those same fans screaming that Gauthier didn't do the same trades would be the first ones screaming he traded PK Subban.

To me, the only rumour that makes some sense is flipping Kostitsyn for Jakub Voracek. While I would hate to lose Andrei, both players could probably use a change of scenery. Both are first rounders, wingers, young, and are similar sizes having a similar season. For Andrei, getting him away from the Montreal media would be a bonus to him. For Voracek, he might enjoy playing with countryman and fellow Kladno resident Tomas Plekanec. Both are RFA, with Voracek probably looking for a deal no greater than Kostitsyn's current contract (would probably be less, actually). And Andrei will probably find himself with a 1-year show us what you can do type deal next year. Voracek also played in the QMJHL. It would be a bit like the Latendresse/Pouliot trade.

At the moment, it's more important for the Habs to get their own prospects a chance to show what they're capable of. And so far, it's the kids who have done a wonderful job. It's now up to the veterans to match that.

Habs 1, Oilers 4: Top 10 reasons why this happened

Looks like the Old Western Trip of Doom is shaping up to its usual shenanigans. Why this happens is beyond me, considering half the roster come from out there, but I do have an idea on why they lost last night...

10. Don Van Massenhoven should be fired. Or sent back in time to pre-lockout NHL where players can clutch, grab, interfere. Or sent back to pre-school and learn how to count 8 skaters in Blue and Orange.

9. The Grand Canyon appeared on Wisniewski's face!


8. Only 1.5 veterans left on D. And yes, the .5 is Picard who sadly had the one good chance on the powerplay. But did you ever think you'd see the day when a 5-on-3 was being killed by Gionta, PK, and Weber? (Hey, don't get me wrong. PK and Weber were the best D all night even if PK was trapped up high on the 2nd Oilers goal. Can't fault him for trying to create offense though.).

7. Lack of supporting your goaltender who scared us all when he stumbled and looked to have sprained something. But the fact he only gave up 3 was a miracle considering the swarm of Oilers in his general area. It should have been 3-0 in 5 minutes in the first period.

6. Lack of attacking opposing goaltender who was punting rebounds galor. Of course every time there was an open net, a Hab was immediately GLOMPED and pinned to the ice. I'm also convinced the guy running the shot clock was either drunk and seeing double or counted the missed shots as shots on net. No way they reached 36.

5. Effort was inexcusable. Even Gionta looked slow. And that lack of effort was none more present when Price was pulled for the extra man and the rest of the guys just couldn't be bothered to even get the puck. Even worse is the fact they could have easily been SHUTOUT by this team if Halpern and Eller hadn't crashed the net.

4. The lack of Hal Gill suddenly brings about a lack of communication. Also, can someone put Josh Gorges behind the bench? His team needs his motivational skills BADLY.

3. I really, really, really want a guy or two that can routinely pick corners without taking 5 years to shoot.

2. Mentality and body language. Skating around with your shoulders slumped doesn't give me any confidence. The crowd had more Habs fans than Oilers fans, and that didn't give them any jump at all.

1. The system. Regardless of the personnel and how healthy a lineup he has, Martin's system needs a system to feed off of and the Oilers are basically playing pond hockey. Because Martin's system is one of patience and reaction instead of go-for-the-throat attack, more often than not his players are stuck watching, getting caught flatfooted and then end up looking like a bunch of drooling pylons. It's also why most of his offensive forwards have taken a huge hit in the points category.

Apparently only Vancouver gets the "ya but injuries to their blueline" excuse. All the Habs get is TSN/CBC analysts gleefully rubbing their hands together at the proposition that the Habs may be out of a playoff spot after this trip and the Maple Leaf will suddenly bounce 5 teams to 5th spot.

Fuck it. Bring out the smelling salts, hot cocoa, and those little heat thingies. You better not embarrass yourself at the Heritage Classic on Sunday like this.

Soapbox: NHL Brouhaha

Extra 2-minutes for a douchey moustache.

Much has been said about the Pens/Islanders bar brawl last Friday. I saw it on TV and it made me sick. A hockey fight is a hockey fight but that wasn't a hockey fight. If you haven't heard him and because he basically says everything I have to say about it all, do yourself a favor and have a listen to Connor McKenna's rant during Melnick's show when he was filling in for Mitch.

Slap Shot was a movie. The goons of the Nowhere League pummeled their way up the standings. And when the other team called in the goons to give them a taste of their own medicine, it was funny because it wasn't real. However there are leagues like this where fighting is the only way up and the only way to fill seats. However what I saw on Friday was no different than assault and battery, and if anyone had any real balls in this League they'd take it to court like how they do it in the QMJHL. My dad always says when he sees a fight in a hockey game that if he did what they're doing on the street, he'd get arrested.

Instead the NHL gives them a slap on the wrist. And don't give me the "yea but Cooke is a Penguin" shit. Hypocritical? Of course it is. But if everyone conducted themselves with the mentality of a 4-year-old that keeps justifying and deflecting blame, the world would look like the Middle East.

Matt Martin got four games for his Bertuzzi moment, and if you've seen this kid play you'll know what I mean when I say he's out of control and someone has to calm him down. I don't think Trevor Gillies has PLAYED more than 9 games this year and that's what they give him for a vicious blind-side elbow to the head of an unsuspecting player already engaged in a board battle with another player, then attacking that player and taunting him from off the ice. What did Tangradi ever do? Gillies is lucky he isn't banned from the League let alone in court for assault. With Konopka telling us how he's a good guy with a wife and kids and the fine is tough on a guy who's making minimum wage while shuttling between the ECHL and the AHL... Well, isn't that just as hypocritical as Lemieux considering he rammed an elbow into a kid's head with intent to injure?

Just because Matt Cooke is a Penguin doesn't mean you have to be an equally if not dirtier player.

Of course no one cares about Elbow Pad Gate, or how the frustrated Bruins decided beating on Hamr and Spacek was "just hockey"... Want something done? Hope it happens to a Penguin.

Habs 2, Sabres 3 (SO): Same old lesson never learned...

Only the Habs can dominate the first period of the game and leave it with a 1-0 lead off a powerplay goal then subsequently shit the bed through the next two periods and overtime and a shootout. And trust me when I say you don't want to go to a shootout with the Sabres. Forget Ryan Miller, it's their SHOOTERS you need to worry about. Vanek might look like a useless bag of pucks on the ice during the game but take away the defence and he's a ridiculous 6-for-6.

Some will say, "yea but our blueline is now all rookies save for 2.5 guys." I counter with, "yea but the BULLDOGS were actually the better defencemen!" Brutal game by Hamr with Price saving his ass way too many times in critical situations. Brutal game by Picard, who paired with Wisniewski, was just a complete and utter disaster. And every time Picard was out, Drew Stafford was out, INCLUDING the penalty kill. The coaching staff dropped the ball right there, as there's no excuse in a home game to allow that matchup to continue. Even Subban couldn't save Picard tonight. That's how bad he was!

You can thank Price for even getting a point tonigh. After going up 2-0 and outshooting the Sabres who had 5'10" 160lbs (probably all in his equipment) Jhonas Enroth in nets, the rest of the team checked out early and got outshot terribly. And with the defensive zone so chaotic, they allowed the Sabres to take control of the game. Rolling lines that made no sense, killing any momentum Desharnais' line created, allowing ridiculous scoring chances that forced Price to make ridiculous quick-strike saves...the movement was at half speed and the effort looked borderline disinterested. For a moment I thought they completely forgot there was another side to this rink. We've seen this so many times before yet they never learn!

A win tonight would have vaulted the Habs to 3rd place, first in the Northeast as the Leafs actually did the Habs a favour and WON a game against Boston. But half these guys can't his the broad side of a barn. Instead, it's a tie for first in the Northeast as the Habs pack their bags and head off to Edmonton.

Anyway, interesting factoid: since the brawl, the Bruins have not won a single game nor managed to get a single point since, while the Habs have taken a point out of each and a full two Saturday against the Leaf. Obviously they played the Red Wings twice but hey we were told that after the bully-fest, the Bruins would crush everyone on their way to the Stanley Cup... Perhaps facing the Red Wings twice was their punishment? Oh did I mention the Bruins are quite healthy while the Habs are patched together and have been patched together with Bulldogs?

It's something people really fail to mention. That the Habs are where they are in the standings with this roster speaks volumes to their prospects and development. And the fact that it's the Bulldogs who are really stepping up in these games rarely gets noticed. It's unfortunate that the veterans on this team aren't matching the play of these rookies... However we're seeing an emergence of who can be an impact player on this team, and how a few veterans are ending up on the "expendable" list.

Habs 3: Leafs 0: Universal balance restored

The happy bulldog is happy

That felt good.

Nothing like beating the Leaf utterly after a 3-game losing streak.

Nothing like shutting out the Leaf when all TSN/CBC mentions all days is how they're only 14 points behind the Habs! No mention of the five teams ahead of them or the fact they feed off fellow non-playoff teams. It's a tale of two teams going in two different directions! Leafs won 4 of their last 6! Plan the parade!

Booya.
Should send that to CBC and their KesselTracker.

Also have to note that David Desharnais has finally scored in a game they WON! Hurray! Sadly looks like Patches' shoulder tweaked again. Sigh...

This is the second time the Habs have shutout a team while I was drawing my entry for that mask design contest. I best start printing out more blanks in case they need my help to slumpbust another day...

I need a video of what Price was doing at the end of the game. He's too funny.

Habs 3, Islanders 4 (SO): We are the suck

Typical.

Like every December no matter who is on this team, February is kryptonite. Looks like it's going that way eh?

Yesterday's game was more fun. Tonight's was a big long raspberry.

At this rate you may as well play a team of Bulldogs. If only that were possible...

Other than the awesome Bulldogs, Auld's new mask kicks ass.

Habs 6, Bruins 8: Game of the Year

All the recap you need.
If you missed it, you suck.

I felt like I went back in time to the 1980s. Habs-Bruins line brawls galor. I half expected Chris Nilan to jump in and pound the snot out of Lucic 'cause god knows he was running away from Moen.

Old time hockey. They brought their fucking toys.

Though once the dust had settled one wonders how many games Campbell will give his son for carving Pyatt's face with his elbow pad. Ya right.

Gionta's 20th goal of the year. All other Habs goals were by Bulldogs, with 2 by Pacioretty who took a beating all game including a temporarily crippling slash to the foot and head shot. Four powerplay goals! Forget the loss. It was clownshoes and the guys know it. Defense on either side shit the bed, the Bruins had 18 shots on Price in the first and could have easily gone 8-0 right then, while Thomas found himself with little help as well. Probably would have been a lower-scoring game in a 60 minute shootout. The coaches probably figured pulling their goalies for backups was irrelevant and would only run up the score higher.

But we, the fans, don't care about that part! 'Cause it was like the rivalry of old, reinvented in a modern era where bench clearing brawls are a casualty of new rules and line brawls are as rare as Pyatt scoring. Benoit Pouliot finally did something this year and one-punch dropped Krejci who suddenly thinks he's a fighter. One thing we discovered about Boston? Their penalty boxes are way too fucking small.

Then there's this:

And you wonder why he spends most of his summer roping cows in rodeos?
At the end of the 2nd Price waited for Thomas before leaving the ice and the two stick tapped.
That's how goalies shake hands.

You know, I haven't seen this type of Team Toughness from this team in a long time. Actually last time was against Boston. Habs were destroying the Bruins good (I believe Auld was in nets for most of it). It was Price's rookie year. Julien sent the thugs out, Kostopoulos led the charge to fight back. He eventually got tossed and suspended a game but was still the game star and came out in shorts to toss some sticks to the fans. Something a certain enforcer never managed to rally...

So you want to be a General Manager?

Laugh it up, Cue Ball... That's the closest anyone will allow you near an NHL bench.

Hi, I'm Pierre McGuire. You may know me from such hits as "DOUBLE DION!", "BIG BODY PRESENCE!", and "WHAMMO!" What you DEFINITELY do know is that I am an aspiring GM. I mean how could anyone not want me?! Well, other than the Canadiens, and the Lightning, and the Wild... But they don't know what they're missing. I spend more time between the benches than the Gatorade container! I know the over-value of every player because I've over-hyped every one of them in my pre-game rants! I HAVE PLANS! YOU TEAMS YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE MISSING! KABONG!

Look at this example: Halak for Eller and Schultz?! FOR REAL? I would have played hardball until my NHL10 simulated trade fell through completely! How else do you work in an over-saturated market of goaltenders with more size and experience than this little Slovakian wunderkin?! They made STOP SIGNS in his honour! Never mind his annoying agent either. There's just no way they would refuse sending me Perron or Oshie with Berglund. After all, what's the point of trading an expendable asset if you can't plunder some other team's core?! Frankly the Canadiens dropped the ball! And if they still said no, I would have just kept him and completely screwed my cap situation. I mean, who needs Plekanec when you have a little goalie with bouncy pads eh?

It's just like that Ryan O'Byrne trade. Never mind he's on his way to becoming the next Hal Gill with less-funny video questions and will most likely finally reach his potential when he's 32. Never mind he needs a solid babysitter to point him in the other direction should he find himself spinning on his heels and putting his back to the play. BIG BODY PRESENCE! The Avalanche HOSED those guys. They were the desperate. They had a blue-line decimated by injuries. They have a pack of young forwards that score more goals than anyone so even Marc-Andre Bergeron would be a +15. Instead of Bournival, Canadiens could have plucked out Stewart or Galiardi and a couple of picks. What's the point of trading if you can't handcuff and screw your trading partner!?

You people out there just don't understand and appreciate how easy it is to trade hockey players. Just look at the work Burkie is doing in Toronto. That bidding war for Tomas Kaberle is going to EXPLODE by the end of the month! And just you wait and see what he's got cooking for Giggy! Also Versteeg will never know what hit him. THAT'S AGGRESSIVE TRADING! So AGGRESSIVE that everyone screens their calls and never picks up the phone when you're out fielding interests.

With the upcoming trade deadline, the hype machine is going at a HELLACIOUS pace. And I insert random big words to prove my point! I have two GREAT trades for you to get working on, Canadiens! To Calgary: Hamr for Iginla and Nemisz. To San Jose: Spacek for Clowe. MONSTER DEAL! Then go the way of the Devils and CIRCUMVENT that Cap! How about THAT, Goat!? I SHOULD HAVE YOUR JOB!!

"..."

Habs 1, Devilzzz 4: Pillows not included

Seriously? Interpret the rule any way you want. Kovalchuk hooked on his way to the empty net through a sleeping sorry sack of Habs as they just pulled Price, still got free and took a shot at the net, and HIT THE FUCKING POST. Rewind back many games ago when Pyatt was tripped on his way to an empty net goal and they didn't give it to him. Gomez was thrown out of the game right there as he just tore the ref a new one for missing the zillion dives Hedberg did, missing the zillion high sticks in their faces, missing every thing and then calling that shit. A guy can only take so much garbage and a back-to-back game just accentuated it. Game was over anyway. Gotta let 'em know you're there.

Doesn't matter since the Habs were asleep all game. Perhaps thinking about their potluck for the Stupor Bowl later tonight.

It's like the complete opposite of the great game yesterday:
- Gomez does a brilliant play to remove Kovalchuk from the puck but as he always does, he reverses the play, handcuffs his defenceman, and ultimately Hal Gill turns it right over to Zubrus who surprises Price and everyone else in the world.
- A shot going wide escapes everyone but Kovalchuk who tips it into the net. How this shit always happens to us, I don't know...
- It could have been 3-0 Devils in the first five minutes had Price not lassoed the play on another horrendous turnover right in front of him. Not a happy man, right there.
- Hamr and Spacek reunited to shit the bed and not move or clear the net, handcuffing Price who actually makes a brilliant save on an uncontested point shot where the rebound goes to an uncontested Zajac who simply tucks it around him and in.
- The most unluckiest game I've seen in a while concerning goals bouncing everywhere but in the proper direction for the Habs. Then again, the Devils had their feet up yesterday and it looked like it too.
- Brodeur flopped wrong and fucked up his knee. Hint hint, Marty: You're old.
- PK Subban made it respectable by rifling a shot off Kovalchuk for some revenge to tip that puck behind Hedberg.
- Benoit Pouliot is the most aggravating player ever, and if he had a Russian name the media would let you know this. I think I caught Andrei rolling his eyes a few times though they played well together, Benny needed to bring more and turnover less.
- And turnover less to Kovalfuckingchuk. Better be giving Price extra wings tonight for saving his ass a 100 times.
- Pacioretty was the best player on the ice in red, and the Devilzzz opened the door to their bench on him as he hit it. Douchey.
- I think Hal Gill does more coaching than Perry Pearn.
- Hedberg flopping like a fish all game, but Price gets run by a guy who was not pushed and made no attempt to stop and no one calls it. So fuck you too, zebras.
- Cheeseheads in the crowd. Yea.

I swear the Habs always do this after Price gets a shutout. It's like they think "hey, we can leave him defending the back end all game and wait for the puck to bounce out eh"? Hockey is a team sport and even yesterday he was largely left alone to face the Rags and preserve the shutout. Today they repaid him by shitting the bed. Either way, Devils are just fucking up their draft position. Bravo idiots.

Also I'm back to saying BENOIT BRUNET MUST BE STOPPED.

Well, 6 out of 8 in double back-to-back wasn't so bad. One more this week with the Bruins and the Islanders. May I request Habs work on scoring goals and pairing one old guy with one young guy on D?

Habs 2, Rags NADA: Cold as ice

There's something very satisfying in seeing playoff hockey in the afternoon on a Saturday, the first of back-to-back Super Bowl weekend games where:
- The Habs beat the refs.
- The Habs beat the Rags.
- The Habs beat their demons.
- The Habs stick up for each other, and most importantly their goalie.
- The Habs have finally learned how to incorporate Price's puckhandling into their play.
- Andrei Kostitsyn avenged the vicious hit he received against the Coyotes by hitting the brother of the guy who nearly killed him.
- After hanging around as an extra, Picard takes the flu-ridden Wiz's spot and picks up an assist, fights Avery (coward), and only screwed up once.
- Weber shows he's a mighty fine defenceman with bite.
- After getting a vicious elbow to the head and his knee taken out, Spacek played mighty fine.
- PK shows the footwork he picked up from playing with Gill.
- Andrei Kostitsyn could have scored 5 goals.
- Prust should have been sucker punched harder last time.
- Callahan can also rot.
- Gomez scores a goal that wasn't a fluke.
- The Habs finally score on an empty net.
- The Habs win and I don't think they won a single faceoff. Even lost the ones they won.
- Price gets a well deserved shutout. Calm, cool, Priceberg.

What's that smell? Smells like Boston, 2 points ahead. But first, the Devils. Bring some pizza to distract Marty Brodeur.

What if...

What if Martin St. Louis were 6'7"? He'd look like this:

Habs 3, Panthers 2: Bank shot!

There's a diagram of the game winning goal by Captain America.

Habs and Panthers both ended their previous night in a similar fashion: a shootout. Only the Habs won theirs while the Panther's lost theirs. And now both games in a back-to-back situation were a comeback grind. Stick to the plan, good things should happen.

I suck at pool.
- Finally someone decided to win the Molson Cup other than Price, and it's Mr. Underrated Tomas Plekanec!
- Hey Tieman? Eat your words on AK46.
- No really, stop bitching about Andrei and stop trying to find ways to trade him for the impossible or useless.
- Text intercepted between Ellerby and Price: "Why is everyone hitting me? :("
- Text intercepted between Price and Ellerby: ":D"
- Actually Ellerby's hit on Andrei really woke him up because he was being lulled to sleep by the hypno-Panthers.
- Alex Auld should stop playing the puck.
- Habs need more goals like Halpern's. Perfect move to tip that sucker in.
- Yea the Panthers take plenty of silly penalties. But the PP is in predictable mode.
- Hamr's skate broke. For a guy that doesn't pivot, I don't know how this happened.
- Quote of the night: "Et Veber dit OUF!" (Other than that one gaff which he worked hard to correct, Weber had a solid night).
- With a lead and 2 minutes left, please don't send out the Hamr-Wiz pair...
- Things you've gotten used to hearing to the point where it doesn't actually surprised you: "Higgins! ...Shoots it wide!"
- Things you've grudgingly gotten used to: Gomez's stupid penalties.
- Things we learned from Twitter: According to RDS, Subban's the 1st rookie Habs defenceman to reach 20 points in 10 years. Last guy to do it was Andrei Markov.
- Panthers are a quiet, frustrating, hard-working team but they're meaningless in their existence.
- Where can I get that tuque Carey was wearing?

Mr. Underrated is your first star of the night.

Gionta 3, Caps 2 (SO): Small captain, big heart

Don't you just want to grab him and huggle him?

Perhaps Ovechkin could learn a few things from Captain America. What I saw tonight from the Great 8 was an embarrassing, ridiculous childish display of pent-up frustration tipping to the point of stupidity. His attempts to draw penalties by slashing Halpern's stick only to break his own and scream at the ref who didn't fall for it? His facewashing exchange with PK where the official pulled only PK to the box considering the exchange ended in a pile by Price's feet. If his swan dive against the Rangers was bad, tonight he pulled out the whole gamut of tricks. Humour not lost on me, the 3 All-Star participants were heavily engaged in each other on the ice tonight, with PK in his face all night like Gorges usually is. I'm sure if Mcguire was doing the game, he'd be warning us about not poking the bear, yada yada yada. In all honesty everyone knows Ovie's going to cut to the middle pretty much every time.

It all came down to Price stopping him in the shootout and going nuts for the win. Dans ta face.

Regardless, Habs did us proud and earned these points after kicking off the dust from the ASG break. I was actually shocked to see they have a semi-winning record post-ASG break but for a while it looked bad. However, the Captain did what a captain should do: take control of the situation and prop up his team on his tiny little back instead of flailing at the officials, banging his stick on the boards, and bitching about not getting the puck when HE wanted to. Gionta knows how to handle a team and knows the team is all that matters. Price settled comfortably back into his crease. (Funny video of him coming late to practice 'cause his gear pulled a Corey Locke on him). The D played rather well even with the few Hamr brain farts. I thought Weber was fantastic and I wish people would stop saying he's pure trade bait. I also wish Wiz would get a dark stick because you can see the puck from the Space Station when he has it... And for some long stretches it was back-and-forth action my brother said resembled the ASG but with effort and defence.

And I know the Habs can't do this every game. I'm not stupid. But this game was Gionta's statement. He buzzed around the Caps all night, even with their extra long fat bladed sticks. Not sure if it's officially called a hat trick since the winning goal was a shootout goal, so we'll call it a Kovy Hat Trick. And if it were physically possible, I think Superman wears Brian Gionta pijamas.

I love Ben Cahoon. I love Brian Gionta. To me, these two are cut from the same amazing cloth.

Hover! Habs bromance!