Habs 5, Canucks 2: Max scores a hat trick, is a bum

I'm kidding.

But if Pacioretty knew how to penalty shoot, he would have gotten FIVE goals last night. FIVE. I don't think anyone would have faulted him to go full Thornton on that.

As far as hat tricks go, probably his lamest. But we still love him.

Oh and another 42 saves from Price. Ho hum.

How I see Carey Price play behind this D.

One more til Sochi. Can Ryan White make it 3 in a row in getting a game star? I am happy to see Weise provide us with a proper fourth line. Unfortunately, Bournival is now hurt. SONUVABITCH!

Habs 6, Stars 4: Let's suck and win like nobody's business!

 Sometimes, licking a pole in -40 weather is what it's like to be a Habs fan.

Hey Team Canada. I hear every one of you droogs selecting it prefer Jamie Benn over Milan Lucic except of course Chiarelli who can go fuck himself if he thinks Lucic is better. That's like saying "I prefer the large slug over the quick sniper on extra-large ice where mobility and skill will be important". Oh wait! That's exactly what he's saying!

And just think, if Kunitz's "mystical" chemistry with Crosby punches him a ticket to Sochi, how about Tyler "Miley Cyrus" Seguin with Benn? Oh right, you don't like him. Never mind. Goals and speed are so overrated on big ice anyway.

- FoxStars used the term "vaselinity". That with Seguin's tongue and I feel like I need to clean my TV screen.
- PK Subban giving Lindy Ruff a refresher course on why he should be on Team Canada. Now I have a four point night. Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho.
- Hey icing. I hate you. Seguin with a completely open Jamie Benn, however, loves you. (Re. I still hate you).
- Pacioretty slipped through the Stars with much vaselinity for a breakaway goal. Still sucks in shootouts though.
- Also what an amazing assist by Subban on that goal. Take notes, other defensemen. This is how you clear the zone instead of getting forever trapped behind your net on the boards--oh what never mind, you'll never learn.
- Our D pairings should just be PK Subban with someone else. He can take it.
- And PK Subban is doing this awesome stuff stuck babysitting Frankie Bubbles, by the way...
- EVERY FUCKING TIME MURRAY AND DIAZ GET ON THE ICE, BAD SHIT HAPPENS.
- That penalty shot was bullshit. Also it's Nichushkin. He would have scored whilst fanning on his shot.
- This game probably would have ended 5-2 or 5-3 (because Seguin-Bomb) if the Habs would have stopped allowing the Stars to enter the zone with IMPUNITY. Also what the hell is with the 50 people in Price's crease. Get the fuck out and do your jobs!
- Speaking of which, there was always someone's butt in Price's face, and not just Garbutt's.
- We had an Erik Cole vs Douglas Murray footrace and it was...even.
- Similarly we had Douglas Murray vs Tyler Seguin footrace/match up and it was omfgwhatareyoudoingontheice horrible.
- All fans who bang on the glass should be using their heads.
- Since causing that (bullshit) penalty shot, Gorges was incredible. Actually it was the first time I felt I saw 2010 Gorges. I hope he stays! I missed 2010 Gorges...
- Remember Patrik Stefan? He who essentially murdered the Stars in the playoffs by walking to an empty Oilers' net and fucked it up and they lost? That's what Desharnais reminded me of on those breakaways. I mean Lehtonen was flat on the fucking ice. LIFT THE PUCK. Also NO TOE DRAG JUST SHOOT.
- I'm still laughing at the Stars who think the puck in Price's crotch a full foot in front of the crease was a goal. Try selling that harder next time, jokes.
- I'm sure Antoine Roussel's visor is on the IR now thanks to Travis Moen's fists. But +1 for playing Guile's Theme you nerds.
- It's been a while because coaching decided the best player to fuck around with to "get other lines going" was Lars Eller but KNEEL BEFORE LARS. That goal? I had Good Kovalev flashbacks.
- Hilarious: people actually think Lehtonen should have had that. Are you kidding me? Do you know hockey?
- Playing with fire: After every Habs goal, staff sent out Murray-Diaz pairing because we obviously think having hair is completely overrated.
- Pacioretty actually scored the empty netter. This is not a drill!

The Stars were apparently red hot and it showed. They just gave up on defense and went balls to the walls all out on offense. Actually their idea of defense was skating into people. Thankfully Habs realized this and decided they could score some goals here, or it would have probably ended poorly in OT. Again.

Still some terribly glaring issues, though. And the coaching staff repeating costly errors...

Habs 3, Coyotes 1: Tornado warning

Look out, Pacioretty!

Mike Smith Tornado Zone!

A cold front has slammed into the area. This mass of cold air hitting the mass of warm moist air from the south has caused instability for goaltenders 6'3" with curly hair and a short temper. Tornado warning in effect. Do not skate near the goaltender or you'll find yourself deposited in the penalty box.

Mike Smith is going to the Olympics. In Brazil.

After a cacophony of goal posts, Habs decided they remembered how to hockey in the third period, scored 3 goals including that elusive empty netter, pissed of Mikey Ribs, and added another victory in their sparkling record versus the Coyotes. That's right, Pacioretty. Next time you score, just walk over to the bench and shush their players. That's Mike Ribeiro approved!

Gorges saves a 4-on-1

Habs 2, Bruins 1: Trumpets and all that fanfare

Allow us to bask in this glow...

First in the Atlantic, baby!

Exhausted? Check. Carey Price? Check. Bruins? Teehee. Got Pleks? Hell yes.

And they scored those goals after I noted how gassed they looked, figuring they won't score a single goal tonight. Reverse psychology!

Habs 3, Devilzz 2: Old men bested by young men

HEAAAAAA!

Hell yes. The Devils and their old farts can get their discount trip back to New Jersey for the rematch in thist first of a home-and-home series. Speaking of which, who the fuck thought "A home-and-home series with the Devils is JUST what we need! Let's pick the speedy Habs team to do it too!"

Kill me.

- PK Subban had more saves than Brodeur.
- Carey Price had more saves than Brodeur. Haha Habs were outshot 22-9 by the end of the 2nd. And were up 2-1.
- Obligatory goal by Bernier. Seems to remind himself he's a hockey player when he plays here. Still not enough to warrant that 3rd star though. Wondering if he has family in the media or they've promised him a job later..
- Obligatory goal by Ryder. Because of course.
- Jagr has big feet.
- Bourque LIVES!
- What is with the slide whistle? Did Molson hire a clown to provide musical entertainment?
- Remember folks, Galchenyuk could technically join the USA WJC team. But won't, obviously.

Also this.

- Needed more yakety sax.
- I found video of Desharnais forchecking the Devils with great puck pursuit.

- PK Subban and Carey Price combine like Voltron into Subbrice, Ultimate Goaltender!
- Moen crunched Fayne and it was loud. And crunchy.
- Zidlicky tried to take out Desharnais knees. The refs ignored it.
- This game was so dull even the puck was refusing to join in.
- Pacioretty fist pump celebration, still being reviewed by Toronto.
- Plekanec and Eller went all beast mode preventing Brodeur from going to the bench.
- Regardless of the win, the broadside of the barn is totally safe. (Practice those empty net shots or give it to Price dammit).

Oh my god we have to deal with these fuckers again? At least that takes care of two Devils game.

Habs 4, Leafs 2: CBC tears

You know the Habs had a good night when CBC is a steaming pile of whinebags who can't hide their Leaf blankies fast enough. And once Sportsnet takes over it's will only get worse!

- Remember kids! When you score a kick ass shorthanded goal, and it's your second of the night, don't you dare sheath your stick like a sword! You might motivate the team you're beating 4-0 to play better for a whole 80 seconds!
- Seriously, they can't pull the plug off HNIC fast enough. My biggest problem is TVA taking most of it over from RDS. Lord help us.
- Can we talk about how Pacioretty had 5 shots on net in the first 5 minutes? At one point he had outshot the Leafs on his own. And outscored.
- Price had an assist on that Pacioretty goal. Already better than Bouillon.
- You may want to read the rulebook if you don't understand why that Leaf goal was disallowed. JVR went into the crease on his own and didn't leave. He was in the way. It's rare you'll find a ref that actually understands this. So shut the fuck up, Carlyle.
- PK hit Orr. Orr revenge hit PK. Parros challenged him. Orr said no. Parros then took the puck up the ice for a scoring chance? Yea that happened.
- PK Subban. Put that in your Team Canada pipe and smoke it.
- Obviously he's just too good for the Olympics. The Russians are trying to find a way to "borrow" him.
- Plekanec cross checked Kadri and we all nodded in approval.
-Then Plekanec scored a goal, and we all nodded in approval.
- I still got major feels over that shorthanded Pacioretty goal.
 

- JVR's goal was the reason why Philly traded him. Way too much awesome skill for them. Which means the Leafs will probably trade him again.
- Obligatory Mason Raymond goal. Yawn.
- CBC couldn't be anymore Leaf blue than their entire studio is GLOWLING LEAF BLUE.
- Galchenyuk was benched for the entire 3rd period. No problem. He's a coach kid. He understands that penalty was bad.
- Carey Price save dot gif. All of them. Especially that one. And that one. Ohhh that one was nice too.
- Yea he's so good he doesn't even get a star anymore. But he'll probably get the Molson Cup anyway.
- If there's only one thing these guys need to work on it's scoring on an empty net.
- Bernier now 0-3-0 vs the Habs, I think. Regardless of whatever team he's on.

Pacioretty had TEN shots on net. PK had 6 shots. CBC cried about powerplays in Habs favour, even though Leafs had twice as many but SHHH they believe if they suck up even more to the Leafs, Sportsnet will rehire them. All in all, great night for the Habs.

And a GREAT birthday for Toaster!

Habs 3, Pens 2: Whine and cheese

Whilst out celebrating my mom's 60th birthday, Habs were taking on the Penguins. Or, as I like to call it, PK Subban annoying Sidney Crosby forever.

- It's Pacioretty Week! Two more goals!
- Eller and Galchenyuk are being wasted by Prust. Sure Prust is a great energy guy, but he's not Gallagher. The least you could do is rotate a double shift of Gallagher, Pacioretty, and Bournival.
- When the Penguins waste opportunities early (ie. gifted powerplays) they turn into the whiniest whinebags ever and frustrate themselves into a hole.
- Fleuuuuuuryyyyyyyy.
- Did you know D'Agostini is a Penguin? I just remembered.
- Also just remembered Chocula is an assistant coach. That's pretty funny, considering what happened in 2010...
- Carey Price > Fleury
- By like a hundred thousand miles. And kilometers.
- Pleky beating Crosby on the faceoff matchup. All. Night. Long.
- Gionta pissing Crosby off. All. Night. Long.
- Ya I can't even blame Fleury for that 2nd Pacioretty goal. That release was ridiculous.
- You know what happens when you've got 3 minutes left in a game, and you were doing so well matching up lines and then you THROW OUT BOUILLON-DIAZ whilst Malkin-Neal are on the ice? You get two pylons and a goal against.
- So if PK is "too risky" for Team Canada, what the fuck is Letang?
- Meanwhile Team Russia is looking for some loophole to put Subban on their team.
- Not really, but they should.

I remember hearing how Habs will drop both these games on the radio. Please keep saying that so the opposite will happen, thanks.

 Peter Budaj, stealing yer stick

Habs 4, Canucks 1: This recap slipped right through Luongo as well

This game. Words cannot describe it. So we'll throw them on bullet points!

- For the Habs, it was all Price and anything once over the Canucks blue line. Having the Sedins vs Diaz all night was enough to make me grey.
- Defensive zone was such a clusterfuck. Calmed down incredibly in the 3rd though.
- Yup. Markov paired with PK is the way it should be. He's so much quicker, so much at ease. He looks younger! Almost like he doesn't have to worry so much about his partner (Diaz). Who knew! (RE: Everyone).
- But of course we should remember that according to PJ Stock, Markov hates PK.
- Garrison had 10 shots out of the 40 the Canucks threw at Price. And by shots I mean cannonballs.
- There was a Carey Price cheering section, a Josh Gorges cheering section (his grandma!) and a Brendan Gallagher cheering section (his family minus his busy playing hockey little brother).
- The CAREY!CAREY!CAREY! were louder than the LOUUUUU.
- Dan Hamhuis was our best player.

Oops.

- Lars Eller is so good he doesn't even need to be on the ice to score.
- Though according to PJ Stock, Lars Eller turned over the puck on a Diaz crappy outlet pass because of that playoff hit. It must hurt for PJ to think.
- Therrien's reaction to Pacioretty getting a penalty shot was the best. I don't think I ever saw him that giddy.
- Meanwhile, the camera would focus directly on Torts every time something shitty happened to the Canucks. Same old "oy vey" look every time.
- On that penalty shot, Pacioretty did a good move, Luongo lucked out and had the puck bounce off his stick and away.
- Price too had the puck bounce off his stick. Shot was so hard his stick went flying out of his hands.
- Unfortunately it didn't maim Kesler, who's ass was directly in Price's nose all night.
- I can watch Tinordi toss Kesler out of Price's crease all night though.
- Richardson was tonight's recipient of the PK Subban Butt Check.
- Complaints about the lack of secondary scoring for the Canucks? Well, maybe you shouldn't have traded Hodgson for Kassian.
- Kassian was also extra invisible.
- And ugly.
- The Canucks were so far apparently perfect on the penalty kill. Went 1-for 3 tonight.
- Pacioretty's deflection walked through Luongo and Plekanec's lovely finish to a perfect tic-tac-toe play between Markov and Subban.
- Josh Gorges scored.
- I repeat Josh Gorges scored.
- Clean shot, no deflection, right over Luongo's shoulder for some tasty cakes.
- Luongo was pissed.
- Galchenyuk went off on a breakaway and got tripped by a Sedin twin who immediately bitched about it. The king of flailing his arms while falling on his ass was bitching about a clear penalty.
- As much as I'm happy how the Habs have played in Vancouver since that embarrassing suck fest a few years ago, I just can't stand watching the Crapnucks. Whiny bitches.
- Chris Higgins still shoots wide.
- I was hoping Vancouver would be what awakens Desharnais. The body is cold.
- He had some flashes but was still stone cold.
- Briere may as well not be on this team, honestly.
- Ryan White appeared to be our lead faceoff guy. Seemed like he was winning them all.
- Plekanec appears shocked to be playing between two really good hockey players. Every time Galchenyuk sends him a pass, the skill freaks him out.
- Eller should be double-shifted so he can play again with those kids...
- It's almost 2am and NHL's website still has the Leafs-Oilers pond hockey game up as their lead story. Doesn't even have the Habs game in the rotation either. Who needs you.

 If this team wins 4-1 every time they win, I'm good with that.

Habs 5, Leaf 2: Bite me

AIR GUITAR!

Harlem Shake is the Leafs' goal song.

Gorges is retweeting some chatter about someone wishing he were hotter than he is.

And Price is tweeting about Duck Dynasty.

Hockey jumped the shark.

Do I need to remind you Michael Ryder is a Hab again?
- You know what sucks? THIS FUCKING SLUSHSTORM.
- Why the flying fuck is Colton Orr playing 15 minutes? With Kadri? With more ice time than Kessel and JVR? Oh right, Carlyle thinks goons = wins.
- It's because of that, Mike Douchechops Brown's hit from behind on Gorges was a 5 and a toss instead of a 2. Yes, I think he was tossed simply to send a message to the bench to quit their shit now.
- Once again, Dion Phaneuf goes after things smaller than him and runs from Prust. But really, Gallagher doesn't give a crap who you are, he will skate through you and will usually end up under your goalie in the net.
- Which prompted a hilarious thing! CTV's Brian Wilde mentions a prayer for Gionta to teach Gallagher how to avoid dangerous situations. I totally disagree with this, as this is not in Gallagher's DNA. And anyway if you've watched Gally play most of his hockey life, teaching him to avoid danger is ridiculous and would kill his game (in any case, he knows what he's doing). Long story short, my disagreeing with his statement prompted Tennis Man to bite my fucking head off for being "contrarian on every bloody thing", of which I politely did not appreciate and clarified I'm merely disagreeing with his statement because Gally can take care of himself thank you very much. Plus, teaching him to go do the complete opposite of what made him an NHLer? Yea that's smart... In any case, he has deleted his side of the small exchange and probably blocked me like the insecure twat he appears to be. It's called a Twitter exchange. Deal with it or get off. (ie, Bite me).
- By the way, the Phaneuf hit on Gallagher? Gallagher stayed on his feet while Phaneuf tumbled over. Remind me who knocked Georges Parros on his ass in Florida? OH YEA, Gallagher.
- Still, some progress: Scrivens didn't attack Gally this time.
- Both goals against were total fails in coverage. You just can't stop skating guys...
- So Patches gets two glorious chances on the 5 minute major, misses both (including an absolutely abandoned net). PK breaks his stick on a shot, Scrivens bounces the rebound off Patches' leg and in. Typical.
- Though Patches made up for it on a Kovalev-esque shot after little DD out-muscled Phaneuf to get him the puck. (Suck it Phaneuf).
- Penalty shot: denied. Maybe next time Grabs should try biting the puck.
- Somewhere, Tyler Bozak is still bitching about losing the faceoff clean to DD on Gally's goal. YOU LOST THE DRAW. Deal with it.
- Every time I saw a Habs goal, I saw JVR float by after it. It was the only time I noticed JVR, really.
- When Emelin scores, I get real happy.
- And Gionta adds the rare empty netter for free wings!

So, Gallagher gave Ryder his number back and took his old 11 on. Happily took his number 11. Then again, Gallagher is basically synonymous with happy.

Suck it Leafs.

Habs 3, Islanders 4 (OT): Gained a point, lost a point

Much like the Habs, I don't really have the energy to recap this one so I'll just let the Islanders walk all over me and write it themselves.

Suckers! You might be first in the East for now (and well, still are, for now) but we know your weak spots. It's those Russians who can't keep up with our speedy forwards and your coach's inability to realize that Tavares and PK are best friends and would love to cancel each other out. Check the ice time sheet. HIS NAME IS PK! Thank you for not playing him on the PK so we could score two goals easily. That Diaz guy? He's like the equivalent of a prairie dog when he plays the penalty kill, of which he did for 3 minutes and 10 seconds. Hilarious.

You know what else is hilarious? Max Pacioretty. I mean, did you see that? He had a hat trick on his stick with a wide open empty net and still managed to shoot the puck into Nabby! We all bowled over with laughter on that. And that two-man advantage you guys got when everyone was getting free hooking penalties? Again, I know we're glad someone burned the tapes from last year because you guys didn't use your clutch shooter...named PK. Instead we saw that Diaz-Markov pairing that shit the bed most of the game. Guess it means nothing when PK helped set up the first powerplay goal you guys scored on us early.

We loved your shitty coaching decisions. Makes our mafia guy look like a genius.

  Thanks. At least they weren't wearing those shitty 3rd jerseys.

Meanwhile... Carey Price wins the internet.

Awake from your slumber!

Surprise announcement! Habs extend Max Pacioretty's contract a year early to SIX YEARS in the middle of the night in August. For dirt cheap too. That got the Blackberries scrambling eh?

Cue mandatory FUCK YOU CHARA. There, done.

Cue mandatory photo of Toaster, back from the vet and sporting his new Old Navy sweater (says "Little Rebel" on it).

Now back to...well what the fuck I'm not doing anything right now except yelling curse words at Gary Bettman and his pack of annoying idiot owners. Seriously dudes, if you guys lock out again you're fuckwits. Take that 8-million dollar salary and shove it up your ass. I can't live off random Canada-Russia Summit Series all year...

Habs 5, Bolts 2: No storylines for you!

That's right, Stamkos. Go and get your 60 goals elsewhere! Instead we have better storylines.

Like Gabby Dumont showing why he's our new little annoying gnat.

Like Erik Cole scoring, and scoring some more.

Like Max Pacioretty following Cole's model and giving us free wings.

Like PK Subban having fun AND preventing Stamkos from scoring.

Like Pleky showing he can slip into Desharnais' spot and the line will still produce.

Like Emelin's timely pinch for his 3rd goal of the year.

Like Budaj's two assists! OK well one was to Lecavalier...

That's right. NONE SHALL TANK! I mean, we're already in the tank. I'm thankful they're showing us they're still playing like they care.

Of course it helps when Yzerman unearthed Sebastien Caron from Craigslist. And the fact the Lightning were trying too hard to get the puck to Stamkos. All they were missing were arrows and neon signs.

Pre-season Game 3: Power to the children

Max Pacioretty: 9 shots on net, two goals and an extra in the shootout. Absolutely instrumental in tonight's outcome.

Brendan Gallagher: 4 shots on net and an absolute cog on the line.

Scott Gomez: First foray into pre-season action, 6 shots on net, game tying goal to bring it into OT, and 1 assist. Centering the two kids, his line made up for 19 of the total 33 shots and the big push for a comeback.

It's only pre-season but you have to like what happened tonight. In a line up that held a combined 621 regular season games to the Sens combined 2 594 (Alfie skews it), the leaders lead the way and the kids kept digging in. As with the case with most Habs games the powerplay was the key, taking advantage of silly penalties. Similarly the start of the game was flat and full of screw ups (they keep bowling Price over and interfering with him...guess it's only comforting in knowing Henry won't be in the lineup for real), but it's getting there. Ending on a high is nothing but great for these kids. It's nothing but good news when you see (or hear) Raphael Diaz do everything to block a shot to help with the comeback. It's nothing but good news to hear how Gallagher's forechecking is causing fits. But it all starts with the powerplay: to be that strong with the man advantage without really any of your regulars in the lineup? Of course the 2nd powerplay goal was a heads up play by Lawson to Pacioretty who was out cherry picking and went in all alone on Anderson. But hey, whatever works.

I just love seeing Pacioretty playing again and looking like that dominant REAL power forward we all knew he could be. Gomez made a statement with his game. And Gallagher...it's tough knowing he's gotta go back to Junior but I can't wait to see him at the WJC.

Back at it tomorrow, against the Sens again.

We could all use a little piece of sunshine right now...

I don't do April Fool's shit.

And in the gloomy dirty days of early Spring, the last thing anyone needs is some stupid prank to make one's day worse.

I think the "panic" that has hit the fanbase over a few crappy games is a little premature. While everyone is awestruck at the Leafs grasping at their final few playoff straws (good luck with that) forgetting that teams above them are also winning games and therefore balancing out the standings so nothing really changes (see the Calgary Flames), a small wonderful miracle has cut through the doom and gloom to bring a smile to our faces. Today, Max Pacioretty stepped onto the ice to begin his rehab training for the first time since Chara recklessly broke his neck.

The child is blessed.

It might be a surprise to everyone who doesn't know Max Pacioretty that he's able to return to his skates so early. Considering he commonly plays with whatever injury he has and seems to actually use whatever pain as a tool to keep himself focused, Jacques Martin proclaiming that it probably won't be so far fetched to see him return to the game he loves sooner than later must be wonderful news to his team. People will question if he's mentally willing to do so, and whether or not the horrific hit will be on his mind so much so that it'll affect his game. I say don't worry. All the proof you need is the fact that despite the danger of getting "shot" again by Wisniewski he goes right back down there to the front of the net, busted ribs and all. Fact is one of the first things he did when he woke up in hospital was talk to his trainer about training plans so he could recover and return to the ice as soon as possible. I'm sure there are still some douchebag Bruins fans who think he did the biggest dive ever, regardless of the broken neck and his crumpled unconscious body on the ice. To which I say "fuck you". Just because Savard's brain was turned to mush thanks to consecutive hits to his head, doesn't mean Max's head is in the same category. Oh look the Red Sox are back, shouldn't your attention be completely on the ballpark?

Just remember: millimeters from having his career ended at the hands of that over-aggressive manchild who would have been suspended if the Bruins didn't have their hands in the back pocket of the NHL. Remember that, watch him skate with those long lanky legs of his and smile. And then say "in your fat ugly face, NHL". Max Pacioretty is Batman, and broken bones won't keep him down.

Mark Recchi probably shit in his Depends.
(Bonus sunshine and rainbows: Markov!)

Habs 4, Booins 1: Beauty and the Beast

He's a beautiful boy. He's our baby power forward. When I see him I see Mike McPhee with a hint of Brian Skrudland in OT during the playoffs.

I'm a little out of sorts right now. Fact is, it takes a lot to make me cry and I was in tears. And when they had him in the stretcher and Carey Price put his hand on his arm, I lost it. I bawled.

All this on the very day Todd Bertuzzi ended Steve Moore's career. We've come a long way to go nowhere, NHL. Just like my dog when he chases his tail. It's never ending.

We should be talking about Lars Eller, who together with linemates Andrei Kostitsyn and Travis Moen have something like 17 points in 6 games. They were all over the Bruins every time they touched the ice. They were intense, quick, they beat them will skill and toughness. Eller was responsible for the 2 even strength goals in the first period.

We should be talking about Brian Gionta. The little captain who could has now scored a goal in every game against the Bruins this year. His powerplay goal in the 2nd made it 3-0 and started planting seeds of doubt into the Bruins.

We should be talking about James Wisniewski, who added another powerplay goal to make it 4-0 and completely crush the spirit of the Bears. Sure the cage is still getting in the way but he's still a better defenceman with the cage on than Bergeron will ever be.

We should be talking about the dominating effort by the Habs, who played the way they always play against this team when they win instead of that gong show last game. We should be talking about Scott Gomez, who played like he saw the Stanley Cup waiting for him around the corner. We should be talking about Ryan White, who stood up for Subban and introduced his fists to Boychuk's face. We should be talking about Carey Price's 32nd win of the season and the Habs' 5th in a row. We should be talking about the strong defence, or how Brent Sopel hasn't been in a loss yet. We should be talking about Paul Mara.

Instead we're left talking about the ugly side of this sport. We're talking about an extra shove with 15 seconds remaining in the 2nd period that left Kevin Weekes thoroughly disgusted on NHLNetwork for how unnecessary it all was. This while Blob McKenzie gathers tweets from his colleagues to prove a point that he thinks it wasn't dirty. Funny that, 'cause I'm sure you could easily gather a collection of quotes on how various serial killers were "nice guys" too.

Carey Price said it best, that there's no excuse, they all know where they are on the rink. Especially a veteran like Chara. The man must be an idiot. And to come out (well he was hiding on the bus, but the Boston PR guys told him to come out) and basically blame the victim was as classless as can be. But don't worry, Chara. Damien Cox is blaming THE RINK! That's like running over a guy with your car then getting out to yell at the guy for hitting your windshield.

I'm sure Brad Marchand thought he was diving.

And there I was ready to credit the Bruins for keeping quiet in the 3rd and basically hoping it ends quickly when Lucic prodded Pouliot with 2 minutes left in the game and wanted to fight him while Horton smirked in Subban's face. (What an ugly fuck he is). You know what Bruins? Take you classless asses back to Beantown and drown in your chowdah. Even most of the Bruins fans were disgusted by Chara's actions tonight. They know. They've been through Marc Savard and Patrice Bergeron. (Bergeron acted more captainly than the giant petulant child post-game with his comments so kudos to him).

While Pacioretty spends a night at the Montreal General with his parents by his side, I hope Chara goes home and hugs his children and Blob McKenzie calls his son to see how he's doing with his hockey career. Tonight, Pacioretty could have had his neck broken on that divider. Tonight, Pacioretty's career could have ended.

Habs 3, T(h)rashers 1, Price 40, The System 1

My what empty seats you have, Atlanta...

Sometimes I think it's sad there's more people who jump out of their seats to cheer when the visiting team scores. Then I remembered who the Habs were playing. So fuck it. Hope you like Winnipeg, Evander.

Perhaps the move will shut up guys like Anthony Stewart, who's ridiculous crosscheck on VETERAN OLD MAN HAMR after he shoveled the puck to the corner once the end-of-period whistle blew because he raged it was a slapshot at him. And they say PK is disrespectful? For one if Hamr COULD muscle a slapshot, he'd actually be a danger. The fact is your statement rings the bells of sour grapes as Hamr can't physically slap the puck enough to get any velocity on it.

Stewart's probably just angry Cage Face made him pay for it.

Down at the Opry: Carey Price, center stage. Flu be gone, 40 saves, first star. Didn't seem too pissed he lost a shutout bid. That's win number 29!

Hammer Horror special: Coach Ramsay looks like he belongs on Mummies Alive. And what's up with the 5-man forecheck?

EA Sports mispronunciation: Pacioretty IS the power forward this team's been looking for. And he's a REAL power forward. Not those "goons" they call power forwards, or that pillowy soft Penner... Two strides and he's down the ice already. That backhand usually works too.

BOOM: Yes they were outhit and outshot, but did you see any effective hits like the sequence where White went to hit on the forecheck that setup Mara for a perfect open-ice hit which turned over the puck and set up Desharnais for a scoring chance that was negated by the Thrashers taking a penalty on him? It's more about what you do with it that counts more than the stats.

Remember which side you're on: Momentary lapse on Sopel's part to suicide pass the puck that led to Antropov's goal.

You suck: Always a special place reserved for the officials right here. Especially the official who pushed Desharnais over. We know who you're rooting for. Also hey O'Halloran? WHAT IS INTERFERENCE?!

Too many men: Only a problem in hockey.

Trust: Joined at the hip, Gomez totally knew Gio would get that weaksauce clearing pass of his for the empty netter.

I see someone's got a funny bone: The match up was Eller vs Maxwell. Hi, I'm the guy who stole your job. You mad bro?

Backhand to the empty net.
The Captain delivers.
Two points in the bank.
Off to Florida they go.

Habs 2, Sabres 3 (SO): Same old lesson never learned...

Only the Habs can dominate the first period of the game and leave it with a 1-0 lead off a powerplay goal then subsequently shit the bed through the next two periods and overtime and a shootout. And trust me when I say you don't want to go to a shootout with the Sabres. Forget Ryan Miller, it's their SHOOTERS you need to worry about. Vanek might look like a useless bag of pucks on the ice during the game but take away the defence and he's a ridiculous 6-for-6.

Some will say, "yea but our blueline is now all rookies save for 2.5 guys." I counter with, "yea but the BULLDOGS were actually the better defencemen!" Brutal game by Hamr with Price saving his ass way too many times in critical situations. Brutal game by Picard, who paired with Wisniewski, was just a complete and utter disaster. And every time Picard was out, Drew Stafford was out, INCLUDING the penalty kill. The coaching staff dropped the ball right there, as there's no excuse in a home game to allow that matchup to continue. Even Subban couldn't save Picard tonight. That's how bad he was!

You can thank Price for even getting a point tonigh. After going up 2-0 and outshooting the Sabres who had 5'10" 160lbs (probably all in his equipment) Jhonas Enroth in nets, the rest of the team checked out early and got outshot terribly. And with the defensive zone so chaotic, they allowed the Sabres to take control of the game. Rolling lines that made no sense, killing any momentum Desharnais' line created, allowing ridiculous scoring chances that forced Price to make ridiculous quick-strike saves...the movement was at half speed and the effort looked borderline disinterested. For a moment I thought they completely forgot there was another side to this rink. We've seen this so many times before yet they never learn!

A win tonight would have vaulted the Habs to 3rd place, first in the Northeast as the Leafs actually did the Habs a favour and WON a game against Boston. But half these guys can't his the broad side of a barn. Instead, it's a tie for first in the Northeast as the Habs pack their bags and head off to Edmonton.

Anyway, interesting factoid: since the brawl, the Bruins have not won a single game nor managed to get a single point since, while the Habs have taken a point out of each and a full two Saturday against the Leaf. Obviously they played the Red Wings twice but hey we were told that after the bully-fest, the Bruins would crush everyone on their way to the Stanley Cup... Perhaps facing the Red Wings twice was their punishment? Oh did I mention the Bruins are quite healthy while the Habs are patched together and have been patched together with Bulldogs?

It's something people really fail to mention. That the Habs are where they are in the standings with this roster speaks volumes to their prospects and development. And the fact that it's the Bulldogs who are really stepping up in these games rarely gets noticed. It's unfortunate that the veterans on this team aren't matching the play of these rookies... However we're seeing an emergence of who can be an impact player on this team, and how a few veterans are ending up on the "expendable" list.

Coconuts

I do wish I were there right now... I have family in Florida. My mom's semi-estranged sister and her family have lived there for I guess nearly 30 years now. We used to visit them often, and then things went bad between us concerning their late mother (long story). But on this sunny Sunday, the only waterfront I get to see is the icy shores of the St-Lawrence river.

We went skating yesterday on it!

Sadly for Max Pacioretty, the only waterfront he'll get is the smokey, factory strewn shores of Lake Ontario, as the Habs finally sent him down into the warm, welcoming arms of Guy Boucher to fix our lost and wandering first round manapult. You're in good hands, Max! And a welcoming edition to your former linemate Ben Maxwell, who's been heating up recently.

Edit! Holy crap! Maxwell is now up with the Habs! And Dagger's back down with the Bulldogs too for conditioning. What took you so fast, Habs? Help us, Obi-wan Guy Boucher! You're our only hope!


It's currently a lovely -5 degrees celcius here, and I'm going to stuff my face silly at Verses tonight (part of the Happening Gourmand). It's 24 degrees celcius in Flordia, and maybe good for the Habs in that there's supposed to be a few rain storms hitting the area to keep them focused. Just because you're on the beach doesn't mean you get to forget the lovely display of team hockey you showed us the past two days!

Habs 1, Pens 3: The Sleeping Bulldog

You know you're in trouble when even Pleky looks like he has nothing left in the tank and chugs down the ice.

About the only guy who looks like he's got a jet engine attached to his ass is Pacioretty. He was everyhwere tonight, offensive and defensive, using his long spaghetti legs to power his way around. But the Pens had their plan, and well Habs kept their heads up, rolled up the socks, and tried to match it with the gas running to an absolute low. If the game would have been tomorrow, the outcome would have been a bit more balanced. Habs were like Columbus last night, only the difference was a good goalie not giving up 5 goals against. (At 44th overall? Really Habs circa 1996? And he's got his name on the Cup because he relieved Fleury for Game 5. Talk about a sweet deal eh).

Valiant
- I think Price has faced more rubber in the past two weeks than he did all year last year. And a double back-to-back? I'm thinking a vacation was due, Jacques...but there wasn't much choice as Jaro doesn't really handle the Crosby-Malkin show too well. And Price was a victim of a sleeping whistle on the second "goal". (FUCK YOU REF!)
- The "high glove" thing is blown way out of proportion. Especially on curve balls.
- Pacioretty off a perfect drop pass by Sergei for his goal was fantastic. And that's 2 assists for Sergei!
- Though Sergei's "lower body injury" was very apparent in how he was skating. However he adjusted himself accordingly to move over to the back end off his line instead of dealing with the rushes unless he saw an opening that didn't require too much pressure on his feet. He was great on the PK though you could see the ankle affected his pivoting. Didn't look out of place at all with Cammy and Pleky. And picked up a new tool: ploughing through people to keep the puck alive and some pressure on.
- Hammer was like a zombie. I'm afraid he's gonna drop dead by Christmas...
- He may have been tired but Pleky's "fuck off" shrug on Crosby made me smile.
- Rupp's late cheap hit from behind on Patches better not have aggravated his shoulder. Doubt he'll even get suspended for it too. Didn't even get a penalty (FUCK YOU REF x2!). Newsflash! He was only dizzy! Praise the Lord!
- "How to Hit Someone" by Travis Moen should be a required reading for everyone. (You too Rupp. Jerk.) Ryan White appears to keep this book in his back pocket.
- Blah blah blah Crosby is the greatest. Whatever. Will he ever man up and play for the team he loves one day or will he stay forever in Steelers Town? Only the Salary Cap knows!
- Mmmmalkin seemed more asleep than the Habs. Saving himself for tomorrow I guess?
- Desharnais, who was brought over by limo because of the Thanskgiving weekend travel problems almost got a goal!
- Price's away jersey is looking like Gary Cheever's mask.
- Fleury has a tendency to make saves look better (harder?) than they are. I mean, really? Rhino pretty much took 2 years to aim for that glove. If that were Cammy, he would have owned your ass (or shot too high).
- BabyPyatt's face is a mess from yesterday's (missed) high stick! Poor BabyPyatt!
- With Andrei out after blocking that shot last night, Habs are up to 30 million off the payroll. Stunning.
- You know you're tired when: hockey sticks look like 2-by-4s

A 3-1 loss with this lineup in this situation against the Cup champions and 1st round draft presents? Yea, nothing to be ashamed of. They didn't give up, they competed, and the wide-eyed Bulldogs grinded it out to the best of their abilities while Price did his job in the back (games like these that his puck moving abilities really help). It's very telling when while heading for the room after the second period, they were dragging their sticks behind them and barely made it to the door. With a little less fatigue, it would have been a whole different game with the same effort. Definitely would have been better than the flu-fest last time! (Actually it was better).

Who knows if Ovechkin will play Saturday after his hit from behind on Kaleta. Then again, it was Kaleta...so maybe he'll get a medal. Then again, he was tossed. Oh who am I kidding, it's Ovechkin! He'll probably get fined again. Colin Campbell will probably just spin the wheel. And by wheel I mean the special one for superstars (the one with "suspension" that's about as thick as a line.

Habs 5, Islanders 1: A New York warm up

Yes, the Islanders played to a tough shootout victory last night and they looked it. Habs played to a quiet shootout victory the night before that and had a good rest between and looked it. But what can you say. When in a slump, hope the Thrashers and Islanders come in to bring the suck. It worked.

Over the course of the past few games the shots against got lower and lower, which is great, because the forwards had the puck more and the defence was forcing everything wide. Tonight they added a new tool to the shed: goalie protection. Shots rarely got to Jaro tonight, and those that did were seen all the way. They also kept people from walking out in front too much (but when they did they were either neutralized or just shot wide from fatigue).

It's nice to see the defence be aware for once. No more kicking pucks in your own net by a stunned and annoyed goalie. Reason for this? Positioning. Movement. If you're standing still unaware at how your foot is angled towards the net, you will be burned. If you're running about overwhelmed you will plotz. And with Jaro's problematic rebounds, it's good to see the awareness of the defence when the puck actually came to him and bounced out to the slot that they would whack it out of harms way. The active stick, it works.

Yea it was another quiet night, and Jaro probably grabbed a beer.

But... "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do." (Emerson). So yea, the Habs took the foot off the gas in the 3rd, and Jaro showed us just how much he sucks at playing the puck to break his own shutout bid while on the powerplay, and gave the Islanders a shmidgin of energy. Nothing like a good ol' error to remind us just how easy the tides can turn in a hockey game. Hey ya gotta keep it interesting, right?

That or I guess they really did have a beer in the room before coming out.

W00T!
- Sorry Biron, you're not Billy Smith.
- Uh huh... With two uneventful games for our goalie, it didn't take long for the Price bashers to come out and spew their bile. Funny how they were quiet when he was stealing games while making the 40 shot saves earlier. That goes double for the Gazette's Hickey...
- Cammy's PP goal using his Bret Hull knee shot! IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZER!
- Bergeron collected some gold and change tonight. He's still a little weird when he's being forechecked though.
- Chipper came to his aid when Jackson punched Bergeron while defending, only somehow ended up fighting Thompson.
- Tavares should learn those slick OHL moves really don't work in the NHL too well. But I'm happy he's not a Leaf or we'd never hear the end of it. They'd probably ruin him anyway.
- Streit stays out for the entire Islanders powerplay. No wonder his ice time is so high.
- Metro's back! Metro's back! And he's still awesome! And got the first star!
- Patches scored a la Kovy Spin from the slot.
- I never noticed that Dagger is kind of tall...
- If Gomez keeps scoring, his parents won't leave.
- Keep this type of play up when the Rags come in Saturday and then I'll be absolutely impressed.