Sometimes, licking a pole in -40 weather is what it's like to be a Habs fan.
Hey Team Canada. I hear every one of you droogs selecting it prefer Jamie Benn over Milan Lucic except of course Chiarelli who can go fuck himself if he thinks Lucic is better. That's like saying "I prefer the large slug over the quick sniper on extra-large ice where mobility and skill will be important". Oh wait! That's exactly what he's saying!
And just think, if Kunitz's "mystical" chemistry with Crosby punches him a ticket to Sochi, how about Tyler "Miley Cyrus" Seguin with Benn? Oh right, you don't like him. Never mind. Goals and speed are so overrated on big ice anyway.
- FoxStars used the term "vaselinity". That with Seguin's tongue and I feel like I need to clean my TV screen.
- PK Subban giving Lindy Ruff a refresher course on why he should be on Team Canada. Now I have a four point night. Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho.
- Hey icing. I hate you. Seguin with a completely open Jamie Benn, however, loves you. (Re. I still hate you).
- Pacioretty slipped through the Stars with much vaselinity for a breakaway goal. Still sucks in shootouts though.
- Also what an amazing assist by Subban on that goal. Take notes, other defensemen. This is how you clear the zone instead of getting forever trapped behind your net on the boards--oh what never mind, you'll never learn.
- Our D pairings should just be PK Subban with someone else. He can take it.
- And PK Subban is doing this awesome stuff stuck babysitting Frankie Bubbles, by the way...
- EVERY FUCKING TIME MURRAY AND DIAZ GET ON THE ICE, BAD SHIT HAPPENS.
- That penalty shot was bullshit. Also it's Nichushkin. He would have scored whilst fanning on his shot.
- This game probably would have ended 5-2 or 5-3 (because Seguin-Bomb) if the Habs would have stopped allowing the Stars to enter the zone with IMPUNITY. Also what the hell is with the 50 people in Price's crease. Get the fuck out and do your jobs!
- Speaking of which, there was always someone's butt in Price's face, and not just Garbutt's.
- We had an Erik Cole vs Douglas Murray footrace and it was...even.
- Similarly we had Douglas Murray vs Tyler Seguin footrace/match up and it was omfgwhatareyoudoingontheice horrible.
- All fans who bang on the glass should be using their heads.
- Since causing that (bullshit) penalty shot, Gorges was incredible. Actually it was the first time I felt I saw 2010 Gorges. I hope he stays! I missed 2010 Gorges...
- Remember Patrik Stefan? He who essentially murdered the Stars in the playoffs by walking to an empty Oilers' net and fucked it up and they lost? That's what Desharnais reminded me of on those breakaways. I mean Lehtonen was flat on the fucking ice. LIFT THE PUCK. Also NO TOE DRAG JUST SHOOT.
- I'm still laughing at the Stars who think the puck in Price's crotch a full foot in front of the crease was a goal. Try selling that harder next time, jokes.
- I'm sure Antoine Roussel's visor is on the IR now thanks to Travis Moen's fists. But +1 for playing Guile's Theme you nerds.
- It's been a while because coaching decided the best player to fuck around with to "get other lines going" was Lars Eller but KNEEL BEFORE LARS. That goal? I had Good Kovalev flashbacks.
- Hilarious: people actually think Lehtonen should have had that. Are you kidding me? Do you know hockey?
- Playing with fire: After every Habs goal, staff sent out Murray-Diaz pairing because we obviously think having hair is completely overrated.
- Pacioretty actually scored the empty netter. This is not a drill!
The Stars were apparently red hot and it showed. They just gave up on defense and went balls to the walls all out on offense. Actually their idea of defense was skating into people. Thankfully Habs realized this and decided they could score some goals here, or it would have probably ended poorly in OT. Again.
Still some terribly glaring issues, though. And the coaching staff repeating costly errors...