Habs 5, Bolts 3: Playoffs in sight

This is how you're supposed to play now, team. It doesn't matter that you scored on your own net twice (well, a goal and an assist) because there really wasn't any fear that the Lightning were going to suddenly take command of this game. There was primary and secondary (tertiary?) scoring. A powerplay goal. Solid defense with zero backing up and maybe one or two lapses but nothing too drastic. None of that stupid "score 2 and sit on the goalie all night" crap. Instead you're supposed to compliment your goaltending just like tonight. Like what RDS said, when this team is MOVING they look like the best team in the League.

It only took them the entire season to get it eh?

Gomez had a goal and two assists and cracked the 50 points mark. Each one of those three points was definitely worth a million bucks each. Metro in his 400th game now has the most powerplay goals on the team, and has a career high 15 goals. Benoit Pouliot goes "Gui who?" and Darche Vader used the force and scared away Niittymaki. Gave us free wings. too!

Of course the best pass of the evening was Hal Gill to Steven Stamkos on the powerplay. Oops, wrong team!

That's ok Hal, we still love you. Not like it was a go-ahead goal or anything anyway.

No idea where Lecavalier was all night. They mentioned his name but I only noticed him when he tripped over Jaro and hurt himself. I mean, St-Louis looked to be concussed the previous game but he was out there tonight and scored a gorgeous goal like he usually does. But Lecav? Tanguay? Anyone there? No? Good.

We all got a scare when a collision looked to have taken out Pleky's knee but seems it was only a charleyhorse or something as Pleky returned almost immediately. Injures and this team are unbelievable this year...

Scoreboard watching, Habs still in 7th with 72 points. Boston lost in OT so they're stil stuck in 8th. Thanking the Leafs makes us feel dirty. Philly unfortunately won, but nothing would have moved anyway. Nashville did us all a favour by beating the Thrashers. And while Florida won in the shootout they're still stuck down in 12th. I looked at this week's schedule and there's a definitely possibility Les Boys can grab 6 huge points this week (though it appears Drouin-deslauriers has had an epiphany and may be tough to beat, depending how tired he is come Thursday). Bruins are in big trouble but it could go to OT. They're annoying like that.

By the way, the GMs talking at the Head Shots commitee sound like a train of idiots capped off by king idiot himself, Colin Campbell. I really don't think they get it...

Habs 4, Kings 2: Not what we were sold on

Everybody Wang Chung tonight...

We were told the Kings were young, solid, strong, and quick. Surely that 80 points, 5th in the West record made that sound correct. Jonathan Quick leads the League in the stupid stat of 35 wins. Drew Doughty was Mr. Wonderful and would bury us in the powerplays.

Well, they sure didn't look like that description.

The Kings looked out of it. Perhaps still suffering the distate of their previous loss? Whatever it was they didn't look like a team that had 80 points and sat comfy as the 5th in the West. They looked slow more times than not, easily kept to the outside and fell into the gameplan the Habs set up. Jonathan Quick looked as shaky as his save percentage indicated. Mr. Wonderful? I honestly didn't even notice him until they showed his face on TV as he was sitting on the bench. Olympic hangover evident.

The description people made of them had them sounding like the Penguins or the Blackhawks. Instead they looked like the Thrashers or the Islanders...

It took 22 seconds for Gionta to smack in the rebound. Habs barely allowed them to sniff the net back in their zone until Kopitar smoked by everyone to dipsy doodle around Jaro. (Yes, Jaro. What's that message? "Good work, now go sit on the bench." Very lucky the Kings are not like the physical goons of the Sharks or this would have been fugly. Hope it didn't mess with Price's mojo). Dominic Moore made Quick look Not-So-Quick with an actual shorthanded goal. Habs appeared to try to get the Kings to put up a fighting chance at getting back into the game by taking a zillion penalties, but even then, the Habs are so used to being shorthanded it didn't matter.

Third period started a bit like the first, only it was Pouliot this time scoring 35 seconds in. Nothing happened for the rest of the period until Modin did the same cut-across goal as Kopitar (minus the coast-to-coast rush) but all that did was wake up the Habs as deja vu from Thursday was settling in. You know, the DON'T FUCK THIS UP YOU CAN BEAT THIS TEAM thing? Yea, then the Kings pulled Quick and Pleky hit the empty net.

Game. Are we back in 8th?

Glenn Healy can fuck off too. The three stars should have been the entire Gomez-Gionta-Pouliot line. Hell, Dominic Moore maybe deserved a star.

The big, bad Ducks got shutout by the Coyotes today. The Ducks are not like the Kings, but more like the Sharks. We only hope they're suffering from massive Olympic hangover...

Habs 4, Bruins 1: Olympic hangover

One down, eighteen games to go. Funny how that snuck up on us all, eh?

The Bruins have officially bored their home crowd to death. Sometimes I think they're worse than the Devils in that DEFENSE FIRST shell of Claude Julien. We make fun of Lemaire and Martin for that system, but what about him? When the most exciting offense you get is coming from old man Recchi, there's something wrong. Even teacher's pet Michael Ryder has turned back into the lame Michael Ryder Bob Gainey didn't want to sign. There's a very solid reason why he lost his spot to Sergei Kostitsyn...

It's weird seeing regular hockey now. There are no cowbells. There's no automatic icing. I wish we had brought over the crease violation rule but whatever. The "U!S!A!" chant was redundant, especially considering there are more Canadians on the Bruins than Americans... Congrats, Bruins. You have an Olympic benchwarmer.

And after using two periods to find the magic again, Habs exploded on Tuukka Rask for 4 unanswered goals including a sad empty netter just as Rask had left (poor kid). I didn't even realize the net was empty. Actually I don't even think Pouliot knew the net was empty until he just happened to look up before dumping it in.

Price hasn't lost a beat. Having his buddy Rask on the other end of the rink was interesting too. And you know Price is comfy when he stickhandles around a forechecker and calmly passes the puck to his defenceman.

Andrei Kostitsyn is shaking off the rust. And playing on the line with his brother this time is perfect.

HMCS Hal Gill was huge.

Andrei Markov didn't look like the man we saw struggle through the Olympics.

And as the first and second line weren't eble to capitalize or finish, the third and fourth line picked up the slack. Metro with his wonderful ability to destroy his former teams (reason number 1 on why Glen Metropolit must remain a Hab: we need the goals on the Bruins, Flyers, Capitals, Thrashers, etc). The Concordia in me is still capable of cheering for the McGill in Darche Vader. I really like Lapierre with Moore and Moen, even if I was a tad lukewarm on the trade for Moore. If it lights a fire under Lapierre's ass, then I'm happy. I WILL BE VERY SAD IF TOM PYATT GOES BACK TO HAMILTON YOU HEAR ME, JACQUES?! Especially if he's replaced with Dagger or Bergeron.

(Edit: Nevermind... Dagger's been traded to the Blues for a U of Michigan boy. I'll miss those eyebrows but I'm intrigued by this Palushaj kid. HE GOES TO THE NET!)

You dropped something, Tuukka.

Habs head West. It won't be easy...but we'll get to see Saku again!

Check the calendar

No, it's not Friday the 13th!

Why is that important? Because the Habs have some unreal win record when it's Friday the 13th. Well today wasn't the 13th but they still surprised the world with a solid effort for a good win over the Devils in New Jersey on a Friday. And it's been 20 years since they won on a Friday in New Jersey.

Does it surprise me? No, not really. I'll be frank here. The Devils win games by scoring 1 or 2 goals. However they rarely win games when they ALLOW 3 goals. Also the style of the Devils is just like the way Coach Martini tries to get his team to play, while our boys end up being the inconsistent version of the New Jersey Devils.

So there you go, Habs. When you put your mind to it, even though you give up the first goal (cherry picker!) and your goalie appears to be made of rubber (BOING!), if you put your fucking mind to it and play smart, play hard, play good, you win. What a concept.

Oh and Mathieu Darche with a goal and an assist and solid Bulldogs-type forechecking hockey. Even without him, the Bulldogs DESTROYED Rochester 6-1! (And chased Salak from his net with 3 goals on 12 shots early). But Darche's effort behind the net, fighting off two big Devils guys, passing the puck to Markov who quickly passed it to Cammy was the highlight of the night.

Benoit Pouliot continues being our Manapult of awesome. Guimauve would have never done what he has... Slippy was back on D (and actually did good for once!) as Mara appears to have reinjured his hand. D'Agostini went out in the 3rd and grabbed the biggest man he could find to fight him (and didn't do so bad, actually managed to cut the guy). Gorges was a shot-blocking machine. And everyone protected the net instantaneously, even Markov jumped someone twice. And at the end Cammy got mugged by Price. Feel the love!

Now the boys need to win one tomorrow. The Rangers aren't a passive-aggressive team like the Devils are. If they implode again like they did last week, well this excercise will be moot. But if the Habs weasle into the playoffs and meet the Devils? Well, I wouldn't worry so much about it... But the Habs need some Ragtime revenge!

Atomic Habs

Perron: Dude! I am le home! I'll score les goals on my favourite team and RDS will love me beaucoup!
Price: ...
Habs Defence: *drooool* *zzzz*
Gomez: I make $5 per horrible back-breaking turnover.
Crowd: Boo.
Coach Payne: Crombeen! Use your Cross Chop!
Crombeen: CROMBEEEEEEEEEEN!
Moen: Uh no.
Price: ....
Conklin: You guys need me? 'Cause I'd like to go shopping for stuff.
Coach Kirk: AFJOIGJEGQPOIEJGPROWIGJWPQOWIR!!!!!!
Blues: Haha pylons. I smack your goalie and he poops pucks! Score!
Price: .....
Habs Defence: *drooool* *zzzz*
Janssen: Looooooooooose puck get! OH SHIT GOALIECOLLISION! BOOM!
Price: DRAGON PUNCH!!!
Ron Hextall somewhere: *smiles*

Pouliot: Guiwho?
Habs Defence: *drooool* *zzzz*
Gomez: Defending a 2-on-1 would cost you $10.
Crowd: Boo.
Price: Boooooooooo.

Coach Payne: Oshie! Use your Razor Leaf!
Oshie: oooSHIIIIIIIIIIIE!
Powerplay: OH SHIT!
Slippy: Barrel roll! Barrel roll! Do a barrel roll~!
Price: Goals. Score them.
Pleky: Ow. Foot.
Crowd: *GASP*
Pleky: I'm good.
Crowd: *breathes*
Hammer: Puck goes where?
Ref McMoustache: FIVE ON THREE AND NO SOUP FOR YOU!
Price: Save.
Save.
Save again.
I can't do this all night yo.
--- As seen leaving the ice
Gill: You go first.
Pleky: Nah you go first.
Gill: I insist my dear friend.
Pleky: It's ok, you can go.
Gill: Go.
Pleky: OK.

Perron: OK Bell Center crowd, I will make you love moi.
Price: Save.
Pouliot: Latenwhat?
Conklin: This feels like Edmonton.
Spacek: C is for cookie!
Cammy: I think I tipped it.
Gomez: I think I ducked. That cost you $5.
Price: Hey pulling me for an extra man DOES actually work for once... Can I be the extra man next time, Coach?
Martin: *zzz*

OVERTIME: Fail.
Crowd: What did we just witness here?

Do a barrel roll!

Hey Slippy! Yea, you #47 manning the point on the powerplay. Do a fucking barrel roll.

Don't get me wrong, though. Sens deserved this win. They were the better team. But I'll rant anyway about my team.

The first time in like forever you guys are actually given proper powerplays, in plural, because the Sens were playing like a bunch of undisciplined idiots and you can't take advantage of it. Wiffed, soft passes easily picked off. Pouliot flubbing bad and turning over the puck to give them a shorthanded goal. (And don't get me wrong, that was a stunning goal... I don't even understand how that got past Price as he was way out covering the angle. It was like a curve ball, if that's even possible with a puck. Maybe it was remote controlled). And then there's Slippy... SLC has Kuba and Picard to hate on, we've got Slippy. He shoots it wide! He bullseyes a shin pad up close! He turns over the puck right by his own net and gives Price more problems than the kid needs! He never looks where he's going or where he's sending the puck! He makes me want to kick kittens!

I mean, holy shit. I've never seen a guy like him.

At least Pouliot made up for his facepalm error and scored an immediate reply.

I knew Mike Brodeur was going to be a pain in the ass anyway from what I've seen of him when he played the Bulldogs, and the Sens protected him well. Which was more than I could say for our poor goalie who will probaby have a stress induced heartattack by the time he's 25 behind this team. Why is it so difficult to exit the zone or clear the puck? Why is it so impossible to take a pass or make a pass? It's like they're stickhandling with saplings and two-by-fours. They also displayed zero intensity in what was an important game. The Sens had their full options when in our end, forcing Price to make difficult saves what with all the bouncing pucks, traffic, stick deflections and his own teammates. Markov also has to stop giving him the puck to start the breakout...

And the powerplay is becoming predictable.

Which brings me to Jacques Martin. I really don't understand his game plan anymore. The moment Habs got some momentum, he put out the crappy fourth line. I'm guessing he forgot White wasn't on the team right now. He's so concerned with matchups that he forgets about maybe, just maybe, taking advantage of something. I think I understand now why he hasn't done well in the playoffs. If Guy Boucher were on the bench for tonight's game, he'd be standing on it, screaming, and waving a pitchfork already having skewered Slippy with it. It's kind of sad that even Kirk Muller's screams for intensity go unheard or generally get ignored. I just don't understand how they have supposedly good, intense practices, yet come to the rink and suck out all the oxygen.

Oh and I don't give a damn about Guimauve's hattrick. That twerp checked out right after training camp probably when he realized the coach wasn't going to leave him chocolates on his pillow nightly. It's Mike Ribeiro 101: When you suddenly find yourself with zero protection from the Chez Nous media, you wake up and start playing else you find yourself in Europe or selling cars for H Grégoire.

Game tomorrow in New York. If the Habs lose that one, it's going to hurt. And we already knew the goalie of tonight wouldn't play tomorrow regardless of the outcome anyway so fuck off Bob Hartley.

And on that note, here, have some twitter humor:
@BruceGarrioch Leafs floating a package for Kovalchuk and Pavelic including Blake, Bozak and Schenn and Gustavsson.

By the way, you can see a Jerry Price goalie a mile away! Watching the Pens getting destroy by the Canucks, after chasing Curry away, Alex Pechurskiy has stepped in. He's a rookie Tri-City goalie and is currently holding the fort. I thought his style looked familiar and then CBC said he was called up from the Americans (and isn't being paid either). Sure enough, there he was on the roster. Even flashes the Price-like stickhandling too. Good pick for the Pens.

Where were you when Georges Laraque scored?

401 Blue, row A, seat 13. The Herb Gardiner section.

That boom you heard was Georges Laraque Ovechkining the glass after a net scrum second's effort slammed the puck behind Marty Turco's beautiful golden pads. It was a goal of truth, justice, and all that stuff.

It was the battle of .500 teams, and it wasn't pretty. Never mind the fact the Stars suck bad and the Habs were off for four days. We all know how well they play after a break, Christmas vacation notwithstanding. Price hasn't played in like 10 days, and I don't know what these idiots do in practice that they had zero defensive structure until the mid-second. Usually you don't want to start off the game by giving up a few 2-on-1s or 3-on-1s or 4-on-2s... All while your goalie is trying to find his comfort zone and defence is standing around drooling. And to the mini-Halak fan club sitting in front of me? I don't know if you were watching warmup, but he wasn't going to stop any of that...

Toby Petersen did the craziest of fakeout passes, and Gorges fucked up covering the center anyway. Everyone and his dog thought he was going to pass. Instead, it was a wicked wrister. It was like he had a radar on his head because he was looking down the hallway when he scored.

The Stars are in a pretty bad winless slide. Combine that with the 4-day rest, it was the trap. Fortunately for the Habs, Turco sucks pretty bad. And the powerplay was 2-for-2! Even so, Hal Gill had to remind Devorski that it would be nice to call those penalties like that tripping penalty on Gorges that caused yet another odd man rush Price thankfully saved by a centimeter. He decided to wait until the 3rd period to get around to it, and ended up calling everyone on everything at once.

I do believe there's something behind you.

FOR GREAT JUSTICE
- Still outshot by significantly larger margin and outshot in every period (though tied the 2nd)...
- Do you know why Price plays the puck so much? BECAUSE HIS FUCKING DEFENCEMAN DON'T! And they don't know what to do with it when he does pass it to them. Basically his playing the puck is to eliminate or alleviate forchecking. However, he always finds himself surrounded by the other team before he finds his teammates. Nice of them to slap his pads after every error he saved or missed though.
- Also can someone please call goalie interference please? I've seen Metro called for weaker, but Price was run way too much for my liking...
- That other boom you heard was when old man Spacek sent Jamie Benn into orbit, leaving the kid wondering what planet he was on.
- No one sees Gionta, that's why he's so good at what he does. Two goals on the powerplay, right in front of the net, a one-timer and the quickest rebound goal ever, in his 500th game.
- I thought Laraque was going to take out the glass when he scored.
- Slippy did a barrel roll! My brother laughed.
- Crowd call of the night, from a guy who stood all game in the last row of the Blues my brother called the Assistant Coach, after he wasn't called for something behind the play: "Fuck you, Robidas!" Yup. Welcome home.
- So why exactly did you guys fire Dave Tippett? Considering where the Coyotes are compared to the Stars, I'm not quite sure...
- Manapult keeps scoring! And we're not the only one with terrible turnovers!
- The lady next to me was wearing a homemade Habs shirt...with Mickey Ribs' name on the back. Barf.
- Cammy decided against the spin-o-rama and it apparently worked better. Hey! Price finally got an assist!

I'm happy I finally got to see Marty Turco live and in shiny-golden padded glory. Yes he stinks pretty bad right now, but I still love him. Only saw one Marty Poke Check. No spin.

Habs still need work, but thank god they won... This could have been as shitty as last year's Ducks game after they had the week off. Doubly important because Toskala shut out the Flyers (bwah?) and Ottawa finally gave up to give Brodeur a second start who then shut out the Rangers (not surprised). We finally see 50 points and a carbon copy record as Ottawa. Freaky. And crappy that they're coming to visit Saturday.

Habs 5, Panthers 4: Win ugly

On this New Year's Eve, a blue moon shines bright, and it apparently sucked out all of Jaro's abilities. Thankfully it appears to have affected Vokoun just as much. But seriously I'm tired of people going all Jaro this and Jaro that... Even my DAD sees his problem with rebounds and his inability to freeze a puck when it needs to be frozen. And this is what he does on a consistent basis. Oddly enough his rebound problem wasn't what caused the goals, but when you're weak on two and were the victim of two breakaways, it would make us all feel better if that puck could freeze more with a one-goal game, especially when your teammates are running around and scrambling everywhere... Nevertheless, better to have him backing up Price than Sanford (who appears to be consistently injuring himself) and padding his stats on weaker teams. Wake up, people: Markov is our litmus paper.

Road trip success 6-1. We'll just forget about the Ottawa game that was gift wrapped by Kerry Fraser. Oh and Chris Fucking Lee still managed to leave his mark on tonight's game. Happy New Year's, Fucker.

Now...about staying healthy, Habs...

Peek-a-BOOOOOO

Cluck like a chicken!
- BennyPoo, may you continue doing what you do.
- Cammy! Scored on the road. I know, shocking eh? Brett Hull style from the knees.
- HMCS Hal Gill fired a torpedo, one casualty (Vokoun's confidence).
- Gomez has been inspired lately, perhaps coinciding with the impending return of his BFF Gionta?
- Horton hears a boo. Cherry picking useless entity.
- Patches played like a man possessed and had to fill in for BOTH Kostitsyns tonight as Sergei injured himself in warmup and Ballard did something to Andrei during the game (Lapierre went after him later).
- No goalies were harmed during this game both on and off the ice.
- I heard it's the first time this year the building was sold out. Sadly for the Panthers, it was all Habs fans.
- Even with Vokoun tugging on his skates, Pleky still managed to score.
- Slippy finally hits a target.
- Frolik reminds me of a hobbit, but cuter. He's just adorable.
- Two delay-of-game penalties in a row, overlapping for a 5-on-3...but it was the Panthers at fault! I know, shocking eh?

Messy and ugly, but a win and free wings to close off the season means all is right with the world.

And the dessert? Canada vs USA at the WJC! And it was a great game for our Danny "The Count" Kristo. So conflicted on my cheering tonight! Anyway it was a 4-4 game in which USA dominated and Canada looked like a bunch of children, until finally Eberle (who reminds me a lot of Pleky in how he skates and cradles the puck) did what he did last year. It ended in a shootout where everyone was scoring until Jordan Schroeder was finally stopped by Jake Allen. Tripping on the puck for a victory splat, it was another classic, regardless of how ugly it was. And I'm in love with Kristo.

Hey, ugly wins all around eh? And I'm closing out 2009 a happy fan but with an annoyingly terrible cold. Happy New Years everyone!

Habs 2, Sens 4: I have a craving for chocolate eclairs

Hey, his pads even look like eclairs

Michael Cammalleri does not like moral victories, but he does appreciate the club's history! So perhaps he'll be personally happy with being that designated Hab to have scored the 20,000th goal. A feat not so easily done for him considering it was on the road. And Habs I/O had a little contest for this to win loge tickets if you guess the player who claims this historic goal. Of course, I picked him.

(Though, my logic was that he scored both first goals against the Sens this past season more than the fact I love him and his lucky number 13, but I digress).

Oh and BennyPoo finally gets his first goal as a Hab, and takes his own hold on history for notching #20,001.

Do the world a favor and retire already, Kerry Fraser...
- To say Chris Lee blows is a given, but a game with BOTH Fraser and McMoustache? Oh my god... They'll first lull you into a feeling of "oh they'll call this old school and let the boys play" to absolute frustration when one ignores every trip, hook, and hold but call pretty much every twitch done by the Habs. And if I hear Murray or Clouston bitch about lack of powerplay time, FUCK YOU! THE HABS ARE LAST IN THE LEAGURE IN POWERPLAY OPPORTUNITIES (but first in the League on powerplay success, go figure).
- Apparently real incidental contact is allowed as opposed to phantom incidental contact, but in the end they cancel themselves out and the Sens fans vacate that horrendous parking lot happy.
- Though why Jaro's eyes were closed on that play makes me uncomfortable...
- Price is tougher than Leclair: puck to the head, went to the room for a check up or a pack of ice and came back picking the blood off his ear a few minutes later. Hey! He ropes bulls and shoots bears when he's not playing hockey. I'm sure he can take it.
- Watching D'Agostini is frustrating. Whatching Sergei try to create something with D'Agostini and Lapierre is frustrating. In the end he just tried to do it himself.
- Ahhh so many missed opportunities including a bunch while shorthanded. Chocolate Eclair seems to fall for everything. Gomez could have dropped that for Sergei, and it probably would have been a better shot at least... How do you fail a two-on-ZERO?
- I get the feeling they freak out whenever they see a wide open net.
- Good first period but it looked like a pin letting the air out of a balloon. Or an invisible anvil placed on everyone's back.
- Apparently, some lady flashed her boobs at Gio right on the glass. Stay classy. It was caught by Sportsnet but no one watches that crap network anyway so the children of the nation are probably safe.
- Cammy should take more faceoffs. He wins them more.
- Can we like omit the fourth line and just make a second first line with Sergei and Andrei centered by someone (Cammy, Gomez, Pleky, whoever works).
- Slippy...yea well you know how I feel about you. You're fired.
- What's the point of loading up with the empty netter behind you when you don't bother to do anything after even winning the faceoff eh?

Too bad Marc Trestman doesn't coach hockey. Though he probably could do it.