Habs 4, Whalerjerks 1: Go East young men

Start like you look like you're already on vacation. Lose Pacioretty to some douche who can't play defence and shoves him into the goal post. Get down 1-0. Suck around for a bit. Rely on Price to bail you out continuously. Magically pull game out of your asses.

Formula!

Ryan White is hot. Desharnais discovered he can score goals when he's not dishing to Pacioretty. Rene Bourque looked interested. Gionta with the best wrap around on an empty netter I've seen. Another 30+ shots saved. Ho hum.

And it only took an in-game 40 minute warm up.

Alright. Let's get these Olympics on. No worries, Team USA. Pacioretty will be fine in the morning, if not in an hour.

To Russia!

Habs 4, Devils 3 (SO): Try again

This is our backup goalie, guys.

Cory Schneider might have to sacrifice a goat or two to get this New Jersey shootout thing down right.

- Honestly I have no idea how to recap this game.
- I mean, after Gionta's "fuck you Jersey" goal, Habs played like idiots.
- And it was dull. And it was BORING. Coking my pasta was more interesting and exciting.
- Prust uppercut Janssen. And we all nodded in approval.
- And suddenly, the third period was full of goals!
- Obligatory Ryder goal.
- If Ryder played the way he does against the Canadiens when he played for the Canadiens, he might still be one.
- The Devils thought they had this. Lars Eller laughed.
- Then the TSN WORST PLAY IN THE SPORTS UNIVERSE FOR TODAY (really) by PK Subban turning over the puck for Elias to score happened.
- I blamed the ice. Which probably is likely. Guys were falling all over themselves.
- Hey Team Canada, yea PK turned the puck over for that goal, but Therrien put him right back out there because the Habs needed a goal to tie it back up and WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT like more often than not, they did with his help.
- Remember those long Gionta bombs from the point that never used to work? Well it worked.
- I repeat: IT'S NOT PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE FOR DESHARNAIS TO HIGH STICK A PUCK IN.
- If PK was this excited about tying a December game in New Jersey, imagine if these guys ever win the Cup?
- So why didn't Lars Eller not take more shootouts?
- Desharnais. Shootout. Cory Schneider tears.

Happy Birthday Habs!

Habs have the best record in the East over the last 10 games and are 2nd best in the NHL (Sharks are first). When Therrien said they want to coach the best team in the East, he wasn't kidding eh? Of course it helps he finally started doing things like what we were all screaming about. You know, by playing PK Subban more.

Hey look! Remember the Bruins? Yea those fuckwits are up tomorrow.

Smashing records

As the Bulldogs sit pretty on the top of their Division and casually destroyed last year's leader the Manitoba Moose today 6-2 (is that what happens when you lose Jason Krog?) they're also casually smashing records.

By smashing the Moose, they now have 112 points which smashes the franchise record for most points earned in a season. David Desharnais' 3-point game (goal and two assists) broke the record last set by Jason Chimera for points by a Bulldogs player in a single season with 78 points. The win had Cedrick tie the most wins by a goalie record at 28 (tied with Yann Danis). Yannick Weber's 2 goals now gives him 23 for a career, which ties him with Andrei Benoit for the franchise record of all-time goals by a Bulldogs defenceman.

Oh and HUNTER BISHOP scored. Glorious day!

Here's another kicker: The Bulldogs have now tied the franchise record for fewest regulation losses in a season as they have only suffered defeat 16 times (they have 3 games left to play this season so they either smashed it or will tie it). No idea how many shootout/OT losses they have but I don't think it's that much. The shootout is different in the AHL.

Can you imagine what Guy Boucher could do with the Habs? With Price and Jaro in nets. With the lineup we have. The name of the game is "attack attack attack". None of this score one and stand around til the end. Sure the Bulldogs have their own brainfarts, but less so than the Habs do. Also if you notice the pattern, the majority of their goals are built on speed, effort, crashing the net, and being aware to find space behind defenders. They got the D pitching in in a major way as well, and not just firing blanks from the blue line. On Weber's 2nd goal tonight, he looked like a right-winger flying down the side and rifled it over the shoulder of the netminder. It was a 3-on-2 as well.

For one, if Boucher coached the Habs, it wouldn't have taken nearly 70 games to figure out how to win...

Habs 5, Pens 3: In which we suckerpunch you and steal your lunch money

When I saw the lineup for today's afternoon game I said that I hope they make it interesting at the very least. I know the Pens don't perform so good in afternoon games, so Jacques Martin's "sleep them to death" system would have been horrible. Thankfully it looks like they were following Guy Boucher's system. Add a little bit of luck to it, and we got free wings!

Thirty seconds in and Craig Simpson is already preparing his speech about the kids on line 4 and how Crosby will eat them alive once Disco Dan gets his matchups working when Darch collides with wandering Fleury behind the net and Pleky scores. If Chris Lee were reffing, he'd be all over that. Marouelli was probably just shocked at the forchecking Habs to notice. I'm actually more shocked the 5 Pens players standing around looking at the ref didn't just turn around and maul Darche...

Not long after Staal crashes the crease and Dupuis flings in the rebound. They looked at it but it was a good goal regardless.

I muted the game and put yakety sax on for a good five minutes and nearly died laughing. It was that kind of afternoon. Think of the weirdest things this side of Kronwall's skate blade coming off during play. It was that kind of weird. Players falling down, falling over each other, Gorges' stick getting stuck in between two glass planks, Fleury throwing a fit every time Ryan White did his job, etc... It started in warmup when Gomez took a puck off the back of the head and realized he was bleeding. My mom even called me from Ikea saying that she's making a leg of lamb and wants me to come over for dinner. Talk about random.

Zebras love watching the Habs too!

All hail we got a fourth line!
- Brrrrrrrrock Trotter makes his debut, gets 5 shots on goal (more than any player on the whole ice), draws 3 penalties, nearly scores but is stopped first by Jay McKee and then by a post, and gets an interview with Cassie Campbell. He's so pro!
- Desharnais proves someone can be shorter than Brian Gionta. Almost scores too.
- Ryan White gets attacked by Old Man Guerin for checking Malkin clean and legal. Didn't know Malkin's honor needed protecting. Either way, Guerin got owned by a kid 20 years younger than him.
- When a flying Gio scored and knocked himself out into the boards I thought "Great! Now we can't score without injuring ourselves!" You could see the stars rotating around his head.
- Gio kneeling on his second goal doesn't make him any shorter either.
- Just as Craig Simpson was chewing out Gomez for not getting any goals lately he scores on the powerplay.
- And when Markov was down on the ice after falling awkward and pulling his back, the entire crowd, bench, and coaches were silent with an "oh shit" look on their faces. You could hear a mouse fart from the basement. I saw our standings drop by 10. Then he rose like Jesus and the crowd rejoiced. The PA guy played Tragically Hip's "Courage".
- Jaro no likes breakaways. Seeing Malkin coming at him was like watching a squirrel starring at a car before it hits him.
- And the 2-on-1 was saved by old man Spacek of all people, otherwise Jaro's short legs no make the save.
- Outshooting the Pens by a 10:1 margin has something to do with things. Offensive hockey works, Jacques! You should try it more often!
- Disco Dan tried to take advantage of our Kids Line by slipping Crosby and Malkin over the boards. Never underestimate the Bulldogs, Dan. Probably too busy with the lucky burritos.
- When Darche Vader scores, Montreal is happy. Fleury is not.
- It's not every day we hear a Habs goalie makes 18 saves for a win.
- This team is just so much happier when Ryan White is on it. He's like a cherry-faced bundle of happy energy.

Bottom line is the Bulldogs kids are uncorrupted by Coach Martini.

Bruins lost again to the Canucks in a shootout even while launching 40+ shots at Luongo. Fucking annoying! I don't want them to end their streak tomorrow. Habs better win! If there are teams I can't stand losing to, the Bruins are top of that list.

Habs call out for your support!

The Canadiens have 6 very deserving players on the All-Star ballots this year: Carey Price showing his determination to be the best, Mike Komisarek ready to be the only one who will probably actually PLAY defense at the game, Andrei Markov aiming to make it a 2nd time, Saku Koivu wanting to show off why we love him, Alex Kovalev ready to dazzle with his magic, and Alex "my career is back on track" Tanguay who just got himself the October Molson Cup. Habs fans everywhere, myself included, will be stuffing those ballots to ensure they all get in! I know, I know, the All-Star Game is dull and cheap, where no one hits and no one defends and the score makes Bettyman wishing it were like that all the time. But hey, at least if you get Komisaurus in, there's a guarantee someone's going down! Maybe an All-Star Brawl? God bless him.

But there's also a write-in option, and I'm vying to send in Tom Kostopoulos! Players like TK are important, and are generally overlooked. But TK has been making waves. There hasn't been a night on RDS where Demers and Co haven't raved about his wonderful work ethic, even when he had an off night. An All-Star Game full of Crosbys is BORING. Throw in a guy like TK, and you'll be in for a whole new exhibition.

Besides, if Mickey Ribs could make it.... *shudders*

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Coach Hitchcock presents new ideas to his team...

Finally, this long-ass week is coming to an end and FINALLY this whacked out schedule is bringing us some Habs games! Two, actually. First up, Les Boys wander into Columbus where Rick Nash, woah, and his company are awaiting to fire 3 rounds rapid. Halak will take this one. Been a while since we've seen him other than skating around with a big smile on his face and joining in on the victory pileups. We just hope the team doesn't come out dead like the last time they had a week off... which was two weeks ago. Seriously? Who made this schedule?!

Saturday night! Habs vs Leafs! Hockey Hall of Fame Wonder Weekend game! Price takes this one, seeing as the "comeback kids" will be hosting the "comeback men", and I'm sure he's expecting his usual 40 shots on goal as per quota with Habs/Leafs games. Keeps him sharp. Thanks, Toronto!

Extra bit o' news: Glad they saw what I saw. The Canadiens signed my favourite little centerman, David Desharnais, to a two-year two way contract. Never judge the undrafted little guy who tore through every league he's been in.

Swedes Play Hockey in Giant Golf Balls

I know this isn't about the Habs but it was a lazy Sunday and I had nothing else to do but flip channels. Oh, I did some laundry actually. That's always good to do. Anyway, the Sens and Pens were playing overseas in what looked like a giant golf ball or a crashed Death Star and I thought "Hey! It's hockey! I don't like either team but Fleury is a funny guy so maybe I'll watch it and drink some tea."

Ya, um... Hartsburg? Is that your new tactic to getting the Sens to play hard by having everyone all over the place? Whatever works for you, man.

Also noticed Therrien has the Pens playing just like he had the Canadiens play. In other words: badly. Have fun with Fedotenko and Satan.

In other news:
The Hamilton Bulldogs beat the Toronto Marlies and won the Iceberg Cup from some preseason mini tournament thing, and Desharnais got MVP. And for the record, I really hope the Habs give this little guy a serious look one day. He may be small but he's damn good!

Habs 5, Sens lose, I get a free game

Best preseason game ever? And I thought listening to Les Boys beat the Wings with a shootout and a greenhorn in nets was exciting! Of course it's extra special for me because this was my first live game ever. I have never seen the Canadiens play except on tv. I can't really count that Old Timers game either. All I remember about that: it's was boring, I saw Lafleur, it was in the Forum. Of course I've been inside the Bell Center, when it was called the Molson Center. Had my graduation on the ice. Saw the Tragically Hip and the Rheostatics play live. For a hockey game? Let's just say you don't know live hockey games until you've gone to the Bell Center.

How do we start off? Warm up skate, the crowd's cheering, the music is rocking. Start of the game, a full house is signing the anthem loud and proud. (Suck on that, Bloc). Then the boys warmup in the first, and proceed to slaughter the competition with a 5-0 shutout. As mentioned before, I have my tickets in the Grey section, which is actually a bit higher than the banners. I'm literally in the rafters. However the view is just phenomenal. Here I was thinking I'd need a radio to understand what was going on, or would need altitude pills. But no, players are a good visible size and I can ever see their numbers and almost read their names. Even though it's a preseason game, the whole place was electric. To Montreal, every game counts.

Here are some of my impressions of tonight's performance:
- Halak really needs to work on his puck handling... Oh my god, it got to the point where every time he wandered out I was cringing, hoping nothing bad would happen. (Usually missed the pucks anyway). Other than that, looked better in nets, didn't go down too early in the butterfly this time, though the few shots he faced were mostly pretty easy to save anyway.
- Desharnais won a lot of faceoffs from what I could see. (63% according to the stats, highest on the Canadiens side, who are usually pretty bad at faceoffs anyway). I like this little guy! He buzzes round, gets to the net, gets into the play. And he's 5'5".
- D'agostini, equally impressed, NHL ready and will probably get called up more.
- Pacioretty was also impressive. Will definitely need to be seriously considered next year should his AHL experience go well.
- Weber is Streit 2.0
- Stewart almost had another fight in the same place he pummeled McCabe. He was good too. If he's not on the team by opening night, definitly one of the first to come up, should definitely be on the roster permanently next year (unless something happens).
- Kovy was playing but look strained, hopefully he can work that minor injury out. But he still pulled the moves! Denfensive ones too!
- Alex Henry doesn't really play, he just fights. Would be happy in Philly.
- P.K Subban played a pretty good game until he got into a big fight (and whoever was the loser that started a fight with Subban, congratulations, you just got OWNED by an OHLer), and then was off the rest of the night. It was weird, but I saw he knew it. He looked pretty frustrated with himself everytime he gave the puck away. But he's young, he'll only benefit from the experience.
- Tom Kostopoulos rocks.
- O'Byrne was good tonight too. More diciplined. No penalties from what I can remember.
- Josh Gorges is great! Wow. Seriously, thank you Rivet!
- The Kostitsyns were on fire, Plekanec too.
- I will continue to call Spezza "Sputza". Reverse midos touch on this guy. It's an observation that has continued from last year's playoffs and IIHF games.
- Heatley was also playing, but I didn't really notice.
- SENS SUCK 5~~~O~~~ (That's what the guys behind me were yelling).

There's a new goal song too. No more U2 "Vertigo". I don't like Simple Plan, but hey, at least it's a Montreal band so the stupid press can shut up about it. Thank god it's not Arcade Fire (zzzzzzzzzz). I couldn't really hear the lyrics, just the music, but it's apparently specially written for the team. It works well with everyone screaming. Very rocking .

And the new scoreboard is lovely.