Round 3 Game 3: Refreshing 5-1 smackdown

Leighton's 5-hole openeth.

So much better, Habs. This is how you're supposed to play. This is what brought you success. Attack, attack, and attack some more. Did Guy Boucher give Jacques Martin a call? And no you stupid fans, getting outshot does not mean instant victory. This time Habs outshot the Flyers again, but finally played smarter and played better, and won by a convincing margin.

Hugs on the bench. Hugs on the ice. Back in business. Though we gotta talk about Rhino, Coach. WHO CARES if he put the puck over the glass on his first shift. Don't punish the kid for that! It didn't cause any damage anyway. That 1:34 is a fucking travesty. Yet Bergeron can fail and fail and fail some more, but hey he scored the meaningless 5th goal so that means he can continue to play almost 20 grey-hair inducing minutes regardless of how much of a trainwreck he is 5-on-5 (or how many flubbed bluelines he had when it was actually time to care). At least PK seems to stay out the entire powerplay now.

Of course once the game was completely out of reach for the pumpkins, the goonery resurfaced. Most notably Briererere tossing his purse around. Seems to enjoy whacking PK with it.

Keep going for the head you little pissant.

Cammy continues to woo my heart. BabyPyatt and the rest of his line saved the game. Lapierre keeps making funny faces and pissing off the League. Dominic Fucking Moore will now terrorize the OTHER teams for a change and remain the meaning of life. Holy shit how fast was Gio going on that goal? So fast Pronger forgot to breathe past his -3. Hamr, the number one star tonight, with 2 assists and a plus fucking 4, and the only one fed up enough to tangle with Sideshow Bob Hartnell. Gets bonus points for not ploughing into his goalie, or putting the puck in his own net, and for looking like the good Hamr we love (but will promptly poop on the next time the old man resurfaces and chugs around the ice looking like he wishes he could retire).

Versus called the Habs play "pack mentality". They were hounding the Flyers all night. It was so exciting Bob Cole fell asleep.

Despite the honks you heard on the streets and the happy parade outside the Bell Center, Habs aren't out of the woods yet. But that fortuitous bounce is heading right for Michael Leighton and regardless of how big he is, in the end, he's still Michael Leighton. Especially if Pronger is too busy worrying about Gionta skate figure eights around him.

Round 1 Game 7: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

The video is right after the game from my balcony. You can hear the city take to the streets and miles away a good "OLEEE OLE OLE OLE OLEEEEE!" Downtown was crazier, this is just the suburbs!

Recap:
- Caps played exactly how I thought they would.
- JARO! Though not as busy as the last game, surprisingly enough. Guess we got into their heads.
- HMCS HAL GILL!
- GORGES!
- Seriously, if you don't think Gill and Gorges deserve to share a Conn Smythe you don't understand how many shots those guys blocked. The count was OBSCENE before this game even started. I even thought the shot clock was counting blocked shots otherwise the numbers would have been hilarious.
- Also it hurts a bit when you make a save even with goalie equipment, THOSE GUYS AREN'T WEARING GOALIE EQUIPMENT!!!
- GIONTA IS A GIANT!
- Sorry Bulldogs but uh we want to keep PK...
- What if Mike Green weren't such a colossal fuck up? History will be made.
- Slippy wasn't useless for once!
- HOLY SHIT DOMINIC FUCKING MOORE!
- I just realized this is the second time in Lapierre's life that he assisted on a 3rd period goal that buried a #1 Boudreau-lead team. Last time was the shorthanded Ajay Baines goal that made it 2-1 for the Calder Cup in Game 5.
- Bouhoohoodreau
- Still cheering in the streets
- Bench was full of manhugs!
- Only shaking going on was in the handshake
- "Blood in the beard. Part of the playoff portrait, isn't it?" - Dominic Moore
- Pens will be waaaaaaaaay tougher (though, if they can get to Fleury I have no doubt they'll score more on him).
- We're coming.
- Party like it's 1993!

Round 1 Game 4: Live, it was entertaining...

...until the defensive pairing of Bergeron and Hamrlik destroyed it.

But we have the smartest coach in the NHL according to Boudreau. He may be smart, but he's apparently too blind to notice that whenever those two are out, the Caps lick their chops and go off on odd-man rushes. Maybe our coach is a sadist?

You notice it on TV, but live it's just crazy, when you're sitting right above the net looking down, our defensive zone is like a bunch of flowers in a swarm of bees. The Habs either just stand around dumbfounded or run around like chickens without their heads. The Caps make every bounce and deflect do something that it's a miracle our goalies can actually breathe... At least I didn't have to poke someone's eye out for booing inappropriately.

The Good
- Price played a hell of a game. We have a goalie who stickhandled around OVECHKIN. He's just so calming. Even tossed a dude out of his aura. Even had to do some goalie hurdles over a Caps player who went sprawling into his net. And none of those goals were weaksauce. Two unsportsmanlike penalties? Please. He clipped a guy while trying to come over the bench with a load of goalie equipment on and was basically just telling the guy "he was there so move it" and the first was shooting a puck away that just happened to go into a crowd of celebrating Caps. Get the sand out of your vagina, Capitals, the refs were RELUCTANT to call all the infractions you guys actually did but called the Habs twice for playing hockey and then made up whatever they felt like calling garbage. Next time, maybe Price will get his fighting major instead.
- SERGEI WAS AWESOME COACH I HOPE YOU WERE WATCHING! Oh right, YOU DIDN'T PUT HIM ON THE POWERPLAY but who am I to question you 'cause you're a genius.
- Dominic Moore reminded people why you shouldn't leave after the other team scores an empty netter.
- Metro looked better tonight. Was flying with Pyatt, Sergei, Cammy, whoever they randomly decided to stick with him.
- Rhino comes in, people get squashed. Imagine if you had done this earlier eh Coach Chocula?
- Pyatt is so staying on this team.
- Gio for CAPTAIN! NOW!
- Cammy scored for me.
- These playoff series make me want to buy a Hal Gill t-shirt. I think I'm in love.

The Bad
- Every D not named Gill, Gorges, Markov, or Rhino.
- Jaro Spacek was missed. A lot.
- Bergeron and Hamr. Those assists can go die in a fire.
- Unable to bring out the killer instinct to finish the game with a lead. Always they get lazy, overwhelmed, they forget to cover people, and end up looking absolutely stupid and it cost them the game.
- If it didn't work the first time, and didn't work the second time, and didn't work the third, fourth, fifth time, STOP SHOOTING AT VARLAMOV RIGHT IN THE GUT! YOU WON'T BE GETTING A REBOUND THERE! In fact, no goalie will give up a rebound or even a goal if you shoot it right at his stomach. Maybe use the fucking boards behind the net and have another guy on the opposite side ready to tuck it in?
- Even though our best players were scoring goals, they were also the first to be floating around.
- Pouliot has no business being on the powerplay.

The OMGWTFBBQ!?
- No seriously coach, ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND?! BERGERON AND HAMR DO NOT MAKE A DEFENSIVE PAIR. As my brother said: "I wish they would do to Hamr what they did to Laraque. YOU ARE USELESS!"
- Tim Peel is an insult to hockey.
- Couldn't win a faceoff to save our lives. Even when they won one, the ref would whistle it down and they'd have to try again. Even when they won one, the wingers were too slow getting to the puck so they ended up losing the puck right after.

The Extra
- My brother does a hilariously accurate immitation of Jaro Spacek.
- I'm proud of you, crowd. You were supportive, you were loud and proud. You didn't boo Price who did all he could to backstop this trainwreck and I didn't have to launch anyone to center ice. Though sucks to be you if you left after the first empty netter because I would have LAUGHED if by some miracle Gomez actually had the strength to tie it up. (Maybe should have put the Moore/Kostitsyn line out again eh coach? They were actually trying to win this thing).

The series is playing out like an 8th seed facing the first in the League. Even though the Habs are giving them a run for their money and making it interesting, the Caps are just way too skilled to be falling behind. Still if I'm the Caps I would be greatly concerned how Mike Green is being outplayed by a kid. Then again, they're probably all juiced up anyway. No way those guys get that big that fast, or don't fatigue over the course of a game, and I don't remember Carlson being that large in the WJC...

Either way, Habs are what they are. I'm looking at Buffalo, I'm looking at Vancouver, I'm looking at THE BLACKHAWKS, I'm looking at the Sharks, I'm looking at the Devils... THOSE guys should be upset with how their playoffs are going. And while I know Crosby can score at will, Fleury's been a fucking sieve lately. Maybe they want to borrow Price for their inevitable series with the Caps?

Game 4: When you need a goal, just call PK Subban
At least the Bulldogs managed to bounce back like the top team in their conference that they are. Though there were some doubts... Boucher nearly pulled Desjardins again, but having Mayer as your backup wouldn't have ended well. One thing you gotta love about the Bulldogs is there ability to tip pucks into the PROPER net (something I wish the Habs would do). Grant Stevenson did the work while other people, mostly Glumac, finished. Aaron Palushaj powered through to set up Trotter and Subban. But it took double overtime to finish the game at 5-4 with Subban ripping a shot over Cory Schneider's glove.

Bulldogs lead their series now 3-1

Habs 3, Sabres 0: Full circle

FINALLY!

If last night abhorrent display of hockey was any indication for tonight's game, well, that's why we keep watching right? Where they failed to protect their goalie, where they failed to apply pressure, where they failed to give the opposing goalie anything difficult, tonight they succeded.

Perhaps it was because the Habs have problems when the other team plays like crap. When their system is broken, they can't handle it. Are they that structured that in order to properly take on a team, that team itself needs to be good and structured itself?

And contrary to their previous ventures, Jaro didn't have to steal anything. I think the D made more saves than he did. AND THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO SEE!

Hockey is a team game. And when you play solid as a team you get results. There was no epic meltdown in the final seconds tonight (as annoying as it is to see that happen but to see them fix their mistake makes it all good).

I'm finishing up fast 'cause I got new Doctor Who to watch OMG~!
- Back-to-back shutouts for Jaro.
- The Third Line was the star of the show. Sergei was back and his return really solidifies Moore and Moen.
- Rhino scored into the PROPER net for once! (Although the puck had gone out of play and no one noticed except Moore, but he did try to tell them!)
- Of course Rhino nearly fell into his own net and nearly scored on himself just before.
- Sergei reminded us what a 3rd period goal looked like.
- Pyatt gave us a prime example of pure Bulldogs hockey and made Tyler Myers look silly. (Yea he'll probably win the Calder, but eh...so did Samsonov).
- Lindy Ruff got upset and sent out the goons near the end. See you in the playoffs, douche.
- And when stuff got rough, everyone had each other's back. Though Lappy really shouldn't fight, but he couldn't get in a good position and had no choice but to defend himself on the guy swinging at his head.
- Our PK is good, our PP however has died a horrible death. At least they're scoring 5-on-5 now.

Habs started this season's series with Price stealing a win for them. Habs ended this season's series by dominating the Division Leader with a very convincing win.

Full circle.

Habs 5, Oilers 4 (SO): Why must you make things so difficult...?

Yea, we've LOST better games than this...

Also hilarious how Jaro can have probably his worst performance of the year, yet still manages a win. Everything is cool eh? Win and you're in? You know in the shootout you're never supposed to make the first move? (Callers still called in to rip Price for some reason... Guess they didn't like his hat).

Tweet of the night to sum it up: @SmilingGainey I'd like to thank the Edmonton Oilers and their storm trooper aim.

THIS WASN'T THE WASHINGTON CAPITALS!!!1

The only good story of the night was Sergei Kostitsyn! His line was absolutely all over the Oilers. He ended the night with a goal and an assist, drew penalties and finished with the 1st star. Moen got a goal (wow, been a while since he greased one in) and Moore picked up an assist. All three contributed to strong play in the gritty areas. Of course, no matter what he does, for some reason, Martin refuses to use SK74 on the powerplay (pssssst 0-for-a-zillion against the OILERS).

But nevermind this game of fail where even the refs forgot about the rule where a penalized player in OT cannot participate in the shootout (or did they change that 'cause what if Ovechkin trips someone in OT eh, nevermind how sucky he is at shootouts). This night was ultimately destroyed by the TWO MORONS WITH SUBBANATOR JERSEYS AND BLACKFACE WITH BIG FROS!

How did these people get into the Bell Center? I sure hope they didn't walk down the street like that...and if they did, why did no one question them? Did they get into the Bell Center, and like the girls at school, change in the bathroom? How did no one notice or punch them? I've seen fights at the Bell Center started by absolutely nothing...and this doesn't even twitch a nose hair? The people sitting around them didn't even part like the Dead Sea and call security. And now RDS even put them on TV to the very lost and confused comments of Pierre et Benoit who basically said "uh...what are we looking at here..." in rather uncomfortable undertones. Soon to be lambasted on a Puck Daddy near you eh?

Congrats you blackface idiots. Between you and the kid behind me in preseason who refered to PK as "le p'tit noir la", you have just embarrassed a proud organization, fellow fans, and our city. Right up there with the New Year's Eve show on some French station that had the very unfunny disgusting joke about how easy it would be to assassinate Obama because it'll be easy to see him in front of the White House? Yea, RIGHT up there. But c'est bien normal in this Province to equate humour with racist remarks and then act shocked when people get upset...

Gonna insult the Jews next time when Cammy comes back, maybe?

Habs 4, Kings 2: Not what we were sold on

Everybody Wang Chung tonight...

We were told the Kings were young, solid, strong, and quick. Surely that 80 points, 5th in the West record made that sound correct. Jonathan Quick leads the League in the stupid stat of 35 wins. Drew Doughty was Mr. Wonderful and would bury us in the powerplays.

Well, they sure didn't look like that description.

The Kings looked out of it. Perhaps still suffering the distate of their previous loss? Whatever it was they didn't look like a team that had 80 points and sat comfy as the 5th in the West. They looked slow more times than not, easily kept to the outside and fell into the gameplan the Habs set up. Jonathan Quick looked as shaky as his save percentage indicated. Mr. Wonderful? I honestly didn't even notice him until they showed his face on TV as he was sitting on the bench. Olympic hangover evident.

The description people made of them had them sounding like the Penguins or the Blackhawks. Instead they looked like the Thrashers or the Islanders...

It took 22 seconds for Gionta to smack in the rebound. Habs barely allowed them to sniff the net back in their zone until Kopitar smoked by everyone to dipsy doodle around Jaro. (Yes, Jaro. What's that message? "Good work, now go sit on the bench." Very lucky the Kings are not like the physical goons of the Sharks or this would have been fugly. Hope it didn't mess with Price's mojo). Dominic Moore made Quick look Not-So-Quick with an actual shorthanded goal. Habs appeared to try to get the Kings to put up a fighting chance at getting back into the game by taking a zillion penalties, but even then, the Habs are so used to being shorthanded it didn't matter.

Third period started a bit like the first, only it was Pouliot this time scoring 35 seconds in. Nothing happened for the rest of the period until Modin did the same cut-across goal as Kopitar (minus the coast-to-coast rush) but all that did was wake up the Habs as deja vu from Thursday was settling in. You know, the DON'T FUCK THIS UP YOU CAN BEAT THIS TEAM thing? Yea, then the Kings pulled Quick and Pleky hit the empty net.

Game. Are we back in 8th?

Glenn Healy can fuck off too. The three stars should have been the entire Gomez-Gionta-Pouliot line. Hell, Dominic Moore maybe deserved a star.

The big, bad Ducks got shutout by the Coyotes today. The Ducks are not like the Kings, but more like the Sharks. We only hope they're suffering from massive Olympic hangover...

Learn to make fire with the burning anger of a goaltender

First: Harpooning a goalie and pitchforking him into the net to prevent him from doing his job does not allow you to say "good goal".

Second: Hey Rhino, I know you really want to score, but you're supposed to tip it into the OTHER net.

Third: Well nice of you guys to show up in the third period. I'm sure Price and Subban appreciate the thought that you decided to join them. Guess the rest of you were screwed up with the early 6pm start?

Fourth: Looks like Briere feels he had to even things up by tiping it into his own net as well.

Fifth: Hey Dominic Moore! Scoring for us this time by bouncing it off Leighton's ass. Maybe he is the meaning of life?

Sixth: We have no more defencemen. Who's left in Hamilton?

Seventh: Fuck you, refs.