The Day Fun Died

Look! The Habs are saluting their crowd!

With the (sad, disappointing, useless, uptight, ageist, douchey) news that MT2.0 has from this day onward banned all future Triple Low-Fives as performed after a hard fought victory with great excitement and happiness by PK Subban and Carey Price, I've discovered--thanks to my super secret hamster spies--a list of the other "team concept rules" MT2.0 has pinned to the locker room cork board.

- All pink shirts are banned (coach exempted). As is Aaron Palushaj's plaid suit if he ever finds himself called up (or healthy). No cowboy suits either, Carey.
- Any excessive forms of happiness are banned. Brendan Gallagher is seriously pushing the envelop but we understand he may have a condition known as chronicus smilus syndrome. It may be infectious...
- PK Subban's mix tapes are banned from the locker room.
- If you find Nathan Beaulieu's mix tapes, burn them.
- Goalies, if you manage to win a rare nail biter of a shootout, you are banned from striking a pose. It might put sand in the vaginas of your manly opponents.
- There is no I in TEAM. There is however TAME.
- When you score a goal, please submit a written apology to the goalie you scored on and forward a duplicate to his teammates/coach.
- An updated list of preset answers are available in your 2013 playing manual. Do not go off script. This includes badly handled responses that will result into media controversies.
-  All photos and films shall be done in black and white. We're trying to bring back tradition by going back in time.
- If you have a problem containing your personality traits, we'll have Dr. Mulder poke at your frontal lobe.

The War on Fun has come to town.

RIP Triple Low Five 2010-2012