Assassin's Goalie

Thanks to this lockout, Carey Price can continue his budding acting career.

The Brooklyn Islanders

Sad. But now you can officially mothball that dump on Long Island as the Islanders take their skates to the new Barclays Center. Pretty sure the tattoo parlor will just move across the street.

Do me a favour? Burn those shit grey-dayglo-orange third jerseys please.

I am however miffed that you announced this NOW instead of negotiating with the NHLPA to actually PLAY in that new rink...

It's finally here! The season starts--OH WAIT!

I could be enjoying my Habs right now.

Instead I'm on the sofa watching Supernatural reruns and HGTV with my snuggle-puppy.

Fuck you NHL. I'm comfy. And I want my boys on my TV. Now.