Habs 5, Leaf 2: Bite me

AIR GUITAR!

Harlem Shake is the Leafs' goal song.

Gorges is retweeting some chatter about someone wishing he were hotter than he is.

And Price is tweeting about Duck Dynasty.

Hockey jumped the shark.

Do I need to remind you Michael Ryder is a Hab again?
- You know what sucks? THIS FUCKING SLUSHSTORM.
- Why the flying fuck is Colton Orr playing 15 minutes? With Kadri? With more ice time than Kessel and JVR? Oh right, Carlyle thinks goons = wins.
- It's because of that, Mike Douchechops Brown's hit from behind on Gorges was a 5 and a toss instead of a 2. Yes, I think he was tossed simply to send a message to the bench to quit their shit now.
- Once again, Dion Phaneuf goes after things smaller than him and runs from Prust. But really, Gallagher doesn't give a crap who you are, he will skate through you and will usually end up under your goalie in the net.
- Which prompted a hilarious thing! CTV's Brian Wilde mentions a prayer for Gionta to teach Gallagher how to avoid dangerous situations. I totally disagree with this, as this is not in Gallagher's DNA. And anyway if you've watched Gally play most of his hockey life, teaching him to avoid danger is ridiculous and would kill his game (in any case, he knows what he's doing). Long story short, my disagreeing with his statement prompted Tennis Man to bite my fucking head off for being "contrarian on every bloody thing", of which I politely did not appreciate and clarified I'm merely disagreeing with his statement because Gally can take care of himself thank you very much. Plus, teaching him to go do the complete opposite of what made him an NHLer? Yea that's smart... In any case, he has deleted his side of the small exchange and probably blocked me like the insecure twat he appears to be. It's called a Twitter exchange. Deal with it or get off. (ie, Bite me).
- By the way, the Phaneuf hit on Gallagher? Gallagher stayed on his feet while Phaneuf tumbled over. Remind me who knocked Georges Parros on his ass in Florida? OH YEA, Gallagher.
- Still, some progress: Scrivens didn't attack Gally this time.
- Both goals against were total fails in coverage. You just can't stop skating guys...
- So Patches gets two glorious chances on the 5 minute major, misses both (including an absolutely abandoned net). PK breaks his stick on a shot, Scrivens bounces the rebound off Patches' leg and in. Typical.
- Though Patches made up for it on a Kovalev-esque shot after little DD out-muscled Phaneuf to get him the puck. (Suck it Phaneuf).
- Penalty shot: denied. Maybe next time Grabs should try biting the puck.
- Somewhere, Tyler Bozak is still bitching about losing the faceoff clean to DD on Gally's goal. YOU LOST THE DRAW. Deal with it.
- Every time I saw a Habs goal, I saw JVR float by after it. It was the only time I noticed JVR, really.
- When Emelin scores, I get real happy.
- And Gionta adds the rare empty netter for free wings!

So, Gallagher gave Ryder his number back and took his old 11 on. Happily took his number 11. Then again, Gallagher is basically synonymous with happy.

Suck it Leafs.

Back in time

Clearly it's Emelin's fault.

Habs just traded Erik Cole to Dallas for Michael Ryder and a 3rd round pick. And I don't know what to make of it.

On one hand the contract deals are fine. Cole has two years left, Ryder is up this year. On the other hand, the minute Bob Gainey went back to Dallas, Ribs and now Ryder are out. Hmmm...  And on my secret OTHER hand, well, Ryder isn't as physical as Cole, but scores just as much.

Upon entering my parents house to pick up my dog, my brother told me to hide the booze. Surely Ryder has grown up...right?

Though all bets are off if I see Mickey Ribs back or Pierre Dagenais crawl out from under his Federal League rock...

But the most important issue is: Does this mean Gallagher has to give back the number 73? All those new t-shirts already printed and sold...

Habs 1, Sens 2 (SO): ALL YOUR POSTS ARE BELONG TO US

McKayla is unimpressed by your goalposts.

That 8-foot goalie the Sens want to trade, Ben Bishop, and his mighty posts were the story of the game. Not much else you can do. Though I can say I am happy the Habs bucked the usual trend of what happens after Price picks up a 3-0 shutout (ie, they usually get shutout in the next game).


Picking up the point is important though. Take all you can get.

AND WILL SOMEONE SHOVE THAT CHRIS NEIL TROLL BACK UNDER HIS FUCKING BRIDGE PLEASE?

Now if you excuse me, I have some arts and crafts to do.

Habs 3, Rangers 0: Are you not entertained?

Is this not why you are here?

Awww Torts. You mad, bro? Or just upset your "supposed to win the Stanley Cup" team has the collective shooting accuracy of Chris Higgins?

And let's not kid here. The Rangers had the first period. They were pretty much in control, taking turnovers, blocking the Habs from coming up the ice at all to the point the Habs had 1 shot on net for most of the period. I mean Cube gave the Komisarek Special (saved by Price). Then I come back from walking Toaster, and it's 1-0 Habs. From there, looks like his team (save a few players of the lower-6 variety) packed up and played out the rest of the game with what looked like a "better luck next time" mentality.

Oh and he benched Marian Gaborik. Gold star, Torts. No goals for you!

Maybe Torts should ask new Als coach Dan Hawkins for advice.
- By the way, play Biron, play Lundqvist. Either way, Rangers kryptonite is the Bell Centre.
- I'm so happy Lars Eller has LINEMATES. Cole and Galchenyuk have given him something he didn't have since Andrei Kostitsyn was taken away.
- Sorry, if you think Pacioretty's hit on McDonagh is suspension worthy you're off your rocker. No, he didn't leave his feet. The blood was from McDonagh's visor. And what the fuck McDonagh DON'T TURN YOUR FUCKING BACK AFTER MAKING EYE CONTACT.
- Also Akim Aliu just did the same hit, but actually FLEW into Stoner in this Flames/Wild game and didn't even get a penalty (even though it should have been charging). Probably because Stoner is a big man who didn't turn stupidly.
- That said, Patches is a Hab. Shanabingban will probably bow to the Rangers and suspend him. (Even though the fucking Luke Schenn hit on Gallagher was way worse).
- Lucky for Luke Schenn, Gallagher was back. That first shot on net was thanks to his hard work.
- Carey Price finally knows what it's like to play for the Blues with the easiest shutout of his life.
- I prefer that second unit powerplay, thanks.
- Bronze that passing play. Keep the tapes for future references. Non-stop passes. Galchy, PK, Cube (?), Eller, with Cole standing around in the front. GOAL.
- Apparently Cole claims to get him going, he needs to be abused on the ice. Crosscheck him. Slap him around. Hit him into the boards. He wants it.
- Guess it worked. I don't remember him getting hit though.
- Galchenyuk has the ability to make something really good out of absolutely nothing.
- Lars Eller enjoys pissing off Torts.
- Torts should be happy. With a 5-on-3 at the end of the game, the Habs put out Ryan White, Colby "WHATPUCKWHERE" Armstrong and Travis Moen. And they almost scored.
- And with the game all but over, Girardi blocks a PK rocket right on the ankle. High probability that's broken.
- Guess we really know who's the worst of the two teams.

Weird factoid of the night: My Star Wars shirt is on a winning streak. Seriously.

May the Force be with you.

Habs 3, Islanders 4 (OT): Gained a point, lost a point

Much like the Habs, I don't really have the energy to recap this one so I'll just let the Islanders walk all over me and write it themselves.

Suckers! You might be first in the East for now (and well, still are, for now) but we know your weak spots. It's those Russians who can't keep up with our speedy forwards and your coach's inability to realize that Tavares and PK are best friends and would love to cancel each other out. Check the ice time sheet. HIS NAME IS PK! Thank you for not playing him on the PK so we could score two goals easily. That Diaz guy? He's like the equivalent of a prairie dog when he plays the penalty kill, of which he did for 3 minutes and 10 seconds. Hilarious.

You know what else is hilarious? Max Pacioretty. I mean, did you see that? He had a hat trick on his stick with a wide open empty net and still managed to shoot the puck into Nabby! We all bowled over with laughter on that. And that two-man advantage you guys got when everyone was getting free hooking penalties? Again, I know we're glad someone burned the tapes from last year because you guys didn't use your clutch shooter...named PK. Instead we saw that Diaz-Markov pairing that shit the bed most of the game. Guess it means nothing when PK helped set up the first powerplay goal you guys scored on us early.

We loved your shitty coaching decisions. Makes our mafia guy look like a genius.

  Thanks. At least they weren't wearing those shitty 3rd jerseys.

Meanwhile... Carey Price wins the internet.

Habs 3, Rangers 1: No puck for you

I guess the Habs are a good team. I mean for one, they didn't shit the bed like they normally do at MSG on the tail end of a back-to-back game.

Naturally you could just watch the game on fast-forward for the best effect. I don't have that fancy PVR stuff so I get to watch it in real-time. Sure, it was no classic. But it was a win, with two points, while the Leaf lost, and the Habs are--as of now--first in the conference.

Call it a boring road game. A neutral clogger. Call it "bad" all you want. The game actually got Torts to construct a full sentence in his post-game press conference so it couldn't have been THAT terrible.

I can honestly say I find the Rangers kind of boring. All they do is shot block you to death... It's like Jacques Martin hockey with a team you know could actually pot a few goals but won't 'cause their coach told them to shot block forever. Besides, I thought they were supposed to win the Stanley Cup.

Sometimes you have to win boring.
- Hey! Third game in a row Habs were the better faceoff team. Clearly the Russian meteor had an effect world-wide.
- I mean CLEARLY the Habs waited for their chances and gave little to the Rangers, which is why the Habs got only 17 shots while they gave up 25.
- Because clearly the Rangers didn't take advantage of Cole and DD shitting the bed after a delayed penalty where everyone but Price stopped playing.
- I guess it's ok that Cole and DD made up for the shits by helping create Pacioretty's first real goal of the year. And I could hear the Official Pacioretty Cheering section under the empty din of MSG.
- WHO LIKES ICING?
- I prefer my icing on cupcakes.
- Yesterday, Pleky got Cam Ward in the head. Tonight PK rocketed Lundqvist.
- Later, Pleky and PK combined into a goalie.
- Galchellerusty combined for the best 3-on-1 practice drill. Galchy get the goal and Eller asploded into a giant ball of laughter.
- Combined with trademark Torts facepalm.
- The Rangers were losing. Cue Rangers powerplay. Thankfully their powerplay was still worse than ours.
- Diaz decided to show us that Swiss military training with his Swiss precision on the long shot empty netter.

Random picture of Diaz and a mutant pineapple.

Wondering what tonight's media excuse will be... The refs were a non-factor. The Rangers showed up. The road-weary Habs walked in and grabbed two points off their potato field-like ice. Price proved all those bad games at MSG were either pre-renovations or just the general HABS FUCKING SUCKED EVERY BACK-TO-BACK THERE. Either way, it may just be for tonight but the Habs are first in the East.

Stick it on the fridge.

Habs 3, Whalercanes 0: Double shutouts

Clearly the Habs were waiting for me to come back from my (STUPID RAGE-Y) condo association meeting to pour on the goals in the third... That's for waiting, guys! But really, if you had a leak in your apartment for 3 years now and supposedly had mold forming and water coming in wouldn't you allow the builder who offered to fix the problem for not 30k to...fix it? RAGE. Crazy annoying people upstairs fix your damn apartment already before coming to us with demands! ARGH.

And I come to pick up Toaster at my parent's house, at 9pm, and no one has walk the dogs... Seriously. Without my mom those two guys would starve, wear dirty clothes, and forget to breathe.

Anyway. Thanks to Cam Ward for the biggest Toskalol in Max Pacioretty's favour.
- Seriously. I suggested Patches would end the season with nothing but assists when THAT happens. Even Toaster was confused.
- I missed Galchenyuk getting a roughing penalty. I have to see this.
- Speaking of Galchenyuk, stickhandles on a dime.
- I see PK threw his backwards asschecks around. The best kind of checks.
- Pleky tried to decapitate Cam Ward on his goal. The best kind of Czechs.
- Whalercanes were red hot, also riding a 3 game win streak. Well....
- Save of the game goes to Carey Price, from the bench, putting him at 100% on the night as well. And saved Marc Denis' pretty face!

- Bobby Dollas thinks it would have gone through Denis' legs anyway.

- Kirk is Work! But the rest of his team forgot about it.

- I wanted to give Budaj a hug on his first shutout in years. Congrats!

Off to New York. Why do the Rangers always get the Habs at the tail end of a back-to-back? So not fair...

Habs 4, Flyers 1: A week of wins

Exactly a week after the bull of shit we saw against Toronto, where the Leaf apparently won the Cup (not saying which Cup...maybe a Cup of Coffee), somehow the Habs won 3 in a row and bounced up to 2nd in the Conference. But lo! The Leaf hath defeated the reeling Senators of Ottawa, who just lost their best "defenceman" to a tendon slice. Andrei Markov sends his sympathies.

Though Philly has some excuses for their Buffalo of a record. An incompetent GM who gets praised for trading players he probably could use right now just so he could overpay a goalie who masqueraded his abilities behind a team no one gave much of a shit to play against (and were ok defensively). Coupled with injuries. And more trades of a budding power forward for a piece of shit defenceman (IF GALLAGHER IS INJURED BRING ME THE HEAD OF LUKE SCHENN) no one really wanted. Coupled with more injuries. Hey, Clod Geerou can't do it all. Can't wait for Holmgren to trade him this summer.

That light you see is Mike Richards and Jeff Carter reflecting the sun against their Stanley Cup rings sending signals of thanks and lol across the country to his office window.

Do not play unless you're below this line
- Until the 3rd period, no one above 5'8" scored a goal. Though a shrivel of critics in this city believe Pleky is below that line...
- Yes, for the first time in a while we saw something from DD and some chemistry from his line of the day. Of course then his wingers go down. However, I'll remain cautious to the fact DD has now "shown up" once ever week or two and remains fairly consistent with last year in regards to his weak performance on the road (shootouts don't count)... This new inconsistency, and the fact he's below the chin-line, does not warrant a long-term contract. Sorry to the Cranky Franky Gagnons of the world. You don't have to be a member of ENGLISH MEDIA (as he so charges) to realize the fact he's got no future on this team considering his size in relation to the fact we've got too much of his size, and he's on the wrong side of 25. And there are centers coming up in the system that can do plenty more (Kristo, Vail, Bournival, etc).
- And no, Cranky Franky Gagnon. We will not trade Plekanec or Eller to make room for him either. Put your pompoms away.
- (Of course, if they do trade those guys away, the collective facepalm from actual fans who care more about wins/abilities over place of birth/language will blow the Bell Center on it's backside).
- Price was sick with the shits (stomach flu), so Budajbar came in. The haters immediately coined this as a loss and probably went out for dinner. Who needs you!
- The haters obviously forgot neither goalie for the Flyers could be considered "solid", nor a "starter" for that matter. Tonight we had Bouuuuuuuuucherrrrrrrr.
- I was also told that Clod Geerou would "light it up". He did nothing of the sort. In fact, the only thing he did was sting the back of Emelin's leg. Actually for some reason he was after him all night... You don't like Russians?
- Yes, get your goal out of the way, Briere.
- PK Subban had the save of the game after Budaj temporarily believed he was able to play the puck like Carey Price and wandered behind his net. PK dove in front for the save, stinging his arm in the process. Keith Jones then accused PK of being selfish, believing he only did that to get attention. I really hope he was being facetious, but I somehow have my doubts.
- Am I the only one who thinks Pacioretty will end the season with nothing but assists? Team player!
- I'm fine with the Habs getting trapped in their own end, so long as they spend those 5 minutes keeping the puck along the boards. It might not be exciting hockey, and might be rather frustrating, but it's efficient...
- For a moment in the 3rd, Pacioretty did his best Erik Cole and drove to the net down the wing. Timonen held him up and Pacioretty fell on his skate. A "deep cut" by the ribs for Pacioretty that healed 3 weeks ago.
- You know Armstrong, that puck hitting you in the eye wouldn't have been a problem if you had a visor on.
-  Rene Bourque twisted the knife by being clobbered on a breakaway to the empty net. Automatic goal.


Alright. Another week of work ahead. Habs hanging on to a playoff position and creating a fair amount of buffer should they need that cushion later in the season. Let's just hope the injuries that happened in this game aren't big ones...

Habs 1, Panthers 0: We need more Galchenyuks

How does one make a dull game that looked more like a day at the practice rink and turn it into a win? Take one 0-0 tie to overtime, add one Alex Galchenyuk, put a little bit of muscle as he powers his way to the net, send a pass over to the slot, hope it bounces off a flailing Shawn Matthias, and as the chaos unfolds watch Rene Bourque baseball swing the puck over Jose Theodore.

And that's about it, because nothing else really happened all game. In fact, I spent most of my time wondering what back breaking stupid shot by Filip Kuba will bobble it's way off 50 possible candidates and into the net to end it. A couple of saves on both sides, and a lot of flash from PK, but other than that, a barnbummer. In fact, Canadiens Express can just play the OT and be done with it.

Florida sweep! Oh and Habs traded Ced for Tokarski. Our small goaltending pool just got extra adorable. And punchy.

Habs 4, Bolts 3 (unnecessary SO): You kill me

Habs won. I threw things at my TV and cursed Therrien because he refuses to extract his head from his asshole (and Price was run on that 2nd goal but for some reason random goalie interference is OK when the puck goes in the net now).

I'm so angry at the decisions he has made recently--namely involving PK Subban NOT playing key important moments of the game like an important penalty kill or an OT powerplay, or how DD gets carte blanche while Lars Eller ON THE FOURTH LINE has points and work ethic coming out of his wazoo--that I can't properly recap this game.

So I'm posting this video of goats yelling like humans (brought to my attention by Wrap Around Curl). This is my recap.

Yup.

Habs 0, Leafs 6: A recipe

Why stop at just chomping on Pacioretty's arm, Grabovski, when you could clearly eat the whole team. Allow me to cook up a recipe for you.

Montreal Canadiens Cupcakes
- 24 Cups
- 12 Forwards
- 6 Defenceman
- 1 Goalie
- 1 Peel of Tim
- 3 Sprinkles of idiocy
- 2 Cups of Coaches
- 4 Bags of bad line combinations
- A handful of misconducts
- 3 fighting majors
- 10lbs of difference
- 1 shot to the knees
- Add sluggishness to taste
- A splash (or two, or three) of rum

Preheat TV at 633, or 606 en maudit anglais.

In a mixer, gently blend all of the above. Pour it into the cups.

Bake for 3 hours of suck or wait until it's really bad. Don't bother transferring to a cooling rack. Just BITE!

Meanwhile...
I'm told the Leafs just won the Cup. My super secret spy hamsters captured this image of it's presentation.

Drink up.

Habs 4, Sabres 5 (SO): I got a few things to say

I'm sorry. I can't even be angry with Ryan White.

Oh yes I've heard the "Ott is a master prick and did his job, White should have controlled himself better". All game long Ott was going after Gallagher, after Markov, after Gionta...kind of like that game in Dallas when he went after Kovy and Koivu and Greg Stewart punched him in the face. Only in that game, Price was the goalie and the penalty killers did their job.

Which brings me to this point: Maybe your penalty kill unit should have a guy named PK Subban on it? I don't know why he magically disappeared from the kill tonight. Having PK out there killing penalties for basically 46 seconds does not help your cause, especially in a back-to-back game. And yea Diaz had a good game. But seeing him channel his inner Hal Gill on a 5-on-3, while heroic, is not something you want to see regularly. Guess who was out there killing White's penalty? NOT PK.

It would also help if Budaj knew what a goal line stand was... Or how to close his giant 5-hole. Or use his glove to freeze the puck instead of allowing the puck to fly off him wildly in random directions.

So go ahead. Blame Ryan White for doing what all you fans were crying about, how no one ever stands up when douchnozzles take liberties on our players. Go ahead and ignore the fact that every time the Habs scored, DD's line was put out there and totally zonked out allowing the Sabres to score one right back. Go ahead and ignore the wet noodle attempt to kill the clock with the empty net staring in their face. Because you do not put your faith on Tim Peel to call Steve Ott for pitchforking Budaj into the net to allow Vanek to score. Because Tim Peel is a big twat.

Also would it kill you to win a faceoff? This team's most glaring wart. The other wart being how bad Desharnais and Cole have been. Pacioretty is starting to catch the suck bug.

In the future, Habs should send Galchenyuk out for all three attempts in the shootout. Just switch the jersey every time. My how big you've suddenly grown, Gionta!

Speaking of Gionta, he took a really stupid random penalty in the middle of the 2nd period that I can only describe by this photo....

Meow, bitches!

Habs 1, Bruins 2: Two minutes for falling asleep

I really wish the media would stop hyping a Habs-Bruins game as Fight Night.

Besides, so long as Adam McQuaid declines the invite from Brandon Prust after a scrum in front of the net, there won't be much of a fight night.

However, other than the first two minutes of the 3rd period where Pleky, Markov, Emelin and about the laziest example of backchecking I have ever seen courtesy of Rene Bourque all collectively shit the bed, there's not much to really be overly critical of. Well, and Desharnais being crap on faceoffs. And missing, somehow, a goal that even Rask thought went in. Seriously how the fuck do you miss point-blank through the goalie's legs RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE NET?

Oh and Pleky's breakaway to...whatever that was.

If I had a dollar for ever squandered opportunity...
- I could have bought the Coyotes by the 2nd period.
- Eller shot Price in the balls in warmup. Price was not happy. But he plays better when he's pissed off.
- Can we please stop with the Molson Cup ceremony? It's such a awkward thing...and totally not "team concept".
- Weird stat of the night: The takeaway/giveaway thingy favoured the Habs.
- For you SIZE people: Habs outhit the Bruins. I think Cube delivered the better non-Emelin hit too.
- Personally, Galchenyuk doesn't need to be as protected as MT thinks he should be. You can literally watch him adapt to a situation right in front of your eyes. And his battle backcheck with Lucic was rather epic.
- PK SCORED HIS FIRST GOAL OF THE SEASON AND DID THE JOEL THINGY. Bet MT will put an end to this one quickly. Also, has a point in every game he's been in so far.
- First to jump into PK's arms in celebration: One very happy Markov.Obviously it was in spite. I could see the Hate, PJ Stock.

I knew he would do this.

- Gallagher is just fearless.
- I'd say Armstrong is useless, and then he ran over Gregory Campbell and I instantly loved him. Then I went back to thinking how I miss Tom Kostopoulos, who had better hands.
- Did we magically get hybrid no-touch icing? The ref blew the whistle before any player touched it, and two Habs were pretty damn close to winning the battle.
- Lars Eller needs more ice time with actual players. When even the L'Antichumps see this you know it needs to happen. But it'll take a quick swing to the ankle's of David Desharnais to get him on that line... (No I'm not going to do it).
- Bright side: Neither Spooner nor Hamilton scored their first goal ever.
- Not Very Bright Side: I pity those of you who had McGuire. The McSplooge over Hamilton must have filled the screen.

Clearly Habs marketing staff not part of the "team concept"

Can't say this was disappointing, other than the fact they lost. And when they both play actual hockey, not UFC, they really aren't that far apart from each other. All it took was two sleepy shifts by the guys who were arguably the Habs best players since the start of the season for the game to turn. But they didn't shrink away after it. They regrouped and tried to get the game back. Sometimes you drive to the net and the puck goes in (like Krejci). And sometimes you drive to the net only to lose the puck in your feet.

To Buffalo.

Habs 2, Sens 1: Little help from not-friends

Sens coach Paul MacLean is not pleased.

The NHL is a joke league with bush league officiating.

From calling "boarding" on Gorges as he went for an icing and got there first and got hit, to the "diving" penalty call on Cube when he had the fucking stick between his legs, to the "goalie interference" call on Silfverberg that recalled what should have been the game tying goal... Hell even Price was shocked that was called back.

You're one year too late in repaying us for all the shit you pulled last season, refs.

Brian Pochmara has outdone Chris Lee
- CBC now has Karlsson Cam! Oh and there was a game going on somewhere behind that.
- Guimauve had the "flu".
- Meanwhile, Pacioretty had his appendix removed through his navel and the only thing that pissed him off about it was that it gave him an outie. (Yes, the less invasive surgery takes less time to heal from. It's not like they sliced him open and stapled him back together).
- Welcome back assist too!
- Erik Cole backhander! PK has two assists now.
- If the Habs would stop shooting for the moon, it wouldn't have been this close...
- And Bourque borked the post.
- Chris Neil needs a punch to the face. Or a puck. I don't really care.
- And in the department of bad reffing, there's bad offsides! The Sens had three non-call GROSSLY offside attacks, while the Habs were called back on one that was onside. And Pleky was going to kill that linesman.
- Also probably the same douche who keeps throwing him out of the faceoff circle.
- I daresay we may finally have a coach who can talk to the refs about their shit officiating.
- Ref even gets in the way of breakaways.
- I name thee Galchenkov.
- Watching Prust kill the clock near the end there was great.
- Could have used a few curlers to get that empty net. Damn you friction!
- PJ Stock: "The small guys are able to make themselves small". WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!
- Kevin Weekes was attempting to explain things to PJ Stock. Next time I suggest bringing crayons. Maybe puppets. Lego would work too.
- Can't believe CBC gave Karlsson one of the 3 stars. He had no points and was a -1. Maybe it was for the 5 montages they made for him.
- Glad I didn't watch this on Sportsnet with the condescending Denis Potvin whine. It's not a fine vintage.

Habs have an insane record on Super Bowl weekend. Right now, looks like the Harbaugh with the Habs gloves on is winning.

(Note: He won).

Habs 6, Vanek 1: Free Buffalo Wings

PK is back! And his skate had it out for him in the first period. But once that was fixed, you could see just how good this team is with him. And an assist in his first game back thank you very much.

Other than PK, today's game was billed (locally) as Grigorenko VS. Galchenyuk! The two players Habs could have drafted but only could have one! How will this look? How will they perfom? Who will get more points? Build up, controversy!

...and Grigorenko may as well have not been playing.

As for Galchenyuk? He OWNED.

Ryan Miller discovered 2 Gallys are better than 1

Steve Ott is still a douche
- The "New Look Sabres" were supposed to be scary. Or that's what I was TOLD because of that shitstorm in Boston.
- I can say, as a fan of the Blackhawks, that John Scott is fucking useless. You will learn to understand this, one day. Just like how the Rangers did.
- Do you like Rene Bourque now? When he's not drawing penalties, he's crashing the net. Two goals!
- You see the difference with PK. He's our only D capable of matching the speed of say Cody Hodgson running full steam on a breakaway as Kaberle does his best impersonation of a wet noodle.
- THE KIDS! Highlight reel stuff. With a little help from Ehrhoff.
- First time Ryan Miller was pulled in a game against the Habs.
- First time since like 2008 (or 2009) the Habs scored this many goals on them. Maybe Lalime was in nets.
- HEY THERRIEN! IS LARS ELLER PLAYING INTENSE ENOUGH FOR YOU?! All it takes is a little bit of ice time, and a flying chance.
- DD did things right today! TWO GOALS. But those penalties negating powerplays........
- We had 3-on-3 hockey. And it was awesome.
- It would have been awesomer if Pleky, who literally walked up to Enroth, would have scored instead of shoving the puck into him...
- Funny how PK hits 6'8" John Scott, and Scott throws a punch at PK, gets a penatly while Cube (all 5'8" of him) comes to PK defence (PK stopped him).
- My biggest problem was Diaz's inability to stay calm and hold the blueline. That was like a vintage Hamrlik fuckup....
- Prusty vs Ott. Ott tried to get Gallagher to fight him first. Still a fuckwit.
- Ott went after Gallagher with a minute left in the game too...
- Lindy Ruff's face turned many shades of red.
- My nemesis Cody Hodgson didn't score for once!

Perfect for SuperBowl Weekend: Free Wings! Would have been cool if there was say A TRIPLE LOW FIVE celebrating this awesomeness....

The Day Fun Died

Look! The Habs are saluting their crowd!

With the (sad, disappointing, useless, uptight, ageist, douchey) news that MT2.0 has from this day onward banned all future Triple Low-Fives as performed after a hard fought victory with great excitement and happiness by PK Subban and Carey Price, I've discovered--thanks to my super secret hamster spies--a list of the other "team concept rules" MT2.0 has pinned to the locker room cork board.

- All pink shirts are banned (coach exempted). As is Aaron Palushaj's plaid suit if he ever finds himself called up (or healthy). No cowboy suits either, Carey.
- Any excessive forms of happiness are banned. Brendan Gallagher is seriously pushing the envelop but we understand he may have a condition known as chronicus smilus syndrome. It may be infectious...
- PK Subban's mix tapes are banned from the locker room.
- If you find Nathan Beaulieu's mix tapes, burn them.
- Goalies, if you manage to win a rare nail biter of a shootout, you are banned from striking a pose. It might put sand in the vaginas of your manly opponents.
- There is no I in TEAM. There is however TAME.
- When you score a goal, please submit a written apology to the goalie you scored on and forward a duplicate to his teammates/coach.
- An updated list of preset answers are available in your 2013 playing manual. Do not go off script. This includes badly handled responses that will result into media controversies.
-  All photos and films shall be done in black and white. We're trying to bring back tradition by going back in time.
- If you have a problem containing your personality traits, we'll have Dr. Mulder poke at your frontal lobe.

The War on Fun has come to town.

RIP Triple Low Five 2010-2012