The Montreal Canadiens Eating Game: Grey Cup Washington Turkey Edition

I'm pretty sure there will be enough drinks going around that a drinking game is rather moot. Considering it's American Thanksgiving, a healthy dose of gluttony could do us all some good. Maybe.

Montreal Bulldogs play the Capitals tomorrow. Hors d'œuvres for a Grey Cup Weekend! GO ALS GO! BEAT THOSE MELONHEADS! Please? I smell it! I smell a Grey Cup! Obviously Ovechkin isn't suspended. Is it ironic that Kaleta will probably be suspended for his hit from behind on a Flyer today?

As heard on the radio: Jean Perron wants to tell off Bob Gainey because, after all that has happened this past season, Sergei Kostitsyn is now on the top line. Excuse me while I HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA at your idiotic pure woolian face. (May I present to you Alexander Semin, who was SUED by his team to get him to play). And to all those who thought Gainey did wrong by not getting anything back for all those UFAs that left...what the fuck did you want? Trade Koivu for picks? Kovy? Komisarek? Are you out of your mind? I'm really sick of hearing people crab about that.

Actually, I'd pay money to see Jean Perron man up and try to tell off Bob Gainey as Bob stares deeply into his soul.

Just like I'd pay money to see Cammy and Gorges fight. Hot~! But for now, here's the Montreal Canadiens Eating Game:

EAT!
...every time you see Ovechkin line up a hapless (helpless?) Habs who's busy digging or dumping a puck. Have a beer with your meal if it's Pacioretty.

...when you see Bruce Boudreau getting all puffy. Top it off with some pudding.

...as Benoit Brunet and Pierre Houde do their best Statler and Waldorf impressions en français. Then throw popcorn.

...for every mention of Latendresse, his ice time, or what he had for lunch. Grab a bag of marshmallows if they run a new highlight reel with his new colours on.

...a bag of chips for the 5 minutes of ice time Chipchura with get and become the victim of his linemates.

...soup! Because Sergei will set up a great play and someone else will screw it up. And it'll make you ill to hear people blame him for the outcome.

...happily as more good news about Markov is reported. Take another serving for Gionta updates.

...for every mention of Pleky's pending contract negotiations, have some cold turkey.

Of turkey and turkeys

I'm not very fond of turkey, but I am quite fond of the day off. In fact, in the world I plan to take over (either quietly or hostile, I've not decided yet) I would declare every Monday a Thanksgiving so we can all sit at home, relax, and give thanks to various thing we may not all agree on. Of one thing I am thankful of: I'm not a Leafs fan. The other thing I'm thankful of: I'm not a Canucks fan.

And here I thought Canadiens fans were awful...

So while we may not have won the game in Vancouver, we apparently left our mark by smacking one of the creepy twins (Daniel) with a puck on the foot and he's now out 4 to 6 weeks. Apparently news of this was greeted with...cheers? Aren't these guys like the Kostitsyns, in that they're joined at the hip, so when one goes down the other gets useless? Were these not the guys who took advantage of my tired and weakened team and pulled out a gazillion points on them for the first win of their season? Not that I care, but wow... When I heard the story of "panic" at the beginning of the season when the Curse of the Contract Extension went out in full force, I'm starting to believe their ranking of 5th most worst fans in the NHL... And sorry, you can't trade Luongo. You have him for life now.

Another thing I'm thankful for: I'm not a Nordiques fan. Forever dreaming the impossible dream...

Really? Can Quebec City actually support an NHL team again? I would love it. Red Bull seems to sponsor plenty up there. For one, it would take the heat of my Habs. But first that damn arena needs to be rebuilt (or a new one alltogether as it would be impossible to share with the Remparts). And second, which sorry team gets to move up there? Islanders? Thrashers? Panthers? I was hoping Tampa Bay as that would kill two birds with one stone (NHL team, the trio of Francophone Saviours). Third, who gets bumped out of the division? Bet ya Boston goes Atlantic. Which would probably make Boston happy, actually. But here's something that bothered me recently while the Habs were going through their ownership changes... Why didn't Pelladeau just buy the damn team back then to keep it there? Why the sudden interest now?

So what am I thankful for on the Habs front?

Well I'm thankful for Carey Price, having stolen us 4 points to the best of his abilities. And when the team will play better, so will he. I'm thankful for Brian Gionta. I've mentioned before how I've always been a fan of the guy, and his timely goals always give the team a chance at a victory. I'm thankful for Andrei Markov. Without the General, it will be harder to get a victory, but imagine how it must be for him right now? Sitting at home, trying to heal as fast as possible, watching his team struggle to get any wins without him... It must be hell. I'm thankful for Mike Cammalleri. He's just itching to score, and I'm sure he will, but he's got this opportunistic value that was rare on this team last year. I'm even thankful for Gomez, who may float around like Kovy, but is it not cool when he zooms down the ice with the puck like a Harlem Globetrotters? Also you can't knock his pride. There's word a dumbass tossed a Habs jersey onto the ice after the Calgary game, and he came back out to pick it up. I think he was also the Rangers player I saw who picked up one of the "Go Habs Go" banners in the 0-5 comeback game... I'm thankful for Josh Gorges, who's grown nicely since coming here. And while he's not Markov, he's busting his arse nightly to make up for that huge hole.

No one ever said this game was easy, and the Habs never get anything easy... So we can only be thankful we have a team to cheer for, through the good and the bad, and right now they could use our support as they do what they can to play through these problems. And while it may look like we're in the running for the Taylor Hall sweepstakes or whatever it is this year, when the bodies return, we can watch them get right back on track.

Thanksgiving Monday, or How I Wish Someone Would Shove Their Stick Up Steve Downie's Arsehole

Here's my self-made Flyers shirt

Ok so maybe that wasn't very nice of me to say but fuck it. It's no secret I hate the Flyers and what they have brought to hockey since spawning from hell in 1967 and intimidating their way to a few Cups. It's no secret I think Bobby Fucking Clarke is a toothless douchebag who should have been banned for life for just breathing and not allowed near the NHL in any shape or form. It's no secret I think Steve Fucking Downie is a basketcase two steps shy of murdering someone on the ice. (Sergei! Your patented hip-checks are beautiful). And don't give me his sob story. He's a psycho, on skates, wielding a stick.

When you look at the history of this club, from the maniacs tending the net to a record of suspensions from all corners of the ice, you gotta wonder how long this club will go on before some dies by their hands. In Dryden's book, he takes a look at what the Flyers have done. Like myself, he believes they destroyed hockey. Sure the Bruins were "big and bad" but they paled in comparison to the Flyers, who's mantra appears to be based on how many crackheads they can draft by how many penalty minutes they've got in relation to how many goals they've scored.

So sitting for my morning coffee, I picked up the Sports section and took a gander at the pre-game article where actual players will face the goons at the "Bankrupt Bank Centre" tonight at 7. My only consolation is that half their D is awaiting surgery already, Biron was pulled from their home opener with a 15.00 GAA, Downie's got sore knees and Hatcher the Skating Gorilla is sideline indefinitely. Maybe there is a god?

Ok, I do like Niittymaki. I think he was robbed that starter position from Biiiiiirooooon. Even though he's still recovering from surgery, I'm hoping he'll be in nets tonight instead of that Nords-loving chirper (you are not Ron Hextall, Biron). Still, some things don't sit right.

Flyers coach John Stevens says Downie will be in the lineup and that the Habs can expect a physical game. Translation: I can't coach these idiots to play well enough so they'll come in elbows-first, as usual.

Captain K, meanwhile, is paging Serge Savard by saying he hopes the momentum of whipping the Leafs and last years playoff loss will fuel his team's confidence. Translation: Let us show you how it's done.

"This is not only a victory for the Canadiens; it is a victory for hockey. I hope that this era of intimidation and violence that is hurting our national sport is coming to an end. Young people have seen that a team can play electrifying, fascinating hockey while still behaving like gentlemen." - Serge Savard

Sorry, Serge. It's 2008 and we're still seeing it.

The Flyers are pissed from their home opener loss, the Habs are stoked from crushing Toronto's hopes of an 82-win season. All I want is a win, boys. And please, no one gets hurt...