Habs 4, Whalercanes 3 (SO): Win ugly

Weird bounces are weird, but they happen. No clue why that second goal was even allowed considering the Canes knocked the puck down off the net with what is technically a high stick. But hey, crawling back in a game is good for the soul. My heart? Not so much.

Felt like every time the puck was in the Habs defensive zone, Habs would auto-switch into pylons. It was so easy for the Canes to just walk up to the front of the net, either alone or with a friend to flip a pass to.

Let me talk about Lars Eller, though. HE WAS A WINGER ON THE FOURTH FUCKING LINE!!! Yes, let's slam this incredibly talented big CENTER onto the wing with Nokie and Darche. Result: Does not work! But then Eller goes out on the penalty kill, as a center, and with his pure strength and determination causes absolute chaos in the Canes zone, gets rewarded with a goal. And not just any goal. It was an important goal that brought the game within 1. It was a shorthanded goal.

Then Gomez pulled his groin and couldn't play in the 3rd. Sometimes Hockey Gods are dicks. Here? They looked down upon Lars Eller and said "Rise, my son, for you are totally better than this". He really is a completely (and more awesome) player while at center eh? Maybe it's because HE'S A FUCKING CENTER! So there he is, Habs tied the game early in the 3rd. He wins a faceoff in the offensive zone, and immediately battles hard on the boards with the puck for what felt like 30 hockey seconds. Even when he loses a faceoff, he continues to battle hard for the puck. He picks up an assist on Moen's game tying goal. All that good work and what happens? Doesn't even see the ice in overtime.

He ended the game with a goal, an assist, +2, 2 shots on net, a shmidge under 13 minutes of ice time (where, criminally, 22 seconds was on the powerplay)...and was the game's first star.

Put that in your damn notebook, Jacques.

Also put this in your damn notebook: FIX THE POWERPLAY! Another 4-minute powerplay wasted where the Canes had more shorthanded chances to score than the Habs had with the man-advantage.

By the way, Erik Cole kind of sucks when he plays against his old team. C'mon man, you're supposed to be trolling them!

Habs 5, Jets 1: Spoilers!

They were partying since Wednesday for this. Naturally we come in to spoil your fun. Taking care of business, so to say.

The Gazette playing it safe claimed the Habs should graciously loose this one. Sorry but there's no room to be nice. Habs have been the nice guys for far too long and all they get is shit on by the League.

The panic button has been un-pushed for now.
- Your loud arena doesn't scare us. It's just a mini Bell Centre, only the fans aren't bitter. Yet.
- OK they're even cheering for Ron Hainsey. Give 'em time...
- And it shall be known that the return of the Jets was met by a shitty dead-cat version of our anthem courtesy of off-key Jim Cuddy and Chantal Kreviaczuk wearing a crow.
- Nice tribute to Rypien. Even has a clip of him punching it out with Greg Stewart.
- RDS makes it difficult to watch games without a scoreboard graphic. I have no idea what time it is.
- Cammy victimizes Oduya for the first Habs goal of the year and it's gorgeous. He has atoned! And became an answer in a trivia question.
- Then Cammy gets cut by a skate. Gone for 2 weeks. FUCK IT!
- Desharnais doesn't give a damn how tall you are.
- Emelin played AWESOME. And no worries about communication. Pleky speaks Russian too.
- Plekanec's first goal of the year is a highlight reel goal. Czech on Czech.
- Also should be noted he was very upset with the game in Toronto. Excellent response.
- Carey Price was rocking to the music when not joking around with the ref.
- First Jets goal is bullshit. Typical. And I think they still have the same goal horn as the Moose.
- Price should play sick more often.
- Everyone shits on Engqvist. Hello? He's not going to wow you. His job is penalty kill and take faceoffs, of which he was excellent in doing today. Even against Little, who usually KILLS us.
- With Spacek out, it pays to have a Swiss Mister on the 4th line. First powerplay goal against in the returned-Jets rink.
- What? We're losing?! GOON IT UP, BOYS! You're such an awesome coach, Claude.
- Your refs for the day were 3 guys from Winnipeg, plus some other guy. Doesn't matter, they ended up losing their shit anyway.
- Sorry Winnipeg. Just because you're new doesn't make you exempt from hockey rules. Beside, you had a zillion powerplays to do something.
- Moen undressed 2 defencemen and Pavelectric while Allan Walsh bitched about Pierre-Marc Bouchard's suspension.
- Diaz did not fear nor give up on Big Buff, and stole the puck away.
- Gio's so smart: He was pissed at the non-call on the holding of his stick behind the Jets' net right in front of the ref. Rammed into Buff to draw interference.
- Memo to Winnipeg: Your attempts to bug Price are ineffective.
- Memo to the Jets: You pissed off Price, you did not score another goal.
- Patches rockets one in. Fuck you Chara!
- Diaz took that penalty on purpose just to take his helmet off. *swoon*
- Still think the Habs are small? Andrew Ladd hates our small forwards.
- Our 31 is better than your 31.
- He also stole the puck.

He just wants to give you hugs, Pleky.

Tweet of the Game: @AndrewBerkshire Winnipeg wanted the Jets back, and to be fair.... they got the Jets.

Habs may be "small" but they have guts. And yes they'll have more games like that lame one in Toronto...but they'll also have energetic ones like today. It's just how it goes in an 82-game season.

So we're told it's 2 weeks for Cammy. Also Blair Betts is returned-to-sender because the fucking Flyers tried waiving a guy that can't play due to injury. (And fucks up the Flyers salary cap problem, not to mention they now have 50 contracts. Suckers). Hey, fuck you Hockey Gods. There, I said it.

Monday's child

I'm not in any way condoning Cammalleri's actions and I'm fine with the 1-game suspension. Any more would have been pure idiocy. But what's the point of the NHL saying they're serious about the lateral blindside hit that they sent a video to every team to watch when, in reality, they'd rather deal with the problem after it's happened and your player is left drinking his meals for a few weeks? Here you had a bitter rookie looking to prove something going after a guy half his size, where while you may be aiming for the shoulder, the only thing you're bound to get is the head. (Think of Hal Gill's famous 2-minutes for being tall penalties). All it would have taken was one twitch on Cammy's behalf in the wrong direction, or one wrong movement that would have prevented him from seeing Nino at the last second, or one reaction too slow to protect himself, and what would we have? Cammalleri would have joined the queue with Marc Savard at the doctor's office for head trauma and we'd be without our star sniper for the year, and probably a huge chunk of his contract term.

It's a prime example of the lack of respect that's plagued this League for a long time now.

"But he didn't get hurt," is what I hear. That's not the point. Have we all forgotten about the intent to injure rule? "But we couldn't determine he was looking to injure," is what we'd hear. You're telling me you can't tell after over 100 years of playing pro-hockey when a guy isn't headhunting? Have we not seen this time and time again? Especially considering the score, the timing, and the type of team the Islanders iced. Ironically Dean McAmmond was out there last night. He knows all about getting knocked out in pre-season...

Cammy got his message and probably wishes he handled the situation differently because now he'll miss the first game of the regular season. But what did little Nino learn? Did he learn not to do that dangerous play again? I seriously doubt it. Jump on the "blaming the victim" all you want, I know what I saw. Interestingly enough, no news outlet seems to care to show what this highly touted prospect attempted to pull. All we hear is how Cammalleri suddenly went postal and nothing was mentioned about why he flipped out.

And frankly don't come on the air offering your sanctimonious self-righteous bullshit either, especially if you start your sentence with "I didn't see the game but (I saw the propaganda TSN replay)." Mentioning the wicked kapow he gave Havlat when he was with the Flames holds no bearings on what happened Saturday. And Georges Laraque's "I told you so" crap was the ultimate in comedy. As if an invited tussle with Raiders of the Lost Ark villan, Jeremy Yablonski, would have stopped the Islanders from running after Cammalleri or Lars Eller... Now that I mention it, Big Georges' presence never stopped anyone from running our players because everyone knew he wouldn't go unless you agreed to it (assuming he was even playing, and that has nothing to do with Jacques Martin cutting your ice time, Georges).

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Meanwhile, Derek Boogaard is apparently getting a humanitarian award for spearing Chris Neil in the balls.

Seriously, Collie? What's taking you so long on this one?

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The Count of Danny Kristo got suspended a game for having beer. He's 20 years old. Apparently he's old enough to vote, drive a car, and probably own a gun. But a beer in University is a HUGE no-no!

The Count of Danny Kristo needs to move to Canada now.

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The Habs goal song is getting lame. I mean, U2? Really? Well, considering most teams in the League use Garry Glitter or Zombie Nation, I guess it's better than that. I was disappointed when Simple Plan's song "Generation" was only used for one year. Sure I hate that band... However they're a local group, the song is fresh and rocking, and the lyrics fit well.

What should the Habs consider using?

I keep hearing people say the Habs should take an Arcade Fire song for a goal song. But which song? Their new single seems more fitting for a video montage... And can you find me an Arcade Fire song that doesn't make you feel like you want to head for the nearest bridge and leap...?

Pre-season: Kicking around some kids sure makes a town happy

We can't stop here! This is Nordiques country!

The pre-season is finally over.

And with a 7-2 romp of the Other Islanders (the true roster was somewhere beating up the Devils), it's time to head off into the cold October sunset and prepare for the long grind of the regular season. Naturally RDS spent most of it's time talking Blue so they missed Nino Niederreiter attempted blindside on Mike Cammalleri (you know, the one the NHL made a video of to try and curb headshots) which started this whole sequence of a pissed off Cammalleri going after the freshly minted draftee ending in Cammalleri going Bobby Clarke on his leg. (Apparently Nino was left with a bruise, oh boohoo).

As my brother said "nothing is worse than an angry rookie in a terribly lumpsided romp".

Of course later on a 3rd period faceoff, a Not-So-Islander went after Lars Eller from behind. Ryan White tried to clean up the mess, but it was Jaro Spacek who ended up getting jerseyed and clocked for playing Good Cop. Slap Shot was on the movie network before the game. Maybe the boys got inspired.

But that's OK 'cause TSN's headlines were already calling for a suspension on Cammalleri. And while Cammy could have done like Eller and take it to them on the scoreboard or with a big hit, his infraction is not suspendable. Then again the NHL works in mysterious ways. And he wears a Habs jersey.

So what can we say about the play tonight? (Other than it was 40 minutes too long)
- Tomas Plekanec has taken out all the tools of the crafty box. An amazing fakeout on Manny Legace by purposedly shooting the puck at the boards to get the rebound Brian Gionta style? You sneaky bastard, I love the new Plekanec!
- Alex Picard has shown us the Alex Picard we all know from his time with the Sens. In other words, the Alex Picard that drove SLC mad. (Sample quote: "Alex Picard has already cost me five stress balls, two remotes and one neighbour so far this season.") Fitting that he's got Brisebois' old number.
- Regardless of who the competition was, Price looks to be rounding into regular season form. There was a sequence where the puck was going goalie pong in our end. The Not-So-Islanders could have scored 5 goals right there but he stood his ground. And the team REALLY NEEDS TO LEARN HOW TO TAKE A PASS FROM HIM!
- Yea it was men against boys out there (for the most part) but our defense really needs to stop drooling.
- Thanks for practicing the powerplay and penalty kill too.
- Gorges on the powerplay blows my mind. I love him though.
- Nice to see the coaches finally seem to be sticking with a forward up high. It only took a year of everyone screaming at you to do this to finally get it done.
- Well, PK obviously stays. Legace needed ointment after that goal.
- Eller most likely will stay though I wouldn't mind it if Randy&Randy can take him for a few weeks. The Great Dane is big, hard to catch, and will draw penalties like nobody can. He also doesn't get rattled when gooned.
- I wish Pouliot could go on a conditioning stint. Sure it was probably his best pre-season game yet, he still looked lazy on a few plays.
- I want Ryan White to staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.
- The Colisée is a shitty building. Or as I call it, the "'Ostie Calissée". Still, fun to see NHL players in junior benches.

By the way, if you want the Nordiques back, don't come crying to the federal government for money. Especially when you send separatist politicians to ask.