Habs 2, Bruins 1: Trumpets and all that fanfare

Allow us to bask in this glow...

First in the Atlantic, baby!

Exhausted? Check. Carey Price? Check. Bruins? Teehee. Got Pleks? Hell yes.

And they scored those goals after I noted how gassed they looked, figuring they won't score a single goal tonight. Reverse psychology!

Game 3 - Habs 2, Bruins 4: Pre-Easter special

It started off putrid. I think there were two Habs on the ice on Krejci's easy backdoor goal. I know there was plenty off hot air on that 2nd lucky goal off the wall. And the laissez-faire attitude of the team as Price played the puck only to have it go straight to a Bruin with an easy empty net. Heads! Get 'em out of your asses!

And then like magic, Andrei "Bum Ankle" Kostitsyn made Chara look like the drooling pylon he can be and scored through Thomas' rickety wickets. Plekanec joined the party doing a similar trick. It was delicious, like the middle of a Cadbury Creme Egg...only to have them pull Price for the extra man and dribble the solid effort on our sleeves. Pity.

At least they didn't give up.

Sweating it out: Bruins looked mighty tentative after the Habs started scoring...and coming at them in waves.

Lady Luck: Right up Timmy Thomas' arse and out Horton's nose.

Fo shizzle: If only we could bottle PK's enthusiasm and hockey smarts then force feed it to Pouliot. Otherwise, stick Chicken on the grill. He's done.

Nanny State: Even though he was called for a penalty he missed and technically charged the boards, any chance you can maybe suspend Pouliot for 20 games just to get him out of the line up? (My brother: WE WANT PALUSHAJ!)

On vacation already: Guys were goofing around in the morning skate. Price wasn't happy about it. JMart addressed it but for some reason they still came out unprepared to compete. What happened to "all business"?

Wonder Twins ACTIVATE: It was only a matter of time before Spacek/Hamr cost the Habs some goals against.

Mighty Mite: There's something infinitely satisfying seeing Gionta check Chara hard.

Mighty Not-So-Mite: Just like there's something infinitely satisfying seeing PK knock Lucic into the boards clean and hard.

Contract: Please sign Wiz.

Small things amuse small minds: Really if you're satisfied with that win, Bruins, go buy me a lotto ticket. I'm guaranteed the jackpot.

Crowd watch: Satisfied Bell Centre despite the loss. Obviously they appreciated the effort and tried to will the team to victory with their energy. Almost worked.

Started off with too much wrong and not enough right. All those little things that won them the previous two games didn't show up 'til after Andrei scored and even then the rebounds went to no one. Hope Weber can come back into the lineup. Pouliot deserves to visit the pressbox.

Game 4: Let's get some COMPETENCE back!

Top 10 ways Habs can win Round 1

10. Sign Stan Chion to a try out. Re-introduce him to Chara. I hear they've had a falling out and Stan is eager to get reacquainted if you know what I mean.

9. Yes boys! That is indeed Tomas Kaberle. Andrei Kostitsyn's favourite pylon.

8. Repeat after me: The penalty box is an evil place. Life is better skating freely.

7. Remove Pouliot's brain and replace it with the fully cloned brain of Max Pacioretty Dr. Mulder was growing since he went down. Considering how quickly he recovers and how pain resistant he is, the brain should be fully functional within the hour. Finally, Pouliot will be a competent hockey player and not the laziest first rounder in his draft class.

6. It's Happy Ryder Hour at all Montreal pubs!

5. Have Alex Auld wear his mask the whole time to forever have the Eye of Dryden on Boston's soul.

4. When the going in Boston gets tough, distract them with a "OMG THERE'S A YANKEES FAN OVER THERE!" Sit back as the chaos ensues, and return to the hockey game.

3. That Bruins Bear would make a mighty fine trophy for Carey Price's hunting collection.

2. Ryan White is a BAD ASS MOTHER FUCKER! Cry "Havoc!" and let slip the dogs of war!

1. Have Lars Eller invoke the power of Tore Vikingstad, Norse God of Hockey. The Great Dane will write his own chapter in hockey history.

Habs 4, Booins 1: Beauty and the Beast

He's a beautiful boy. He's our baby power forward. When I see him I see Mike McPhee with a hint of Brian Skrudland in OT during the playoffs.

I'm a little out of sorts right now. Fact is, it takes a lot to make me cry and I was in tears. And when they had him in the stretcher and Carey Price put his hand on his arm, I lost it. I bawled.

All this on the very day Todd Bertuzzi ended Steve Moore's career. We've come a long way to go nowhere, NHL. Just like my dog when he chases his tail. It's never ending.

We should be talking about Lars Eller, who together with linemates Andrei Kostitsyn and Travis Moen have something like 17 points in 6 games. They were all over the Bruins every time they touched the ice. They were intense, quick, they beat them will skill and toughness. Eller was responsible for the 2 even strength goals in the first period.

We should be talking about Brian Gionta. The little captain who could has now scored a goal in every game against the Bruins this year. His powerplay goal in the 2nd made it 3-0 and started planting seeds of doubt into the Bruins.

We should be talking about James Wisniewski, who added another powerplay goal to make it 4-0 and completely crush the spirit of the Bears. Sure the cage is still getting in the way but he's still a better defenceman with the cage on than Bergeron will ever be.

We should be talking about the dominating effort by the Habs, who played the way they always play against this team when they win instead of that gong show last game. We should be talking about Scott Gomez, who played like he saw the Stanley Cup waiting for him around the corner. We should be talking about Ryan White, who stood up for Subban and introduced his fists to Boychuk's face. We should be talking about Carey Price's 32nd win of the season and the Habs' 5th in a row. We should be talking about the strong defence, or how Brent Sopel hasn't been in a loss yet. We should be talking about Paul Mara.

Instead we're left talking about the ugly side of this sport. We're talking about an extra shove with 15 seconds remaining in the 2nd period that left Kevin Weekes thoroughly disgusted on NHLNetwork for how unnecessary it all was. This while Blob McKenzie gathers tweets from his colleagues to prove a point that he thinks it wasn't dirty. Funny that, 'cause I'm sure you could easily gather a collection of quotes on how various serial killers were "nice guys" too.

Carey Price said it best, that there's no excuse, they all know where they are on the rink. Especially a veteran like Chara. The man must be an idiot. And to come out (well he was hiding on the bus, but the Boston PR guys told him to come out) and basically blame the victim was as classless as can be. But don't worry, Chara. Damien Cox is blaming THE RINK! That's like running over a guy with your car then getting out to yell at the guy for hitting your windshield.

I'm sure Brad Marchand thought he was diving.

And there I was ready to credit the Bruins for keeping quiet in the 3rd and basically hoping it ends quickly when Lucic prodded Pouliot with 2 minutes left in the game and wanted to fight him while Horton smirked in Subban's face. (What an ugly fuck he is). You know what Bruins? Take you classless asses back to Beantown and drown in your chowdah. Even most of the Bruins fans were disgusted by Chara's actions tonight. They know. They've been through Marc Savard and Patrice Bergeron. (Bergeron acted more captainly than the giant petulant child post-game with his comments so kudos to him).

While Pacioretty spends a night at the Montreal General with his parents by his side, I hope Chara goes home and hugs his children and Blob McKenzie calls his son to see how he's doing with his hockey career. Tonight, Pacioretty could have had his neck broken on that divider. Tonight, Pacioretty's career could have ended.