Habs 4, Caps 1: No ribs for you

Ultimate poker face

What is this? This...thing called goal cushion? It was such a rarity in these recent years I don't think we know how to react to it.

It's like Markov and how everyone is remembering how he used to play. It's been THAT long. Coincidence this is coming as he's actually playing. That's the problem with this fan base: selective, short, and sometimes revisionist memory. It's already starting with regards to PK.

I was initially scared, then curious how HCMT2.0's Habs would play on the road against the Caps who haven't won a game yet. He claimed they will play their game and not give much of a crap how the Caps come out. You could understand after years of being promised things like "puck possession" and such that one would be wary of a coach's promises, Or too often the Habs would just be boring on the road. Pretty much everything the coach said was done.

Of course it helped the Caps continued to play like shit.

Somewhere Mickey Ribs is complaining about something
- Waaaahhhh.
- You could shoot Price with a poison dart and he wouldn't flinch. Actually you could probably toss a nuke in his lap and he'd knock it away to the side.
- Don't look now but I think Adam Oates' brow furrowed!
- Of course it took four (FOUR!) goals in the second period for that poker face to crack, slightly.
- Then again it could have just been the lighting.
- Markov! Pleky! Gionta! Gorges!(?)
- Incredible set up by Bourque on Gionta's goal. If this GOOD Bourque continues and BAD Bourque remains buried somewhere in the trunk of a car then no buyout for him!
- Can't say the same for Kaberle. The KaKa-Cube pairing was killing me, even when they were up 4-0. Dump him and give the money to PK.
- Only other problem in a rather perfect night was the faceoffs. Putrid. I think I only remember one win, and it was Ryan White. And they lost the puck right after anyway.
- I don't know about you but the Caps haven't been the same since they lost that playoff series to the Habs. They keep trying to change, but honestly, maybe they should just go back to their old selves. At least they were a better show...
- And stop fuxing with Ovechkin. Let him play!
- Cole takes some time to warm up, but DD still isn't good... Here's a suggestion: Put Galchy between Cole/Pacioretty and let Eller play between Prust/Gally. If it doesn't work, switch the two and see how that looks.
- Emelin was epic on the penalty kill.
- I think we have a winner! The better Swiss Mister is Diaz. Though to be fair he did play a long time in the Swiss League so he has that edge over Weber...

Ça roule...

The bottle-mic is Gallagher.

Habs 7, Jets 3: Danish Dynamite

"Je suir trés content pour Lars!" said Cunney while giggling. Seriously, I love this guy. Martin would have walked in with a sequoia up his arse and spewed the same old boring dull press conference.

Two goals in 43 seconds, with GORGES opening the scoring to celebrate that new contract. First goal of the year for Kaberle, and his last goal was last year against the Habs. Three goals in 50 seconds. Plus a penalty shot. Anyone who dares to break up the Stooges Line (Moen-Larry-Kush) should be immediately slapped. They did this last year when Martin randomly put them together, and then inexplicably broke them up after the trio went on an absolute tear.

Kostitsyn looked like the GOOD version of Kovalev.
Moen looked like he was ready to skate through walls and over mountains. Nearly had the opening goal of the game with barely a few minutes off the clock.
And Lars Eller...

It's because I went looking for an Eller #81 t-shirt at lunchtime today, right? I didn't find one. Now I'm probably going to have to fight people off for one.

Not since Jan Bullis did a Hab score four goals in one game, and that was in Philadelphia. NHLN tells me the last Hab to score four at home was Brian Bellows...in 1993!

Ah hell just watch the highlights. Seriously, words can't describe Eller and his linemates tonight. They needed the win badly. They needed to win at home badly. And like Gorges said, every game is Game 7 for them now.

Jorge!

Warrior.

We can now all breathe a sigh of relief and continue thanking Craig Rivet for 6 more years, as Josh "Jorge" Gorges just got his lovely contract extension. Also now people can stop bitching about how the Habs have a silly mandate to wait until the year is done to give out extensions.

Oh. Right. People are just going to bitch about how he could have been cheaper if they did this in the summer. You know, before seeing if his knees were going to hold, which even he didn't know. (And wasn't on a Markov level of seniority yet).

That's one important piece locked up...

Habs 3, Coyotes 2 (OT): Once the dust settled...

Talk about giving us the scare of the year there.

Already down Gomez, Kostitsyn, and Cammalleri, when Pleky tumbles awkwardly into the boards knee first.

As he's dragged off the ice, I bid adieu to the season that was sucking anyway and started picturing how Grigorenko would look with the Habs, considering the BJs definitely have a lock on Yakupov and we could use a big skilled center. Strange thing happened though... Habs went all out on Mike Smith in the first period even though they were down 1-0 and lost their number 1 center. It took his injury to show how effective the powerplay could be if Pleky wasn't on the point of it. And they left that period with 17 shots to Phoenix's 7.

Then Pleky came back, and all of Montreal could breathe again. They got outshot 17-10 in the 2nd, but ended up ahead 2-1. Pleky was out there for both Habs goals. Gionta's quick steal pounced on a sleeping Mike Smith after Pleky did some work behind the net, and Gionta's pass to a flying Moen ended with a pileup between him and Pleky in the crease. Totally robbed a game star from the homer pick of Raffi Torres who was a non-factor until he found a free puck in a pileup with a wide open net.

Of course their bizarre formation in the 3rd which was basically 9 guys walled up around Price while Yandle had a triple lifetime to shoot on net for a bobbling puck that ran into Torres and into the net nearly cost them the game. The Coyotes were aggressive while the Habs tried rope-a-dope. Yes, I was screaming at my tv, "CLEAR THE PUCK OUT OF THE ZONE AND GET THE FUCKING POINT!" I want a team that plays to win, thanks.

And warning to Diaz. Throwing the suplex will only get you benched by JMart. Un-fucking-real, coach. Emelin's ice time cut in the 3rd when they could have used him to dump guys like Torres from Price's face. I swear he gets benched more with every hit he throws...

OT has Jorje getting rocked by Yandle. Jorje didn't appreciate it much. But that's ok because Eller finally gets to play with Cole, sets up the puck, and Jorje blasts it through Smith. He swears. We cheer. Two big ass desert points. An arena full of happy Habs fans (seriously). Price is now 5-0-0 against the Coyotes, which should make for interesting dinners with the Doans.

Hey look! Time for our annual "get shut out by the Nashville Predators" trip! Yea I'm trying the reverse-jinx, but honestly I'll be happy if they can score at least one goal against the Preds instead of going 4 years looking like they couldn't give a fuck to play against them...

In other news:
My parents found out that leaving a pack of 3 steaks in a shopping bag on the floor isn't a very good idea. Especially when they forgot about the steaks in the bag on the floor. Let's just say they came back to find 2 steaks and a very happy puppy...