We need Markov cloned: Habs 2 Sens 3

I put this loss on you, Maple Leafs. And when our guy accidentaly breaks your porcelain defenseman, we hear it and see it on every sports channel and page known to man and Kostopoulos is turned into something he is not and suspended a few games. But the little turd runs our star ironman with definite intent in a late moment of a game well out of hand and puts him out for three weeks, we hear nothing of it. Confuckingratulations.

Whatever.
- Gorges to Grabovski: I suggest you think about the KHL next season. Komisaurus is also waiting to plaster you into the wall.
- It's Monday and raining. Bad day for a game. But at least the crowd was by their side. Loud and proud, yo. I watched the Canucks game yesterday and it was dead silent... until they started booing as they slowly lost to the Avalanche.
- Breezer finally gets his silver stick and crystal thingy for his 1000th game. The stick was presented to him by the Pocket Rocket.
- Tanguay hitting the crossbar while standing in front of the net on a perfect Kovy-fake out...was vintage Robert Lang.
- Oh Higgy, a wide open net and you can't bank it in... It's that hesitation and sluggish reaction that will be the death of you.
- Kovy vs Ruutu all night. Ruutu didn't really work out though as Kovy got a goal that only Kovy can do.
- No Markov, No Schneider, No power play...
- Refs were absolute garbage. Don't get the high stick on Komisaurus but you sure get the one dealt by O'Byrne. Don't get the two head shots on Koivu or the tripping of Lapierre right in front of your eyes, but you sure love to pick on O'Byrne and a dive by Neil. And my idea of a cross check isn't a guy falling on another guy in a net scrum. It takes a lot to make Bob Gainey angry at you, so congratulations on managing that.
- Don't even get me started on that blown icing call that Gui! touched first a full 2 feet ahead...
- Speaking of Gui! it was fun watching players bounce off him.
- Anyone else on that team other than Heatley? No? Didn't think so.
- Tanguay, please stop with the drop passes unless you're sure someone on your team is there. And also please stop trying to Kovy your way into the zone. It really rarely works for you...
- Janik didn't do so bad actually. The sheer volume of the crowd could make him shit his shorts. He plays a bit like Hammer actually.
- Speaking of Hammer... Nice goal when they needed it but you really let guys walk in too much.
- If Jaro's legs were just a bit longer that second goal would have never happened. Maybe he could get flippers.
- Insert random swear words here.
- Can we maybe call over Yemelin or Korneev?

Conclusion: No more injuries. Please. For the love of all things great and small... At least the flu seems to have subsided. Still in seventh though. Yey.

"I'll go second" - Habs hero saves the East

A profile like no other.

If this will be Alex Kovalev's final season with the Tricolore--and I shudder to think of that possibility--then what a beautiful season AK27 has received by us fans. Diligent and unwaivering in our voting for him to be sent to the All-Star Game through much hoopla of auto-scripts, text messages, and the never-ending debate of whether or not he deserved to be there, here he is: named the Captain of the East and the game MVP with two goals, an assist, two posts, seven shots, a few jokes with Malkin while on the bench, a mini-check, some defensive play, on fire in overtime and out there for half of the time, a smile, a twinkle in his eye, and the game winning shootout goal of a rocket on a blinking Roberto Luongo that left Mr. Gillette stuned and awestruck. And in the usual Habs Backup Captain Kovalev fashion, the MVP truck will be sold and the money sent to his charity. (Though I think it'll be cool if he customizes it a bit before selling it with, say, an AK27 decal or something). I salut you Alex Kovalev. May you be signed here until you believe you can play no more.

And the rest of our brothers in the Bleu Blanc Rouge did not look out of place tonight either. Markov was the best defenseman out there, providing a goal and some excellent display of why he's so important to our team. A 4-on-1? No problem. And even showing his funny side when Serge Savard was welcomed to the lower bowl, Markov did the spin-o-rama right after for his own personal salut at the legendary defenseman. Komisarek got the first All-Star Game penalty in like 10 years and then tried to redeem himself with a few attempts. Had a very good opportunity that Luongo didn't think he would have shot. Price only allowed 2 goals on 11 shots at a time in the game when everyone was awkwardly skating around, wondering if they're supposed to blow up the score sheet or be kind and courteous. Almost had an assist with a beautiful outlet pass, schooling the other goalies on how to play the puck. Say what you will of Tim Thomas, but his method of flop-n-hope is not effective if players were smart enough to just aim high on him. Price has the most efficient style. Notice, Luongo is the same: also efficient. I'd rather have those two head for the Olympics even though I don't like seeing NHL players in Olympic games but that's another story.

And so the All-Star weekend comes to a close. The fun has been had, the people left happy, and the kids charities will benefit greatly. And once more, thank you Kovy. He was born to play in these games.

First the Juniors then the World!

I caught Team Canada's 7-0 smackdown on Slovakia yesterday, which wasn't too bad considering the team only got there an hour before the game thanks to SNOWMAGEDDON making their bus late. But how are the Habs kids doing? PK Subban nabbed 2 assists that sloppy night, worked pretty solid defensively (especially when the forwards didn't get back in time to help with a few odd-man rushes), and even though he wasn't in his speedy top self, he was everywhere. Set up some nice powerplay work, a couple of hits, did a few spin-o-ramas, and flashed that lovely smile! Also seems to enjoy messing around with Tavares, but can only dominate him at video games. Still, PK's got that scary hard shot.

Nicholas Torp is another defenseman in the Habs system. He's a lean, mean, hitting machine. A bit like Bouillon, actually, and not just 'cause he's vertically challenged. Totally railroads Pietrangelo there. Look out for number 6!

I haven't seen Kristo or McD yet, but I think their game is on tv this Friday afternoon. I do know that Team Canada is going to have one hell of a battle against Team USA, though. Tangradi is there too! (Subban's teammate with the Bulls).

Thanksgiving Monday, or How I Wish Someone Would Shove Their Stick Up Steve Downie's Arsehole

Here's my self-made Flyers shirt

Ok so maybe that wasn't very nice of me to say but fuck it. It's no secret I hate the Flyers and what they have brought to hockey since spawning from hell in 1967 and intimidating their way to a few Cups. It's no secret I think Bobby Fucking Clarke is a toothless douchebag who should have been banned for life for just breathing and not allowed near the NHL in any shape or form. It's no secret I think Steve Fucking Downie is a basketcase two steps shy of murdering someone on the ice. (Sergei! Your patented hip-checks are beautiful). And don't give me his sob story. He's a psycho, on skates, wielding a stick.

When you look at the history of this club, from the maniacs tending the net to a record of suspensions from all corners of the ice, you gotta wonder how long this club will go on before some dies by their hands. In Dryden's book, he takes a look at what the Flyers have done. Like myself, he believes they destroyed hockey. Sure the Bruins were "big and bad" but they paled in comparison to the Flyers, who's mantra appears to be based on how many crackheads they can draft by how many penalty minutes they've got in relation to how many goals they've scored.

So sitting for my morning coffee, I picked up the Sports section and took a gander at the pre-game article where actual players will face the goons at the "Bankrupt Bank Centre" tonight at 7. My only consolation is that half their D is awaiting surgery already, Biron was pulled from their home opener with a 15.00 GAA, Downie's got sore knees and Hatcher the Skating Gorilla is sideline indefinitely. Maybe there is a god?

Ok, I do like Niittymaki. I think he was robbed that starter position from Biiiiiirooooon. Even though he's still recovering from surgery, I'm hoping he'll be in nets tonight instead of that Nords-loving chirper (you are not Ron Hextall, Biron). Still, some things don't sit right.

Flyers coach John Stevens says Downie will be in the lineup and that the Habs can expect a physical game. Translation: I can't coach these idiots to play well enough so they'll come in elbows-first, as usual.

Captain K, meanwhile, is paging Serge Savard by saying he hopes the momentum of whipping the Leafs and last years playoff loss will fuel his team's confidence. Translation: Let us show you how it's done.

"This is not only a victory for the Canadiens; it is a victory for hockey. I hope that this era of intimidation and violence that is hurting our national sport is coming to an end. Young people have seen that a team can play electrifying, fascinating hockey while still behaving like gentlemen." - Serge Savard

Sorry, Serge. It's 2008 and we're still seeing it.

The Flyers are pissed from their home opener loss, the Habs are stoked from crushing Toronto's hopes of an 82-win season. All I want is a win, boys. And please, no one gets hurt...

Habs 3, Cats 2 (SO), 1 Misconduct, 10 Spin-o-Ramas, and a Partridge in a Pear Tree

I need to ask but are all exhibition games usually this crazy? Do fans always take them in like they're watching Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Championships? Against the Flordia Panthers? Wait, do I need to ask? I love this city.

If we like you, you will know
Gotta feel bad for Dandenault. He's an ok forward, has the speed, surprised me a few times with some puck-stealing ability and out-skating guys 10 years his junior...however, he's listed as a defenseman and hasn't really played a lick of defense, and when he does, he's rather...bad at it. All in all, when his reel shows up on the jumbotron, no one cheers. Then again, it didn't help him that much that last year, he was outspoken and whiny about not playing. I don't blame him though, he's a veteran with a few Cup rings and therefore kind of has the right to wonder why he's making that much cash to sit in the pressbox when he wants to play (unlike Grabs, who had maybe 20 games before going all petulant child). It's kind of mean though. I gave him some applause, but I felt like I was the only one. I though Kovy had the longest reel, but Price does. And the loudest applause too.

Dueling Goaltenders
The game's 1st and 1st star should have been a tie between Price and Vokoun. I realize the Cats have come off a long week of meaningless games, bounced from Alberta to PEI, and Vokoun entered with a 5.93GAA but he was a wall. Then again, the kids didn't really give him too many troublesome shots. One would hope a 15-year veteran could stop those, however he robbed Kovy and Kostitsyn plenty. On Price's side, well, the team has spent most of the week figuring who's going to be his back up, so he only got to play 2 periods in Detroit (and was fantastic). Sunday, defense took a walk and the forwards fell asleep, leaving a rusty goalie looking for his comfort zone and mostly all alone. Thankfully a dangerous 5-on-3 penalty kill went without incident. The first goal allowed took a weird bounce off his pad and over his glove (the laws of physics were extremely out of whack on that one) and the second was after making a flurry of close-ranged saves with no one helping to clear it out. But then it was good old Price, growing back to form, poking and proding Panthers blocking his view, generally pissing them off, and stoning Nathan Horton on a penalty shot. These two goalies made the game: Vokoun trying to rebound from a bad game, and Price trying to regain his regular season form. The evidence are in the shots, which remained equal after every period. The game ended in a shootout, with Price taking the prize.

The best official is the one you don't notice
I've heard this from people who have experience in refereeing hockey games, but those guys out Sunday night were either the biggest douchebags ever, or one of the Habs must have run over their puppy. Questionable calls from a guy leaning into Kovy's stick is interpreted as "holding" by Kovalev, to O'Byrne trying to avoid a collision on an abandoned bodycheck after realizing his teammate was going to do it became "charging", to letting the mid-3rd and overtime go to the crapper until it came down to one Panthers player practically shoving his stick down Beauregard's shorts to make a hesitant call. (I'll give them the 2nd and early 3rd as fair calls, even Fruit Punch's fight). Markov? Hooking and unsportsmanlike misconduct for bitching at the ref? Markov doesn't even SPEAK, and the hooking was his stick on the ice making a pokecheck and the tired Cat not being able to skate properly (I'll get to that). How about tripping Price twice who was trying to get up and go back to his net after making a cross-crease save and gets an armfull of Panthers? Thought I was watching the women's hockey game in Salt Lake City for a minute. It's not much of a big deal because it's an exhibition game, but it was troublesome as to how many trippings, slashings, and holdings one can ignore before someone gets injured while every minuscule motion is called on the other team. (And lets not forget who's on the roster here, 4 juniors and a stew of Bulldogs). A man sitting in the row below me yelled "This is the fucking NHL! Let them play already!" When a ref dictates the play, it's not a game anymore.

Maxim Lapierre's best punch is, according to him, "fruit punch"
Ok, he had a fight. Are people happy now? I think he did ok in it. Looked more like a wrestling match with Fruit Punch tugging the guy's sweater over, old school style. Bouillon's was weird. He did a clean check (and the guy didn't even fall down) and then another guy twice his height chased him down a minute later. What's with O'Byrne and Panthers, too?

Legs don't bend that way
These Panthers started out strong, but their fatigue got the better of them when one skater going for the puck suddenly found his left skate going one way while his right skate went the other as he crashed into the boards, hard. Price gave the ref his stick after the guy managed to drag himself to the bench. Moments later two more Panthers nearly did the same (plus the fumbled play around Markov that looked like "hooking"). I think the NHL needs to rethink their preseason schedule next year. Too many people are getting hurt, it seems...

Paging Serge Savard
P.K. Subban did about 5 Spin-o-ramas with one nearly going to the net. Markov tried some too that didn't work too well. The kids are rubbing off on the vets. But Subban won more fans tonight with his superman save, puck possesion puck moving skills, and afterburners. And Weber further solidifying his Stret 2.0 status. This could be the powerplay of 2010.

All in all, crazy game. (And another free pair of tickets for me)! The corporate Reds looked a bit empty, but we normals in the Greys and Blues were packed and cheering. The FUCKING wave went around the bowl 3 times, and we all shouted for CAREY! CAREY! CAREY! Seriously, including the shootout, that's about 40 saves there, a little less for Vokoun. Guys were robbed that star. Kovalev got the shootout win because he wanted to go home and see himself on some TV show. Ahhh...we love him.