Habs 2 but really 4, Panthers 1: IT'S A TARP!

Blow it out of your ass, Furlatt. Yet again 2 perfectly legitimate goals were disallowed in a fucking WEEK against this team. Do you really have to keep those tarps entertained down in Florida? Intend to blow, ok. But Moen was taken down as the puck flew into the net before he did. NOT EVEN A PENALTY CALLED.

Otherwise, no one really gives a fuck about a Habs-Panthers game on a Monday night. However, now that they won, we will be forced to watch the BouRay pairing fuck around on defence yet again! That's Wednesday versus the Flyers. Can you say "hat trick Clod Giroux"?

By the way, Price tweaked his groin in the first period. Looked ok for the rest of the game, even with Emelin and PK nearly Hamhuising him.

Habs 1, Panthers 2: Nice of you to start early

Honestly, don't give a shit.

I think my favourite part of the game (other than when Galchenyuk scored) was when Eller was starting a rush up the ice and was blowing past everyone, made it to the Panthers' blue line where Briere uselessly cut in front of him for some reason, kicking the puck off his stick and turning it over then watched as Eller went all the way back to fix his shit. Oh oh and THEN when the Habs had a lengthy powerplay, Eller was benched while Briere got some time to fuck around by the wall uselessly.

Can we mail him to the moon please? I can't take any more of this shit. OH BUT HEY GUYS WE MADE HISTORY BY PUTTING AN ACCENT ON HIS FUCKING JERSEY. ÇA SENT LA COUPE!

Habs 5, Panthers 1+1: We like Florida

Woah woah tabernac. 

No contest.

Florida sweep.
- Watching how the Habs started the game, didn't look like they played last night. Then again, the travel from Tampa to Sunrise isn't much. So long as you stay on the road.
- Ryan White draws a penalty by taking a page out of what Steve Ott did to him. Except Ryan White wasn't being a dick and didn't deserve to get attacked by a Yonkman for a clean hit.
- DD practicing his golf swing on Markstrom. Hole in one.
- Markstrom probably having cold sweat flashbacks of his days in Rochester when the Americans were the farm team for the Panthers, and the Bulldogs typically ate him alive.
- Remind me again why Hoobadoo should get the Calder, RDS? Whobadoo?
- I'm just wondering but does that Calder trophy always go to a high-ish scoring rookie on a shit last place team or is it the "We're Sorry You Play For Edmonton" trophy?
- Ryder went from playmaker to tip-in-point-shot-dude. Next he'll throw in some wristers. Moving up.
- That big save on Armstrong wasn't as exciting as it the play-by-play guys made it.
- Captain takes an elbow in the face, rubs it off on the bench, replies with a goal soon after. Terrible Florida defence.
- You know, I think Price's cousin Keaton Ellerby is the happiest Panther ever because they traded him to the Kings.
- Frankie Bou gets paid by the icing.
- Hey he scored a goal!
- And another, for the Panthers. This time he actually shot it behind Budaj instead of just a bad lazy tip.
- Emelin couldn't stop laughing.
- PK Subban has 18 points in 20 games. Tied for 3rd in the League, with less games. Probably won't get talked about for the Norris because he actually plays defence. Oh and he's PK Subban. HATERS.
- OK Panthers, we spot you a goal and a half. Now go home.
- Ryder's 2nd of the game brought to you by PK Subban's wrister from the point. Hey, he doesn't just bomb them. His wrister is just as deadly.
- I hear Mathieu Darche is attempting to inject some respect and reasonable commentary by, you know, actually knowing the Habs on L'Antichambre. Good luck, but you might want to take a job with the NHLPA. You're too intelligent for those mouthbreathers.

Are you sure you want to join the Northeast, Panthers...?

Habs 4, Panthers 1: Gally Squared

As perfect a game can be against a Florida team playing it's 3rd game in 4 nights. But I will repost that we've seen the Habs come out flying against a tired team only to shit the bed in the final 40 minutes and lose in a shootout, so I will take this victory for all it's worth!

Still. After watching Desharnais flop all over the place like he suddenly forgot how to play hockey against actual competition for now the 2nd game in a row, I hope HCMT lives up to his need to reward-sit players and for the love of god reinsert Lars Eller please! He didn't even win more than TWO faceoffs all night! Or is he still stuck on his L'Antichumps chair with a direct line to the mouthbreathers making sure le gars de chez nous is forever safe...

We still want PK!
- People may have forgotten what the powerplay looks like when Markov is on it. Even more so, I think they've forgotten what it looks like when Markov is on it with PK.
- Just like I think they've forgotten that Diaz is a sneaky point getter, not to mention a power play specialist.
- Remember when that line of Kovy-Pleky-AK46 was like the best in the League then sucked the year after? I'm getting deja vu with Cole-DD-Patches.... (Which is why I think DD needs a sit down. All about accountability).
- Carey Price has a tender groin? Or was it a goaltender groin? Because really, the guy is ridiculous.
- Kovalev looks like the opposite of the guy who had a goal and 2 assists in their first game of the season. Actually he helped out on Pleky's goal. For old times sake.
- Ryan White doesn't own a copy of the Georges Laraque Code Book. You throw a stupid hit on Josh Gorges, you get pounded. And he doesn't care if your name is Tomas Fleischmann.
- We clearly needed the extra power play/penalty kill work.
- Also that epic kill of White's misconduct, plus an extra interference penalty to Markov for an extended 5-on-3 needs to be bronzed and placed in the lobby.
- Galchy's tip was the thing Habs fans dreamed of...
- Gallagher gets his first assist on it too. And dished out a handful of hits
- Emelin wears a cage to contain himself.
- WHOberdeau?
- Really I'm just happy they finally scored goals. And scored goals on Scott Clemmensen.

New line: Prust-Galchy-Gallagher. Keep this please.

I'd like to personally thank the Florida Panthers for this extra practice game. Because I'm sure our asses are going to be kicked in Washington, who are still winless at 0-2. Then again...

Habs 2, Panthers 4: Ze puck, it does nothing!

Thank you, Patrick.

PK scored a goal and then finished the game pissed off. He tossed Price's chair. Price looked sad.

Sorry Caps fans, but they had to play Budaj today.

I hope that when the Panthers go into the playoffs for the first time since who remembers when that they'll fix those horrible cameras of theirs before the nation vomits all over the place.