Post-suck meeting and ostie de tabernak trade

Prout!

So the Habs had a Sunday meeting. Basically to talk about what they're doing wrong (everything), about their frustrations (all of it), about Kessel kissing Grabovski on the game winner (heh), and about whatever else they didn't want Gorges or Weber to tell us. Unicorns farting rainbows!

No practice either, 'cause you know who needs to practice passing and shit like that? Only Spacek and Price were on the ice after the meeting. Price was at the top of the circle launching bombs top-shelf. I'M NOT KIDDING WHEN I SAY HE COULD PLAY ON THE POWERPLAY!

Trade: or THANK GOD AK46 IS STILL ON THE TEAM!

So long Brrrrrock Trotter. You probably weren't going to play here anyway. And with Louis Leblanc coming back, you're being moved to give him development time. Also maybe Avtsin goes to the top line? You know, where he scores goals?

Trotter and a 7th round pick goes to the Coyotes for Petteri Nokelainen and Garrett Stafford. You may remember Stafford from such hits as "I got slashed in the skull by Perezhogin and lay on the ice twitching after I missed my own slash at his skull". Nokelainen is this guy:

Fourth line spot duty. This Coyotes' blogger was happy when he returned from Jokerit, after the Coyotes bought his contract out... But I'm all for badass Finns. Even those dumped by Boston. And beaten up by Carey Price. (Also recalled Blunden while sending down Engqvist and Palushaj. I dare say...a FOURTH LINE)?!

Look out Diaz, you got competition in the "pretty" department!

Time to squeal like a little girl!

Guess who's home?

Brrrrrrock Trotter is OFFICIALLY signed, sealed, and re-delivered after his mini self-imposed exile to Latvia playing for Dynamo Riga.

Like a good Habs prospect, he wears his trophy on his head.

At least he didn't get spirited away to Tampa Bay like JT Wyman. Yea, I'm still pretty pissed about that. And BabyPyatt is without a contract. Get on that Gauthier! We need our penalty killing specialist, and I don't care what the Team990 mouthpieces say.

Roll out the red carpet

Hockey season is about to start. Like tomorrow. We smelt it in the cold, crisp October air that rolled in. Soon it'll be about boots, shovels, and snow tires. And already the pundits are predicting doom.

Frankly predictions are for tools.

I don't like predictions. I don't like previews. I don't need a roundtable of guys in suits who get paid to repeat the same refrain every year. "Ovechkin/Crosby are tops! Penguins will win the Cup! The Sedins are inseparable!" Don't try too hard folks, you might bust an original vein. Assuming, of course, you have one.

Take your negativity, your Price hate, your Smurf jokes, your lack of toughness, and your warped Halak-saved-the-season nonsense and shove it. It's all about the Secret. Think positive and the Universe will reward you. Do like Cammalleri said. "Drop the puck."

And remember, the Stanley Cup is not awarded after game 1.

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This afternoon while at work I had the Coyotes playing Dinamo Riga streaming live on my other screen. It was great to see Brock Trotter again, who did all the work for Dinamo's only goal. Actually he created the first real scoring chance in the first period, coming out of the penalty box. Looks like he's playing as a winger, but he also took a faceoff on relief (and won it). He's still flying, still dangerous. Seems to be doing OK on the extra large ice surface. Even got a gorgeous breakaway that was replayed a few times but didn't score. Actually he had a few dangerous opportunities but was either hauled down, stopped, or missed. He's wearing 91, which is his Bulldogs number reversed.

But what an atmosphere. The Bell Centre terrorists could learn a thing or two from the Latvian crowd. They sang non-stop, played drums, on introduction they scream the players family name after the PA guy says the first name, they cheered their team even when they were clearly hopeless outmatched and losing 3-1. They gave goalie Chris Holt the love when he collected his player of the game trophy (though I'd have given it to Trotter or Hartigan, his linemate and the goalscorer, for their great play). The energy was completely positive. I wish we could feel the same kind of power here for our Habs...

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Disappointed that Ryan White was sent down today. Though I understand he's a victim of contracts and is one of the few that doesn't need to worry about waivers, it still sucks. The way the NHL is these days I'd rather let the kids play. Anyway, I'm sure he'll be back very soon.

Frankly I think White will be this year's Tom Pyatt. He'll stick once his waiver days are upon him. Until then, he gets to benefit off Randy & Randy.

Come back soon, Ryan.

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Seems Price got that flu that's been going around lately and might not start tomorrow. If he does somehow find the power to start, maybe he'll vomit on Grabovski as revenge for spearing him in the jock...

The other Bleu Blanc Rouge

Andre Dawson, aka THE HAWK, is going into the Hall of Fame this weekend wearing an Expos cap eventhough he wanted to wear his Chicago cap. You know...they should have made that new stadium, right across from the Bell Center. Shoulda, coulda, woulda. Now it's a bunch of condos and a parking lot. Kind of sad. Washington, you should know, you got a special part of this city that you better take care of (or else give it back).

Anyway, Annakin Slayd made this song and Cro plotz all over it on Friday. Way better than his Habs song, I think. If anything you'll be reminded of Bill Lee's HILARIOUSLY MASSIVE beard.

Also, PEDRO!!!

In other news: Sadness! My favourite little center/winger Brrrrrrock Trrrrrotter has packed his hockey bag for Latvia and the KHL after failing to come to terms with the Habs on his RFA status contract. LATVIA?! What the crap, dude? Ok, ok I know making the Habs is a long shot and you'll be making way more money there (a respectable 250k) for one year and could possibly return with some more experience under your belt like a couple of other Bulldogs did after a few years in Europe. It's just quite suddenly out of the blue. From Brandon, Manitoba to Dinamo Riga...maybe he'll get to play with Action Pants? (Or Girts Ankipans for those of you who didn't watch the Olympics).

Good luck in Latvia, #19... The Bulldogs will miss you and your amazing tenacioius effort to score goals. Basically our AHL's version of Cammy. At least we'll still have Rrrrrrrrrryan Rrrrrrrussell for the R-rolling goal calls. And Desharnais will take care of the scoring. But please, COME BACK WHEN YOU'RE DONE OK? And ignore the comments from Habs I/O. None of them actually watched you play...

This is for you, Brock.

Fail the Podium

Case in point if this were a team of spunky unknowns, perhaps the loss Sunday wouldn't be so aggravating? All I can think of while watching that game was "WHO ATE ALL THE PIES?! BRODEUR ATE ALL THE PIES! YOU FAT BASTARD!" Learn to butterfly and two of those goals don't go in. Meh. Where's Jordan Eberle when you need him...

Do I have any confidence in 7UONGO? Well, it's Germany. Lose to that and the whole country will collectively explode. At least we got ICE DANCERS!

Unfortunately there are no free wings when the Bulldogs score 5 goals...

Went to see the Bulldogs play the Bell Center and finally win a game there. Totally helped that the Baby-Flyers suck. I guess Matsumoto got into the All-Star Game for having great hair and being King Invisible. Easiest shutout Desjardins will ever get, in fact they seemed wary of giving him a star (he got 3rd) considering he had maybe one tough save that was more of a fluke. Save of the day was off his post and crossbar! Lord help us if he ever joins the Habs permanently (unless we get some awesome defense). It's really not that tough to get a shutout when you're goalie for the Bulldogs, and he almost screwed it up himself by insisting on playing the puck when he has no idea what to do with it. Meanwhile the Flyers continue to seek a proper goaltender...

Pyatt has his own fanclub!

Pyatt and Trotter scored twice and Grant Stevenson got a sweet shorthanded goal. Ceremonial faceoff was between Alex Henry and Jared Ross, and if you don't know how that looks then think of Chara vs Gionta. Brother's zinger of the night, "That's the only faceoff Henry will ever win." Discovery of the night: Apparently Conboy does faceoffs now. Mindfuck of the night was when the B-Flyers own Stevenson took a penalty on our Stevenson. But the Phantoms had so many powerplays yet apparently have no idea what to do on the powerplay. They all tried to cherry pick instead and the Dogs didn't let them succeed at that.

Can we keep them?

Habs 5, Pens 3: In which we suckerpunch you and steal your lunch money

When I saw the lineup for today's afternoon game I said that I hope they make it interesting at the very least. I know the Pens don't perform so good in afternoon games, so Jacques Martin's "sleep them to death" system would have been horrible. Thankfully it looks like they were following Guy Boucher's system. Add a little bit of luck to it, and we got free wings!

Thirty seconds in and Craig Simpson is already preparing his speech about the kids on line 4 and how Crosby will eat them alive once Disco Dan gets his matchups working when Darch collides with wandering Fleury behind the net and Pleky scores. If Chris Lee were reffing, he'd be all over that. Marouelli was probably just shocked at the forchecking Habs to notice. I'm actually more shocked the 5 Pens players standing around looking at the ref didn't just turn around and maul Darche...

Not long after Staal crashes the crease and Dupuis flings in the rebound. They looked at it but it was a good goal regardless.

I muted the game and put yakety sax on for a good five minutes and nearly died laughing. It was that kind of afternoon. Think of the weirdest things this side of Kronwall's skate blade coming off during play. It was that kind of weird. Players falling down, falling over each other, Gorges' stick getting stuck in between two glass planks, Fleury throwing a fit every time Ryan White did his job, etc... It started in warmup when Gomez took a puck off the back of the head and realized he was bleeding. My mom even called me from Ikea saying that she's making a leg of lamb and wants me to come over for dinner. Talk about random.

Zebras love watching the Habs too!

All hail we got a fourth line!
- Brrrrrrrrock Trotter makes his debut, gets 5 shots on goal (more than any player on the whole ice), draws 3 penalties, nearly scores but is stopped first by Jay McKee and then by a post, and gets an interview with Cassie Campbell. He's so pro!
- Desharnais proves someone can be shorter than Brian Gionta. Almost scores too.
- Ryan White gets attacked by Old Man Guerin for checking Malkin clean and legal. Didn't know Malkin's honor needed protecting. Either way, Guerin got owned by a kid 20 years younger than him.
- When a flying Gio scored and knocked himself out into the boards I thought "Great! Now we can't score without injuring ourselves!" You could see the stars rotating around his head.
- Gio kneeling on his second goal doesn't make him any shorter either.
- Just as Craig Simpson was chewing out Gomez for not getting any goals lately he scores on the powerplay.
- And when Markov was down on the ice after falling awkward and pulling his back, the entire crowd, bench, and coaches were silent with an "oh shit" look on their faces. You could hear a mouse fart from the basement. I saw our standings drop by 10. Then he rose like Jesus and the crowd rejoiced. The PA guy played Tragically Hip's "Courage".
- Jaro no likes breakaways. Seeing Malkin coming at him was like watching a squirrel starring at a car before it hits him.
- And the 2-on-1 was saved by old man Spacek of all people, otherwise Jaro's short legs no make the save.
- Outshooting the Pens by a 10:1 margin has something to do with things. Offensive hockey works, Jacques! You should try it more often!
- Disco Dan tried to take advantage of our Kids Line by slipping Crosby and Malkin over the boards. Never underestimate the Bulldogs, Dan. Probably too busy with the lucky burritos.
- When Darche Vader scores, Montreal is happy. Fleury is not.
- It's not every day we hear a Habs goalie makes 18 saves for a win.
- This team is just so much happier when Ryan White is on it. He's like a cherry-faced bundle of happy energy.

Bottom line is the Bulldogs kids are uncorrupted by Coach Martini.

Bruins lost again to the Canucks in a shootout even while launching 40+ shots at Luongo. Fucking annoying! I don't want them to end their streak tomorrow. Habs better win! If there are teams I can't stand losing to, the Bruins are top of that list.

Breaking news: Sergei demoted, Leafs still suck

Sergei has gone to Hamilton. Not surprised. Considering he was only medically cleared to play 2 games, did well enough, showed his usual grit and grind and then got yelled at by the coach when he went out of position in practice (hey it must have helped 'cause he was in perfect position for that goal in the 3rd game). He's in good hands, people! Guy Boucher and company will get him back into shape. Never mind Boucher's powerplay expertise will most likely work wonders on Sergei and his quarterback skills. Plus I think PK Subban will be better for him than any motivational speaker down on the Ranch. After all, Subban got the relatively shy Avtsin to talk on the ice, he can get anyone to talk.

Not to mention he's the only one other than Patches, Weber, and Maxwell who can move without worrying about waivers. (Pyatt too but his brains hit the glass thanks to Patrick Fucking Kaleta). And he knows about the waivers thing. He is fully aware of the situation. I expect him to lull a bit, get used to Boucher, then rip the AHL a new one, and come back all smiles.

In any case, it's up to him now whether he wants to waste his talent and do nothing with it, or smarten up and play like we all know he can. But frankly he wasn't the worst one on the ice in preseason.

It could also wake up his zombie brother...

Speaking of waivers, Leafsland want Toskala waived. Now. And to think it was only last year his nickname was "Vezina".

On a side note, Bulldogs beat the Marlies in the Gardiner Cup. Only Reimer, the Marlies goalie, made the bigger difference. But the Bulldogs only ceded ONE goal against in the entire tournament. And Brrrrrrrrock Trotter was a beast. Good work boys!