Free Agent (not so) Frenzy!

Yea this year's UFA list is absolutely dismal unless you want to blow your cap on Brad Richards. Since the Habs' are pretty complete at the top-6 position, they'll probably look for someone to glue in the bottom-6. Ain't much on that list either. I can tell you the way some of these teams are over paying everyone just to reach the cap floor, the NHL looks to be headed for another lockout. Obviously they've learned nothing!

Anyway, here are some possible cap-friendly (maybe) names Gauthier can wake up late too and still probably find available for an offer.

RW - Anthony Stewart (#22 6'3" 230lbs age 26)
As he stated on Twitter: Looking in the classifieds for a job.... Surprisingly there's no ads for someone to stand in front of a net #willworkforfood
Why?
- Scored a shitload of goals for the Chicago Wolves, and was always killer against the Bulldogs.
- Can tip the puck into the net for the Habs instead of against.
- Lasalle boy, for about the first year of his life.
- Probably needs to buy more things for his very large family (eldest of 7 kids).
- His minus-10 is a bit concerning, but it's still better than Gomez's +/-!

LW - Ville Leino (#22 6'1" 190lbs age 27)
If only for shootouts. Assuming the Habs will take a game to a shootout.
Why?
- Seems like a JMart type player.
- Should injuries happen in the top-6, he could technically fill in better than most of the bottom-6.
- Crafty.
- Almost cracked 20 goals (19)
- Only time his +/- sucked was when he was with the Red Wings. So LOL.

C - Max Talbot (#25 5'11" 190lbs age 27)
Not really all that keen on Max but he's a homeboy so why not. And if Toronto signs him he'll probably pray to God to send moths to eat his sweater.
Why?
- Also we need a new annoying guy named Max.
- Could help teach Gabby the ways of ice hockey assholism.
- JMart likes the penalty kill, so he'd fit in there.
- Tends to be invisible when his contract is too long so no more than 2 years please.

C - Mike Zigomanis (#26 6' 200lbs age 30)
Depth dude.
Why?
- WE NEED A FACEOFF SPECIALIST!!!
- And he's cheap. Like Jeff Halpern cheap.

Didn't list a goalie 'cause I would just sign Auld again. Hey he's a good guy, has a great mask, and can play the Rangers all he wants!

Just noticed that other than Zigomanis, everyone's number is available. Huzzah!

Meet the Rest of the Rounders!

The name of the day was DEFENCE!

Honestly after the first two rounds, I didn't really see anyone with major offensive upside other than Tomas Jurco but the Red Wings weren't trading their picks again and took him. It's OK I guess. I can deal with him going there. (And for not wanting Wiz's rights, I hope he goes back to Chicago. In your face, Dead Wings)!

So while more fans kicked and screamed for forwards--even for some who weren't on the scouting list and after a quick search found those players to be complete head cases--Habs invested in the second favourite currency of the NHL: depth defencemen. And by depth defencemen as a currency I DO NOT mean you can trade them for Stamkos or Crosby. I'm talking packages for other prospects or picks, sometimes a bottom-6 role player, to fill injury holes that pop up.

Hey could have been worse, Habs fans! We could have sat here waiting until pick 117 only to pick up a goalie from Norway. (Hi Washington!)

They did get some forwards though. I always like seeing the happy kid picked by his favourite NHL team, and that's what happened with former QMJHL 1st overall Olivier Archambault. He's this year's token small forward pick for the Habs. What sucks for him is he's playing for Val D'Or, who are pretty crap (Update! Apparently he was traded to Drummondville because of his attitude. Can't blame him. It's fucking Val D'Or!) He's all offense, SUPER shifty, wants to work on defense and strength. Here's a video of him scoring on the Juniors and him fighting my boy Sherbatov in midget wrestling.

The other guy is, according to my brother, a 6'3" beanpole version of Plekanec. And not just because he's also Czech. Hey, Markov was also a 6th round pick so don't chuck him to the curb just yet.

As for the depth defencemen, two will be going the College route which is always good to space out the contract needs. Swedish defenceman Magnus Nygren is actually 21 years old, played against men with first power play unit duties with Farjestad, and could make the transition over here quickly. Also his name is Magnus. Magnus is cool. Darren Dietz was a rookie with the Saskatoon Blades and was already thrown into the Top 4 on his team, working his way up to first power play unit duties and threw a few punches. Unfortunately he thinks an orange is a vegetable.

All in all, McGuire was crowing how the Habs need depth on D. Now that they went out and worked on that, he'll probably start crowing about forwards for a year. Fun times ahead on Planet Habs!

Meet the First Rounder!

Kiss it! Kiss it good!

Before you say "Token French Canadian" know this: Nathan Beaulieu doesn't speak a word of French (yet).

While most, including myself, figured the Canadiens would go with a scoring forward they did the smarter move and picked the best available player. And as Pierre McGuire was frothing over how the Habs need more defencemen, Habs went up and picked one so that'll shut him up for at least a year. Maybe.

Now I can only hope Gauthier could trade one of the many defencemen in the system (like Mathieu Carle or Wiz's rights) for a 2nd round pick and take Tomas Jurco. You can always use more Tomases!

Then again, Tomas Plekanec was a 3rd round pick...

Qualities:
5th ranked skater taken 17th.
Big.
Fast.
Solid.
Champion.
Likes and wants to be Drew Doughty (minus the rockstar status)
Likes and wants the puck.
Excellent first pass.
Comes out of the QMJHL to make someone happy.
Dad's a CHL coach.
Loves the media.
Isn't a forward.

On a scale of 1-to-5 Floating Creepy Pierre McGuire Heads (on my McGuire Drool Factor scale), I give him a 4.

Offseason: Reward

I spent my Monday at home, taking care of my eyes, and rolling them at the fools I witness at the clinic. In another part of town, Pierre Gauthier was locking down some forwards for us. Pacioretty and Desharnais are now with two-year-deals each, one cheaper than the other. Both are very cap friendly, and both should remain RFA once their deals are done. Who could ask for anything more? They were rewarded for their strong play, their heart, their grit, their skill, and more importantly their dedication to this game and determination to succeed for this team.

My eyes are also getting better too. Back to work tomorrow. Will Mr. Gauthier give us news of Jorge's new deal? Will he dish out the rest of the qualifying offers for the young RFAs? Or Markov?

I do know these two new deals and Brock Trotter's apparent return from Latvia has left me pretty excited. I'm sure a certain radio host who thinks he can influence the team from behind his microphone is banging his head against the wall as they should become "BIGGER MEANER GRR ARGH". Whatever.

Movie Night: The Green Lantern

If you're a nerd like me, you'll like this movie. If you're a stuck up hipster critic who spends 5 minutes to watch a film you're paid to review, then you probably won't like this movie.

Critics suck.

You have no idea how giddy I was for this film. However my giddiness was crushed when some idiot decided it was a good idea to release a trailer for the film with unfinished effects. Stupid stupid stupid stupid! All that did was start the hate train. If you're going to amp up the hype for your summer blockbuster of comic book lore that ISN'T FINISHED YET, release an audio trailer. Perception is everything, and with the narrative lore of the Green Lantern coupled with some deeps space scenery which then becomes the Oath while we come upon the Battery... THAT'S how you build some hype and bring in the comic book nerds like me!

In brightest day, in blackest night,
No evil shall escape my sight
Let those who worship evil's might,
Beware my power... Green Lantern's light!

Of course the film isn't perfect, and thank god they got Ryan Reynolds to play Hal Jordan or else the film would have really failed miserably. It's the little things that they tried to make work, but ended up just not. Probably the biggest of these little things was Sinestro and the Yellow Ring. If you don't know anything about the comic, or the character, or have never seen nor read anything Green Lantern you'll probably leave confused with why the hell he just went and did what he did. Do we trust they'll explain it in the sequel? Did they trust us to read between the lines even though those lines were extremely thin? Did you even get the feeling that Sinestro feels like a dictator? It's the biggest thing a writer has to be careful with when adapting something like a comic book to the big screen, especially one that's rather in the "obscure" spectrum like Green Lantern. (Yes, he's in the obscure side I'd say).

But hey, kick back and throw down some popcorn and just enjoy it. I didn't see it in 3D either. Oh and I think I was the only one who giggled when they called Carol "Star Sapphire". But as far as a live action Green Lantern film goes, I'm sold. I want more. Gimme. Now. It could be a kick ass space opera. Just put more Kilowog next time, please.

And the suit is cool so shut up about it. Also BIG GREEN FIST! WOO!

Or you could just go to stare at Ryan Reynolds' abs.

If you want something really good, probably the best Green Lantern film I've seen is "First Flight".

My mandatory Stanley Cup Final post

Fuck you, Bruins. Fuck you, Canucks. I hated you both and wished nothing more than your ultimate demise.

And Chara lifts the Cup after getting away with attempted murder. What a perfect representation of the NHL, kids!

Now we'll sit through a summer listening of how everyone should copy THIS model to win, just like how last year it was all "Chicago's model is how it works!" and previously it was Pittsburgh, Detroit... This year's model also requires the League in your pocket. Does Brendan Shanahan have a kid in the NHL yet?

Be prepared for year of seeing that shaved gorilla lift the Cup on HNIC's opening. Frankly now I really refuse to watch CBC for my hockey.


Flashback: It's apparently 1994 again. I had a bad feeling this would happen.


In other news, the logo I made for a colleague's hockey team was printed. I got my own as payment today. We used the Islanders' jersey because the Flyer's one was on major backorder.

Prince Charming

Everybody loves a battleship that can talk his way into anything.

The Stanley Cup finals are for...

10. Sleeping on the sofa.
9. Sleeping on the sofa with the dog.
8. Discovering other sections of the newspaper.
7. Going back and replaying the Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess and basically just standing in Hyrule field with the music going full blast while watching the clouds go by.
6. It's a pretty epic song so turn on your Wii and give it a try.
5. Not wanting to talk about it then rolling your eyes as your suddenly bizarrely interested in hockey father has something stupid to say about it.
4. Discovering your mother is no better.
3. Conversations with your brother are still pretty normal (Habs, hockey, video games, but mostly video games).
2. Cleaning the apartment and ironing a shitload of clothes.
1. Watching HGTV. A lot.

Bite me

I made the mistake today in turning on the radio once more.

I thought they'd have gotten over it by now, but judging from my Twitter retweets of various sources who just happen to follow various journalists from all teams, it seems the Boston media still haven't removed their heads from the salty sea dip and still reference the Habs for everything, completely forgetting it's the CANUCKS not the CANADIENS that they're playing here.

Then we have the callers. I can understand the Montreal Bruins fans calling and listening to a Montreal sports station, but what the hell are the guys in Boston doing emailing every moment? Though one caller from Montreal got me rolling my eyes so much I was going dizzy. This Bruins fan said through what sounded like 4 teeth and a pack of cigarettes while curled up on her lawn chair in front of her trailer that Habs fans can't stop talking about it 'cause we're all apparently jealous. Sadly Randy Tieman's brain isn't quick enough for the proper retort, so he just agreed with her. I would like to point out that no, it's not jealously. Don't mix jealous with absolute disdain for that piece of turd franchise you cheer for, lady. This same lady then casually called the Pacioretty incident a "little hit". Here's the definition of "disdain" just in case she skipped all of her schooling.

dis·dain /disˈdān/
Noun: The feeling that someone or something is unworthy of one's consideration or respect; contempt.

And we were all laughing at Lapierre offering his finger to Bergeron to snack on. Apparently humour is lost among most Bruins fans. They only know anger.

No mention of the Bobby Clarke special on Kevin Bieksa's leg from Rich Peverley, who only took a month to mold into a complete asshole as per club policy. Or Tyler Seguin squirting the Canucks with his water bottle. Or hey, remember who should have been suspended only to score the game winning goal in Game 7 of the last series? (Actually it was the only goal). Maybe they forgot about Nathan Horton since he's been absolutely invisible lately. (Which is business as usual). Come headshots and cheapshot and middle fingers! It's all class!

In case you're wondering WHY Montreal Habs fans are actually watching these games, paying attention to the series, and talking about things here in Montreal, it's simple! This is a hockey town. We bleed for our team, but this is a real hockey town. We'll watch it because it's hockey. And a couple of homeboys are playing for those who care. All we hope is that evil doesn't win...

My interest in this series is at "meh" level. It's between the self-entitled pricks (also known as the Boston Bruins) and the arrogant asshats (also known as the Vancouver Canucks). But heaven help us if the Bruins touch Lord Stanley. Their douchiness may melt that wonderful trophy.

The HMCS Hal Gill sets sail for another year!

This A is for Awesome.

That's right, my friends! Hal Gill is back! Coming in at basically his previous salary is nice for the veteran with a ring, especially when pretty much everyone on the team has claimed how invaluable the man is to their unit. However, I'm actually amazed to hear some fans have taken the time to call in to radio shows and bitch about this. Who cares if he only has two goals. HE'S A DEFENCEMAN. And the Habs are lucky to have gotten him long after he's passed his awkward figuring it out stages of development. He's well seasoned. Yea, like a big delicious steak.

Perhaps these people need some reminding on why Hal Gill is so precious, so invaluable to the Habs? Here's a top 10 to jolt your memory:

10. Someone has to score against Florida.
9. He can see for miles and miles and miles and miles...
8. Babysitting PK doesn't come cheap.
7. He's Batman.
6. Might be Green Lantern too. Actually I'm pretty sure of this one.
5. The penalty kill "Log" formation. No one else does it better.
4. He does Reggie Dunlop proud.
3. Who needs speed when you got long legs and an extra long stick?
2. Biggest feet in the NHL blocks a shitload of pucks.
1. Another year of Hal Gill videos? WIN!