And now, ladies and gentlemen, a tap dance: Habs 4, Blackhawks 1

I refuse to use any snarky "Blackhawk Down" pun!

So apparently The Bob said NO to the Barber Pole because it not only buzzed with the TVs but buzzed his players eyes. One player particularily buzzed by them was the Priceberg, who couldn't tell between a defenseman and a forward in them. The numbers are a bit hard to read, actually... And though I love the Barber Pole, the Habs instead came out in the CA ones. Unfortunately, retro sweater night was not complimented by awesome retro styled goalie pads tonight. Guess they're worn out already. (Apparently their lifespan isn't very long). NEVERTHELESS: Ohhhh what a win!

Hey, you look farmiliar...
- The CristoWall made his return to Montreal. Was it irony that he was the Habs netminder when Chicago rolled into town last season (defeated in overtime, I remember a very angry Lalime). And while there was concern about which Huet would appear, well, apparently the Crystal-Wall showed up.
- He was cheered, not booed! But he got jeered. Huet probably happy this is the only city capable of jeering his name with the correct pronounciation.
- The Hawks are a fast young team, they've got about 6 players in the high +/- range and many goals and points sco--GOAL. Kovy gets a weaksauce turnover and it's 1-0 with only 25 second knocked off the clock.
- Price was playing "follow the bouncy puck". Said he and Rollie were working on leg work and puck tracking. The results? A++++!
- So the Habs started the season with Andrei Kostitsyn getting his head smashed into the glass. And now we're ending the season with Sergei Kostitsyn getting his head smashed into the glass. Only this time they're on the same line so big brother immediately ran in there and went after the guy. Obviously like last time there was no boarding penalty, and Andrei gets a 5, 2, and 10. So mom and pop Kostitsyn came all this way to watch their baby get injured and their big boy sit in the box for half the game.
- Which was a shame because when he was finally out of the box, he was slowly showing the moves he picked up by Kovy as the game went on. Pity...
- Patrick Kane didn't get much time to play with old buddy Sergei, either. Have to wait for next year...
- Price knocked old buddy Jonathan Toews into best buddy Gorges, and got a make-up penalty though.
- I like Huet's new helmet.
- Gui! with the pop fly goal. He circled the net just in case he needed to hit it in again. I have no idea what the hell Lapierre was doing to him after he scored though. That was...weird.
- Markov is funny when he scores.
- Higgins feels the wind of a Schneider Play. Probably feels like when he was 10 watching Schneider win the Cup.
- I'm loving this edition of Coach Bob.
- Tanguay getting many break away chances but not getting anything. Koivu was explaining to him how to score on Huet while on the bench later.
- Not a good night for the refs... Two no calls on a Kovy trip, and a pretty bad slash on our Masterton Trophy nominee Breezer.
- Habs won 40 faceoffs to the Hawks 24! I'M IN SHOCK!!!
- Markov MVP, I love the way he can get back in time to neutralize a breakaway without taking a penalty.
- Hammer, not so much. And he got injured on top of that...
- PK was solid. Even had some shorthanded work. PP was 50%.
- The Hawks hadn't scored in 6 periods. Brutal schedule for them, they gotta dash home to play the suddenly hot for the playoffs Blues.
- Joel Quenneville was one unhappy man.
- I can never tell if Bob is happy or unhappy. I think I saw a smile and some twinkle in his eye during the Press Conference though!
- Win = Price throws his stick to the crowd.
- Apparently Sergei was noted as being OK after the game, laughing and talking Russian with other players. So apparently he got the english knocked out of him. But damn, those Kostitsyns are built tough eh?

Conclusion: I was pretty sick when I came home. I had no appetite, I was on the verge of vomitting... So I curled up on the sofa with a cup of tea and the game just cured whatever ailed me. Good thing too because I was too tired to make my miracle cure soup. Whatever. BIG SHINY WIN!

Also apparently tonights win permanently knocks the Sens and Leafs out of the playoffs. What?

Enemy at the gates!
- Actually the standings are bloody weird. Between 9th and 4th place, each team is separated by 1 fucking point.
- Why the win knocks the Sens out permanently is because they lost to the fucking Panthers, 5-2. Waka waka.
- Bruins beat the Bolts 3-1. Yawn... Though Chara tried to fight Artyuhin. And by "try" I mean smacked his helmet until the RT knocked Lurch over with the take down.
- DALLAS WINS! Against LA...
- Edmonton is sinking with an overworked Roloson. Beaten by the Ducks 5-3.
- The consolation prize for missing the playoffs isssssss... Playing in the World Series. Unless you're like Roloson and can't MOVE anymore.
- Only two Habs (well three, but I've no idea if you can count Andrew Loverock anymore) remain in the Memorial Cup drive. Olivier Fortier, who just signed a contract with the Habs, is pretty much set to play anyway considering Rimouski is hosting it (and boy are they stacked and ready). PK Subban's Bulls ran into a hot Loverock who seems to be outplaying them hard... Looks like they might have to take their series all the way.
- The Leafs signed Christian Hanson of the Fighting Irish to an entry level contract. Yes, he's the son of a Hanson brother. Leave it to Brian Burke to sign a Hanson. The real question is, did he bring his fucking toys with him?

Calling Line 2, do you read me? Game 76 - Blackhawks

Last time I was in Chicago it was more of a drive by while in search of a place to eat. I was partially disturbed by the fact that no one was out playing in the suburban parks on a nice, Sunday summer afternoon. But it was in this city (well, outside the city to be exact) that I received the craziest words of wisdom by eavesdropping on what looked like a displaced Texan dealing business in a truck stop eatery...

"If you don't walk in my boots, don't tell me my feet stink." Unreal.

The Blackhawks have finally turned a corner this season, and it's nice to see considering how pathetic and sad this Original 6 team has been for so long. The jury is still out, though, considering how horrible the team has been in the playoffs throughout history (assuming they made the playoffs, though they've no problem this season)... Tomorrow, however, the scale is tipped in your favour my Habs. The Canucks just shut them out 4-0, and their young team is inconsistent at best, particularily on defense. If you attack them hard like you did the Slugs, your chances of winning will be high. (I say this because I saw the Canucks own them in a similar manner). There are still a few you've gotta watch besides the smooth skating Campbell. Price's old friend Jonathan Toews and Sergei's old buddy Patrick Kane can be the dynamic dynamo. And then there's the rookie they call Versteeg. Some say he holds the power of a thousand brilliant suns. Others say he was born with skates genetically grafted onto his feet. The rest say he eats the hockey cards of past greats and absorbs their greatness through osmosis. All we know is he's called Versteeg.

Barber Pole Night.

There is no curse on the Barber Pole, Chuck Norris countered any hex on it with a roundhouse kick.

The Bob has called out the 2nd line though we could let it slide a tad considering one was ill, one reverted to zombism, and the other was left alone to his own devices, while the stand-in for the ill was playing like he was ill. On the other hand, time's running out! Leadership comes from the Center, and it's time to tighten your turtle neck, Pleky, and take those brothers under your wings. Think back to preseason when you were practically captain of the Second Squad that went on tour of the East coast. Where's the toe drag and score? Where the set up while you and Sergei patrolled the blue line to watch the (other) children? Where's the Coast to Coast with Andrei Kostitsyn? (You did it only ONCE this year and I'm sad for that). Bob's got you taking the 2nd unit powerplay and we need you in case the ATK line is neutralized. We need SuperPleky! We need the BelaRocket! We need Sergei Ass Kicker! C'mon boys, join the party!

Markov: MVP-Man. Another 30 minutes?
We need the rest of you D-guys to be like Mike and follow Markov. We also need a Lead-Protection Man. Who's it gonna be?

Young Lord Price vs Mentor Huet. But which Huet will walk in tomorrow, I can't say. He hasn't played in weeks... In any case, Price will call upon the power of the Caribou and show those Blackhawks who's the Chief. Make the Ulkatcho proud!

Disappointment thy name is shootout - Habs 3 Sabres 4 (SO)

It's a bum way to end a good game but yet again the Habs turn complacent and passive in the 3rd period and it bites them in the arse. Still Carey Price guaranteed them a point in games they deserved and in games they didn't before his first injury, and since that 2-0 loss in Atlanta (where he only allowed 1) they haven't lost in regulation with him in nets.

Lady luck stayed home?
- First period, Habs were everywhere. They hit anything that moved and shot the puck with fire. And Miller couldn't handle many of the weird bounces, but luck left it's clover at the door and nothing bounced in. Of course, a sneaky tip-in on the end of a lame penalty powerplay gave the Sabres a 1-0 lead...
- As with most goals against for Price, if they're not absolute flukes, it's him staring at 4 red sweaters blocking his view, like the second one after a fanned clear attempt right in the slot. C'mon guys, get to it!
- With his lunchpail and hard hat, Master Higgins wakes them up with an awesome goal. I love the Ninja Line.
- Revenge thy name is Koivu-Kovalev-Tanguay. Capitalizing on the powerplay and the puck bounced off Kovy each time. A sneaky tip-in of his own was just gravy.
- Sergei did some lovely plays tonight, covering for defensive errors, missed a check but managed to get just a piece of the guy to create a turnover, some great aggressive forechecking especially in the 3rd, and came flying in on the left-wing but again no one was following. Poor guy. Hopefully once his brother is healthy, they can have some finish on that line. Still, I love his intensity and really missed it when he was away in Hamilton.
- I love the way Kovy skates like a shark out hunting when he's forechecking. Though I think he could have neutralized that player who passed the puck which lead to the 3rd Sabres sneaky tip in goal after the team couldn't exit the zone again.
- Huuuuuuuge stops by Price, including the Save of the Game with a Sabres player sitting on him.
- I guess the adrenaline got to Fruit Punch's brain because he usually doesn't hit people like that boarding penalty. Though, it's Kaleta so I don't know if you can maybe call it justice? I've seen players get suspended for less, I've seen players not get suspended for worse. But Kaleta didn't get injured either, so...
- Markov is the team MVP.
- Hammer was absolutely out of it tonight.
- Breezer goes back in the trunk...and the car goes off somewhere, I don't care where...
- Dagger didn't have a good game tonight, but gotta give Bob credit. He gave him his chances.
- I order you all to work on faceoffs.
- That said, the refs were being morons on the faceoffs. Drop the fucking puck and shut up please? What the hell were they doing?
- Benoit Brunet: stfu.
- Dandy is totally justifying his contract and totally showing why he's a good asset. Also shows why he's a better forward than defenseman, though I'd rather have him on D than Breezer. If Bob does that, he could always shove Stewie on the Ninja Line.
- Overtime was yakety-sax hockey.
- The shootout was rather lame on the part of the Habs shooters. And with Price being outstanding and Miller being lucky and wonky, they just couldn't get the puck off the ice. The sweet spot on Miller in a shootout is usually over the right shoulder. Pleky got it, but hit the post. Story of our lives eh? But with March being playoff hockey time, maybe the league should just ban shootouts in the final stretch...
- The whole team waited for Price to come to the bench when the shootout was over. Kovy gave him a big pat on the head.
- One thing I also noticed was Bob waits for his team to go first before leaving the rink. Even after those losses.
- Bob knows about the importance of playing a complete 20 minutes in the third. He's addressed this in his Press Conference. Once the Bob addresses something it gets fixed, that's for sure.

Conclusion: perhaps the 1 point gained tonight will serve as a reminder for how terribly important it is to play a solid 3rd period. Lead protection is the key to a playoff series, and any passive complacency leads to the death of a season. Still, I'm confident the guys can make it. This game was intense, the refs were morons, and it was probably the best Saturday night game the guy's have had since the beginning of the season.

Bulldogs and others to report!
- Despite a 2-1 OT loss to the top Manitoba Moose, the Dogs have clinched a playoff spot. They play the Moose again today.
- The Montreal Juniors (STUPID NAME) completely owned the Rouyn-Noranda Huskies 7-0 in a pivotal game 5 for their first playoff series. (And this is all without Angelo Esposito who injured his knee and was done for the season). The Juniors have a chance to put it all away at 4pm today. Oh...and I like that Jeremy Gouchie kid.

Eastern clusterfuck:
- Marty, Marty, Marty! You failed me! Panthers put the smack down on the Stars 6-3. I is so very sad...
- Tough night for goalies named "Marty" as Carolina toys with the Devils 2-1. Been a while since Brodeur faced 48 shots eh?
- Pens takes the Rags 4-3 after trading goals all night. Stundqvist.
- Boston had an easy night with the Leafs despite Manny Fernandez being crap. Though you can say Pogge was crappier. And this was the guy who once upon a time was AHEAD of Price, folks. A 7-5 score though, I know Boston was looking for their swagger back but those goals against should bother them.
- Islanders were having a 2-0 deja vu but then lost to Philly in a shootout. Semi-tough night for that Marty. I gotta ask though, why did the Islanders send out Streit as the 3rd shooter...?
- The Sens really feeling that no-playoffs blues now that Atlanta drop kicked them 6-3. Hedberg is in nets again so I guess Lehtonen did get injured (again) in New York. Goalie made of string and glass...
- I'm currently trapped in bed with a migraine. I hate my life and my brain.

Make your cake, eat it - Game 75 Buffaslugs

If you ever find yourself driving around southern Alberta, go pay a visit to the Head-Smashed-In-Buffalo-Jump site. It's really quite the fascinating place. But that's another buffalo. THIS is the Buffalo you need to watch. THIS is the Buffalo currently beating the Leafs 4-1 though not much of a measuring stick since Cujo and Pogge are taking net duty because Gerber got himself suspended for being angry at referee Leggo. Well Cujo just got pulled for Pogge. Whatever! And Ryan Miller is back. I would think a bit too soon considering he was felled by a high-ankle sprain but I guess it wasn't a serious one. So what do you do, Habs? Why you get your hard hat and your work pail and grab a beer. Prepare to get dirty 'cause YoMamaWeen's in town.

There are no Buffaloes because Chuck Norris got them all.

The Bob has all faith in you, boys. So much faith that he isn't changing the lineup. And with AK46 downed by the flu, Dagger stays in his spot. The ATK Line (Alexei-Tanguay-Koivu) is still pretty hot, General Markov IS NOT being traded for Lecavalier (how can you even suggest that, Pierre Houde?!), and the Ninja Line is ready for shadow duty (Higgy-Dandy-Metro) which is probably a good idea considering how if you give the Slugs an inch they'll skate the whole mile. That said the rest of you Dmen better wise up. You had practice in the Bolts game and did a lovely job until you went braindead for 5 minutes and allowed them back in the game. But now you gotta bring it like never before because the Buffaslugs want your playoff spot. Will you let them take it? No wai~! Stay sharp, chug the gatorade, get your haterade, and get yourself a nice shiny W!

Longest Farking 60 Minutes Ever: Habs 3, Dolts 2 (OT)

I feel like this game started 3 months ago. Seriously, everyone else in the NHL were finished with their games when we were barely exiting the 2nd period! There were at least 50 faceoffs, the Lightning moved at a snails pace for 40 minutes, apply that to an incredibly high amount of stupid penalties caused mostly by a guy who really can't skate (sorry about your Dad and all, Petiot, nice article this morning in the paper on you, but get some skating lessons), Ramo freezing the puck every 5 seconds because it was either shot right at him or tipped right at him from his own guys (I think his own teammates were the more dangerous for him tonight), and yea... Sucks Price didn't get his shutout KOMISAURUS thanks to people interferring with him but whatever. If the Bolts can score while the Habs screw Price over then the Habs can score with the Bolts screwing Ramo over.

Bottom line is there were TWO points given to the good guys
- Today's flu victim was Andrei Kostitsyn. Maybe that's why he was half asleep for a few games.
- I only tuned in to the game when I got home. Like, I closed my car just as they announced "and Dandenault is spun around" (penalty). I get inside and Kovy scores. Woo 20 goals!
- For the longest time shots were 24-8...FOR THE CANADIENS! *shock* I think Price had to pinch himself to make sure the shot clock was right.
- The Bolts were playing so slowly it was annoying the Habs and their timing, who were flying or maybe it just seemed like that because the Bolts were so slow...
- Good team effort for the whole game until the ref didn't call a blatant penalty (guess he was tired of calling them) and the Habs gave the Bolts the benefit of the doubt and allowed them to run around their end for a bit. Hint: they scored twice while doing that, both goals thanks to a Hab being a dolt. (Komo in the crease while Price was stuck between a bunch of his guys and Schneider deflecting the puck in) You could see the angry cloud forming over Price's head.
- Artyukhin was his usual self but the Habs didn't like him knocking Price around. He tried starting things with Gui! who was busy playing hockey. Then the Russian Truck tries to hit Komisaurus, who steps aside and BOOM the RT hurts himself. Sorry but I must lol at that one...
- Habs were on their best behavior tonight, but didn't think twice about crowding someone doing nefarious deeds.
- Markov was on the ice for nearly 30 minutes.
- Gui!Gui!Gui! with the wrap around. He made a whole end of the rink look silly.
- He also gave RT a lovely open-ice hit.
- RDS needs to stop wetting themselves over Vince... Bouchard says TB should trade him and get a whole bunch of players. There was a poll asking if people think he'll really come here next season (not on that contract, and thankfully a higher percentage of people had that same thought on their minds to vote NO). Honestly, why would they trade him for more players? He is their team. They'd end up in a worse hole, like we did when we traded Roy...
- I'd rather have St.Louis anyway even if he appears to attract things with his face.
- Besides the 2nd powerplay that Kovy scored on, the rest were passer plays and then a hit off the post or what felt like 50 Bolts players on the ice getting in the way.
- Must be annoying for Dagger, Sergei, and Higgy. All ready to score and then a stick gets shoved up your ass. Either way, good moves had by all.
- I love the way Metro steams over the blueline.
- Mon Capitaiiiiiiiiine! If Kovy isn't clutch, we can always count on Koivu.
- Lapierre was hilarious in the victory pileup, happily shaking Kovy.

Conclusion: Good long 60 minutes and two lovely points dans la banque. A loss would have been devastating and you guys almost screwed it up after playing so perfectly for so long. Maybe it was a bit too perfect, but either way it was great. Habs tend to have problems winning games on rainy days so it's nice to beat the norm for a change.

Bulldogs Report!
Ben Maxwell was named the team's winner of the American Specialty/AHL Man of the Year award for all the work he's done in the Hamilton community, particularily with the school programs and stressing education and pursuing your goals. He's now one of the 29 finalists for the AHL's 2008-2009 Yanick Dupre Memorial Award. Congrats Ben!

Keeping up with the Joneses:
- Rags lost...in a shootout! To Atlanta! After blowing a 4-1 Lead! End of the fucking world!!! Well Valiquette was also in nets tonight, and Atlanta switched goalies though I've no idea who replaced who. Todd White was the only one who scored in the shootout. Rags +1pt
- Anderson stopped staring at ice girls and decided to stop pucks for once though I'm not happy that the Panthers won 4-2. On one hand it halted the Flyers a bit, but now Panthers +2pts (Good thing Habs won)
- *double-take* What?! Blues pulled a win jacket over the Canucks' eyes? It was 1-0 last I saw and now it's a 4-2 win. Proof that powerplays can help.
- Yet another weird regulation win for the Preds over the big scary Sharks. Three unanswered goals in the second period and then shut down city.
- Calgary is blanked again...badly. Worse than the Pens because it's a team from their side of the League. Then again, it's Steve Mason. Instead of 4 goals, Rick Nash woah had 4 assists. But I did watch a bit of the Pens blanking them yesterday and other than MAF being very lucky a few squeaked by him and didn't go in, the Flames were quite lame.
- Stars and Kings are 0-0 after 60+ minutes. Shootout city and the Kings win it. That's gotta suck. Stars +1pt
- I just paid my welcome tax... It wasn't very welcoming. -1000pts

Top-Heavy Bug is going DOWN! Game 74 - Bolts

Ok boys. You pulled off a convincing win despite the lumpsided numbers on paper (never mind that) and played your heart out. You terrorized the other team with your powerplay and owned them for every error they made. You made Kari Lehtonen poop his shorts by hitting the crossbar when you didn't hit the net. Well next up is a similar team. They're 14th in the conference, 29th in the league. In fact the Thrashers are BETTER than them! They've got the whole buffet of first overalls in their lineup and appear to be collecting more of them until they're a team of natural born superstars I guess. Their number 1 goalie is concussed somehow (guess he did get hit too many times in the head with the puck while with Dallas) and their backup veteran is done for life. Their new number 1 goalie has his brains on his mask and I've no idea who his backup is. Either way they're not that good... Their franchise center is who everyone hopes is the next Gros Bill though frankly I find that insulting. This is the same guy your home crowd cheered for the loudest at the ASG and he replied with a weak wave and did nothing in the game. Will you go out there despite knowing all this and take an L in the scoresheet? I sure hope not.

Know your enemy. Their mascot is a top-heavy bug who spends his off days terrorizing beach goers. Top-heavy, just like the team's overloaded contracts.

Youppi (or Chuck) can take the bug thing, but YOU will take the win! And it's crucial you do because those dastardly Panthers, despite having the best radio play-by-play guy who's got movie-reference tourettes (oh yea, he got beat up by Lyle Odelein once), are NIPPING at your heels! Even if they appear to be in pure meltdown mode, there's also Buffalo who may or may not be able to do something.

Tuesday you showed us that we have an actual number 1 line: two Alexes and a Saku. Tuesday when Kovy scored and gave Saku a bear hug, I think I heard the sound of a zillion franco-media brains exploding. Was that team-love?! EGADS! Hey guys, did you know Koivu and Kovy's locker are right next to each other? *Listens for more explosions* And the glue between them was Man of Glass Tanguay who missed a big chunk of his life this year because of the team coming into your home.

Tuesday we also saw the return of Komisaurus. We saw a bunch of players with clearly defined roles from scoring, energy, and defense. We saw a win that didn't depend on your goalie standing on his head. Can you keep it going? Sure you can! Why? Because I say so. One win is lovely but a streak is even better. And I don't want to reference anything SAW related, ok?

Go. Play. Have fun.

Night of the Alexes! Habs 6 T(h)rashers 3

It's been so long since we've had the free wings...

THIS is how you're supposed to play messy disorganized teams who haven't a care in the world. Yes, you're supposed to crush them with 3 powerplay goals in a row and make them pay for every sloppy penalty they take. Yes, you're supposed to throw pucks at a shakey goalie who's very breath is inconsistent. Yes, you're still supposed to watch Kovalchuk because he alone can burn you...Breezer. Oh well, it was the way it was supposed to go!

And if you have the puck, you score!
- Shots were finally kept at 25 against. Price goes YAY!
- Tanguay making up for lost time, two goals three assists. Imagine if Artyukhin hadn't squashed his shoulder how many points he would have had?
- Kovy!Kovy!Kovy!
- Ooooh Carey flashing the glove and throwing the mustard. Kovalchuk shots are not easy to catch, as seen on that second goal that had elbow grease on it. He's a rifle with a stick. But when Breezerpalooza strikes on an open Kovalchuk two feet from the net, or Komisaurus gets burned by the after burners of the speedy other Kovy, ZINGA! The babushka holds the borsch, right Sergei Puckzhin?
- Still old friends, Komisaurus tapped Hainsey at the blueline after the first period siren.
- Speaking of Komisaurs: BEST GAME OF THE YEAR FOR No.8! Though you might not want to tackle a guy hitting your goalie by throwing him ON your goalie, ok dear? Cupcakes for Komisaurus!
- Putting Higgins on a shutdown line was the best move anyone could have done for the guy.
- Metroooooo! Craziest goal of the year. Just flipped it point blank right over Lehtonen. What a mind game.
- They were rolling off numbers on the news afterwards and mentioned Metro's terrible faceoff percentage for tonight. But what the numbers didn't say was what was done after a lost faceoff, which was nice to see the guys go after the puck instead of run away. Like what Higgins did when he had to take a faceoff: he forgot the faceoff and ran over the guy to the puck in a non-interference way. The turnover numbers are a concern though... But I did see other players trying to make up and cover for the turnover, which was also not in the numbers.
- Dandy is better as a forward. He always beats those icing calls.
- Koivu's goal was pretty funny. Been a while since we saw one of our guys all alone with the entire net and goalie to himself and NOT miss.
- No one can tell if Gainey is happy or satisfied or something else. Would NOT want to play poker with that man...
- The refs were seriously against us with a few borderline weaksauce penalties. And I'm talking about Koivu's...
- Gorges blocking the shot and playing the rest of his shift in pain. Even the Thrashers' player noticed as they attempted to battle by the front of the net. Three cheers for Gorges as he hobbled to get the loose puck and help clear it and then hobbled to the bench.
- The brothers were trying to find each other all night. Well, more like Andrei trying to keep up with Sergei. Though I gotta say Andrei pulled the coolest move I've seen him do since that first Flyers game. With the Thrashers in our zone, he tosses the man over and takes the puck and then practically goes all the way around the rink with it. Would have been awesome if he had scored from that, but wow. Do that more please?
- Word to the wise, never knee Kovy. Angry Kovy alert! With the delayed penalty he just blasted the puck towards the goal and pinged the crossbar. Then on the powerplay he let it rip and I do believe Lehtonen felt it through all that gear. (Crotch shot).
- Nice to see the boys happy. Pileup in the crease!

Conclusion: Keep it going, boys! Everyone says it's only the Thrashers blah blah blah but these horribly low in the standings teams are beating everyone these days so take the win and the effort that came with it and put Breezer back in the trunk please.

Bulldogs report!
Well still no news whether or not Triston Grant will be suspended for that disgusting act he pulled on Ben Maxwell. To recap, the Bulldogs were down 3-2 after some weakass penalty call again and one of the Admirals players hit Weber after a whistle so Maxwell took offense to it and stood up for Weber. This player then grabbed off Maxwell's helmet and whacked him across the face with it, cutting him! This should have been a big powerplay for the Bulldogs, but instead they only give Grant 5 for fighting and nothing more. Naturally Ron Wilson went ballistic and was almost on the ice, because Maxwell also got a 5 and was now in the room getting stitches. So they give the Dogs an extra two for yelling at the ref. They did toss Grant as there was 5 minutes left anyway but they should have had the extra penalty for the gross misconduct he pulled. So instead of trying to get back the game on a powerplay, they had to defend. Chipper tried scoring shorthanded and Henry spent the rest of the time itching to punch someone. Dogs lost that game in the end and boy would I have loved to have been a fly on the wall in that hallway the Dogs and the ref had to share after the game...

But on to a happier note, Maxwell got a hat trick tonight! And newly sent down Pacioretty nabbed a goal and two assists! They beat down the bCoyotes (hey Garth Murray is there!) 6-1. Dogs gotta fix their shots against though... Denis faced 42 compared to their 28! (Though there were lots of penalties so I'm not surprised). Henry got to punch things twice tonight.

Among other things:
- Just as someone mentioned Osgood turning a page in the book of suck, he goes back to sucking... Red Wings lose 5-3 to Calgary yesterday. Conkblock's in nets now and they come from behind to beat the Oilers 3-2.
- Little Koivu is hurt! And the Wild lose 2-1 to the Rags...
- Stop winning Toronto, please...
- I facepalm at my poor Dallas... Begin appears to have been hurt?
- I finally got myself a Habs tuque. It's not the pompom one I was diligently seeking, but a nice red one that super comfy. I loves it! And it matches my red-and-white snowboarding suit so all the better.

Desperate times call for desperate measures! Game 73 - T(h)rashers

I haven't done game intro posts since the start of the season, and had planned to do one every time the team met another for the first time, but that fell victim to the "I'm too busy to post before I dash out to work you stupid NHL schedule". Now that the Habs have a rather normalized schedule, it's crunch time.

No more bus to be tossed under. Chuck Norris killed it.
There are 10 games left, boys.
DO IT.

Sergei Kostitsyn is back. And 'cause Bob's your uncle and a genius, he puts him with brother Andrei and Pleky. THANK YOU BOB! The "rafters" on the comment page at Habs I/O call him a lazy boy with no heart. I'll have you know he was one of the boys in tears on the bench when they got bounced in the playoffs last season. He stares at the play through a steely glare that equals Gary Roberts'. He smashes his stick on the bench when he misses an opportunity and then looks around wondering if anyone heard. I saw him battle a bigger player than himself in the neutral zone to get the puck over to a flying Chipchura for an empty netter they didn't really need since they were already up 4-2. Yea he's still a boy and he may miss some passes, but he's got more in him than the annoyingly angry masses give him credit for. And do I love his patented hip checks or what?

Those same angry masses say the season is over. It might be, but I don't care. Go watch something else. Go pray for Lecavalier and then cry when he does nothing on his massively overloaded contract so we can be like those one-player teams and continue crying when the pack of players sent the other way are absolutely brilliant. Unless they don't send a pack of players that matter the other way, and renegotiate his psychotic contract, then he can come and play all he wants. (I went to school with the guy, by the way. Whenever someone mentioned him maybe playing for the Habs he looked like he wanted to go hide in the hills). If you like Vince so much go cheer for the Bolts. There's only one team that counts. This is MY team now, and I never surrender.

Kovalchuk is good. We want him here too but that'll never happen. Though I'll trade you Higgins, Bouillon (sorry) and Mathieu Carle (because he asked, must be post-concussion syndrome) for Kovalchuk and Esposito nudge wink.

The Bell Centre jumbotron kept listing them as Trashers.

This game is huge. That said, fuck the fans with no class who boo guys during their video and then wonder why they're too depressed to play. A week ago they were naming their children after them. Tomorrow you play a team that you better beat. Tomorrow you play for ME. And I have a picture ready if you lose. I also have one ready if you win.

Woo~!

Angry Bob and Poop: Lapierre 2, Leafs 5

As Four Habs Fans would say, "Jaro mek big poop in net". (Though I'd say the whole team took a rather big poop tonight, but a few of those early goals were pretty weak. That puck had eyes). Oh well, Fruit Punch gets two goals!

Don Cherry was wearing his Habs tie today. Don Cherry is supporting the Habs and wants them to make the playoffs. Also hockey season is now starting in Hell as well. Cost of a ticket will be your soul, though.

In other news:
- Cam Ward must be stopped!
- A little late flurry help from the Blue Jackets with a 3-1 win over the Panthers. Raffi Torres with an awesome name and two goals and Vermette with the empty netter.
- Rags knock down the Sabres. Tellqvist replaces Lalime and saves all 11 shots he faces but they still lose.
- Kovalchuk is back. Atlanta takes the Bolts down in a shootout. Both these guys are here this week...
- Sharks play with the Stars, 5-2. I is sad.

The Bob and...oh fuck it: Habs 4, Sens 5

If the players out there look like they don't care anymore then I don't care anymore. Actually I never really took it seriously enough to really care too much about it, since in the end it's just a game that I watch. But it bothers me to see them play like this. What other team takes 30 minutes to warm up and leaves their end so defenseless or poorly defended that it's 3-1 by the end of the first period? They go around with no speed or urgency, they allow players to walk right in through the backdoor (might not want to allow Spezza or Heatley or Alfie that much space but I could swear you knew that already), they don't challenge anyone in the defensive zone, they're inconsistent, and they've been playing up and down like this since that crazy Captials game at the Bell Center (with the exception of the Pens game at the Bell Center, which was the last game I saw them play as a team). One goalie, one defenseman, and one trio DO NOT MAKE A TEAM PEOPLEZ. And god forbid if Price or Halak have a fuzzy night, 'cause apparently it's all over if they do. (Regardless of who has the flu now). What happened to the team that would win games when Halak let in 3/4/5 in his second takeover from an injured Price? I dunno if they noticed either but they're on the verge of toppling headfirst to like 10th place or something. Clouston says the Sens are a playoff team. I'm not sure if mathematically they can make it unless teams like our Habs keep playing like brainless zombies. Actually, zombies appear to have more urgency. They seem to be viciously and seriously attacking my brother right now in Resident Evil 5. But I digress. Oh and Benoit Brunet, when you know something about goaltending or defense or teams playing in cohesion, then you may open your mouth. Until then, please shut the fuck up.

Bob may want to stop cancelling the morning skate. These droogs apparently need it.

Also, anyone else noticed how depressed Price sounds in the press? For over a week now?

Carbo's press conference: First I'd like to say that François Gagnon, Jacques Demers, and a few others are taking the wrong approach in this matter in that they're delving way to personally on the issue. Though Gagnon seems content with trying to dig out the weed in the room and would love to pin the tail on the Kovy or Koivu. But you guys are doing the same thing as what happened with Ribero (an overrated player who was protected by the media and only realized the shit he was in when he didn't have that protection in Dallas). Next, I'm sorry Carbo but as one of your loyal supporters I have to tell it like it is. If he cannot understand why he was fired, then he cannot look past his nose. I gave him the benefit of the doubt that the players were just making wrong decisions and the coaches would fix these problems. But then the errors continued. The SAME errors every time. And it accumulated until Gainey himself saw his team running around absolutely lost and a coach unable to explain why. Of course we know Gainey took care of one issue (Kovy with a mysterious illness that's been bothering him and an inspirational chat), which brought me to the conclusion that Gainey was giving Carbo the chance to fix the others. That never happened. Finally Gainey terminated his venture and took over the team to try and fix these errors (however I feel it's far too late as their habits are so ingrained they're almost natural, except I noticed they don't ice the puck as much anymore). Where "ugly" victories were brushed off as victories and their problems ignored again, more bad habits formed from those. How many times did we see games lost because the bounces didn't go our way? Apparently the system was based on pure chance. This is where you failed and lost your job, Carbo. We saw inklings of this in the playoffs last season, but just brushed it aside as a young team with frazzled veterans. But the same problems of inactivity were still occuring. As a coach, simply changing the lines aren't a solution to a system problem. As a coach, it is the coaches responsibility to cover this. Lack of communication is a key to this problem. However, communicating with your players is not the same as communicating with the media. I know the door was opened but if the players themselves just think they won despite the errors then it's ok, this does not help things and they won't go seeking the coach on the issues. A good coach would be proactive in communication with his players to address the issues. And I don't know about these team meetings we constantly hear from because they seemed to have worked only once... Bowling and bag skating don't fix problems that players don't understand themselves, and as a coach and ex-player, that is a job like a mentor. It's not about "losing the room" or dealing with the different personalities, it's about the play. And in the end, I've come to the conclusion that I don't think he was a good coach. It's unfortunate, but I think Carbo should go and maybe coach the Q team he owns like Patrick Roy and gain experience through the ranks.

(On a side note) Roy, at least, despite being a goalie all his life, went out and learned every aspect of this game from defense to powerplays to get his team competitive. Carbo, however, relies solely on players who show the same heart he had as a player. While heart is important, the rest is missing. His only good trait though was being a shrewed tactician.

In other news:
I spent over an hour stuck in a dark Metro car as the power was out on the Orange Line while some lady was singing like a dead cat in a part of the station. I do believe that might have been the train to hell.

Oh and the Quebec budget is shit, the PQ is probably going to take power next time because lord knows they can do worse so of course the people will vote for them, couple that with maybe Ignatieff getting the job in Ottawa...and I'd like to move to another planet, please. Unless William Shatner really does run for Prime Minister.

The Bob and A Shitty D: Habs 3, Rags 4 (SO)

Leave your torches at the door and give Price a green beer. Before you attempt to jump on the kid for the loss, look at the shots clock: 42-29 RAGS. Apparently the meaning of life is 42, right? Third period 16-5 Rags. Outplayed and outgunned, and the Rags had the better chances. Technically Lundqvist didn't stop anything in the shootout either. (AK46 missed wide, as usual. Someone stop letting him on shootouts please). Had the Priceberg not been solid all game, I don't even want to speculate the score...

It's called "shit happens", story of our lives:
- 1 point courtesy of your goalie.
- Defense, you're doing it wrong...
- I actually feel the defense is more like a spectator sport. They were ok in the first and half of the second but then went to shit the rest of the time. Yet again they have their quadrants and refuse to enter the other quadrant if the puck is loose there before the other team gets it and no one on their team is there.
- Hesitation = death. I don't know how many times Gainey has to tell it to these guys. Komo holding the puck for longer than he should = more problems for Price.
- Best of Komisaurus tonight was destroying the camera in the penalty box. But even that he didn't break in the end. C'mon DOOM! DESTROY!
- Pretty much also lucky that Lundqvist is usually terrible against the Habs.
- Kovy eats the Rags for dinner. Scored while falling on his ass again. Roof of Daddy in the shootout. Had to play DEFENSE for a Breezer error.
- Yes Breezer is back to his two wrongs with every right.
- Oh the children! Patches and Dagger's best game yet. Caused all sorts of problems for the Rags.
- Apparently there's a 5 penalty quota now? The Rags aren't afraid of penalties because they're the best PK unit or whatever.
- Fruit Punch! He's got the touch! What a move.
- Koivu, win some faceoffs please?
- If we could clone Markov... defense might be better. And his face on his goal was of "Eh? I scored?". See the benefits of just throwing a puck at Lundqvist?
- Gui! is back, a beast on the boards.
- Rags are brimming with confidence. Habs are their polar opposites. Yet both teams are fairly equal...
- People ragging on Price for dropping too quick? Gimme a break. Look at Lundqvist... Saying Price can't make the key saves? HELLO? Did you even WATCH overtime when Breezer knocked Kovy out of the play right when he had a good scoring chance and Price had to make 2 huge saves? Is it because he doesn't fall all over himself like Tim Thomas? Price is huge. His size makes it look like he's not moving a lot when in fact he is.
- Well well well, Markov pulled a different move from his usual for the shootout. But Lundqvist's 5-hole was pretty open then, so I'm pretty sure his usual would have worked too...
- Price at the end was not pleased at all. I give hugs.

Conclusion: Can't fault him, he did his job. The rest? Offensively was OK, but not consistently. Rags completely outplayed the Habs tonight. Lang, get a new leg and get your butt out there please? Habs need one huge four leaf clover. Oh and Carbo is supposed to talk to the public tomorrow at 2pm. Live on CJAD. Wee...

Bulldogs report! Tonight they faced the Iowa Chops. Yea the bDucks are Pigs. The Pork Chops opened the scoring with two goals and then it was all Bulldogs. Flinn of all people opened the scoring. Then Glumac, who is now one shy of 30 goals. Then Aubin on the powerplay. Then little Desharnais on another powerplay. And Chipper with the empty netter. (Chipchura has 14 goals and most of them are empty netters). Both Brock Trotter and Sergei picked up 2 assists (Desharnais also got an assist). Chipchura also got into a scrap with someone.

Another day another milestone...
- And Brodeur rides those Devils happily for his 552nd win, making him the benchmarker.
- Apparently people suddenly realized Ovechkin is inconsistent and apparently people only now realized what his +/- rating is? I've seen him give up on backchecking way more than a slow player out-skating Breezer. The Caps were kind enough to shutout the Panthers, but Ovie is still looking for goal #50, and picked up an assist for an empty netter. But wow, 19 saves for Theo for the shutout? Somewhere, Price is thinking "19... yea that would be nice".
- Atlanta... you BREATHE inconsistency. No stopping the Pens now.
- Ottawa, we can always count on you to beat down the Slugs. Now be kind and lose Thursday? We need the points more than you, ok? A quiet night for Elliott, he only face 13 shots (11 saves). That's one good period for the Habs...
- Detroit woke up and stopped the Flyers from gaining more ground above. Not that it matters right now...
- It annoys me when the Leafs pull more wins out of their ass than the Habs.
- Dallas, Canucks, tied at 1.

The Bob and Patience: Habs 1, Devils 3

Yada yada yada Brodeur ties Roy's winning record. Yada yada yada Roy looked rather angry on that despite being happy for the "kid". Yada yada yada Breezer gets his 1000th. Yada yada yada Habs lose, city's in a turmoil, everyone's hating on Gainey...

WAKE UP PEOPLE
- It's going to take some time to break the manner of thinking Carbo ingrained in these guys' skull. Pleky gets it despite being labeled more a defensive forward, the young guys weren't around long enough to be too much affected by it, but the rest still fall on their bad habits.
- Well when Brodeur walked out on the ice everyone pretty much knew the outcome. The refs of course aided and dictated that to make sure they had every opportunity. That goalie interference especially was BOLLOCKS as prime example.
- I've no idea what happened to the puck on that 2nd goal. Neither did anyone else save for Rolston.
- Thing that angers me is the conspiracy theories presented by the media about ooooh Devils coming to town, Halak will be a sacrifice. Frankly Gainey trusts him to do his job, and he did just fine. The concentration is on the guys in front of him that are in need of fixing.
- PJ Stock playing the "Gainey's got some damage control to do" crap like he would know what happened to this team. Complaining about how there were no pickups on trade deadline either. (Uh how about Schneider and Metro BEFORE the deadline)? Bruins suck.
- Bottom line is there's a lot to fix and he left it up to Carbo to fix but never did. Bottom line was his bottom line. There's only so much patience a man can have, even for Gainey.
- "If the Habs had played like this against the Islanders they would have won that game, that's was makes me angry" says Benoit "The Tool" Brunet. Well ladida, the Islanders are playing balls out good these days. Habs have been relying on luck and good goalies for half the year.
- I know the Devils threw something like 45 or more shots, but it didn't really feel like it that much.
- Brodeur was pretty shakey for most of the game. If the Devils weren't such a force they could have been in trouble.
- Apparently Don Lever played for the Devils once. He was their first captain and scored their first goal.
- Habs play better when shorthanded.
- KOVY IS MISSED! GET WELL SOON KOVY! PLEAAAAAAAAAASE SAVE US!!!
- With Kovy MIA, Higgins has turned beastly on the PK (more than usual) in his place.
- Breezer didn't really make any signature errors tonight, but he was well rested. ACTUALLY did an awesome defensive 1-on-1 move. I'm shocked.
- I really do believe Stewart's face is made of stone.
- Like Gainey doesn't feel bad enough to have to fire his best friend, you people at the Bell Center are fucking rediculous that every time the team continues sucking you chant "CARBO"? Get real...
- My brother: "It's like they each have their own zone on the rink to protect and if the puck is in another quadrant, regardless of who's near or not, they won't go for it."
- Me: It's like they think twice before passing or shooting the puck. So by the time it's off their stick the other guy is totally ready to steal it.
- I really don't like that old blue stripe sweater.
- Don Cherry's tie was unreal.

Conclusion: Hey the second period wasn't so bad this time, actually. It's getting there, but while Rome was pretty much destroyed in one day, it wasn't built in a day...

Bulldogs!
While they lost last night to the number 1 Manitoba Moose last night, they did bring it to overtime! However today was different. They BEAT the Moose 5-1. Sergei lead the way with a goal and two assists, in addition to his two assists the night before in the losing game. He also got the 3rd star that night, while he picked up the 1st one tonight. He's working the point on the powerplay, something that was WORKING more or less up here but for whatever reason Carbo screwed around with. But it's nice to see him work with Weber and Maxwell and other Habs draftees. These guys are gonna be great if they ever come up here (in a more permanent manner of speaking, after taking in their AHL experience). Mike Glumac had two goals, Wyman totaly stole the puck from a guy behind his net and snuck it in, and Rrrrrryan Russell once again got the last goal of the game. Hmm, will Russell be Mr.Clutch some day?

NHL Standings make my brain hurt
- Well, Philly did us some good and beat the Rags rather well. Thanks.
- Lots of shootouts tonight though... Sens>Pens, Bolts>Cats, Thrashers>Sabres, Caps>Canes. Funny how this works out eh?
- The Big Bad Bruins only beat the Islanders 2-1.
- Oh my... I don't even understand this 8-6 win by the Leafs over the Flames. And that includes Jokinen's hattrick and Grabs' empty netter! And the shots? Leafs 30, Flames 35. What is happening here?
- Lovely note about Don Lever. If Scotty Bowman says things like that, then that's good enough for anyone, really. When Bowman talks people listen.

The Bob and Video Replay: Habs 2, Islanders 3 (OT)

Oh there is so much material The Bob can work with here. Stuff like offensive zone lacks finishing and poor positioning to gobble rebounds before the other team does. Defensive zone consists of being a statue and then staring at Price as he frantically attempts to save their arses. Either way, when Kovalev is stuck home sick (and it must have been bad because Kovy would play if he were just a torso) it's very noticeable!

Hockey players aren't allowed flu shots
- One powerplay goal by Pleky.
- They really should know not to give powerplays to the Islanders because uh...Streit is on that side of the rink.
- When Okposo is walking in on your goalie you might want to try and stop him?
- Apparently the Habs won lots more faceoffs than the Islanders? Could have fooled me.
- It's not really a bad team, it's just the Islanders have nothing else to play for but themselves. And to annoy the piss out of everyone that's looking for points. Can't you guys just roll over for ONE night, you know, especially at this time of year? TA-VA-RES!
- But hey, at least it wasn't the beat down they gave Brodeur last Saturday. Though it could have been if not for Price being money.
- Though, it's the Islanders and Komisarek ducked away from a hit and lost the puck in the defensive zone. Dude!
- AK46 was having a pretty bad night. But that weaksauce highsticking penalty was called after three un-called infractions, including two goalie interferences, on the Islanders. Bravo refs!
- It's Yann Danis, guys. Stop shooting right at him.
- I wish Schneider would extend his stick to at least make it look like he's trying to hold the blue line while on the powerplay.
- Kostopoulos is clutch. Sometimes.
- Though he might want that OT goal back, after nearly 40 shots coming in every which way Price was the man.
- Dandenault gave him a big pat on the back when he got to the bench.
- I think Lever has a book of notes by now. Time to call a real practice.

Conclusion: Are you fucking kidding me? The Devils roar into town and Brodeur is looking for that one more win to equal Roy's reconds. FUCK! Get the whip out, Bob. And by Saint Patrick save us...

I've no idea what the standings look like now:
- Ottawa, Bruins. Guess how that turned out? Sputza got himself two goals though. Wonder if his stick was "legal". Wonder if Julien was tempted to check.
- Huseeeeeeeelius. A name I keep mistaking for Helium. Well he gave the Pens 1 point for a shootout loss, but I'm more shocked Mason didn't get another shutout.
- Gomez, Callahan, Betts... It's the New York Detectives. Preds suck.
- Well, Ovie likes us so he's always willing to help by not giving the Flyers points.
- I think Vokoun is still in shock from Malkin's goal, but I don't know who I prefer winning and losing in a Florida/Buffalo game...
- DALLAS! I didn't think you could do it, but thank you for not giving Carolina any points. No overtime, nothing! Woo! And hey, Begin scored too! Knew we could count on him.
- The standings make me bitter!

The Bob and a Win: Habs 4, Oilers 3 (OT)

I found this picture best described my feelings towards some people...

You don't deserve this team. No I'm not talking about the players. I'm talking about you, the idiots in the Bell Centre who chanted for "Guy! Guy! Guy!" before the guys took the ice and during the difficult second period despite most of you city-wide armchair GMs calling for his head to roll since the beginning of the season. I'm talking about you, the idiots who BOOED Koivu when ever he had the puck even though he wasn't making errors. I'm talking about you, the idiots on RDS who dirtied this victory with a language issue because now there are FOUR coaches behind the Habs' bench who are anglophone. You who suddenly flinged more dirt on our brave captain and now commenting on how you need subtitles for his english. Do they have a problem with him because of his words on the radio? He didn't toss Carbo under the bus. He was very classy and picked his word carefully like he always does in sticky situations about why Carbo might have gotten cut. It's you who do these things and then wonder why players run away and have great success elsewhere or players refuse to sign here. I say SCREW YOU.

It's Purim, my Jewish name is Ester, and I enjoyed this game with fresh hamantaschens
- Jaro gets the February player of the month! Yay!
- Oh Tanguay, the invisible man. He stands alone in the slot and no one sees him until the red light is on.
- Outshot 23-9 by the second period, only two shots in that second period. But hey, one of those two shots was Metro's first goal as a Hab! Yay Metro! You get a cookie.
- Actually Metro was a beast tonight. He was everywhere. And probably has the best hands any fourth liner ever displayed on this team (except when Kovy was on the fourth line a few times). I would have given him the 3rd star tonight dammit.
- You guys would get more shots on net if you actually HIT the net.
- Stewie continues to make the crowd love him as he took down Stortini the caveman.
- Oi Souray... we love(d) you but crosschecking Tanguay in the face is NOT cool. I totally thought Koivu and you were gonna start fighting.
- More self goalie interference only this time they covered their own errors by getting the puck out of there. Not too successful with that 3rd goal though.
- Thank god there wasn't much meat on that Souray point shot that bounced of Pleky's leg and into the net. Do not want to see Pleky with a broken leg now ok...
- Roloson gets an Oscar.
- Captain Koivu, TWO GOALS. Suck it, bitches.
- And then the team clobbered him in the corner of the rink in victory.
- Demers on TSN looked like he was ready to cry when talking about the fate that befell dear Carbo. He was back to his old self on RDS though.
- I get giddy when I see Lever behind the bench.

Conclusion: Win 1 in the temporary Gainey era. I actually don't think any of the newly hired coaches this season got a win in their first game after replacing a fired individual... Either way, when the Bob speaks the boys listen. TWO HUGE POINTS WOO!

Eastern clusterfuck of doom:
- Fear the might of Steve Mason, Bruins, as he posts his 9th shutout on you. Also their fourth straight road loss. Thomas' mask broke in a collision and he had to use Manny's which is BAD for a goalie. That's like wearing someone elses underwear. Don't you guys have spares?
- Philly slapped the Sabres to keep them away from our points.
- Pens totally just walked into that shootout on Florida. Still had to leave them with one point eh...?
- Lots of overtime games tonight actually... Wings>Yotes, Sharks>Wild, Leafs>Islanders, Caps>Preds
- The world is apparently saved from the evil Jason Sputza and his illegal sticks. What? This wasn't a Stanley Cup Playoff turning point but a 2-1 regular season game between two teams dreaming of Tavares? Wilson is a tool.

The King is dead... Long live the King?

I was at work today actually DOING work for a change and listening to CJAD when the sudden news broke out that The Bob fired Guy "007" Carbonneau.

I can say I'm sad and a little disappointed, but I'm ok with the move. I supported Carbo maybe more than most fans did, mainly because I liked him better than the recent failed coaches of Therrien and Julien. Naturally I questioned his choices, like why Rhino wasn't playing when he was called up after doing good work on the farm (though he finally did put him in the line up and the young lad proved to be a monster in a good way) among other line choices. I questioned him tossing the goalie schedule out the window with a "content to ride the hot hand til it breaks" instead of cracking the whip and fixing the bigger problem: DEFENSE. I had a feeling the lack of Bob sightings at practice this season was weird considering last year he was out there and on the ice, making me believe that Bob took a step back after giving him a hand to work this ship and gave his full reins. But one has to realize, Gainey and Carbo are extremely close friends and to do this now is probably the most difficult decision in his already hard luck life. And for Carbo? The man who has the CH engraved in his heart and soul? Yea, I bet he's feeling pretty crappy right now...

I'm just happy it was after a very glorious win in Dallas instead of a terrible embarrassing loss. Carbo looked so very happy.

This comes only moments after the papers published a "Gainey's bucking the NHL trend to fire coaches right away". In a way he did. Some were screaming for Carbo's removal earlier in the season. The fact he stayed with him this long is proof to me that they at least tried to rectify whatever was going wrong. And yes Gainey said hiring Carbo was one of his best moves... It seemed the day after he said that, the Canadiens started tanking.

And while people scream and cry that Gainey did nothing on the deadline (François Gagnon, you're a tool)... I'm happy he didn't release the farm for Jokinen. I'm actually appalled at what Calgary let go for him. Hell I'd have traded something for Lombardi, but not Jokinen. Nevertheless, the trades were all fringe characters and specialists that the Canadiens have plenty stock off already. Nothing out there was appealing to this team's need. And forget about Lecav already, please.

I like that Don Lever is getting a taste of the Bell Center bench by Gainey's side. If things go well, he may be the next coach in line. Screw the language shit. Gainey wants the right man for the job regardless of his mother tongue, and frankly all the operations are done in english anyway. He can get the man a translator if they need one. What Lever brings is his own NHL experience and a long history of coaching, as well as being the key component to raising many of the current stars on this team. He was able to work with an extremely depleated roster for two seasons now and still keep them up in the race. Last season the Bulldogs barely missed the playoffs, but last season was a mess as the farm lost most of it's players to graduation and the rest to injury at the worst possible moment. This season hasn't been any different, as he saw his best players sent up to fill in and stay, and many of his cogs cut down with season ending injuries to the point where they've had to sign players to Try-Out contracts. And yet they're still in the race, still competitve.

It's true the most difficult job in hockey is goalie for the Canadiens. But following close behind? It's coaching the Canadiens. But I can tell Bob's patiences were done.

"Our performances over the past eight weeks have been below average. We need to perform better especially against teams which we are superior to on paper. The responsibility for a player to reach their potential is not up solely to the coach, but the player as well. We’ll make sure of that."

And while Bob is not without his own faults, a statement like that speaks volumes.

So to Carbonneau I say thank you for all you've done. You're crazy ties will be missed, but now it's up to Bob.

The Valiant Battle of Les Glorieux

'Twas the 12th of Adar, 5769. The men stepped forward into the State of Texas, blinking blindly into the warm sun. They looked ragged, beaten. Young Lord Price stepped forward and breathed in his surroundings.

"We should set up camp here," he called out softly.

The campaign felt like it has dragged on for an eternity, and the effects were starting to show not only on the men but on the people back home. A terrible defeat in the land of Buffalo came shortly after the King announced they would not be getting any reinforcements was followed by another defeat in Atlantia. While the effort was lacking in the first, they were not without character in the second. Kari the Finn was the only keeper blocking their path to glory that night. Nevertheless the people back home were getting restless, some may say angry. There is a fear that Les Glorieux will fall.

Young Price busied himself with his equipment, while his counterpart young Halak did the same. The two were friends but equally rivals. Lord Price earned his stripes with many hard won victories including a valiant campaign early in his career over the hated Bear tribe of the East, while young Halak filled in effortlessly when they need him to. On the other side of the camp Captain Koivu, leader of the assault brigade, oversaw the men in their own preparations. Tonight's battle won't be any easier and he knew this well. Tonight they face the Gargoyle, Turco. The Captain glanced over at the two young keepers with a look of sympathy that these poor young children may face a massacre tonight. Injury and self doubt has plagued them through their campaign. What would another defeat do?

"We need to win tonight," young Halak said suddenly as Lord Price looked over his trusty wooden paddle. "Worried?"

Lord Price had a strange look in his eyes as they traced the contours of the wooden paddle. It wasn't a look of worry. To young Halak it almost seemed like they were glowing. Lord Price sighed, "There is always worry, but I am confident we will win." He put the paddle down and headed out. "We have no choice," he said as he reached the tent's opening.

--------------------

The Gargoyle stood poised in his domain and Les Glorieux could not get near him. For what seemed hours, the dark suited men of the Gargoyle circled Lord Price's stronghold, trapping his men in their zone. One of the Gargoyle's most hated soldiers, Ott the Bold, was unstoppable. It seemed whenever one of Lord Price's fighters attempted to reach the Gargoyle, Sir Ott was there ready to take them down. Harder the Gargoyle's men pressed, dangerously attacking Lord Price until finally the keeper was knocked off his feet.

Darkness. Silence. Was this the end? Lord Price didn't believe he was finished. Slowly he rose, and picked up his trusty paddle. He pointed it at the Gargoyle, eyes ablaze. "You will not defeat me," he called out. Young Price's men looked at their keeper. They knew he was there for them. They knew he would stand his ground.

Again Sir Ott was on the attack, only this time he was met with resistence. Young Stewart of Hamilton stepped up and knocked the bold fighter to his knees. As the boy continued attacking him, it seemed Sir Ott would cower with every blow. "He is but a weakling," Young Stewart told his fellows. "Do not fear him. This is but an illusion from the Gargoyle!" The men looked at each other. They knew the boy was right.

Every opportunity seemed in the Gargoyle's favor with Lord Price's men left shorthanded for what seemed days. But nothing would come of their attack. Plekanec the Magnificent, a great cleric, would neutralize any attempt the Gargoyle tried on them and Lord Price would hold them at bay. Finally, Captain Koivu seized an opportunity and pounced on the Gargoyle. Left and right, back and forth they battled when finally Kostitsyn the Bald struck! Moments later, Kovalev the Magician got the Gargoyle with a lightning bolt. The Gargoyle appeared visibly shaken, his troops in disarray. He was completely foiled by young Master Higgins, squire to the great Captain, with what seemed the final blow.

Though the Gargoyle attempted to regain the upper hand, with a little help from wily old Fraser, his men could not break through Lord Price. The battle seemed out of hand. "Better to surrender than face death", thought the Gargoyle, no matter how much it pained him.

The Gargoyle grumbled and glared at young Lord Price. "You win this round, boy," he hissed as his men retreated. "But do not think the rest of your campaign will be easy. Until we meet again!" With that, the Gargoyle disappeared in a puff of smoke. His supporters stunned by this defeat had long abandoned the stronghold.

"We won," Lord Price said quietly, dropping to his knees in exhaustion. "Finally." His men, smilling, jubilant in their hard won victory surrounded the boy. They waited for him to move. Finally, the young Lord looked up. The sight of his men standing over him smiling was probably the greatest sight his young eyes had ever witnessed. "Together we won," he said smiling. "And together we will continue on."

The End.

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Yes I'm officially a dork. Thank you.

But anyway this win was fucking huge. Epic huge. Because the HATED Bear tribe of the East failed to foil the HATED Rangers of New York. And the HATED Penguins of Pittsburgh defeated the Capital fuckups of Washington. And the HATED Carolina and the HATED Buffalo are nipping at our heels. A loss would have dumped the Habs into 10th or something. Now we leap back to 5th. Assuming the HATED Penguins can smack down the HATED Panthers, it's still too close for comfort. (We'll see you in 6th after that one). I hate the East right now.

A Q&A with my screaming brain

Mike Boone posted some questions to ponder on his Habs I/O section of the page but since I was avoiding the site for while I totally missed it. Now that I'm spending my Saturday lounging around the house, I thought I'd give them a spin.

- Do you seriously see your Montreal Canadiens as a Stanley Cup contender?
Yes. When PK Subban is on the roster.

- In these troubled times, how much of your equity would you bet on them making the playoffs? Your house? Your devalued stock portfolio? $5 ... but only if you got good odds?
I only gamble through scratch cards. More fun. You wouldn't want my stock portfolio anyway.

- WWND? What would Nilan do if opponents roughed up his most talented teamate and ran his goaltender?
He'd eat the man, then turn around and punch another guy out and then skate to the bench and take on the entire team. Coach included. Then he'd call it a satisfying night.

- What ails Carey Price? Did he catch it from Mike Komisarek? And has it spread to Andrei Kostitsyn?
What ails the Priceberg? A lame duck team standing in front of him. (I say standing because god knows they ain't skating). Komo's stick is too long for him to handle. Andrei? Andrei who?

- Who is most likely to energize a troubled team, Bill Guerin or Alex Tanguay?
Didn't really help the Islanders and the Pens were already peaking before he came along. Tanguay is the invisible man.

- Were the Canadiens who weren't traded relieved or disappointed?
I'd like to say "relieved" but their response performance in Buffalo screams "disappointed".

- If Jaro Halak falters, can we start dreaming about John Tavares?
Sweet, sweet, Tavares...

- On the morning after a loss and a plane trip, would you bag-skate 38-year-old Patrice Brisebois, 34-year-old cancer survivor Saku Koivu and 36-year-old Alex Kovalev?
Only time you'll ever see them skate hard, so why not.

- Is there another team in the National Hockey League that has a forward coaching the defencemen and defencemen playing forward?
There are defensmen coaching forwards. Most have been fired already. The rest look like lawyers.

- Is it true you're allowed to call timeout in hockey games?
Only when the game is completely out of reach.

- Is it true you're allowed to make in-game adjustments?
You mean the Kovy/Metro/Kostopoulos line?

- If his name were not Guy Carbonneau, would he still be coaching the Montreal Canadiens?
Haha... no. Though you never know with Bob!

- If his name were not Bob Gainey, would he have the best job security – outside of maybe Gary Bettman – in the NHL?
Bob has done good, he gets to stay. He doesn't overpay and actually listens to his capologist. It's also not his fault Montreal is full of armchair GMs and dirty laundry digging media.

- Who'll play better on Sunday, Mike Ribeiro or Steve Bégin?
Bégin always brings it.

- And finally: Which Montreal Canadiens will show up for the stretch srive?
Price and Halak have no choice but to show up.
Kovy, but will be tripped or will lose sight of his linemates.
Pleky, Koivu, Patches, Lapierre and the rest of the 3/4 liners always show up, whether they do anything in the scoring column remains to be seen.
Defense is up for grabs.
Higgins will show up to tip things wide.
Stewart will punch anything that hits him. Boom!

Bulldogs report!
How does second consecutive shutout for Cedrick Desjardins sound? What about third consecutive game Ryan Russell scored, each goal being the last goal of the game, two were empty netters? Or the team going 4-0 after going 0-3? Yes the Bulldogs shutout the Crunch 3-0. Tomorrow they face the Marlies again.

My brother calls Saturday "backwards day"
- The Sens are our friends! Though anyone who beats the Sabres are our friends. It ended 6-3.
- Bolts or Dolts? Doesn't matter. I think they were looking for a 3rd goalie by the end of the 2nd period. But losing 9-3 to Carolina, you guys just suck.
- The Blues are also not our friends tonight. Fucking Florida.
- Brodeur had a massive meltdown and gave up 6 goals on 26 shots against the Islanders. Somehow it makes losing 2-0 to Atlanta a little better.
- Detroit fucked up against Columbus 8-2. Rick Nash, woah. Hey Aaron Downey scored, but the plus/minus in that list is astounding.
- Boston 5, Chicago 3. No I don't miss Huet giving up constant softies...
- Todd McLellan looks like his hair is turning grayer by the day. Sharks are down 2-0 to the Canucks but Boucher, like always, took the first period to warm up. (Now he's a wall).

Oh Wonderful... Habs 0, Thrashers 2

I had a rather lovely evening with some friends celebrating a birthday at the Bond Bar and Grill (and Tapas). It's a James Bond themed bar that plays Bond movies on constant rotation, has old Bond posters everywhere, plays crappy music (you'd think they'd play Bond themes instead), and names their fancy drinks after Bond things. Mine was the Holly Goodhead, solely because I didn't feel like asking someone for the Pussy Galore...

And then I came home.

I knew the Habs lost 2-0 because my friend checked the scores on his iPhone every now and then. But wow. Unreal:
My brother was in the living room watching the news recap shaking his head and told me "they had like a zillion penalties". They had the emotion, but had zero finish. Or like I told my friend after we huddled around the iPhone, "Habs can't buy a goal these days".

So, bowling doesn't work. Bag skating doesn't work. Benching Breezer on his 1000th game doesn't work. (Or locking him in a trunk). Being a jumpy steely eyed angry coach doesn't work. Carey Price on the ball doesn't work. What for the love of Beliveau will work?


I always thought Carbo looked a bit like Daniel Craig Bond's French Canadian hockey playing long lost twin brother.

A few more like this and we can start singing TA-VA-RES!

Looking at that annoyingly close 10th place:
- Calgary you bastiches! Losing 6-1 to the Hurricanes does not help us! Oh, they just had to play Kipper's backup for this game. This is the reason why Kipper plays every game. McElhinney is 0-7-1 in his whole NHL career so far.
- Phoenix, you're not helping either. A 5-1 loss to Buffalo. Merci! *sad*
- Stars 3, Ducks 2. Well, at least the Stars won't be pissed off when the Habs roll into town Sunday... instead they're just getting warmed up.
- My condolences for Mrs. Hockey, who passed away today at 76.

Bulldogs report!
Mwahahaha! The Bulldogs shut out the Marlies 2-0. Sergei got the 3rd star! He set up Maxwell on the first goal of the game which came in the 3rd period. Ced turned away 26 shots (Pogge only faced 15). When Russel hit the empty net with 6 seconds left, Marc Denis was doing the Bulldogs Cheer in celebration, yes while in full gear.

Even better news? Mike Glumac is back from injury, early.

Because me and tutorials are done professionally

Yea I had a long long day. I'm still in project limbo so I was given access to some special website to check out some tutorials on various programs we use at work. However they appear to be narrated by a legion of surfer dudes and after using them for two days, I've had just about enough of them. Plus I can't listen to my radio/Doctor Who audio plays/whatever with them on.

Carbo bag skated the troops and then held an optional practice. Price stayed on and took on some shots. Tangay should be playing tomorrow. (YAY!) Laraque is Bad Back City. (BOO!) Patches was spared the bag skate because he needs therapeutic baths, but he skates his ass off anyway. Schneider went to see the family. Apparently he's been living in a hotel since being traded. With the fallout from last night's debacle, Comment City on Habs I/O pisses me off as much as the forums, so I'm playing avoidance. But I'm bored and rather than ponder why Florida refuses to go away, I'll have some fun with what generic play-by-play call can be associated to our boys for new nick names:

Higgins - Fans On Puck
Koivu - Pass Does Not Connect
D'Agostini - Tips It Wide
Kovy - Tripped Up At The Blue Line
Pleky - Alone In the Offensive Zone
AK46 - Chips It In And Will Go Off On A Change
Pacioretty - Steams Ahead
Lapierre - Yapping Away To The Bench
Kostopoulos - Can't Pull The Trigger
Stewart - Bowls Him Over
Metro - Just Missed Him On The Far Side
Laraque - Pummels Him
Gorges - Bounced Off That Check
Komisarek - Turns It Over In The Slot
Hammer - Fails To Clear
Markov - Shoots It Way Wide
Breezer - Caught Flatfooted Pinching
Schneider - Buries It
Dandenault - Pressbox
O'Byrne - Healthy Scratch

Ya, I'm bitter about those last two...

Help Wanted
- The Bruins just lost to the Coyotes. WTF?
- Toronto apparently doesn't want Tavares anymore as they nearly shutout the Ovechkin-less Caps. I smell Lindros Draft Screw Up/Trade.
- Meh Islanders. USELESS! Rags win 4-2.
- Calgary helped out, sort off, and smacked up the Flyers 5-1.
- Pens! Friends! Beat the Panthers (finally) 4-1.
- Ok, I know the fight against cancer is important and all...but I really can't picture Subban wearing this. Holy crap bright! Though Tangradi doesn't look so bad in it.

I don't say this lightly...

...But be ashamed.

Ashamed that after Gainey said he believes this team is the team he wants and didn't trade any of you droogs that you come out and play like this on the perverbial 4-pointer.

Ashamed that there's a young guy in nets trying his hardest to give you a game but you other guys forget to show up or only play 15 minutes in the first period and then go on day dreaming for the rest.

Ashamed that you can't clear the puck out of your zone. And once you do and get it into the offensive zone, you need to dump it and go off on a change. Hey, looks like the playoffs from last season! Oh right, they blamed it on Price too.

Ashamed that you're second on the puck every time, can't win a board battle, can't win a faceoff, can't hussle, can't skate.

Ashamed that Lindy Ruff is a better coach than you right now, Carbo.

Anyone see the defense corp? All I saw were a few guys running around lightly giving the puck to Sabres players for perfect shots, or blocking shots and then forgetting about them not realizing that instead of letting Price take it and freeze it you've deflected it onto a Sabres players' stick who's wide open.

Yes it's always a perfect idea to throw the puck up the middle while Spacek is barreling forward full steam ahead and makes supposed defensemen look like pylons. Doing that is the equivalent of giving the puck away to Kovy with a wide open net.

The little guy's horseshoes may have worked for a few games, but Halak isn't going to stop 50 shots a night, especially when he's usually flat on his back and Buffalo players shoot high so don't give me that crap about the game would have been won if he were there. Price can't because he just gets more depressed as the night goes on. (Shots are usually less with him because of the rebound control). He even took a shot in the neck for you, and you did nothing to say thank you while he went back into nets, a face red with pain. (The wonders of HD).

Oh I think I saw Kovalev. He hit someone off the puck and then...no one else joined in to get the puck.

I saw Gorges pin a guy to the wall and free up the puck...and then everyone stood around and thought about doing something.

I saw Koivu wrap around and shoot at the net...and then somehow it bounced off D'Agostini.

I saw Higgins attempt a wrap around again but miss completely. Though that one doesn't actually surprise me.

I saw a terrible powerplay where Markov seems to suddenly insist on shooting now, yet always shoots ten feet too high. Schneider is there, right on the other side. Give it to him please.

Anyone see Andrei Kostitsyn lately? No? Ya, me neither.

I still thank heavens for Max Pacioretty.

One goal. Pleky scored too little too late.

No, this is not Price's fault.

This is all on you who make Lalime look like he's Martin Brodeur.

Maybe Bob should have traded half of you for something... I'd have even taken draft picks. Congratulations, but Bob's vote of confidence just went out the window.

About the only thing I enjoyed tonight was I got to sit on my lovely new sofa. So comfy...

Trade deadline: Ya whatever. Bunch of broken or bad goalies got switched around. Bunch of underachievers moved. Nothing really special from my point of view. I think the picks were the best moves of the day, while Calgary is still 95% power forwards. (The other 5% are the goalies and maybe one defenseman).

Or maybe there is one thing. The Flyers got that idiot from the Coyotes. Joy...