Habs 2, Sabres 3 (OT): I am in NO mood to take this right now

We're having a shit-ton of snow right now, which is WONDERFUL. I'm serious, I'm happy. I love snow. What I hate though? I have a dog in one arm ('cause the German Shepherd was in the parking lot and Toaster flips out when he sees her) and I'm getting my bags out of the car with my other, and then I close my door and POOF my car keys disappeared. (I had already locked the doors). I pushed the snow out of the way all over, I turned my car inside out, I dumped all my bags contents on the floor, I checked everywhere: Nothing. Thankfully living near my parents who have a spare key has it's perks, but holy shit my day just went from a pretty meh of a good-ish day to FUCK YOU UNIVERSE DIE EVERYONE. And Toaster wouldn't shut up until he finally realized how pissed off I was and I didn't need him barking in my face to throw his fucking ball.

And of course the Habs are playing like they're still guzzling all the Guinness left over from the St. Patrick's Day festivities and losing to the Sabres 2-0 and looking like they couldn't give two shits of a damn.

With the loss of my keys I'm in no mood to recap this shit fully. So, Habs missed FORTY SEVEN times. Steve Ott is fuckhead and someone should have punched him on his game winner in OT when he fell on Price right after. Someone should have punched Markov and told him HE DIDN'T NEED TO PLAY THE WHOLE PK IN OT, especially with the effort of a wet noodle. Gallagher is the real MVP. Lars Eller should be cloned so he could play all game. Colby Armstrong has enough games left to get 20 goals. Accountability apparently doesn't apply to Desharnais and I'm already pissed off with that contract if he's going to be lazy defensively and spread that laziness to Pacioretty. And what a bullshit phantom penalty call on PK, especially after not calling blatant shit like when Eller dragged someone down the length of the ice like he's a fucking sled.

Good thing I have chocolate, or this news that Bouillon's agent has spoken to Bergevin about extending his contract an extra year that just showed up on my timeline would have made me punch walls...

Missed 47 times.

Jhonas Enroth must have sprayed himself with Old Spice Hawkridge.

Habs just lucky the Jets beat the Bruins in regulation. Habs still first in the Northeast. Yay lose point.

PS. I now found the keys buried in the ice in the parking lot. But then Bergevin extended Cube's contract. WHY? Couldn't wait til fucking Summer and see if maybe someone else out there was available? Unless you trade him for Hal Gill to fix the shit penalty kill...

Habs 2, Devils 1: The answer

And 42 is Tinordi.

Welcome to the NHL, Jarred Tin Man Tinordi.

The delicious irony of our highly touted defensive defenceman getting on the score sheet with a heads up assist on the game winning goal by intercepting a clear and getting the puck on net where Plekanec tipped it in.

Ended the night with the 1 assist, a +2, and a few seconds shy of 15 minutes. Also stood up for the Captain when Clarkson decided to slash him after the whistle. His gigantic father must be proud!

Exit New Jersey ASAP
- Felt like the last 5 minutes took an hour.
- I don't put much stock in the Devils playing in Philly last night to a shootout. It's practically next door.
- Only took Chris Lee the 2nd period to be Chris Lee. Still, not as bad as Tim Peel.
- CBC's Hot Air Stove claims these reality show things are the reason why a bunch of teams are doing badly (New York, Philly, Washington, Edmonton). Guess it's not bothering the Habs...considering they always have cameras in their faces.
- HOLY FUCKING SHIT ARMSTRONG SCORED A GOAL.
- Then proceeded to freak out with the puck the rest of the game.
- And parked in front of Hedberg? Mike Blunden, who's flight was cancelled out of Newfoundland yesterday and only got in close to lunch time this morning.
- Yo Habs. The diamond formation you're using on the penalty kill isn't working. And I'm waiting for you to notice this....
- And waiting...
- Guess I shouldn't hold my breath on that considering it took a fucking injury to Diaz to get PK the icetime he very much deserves...
- Who, by the way, was amazing tonight.
- That "Hey YOU SUCK" chant is bush league, Devils fans.
- Also I thought everyone agreed to ban that pedo's song from arenas.
- Lars Eller was also amazing. I don't know but every time someone says "I want to see more from him" HOW MUCH FUCKING MORE?
- Lost in all this, yea he hasn't gotten a point in a while but Galchenyuk's defensive abilities are crazy for a 19 year old who missed all of last year.
- He even dumped people out of Price's crease.
- So every time Pleky scores, half the fan base salivates at the thought of trading him? Fuck you. Pleky for life!
- Mark Tinordi is a giant giant man. I feel bad for the person sitting behind him.
- Still convinced Price can't steal a game? That was 18 saves in the 3rd period alone. You're welcome.
- By the way Habs are 2-0-0 on the Devils this year.

So, Tinordi eh... Can we keep him?

Markov interview bomb for the win.

ATTENTION EVERYONE part 2!

CAREY PRICE FOREVER! Well, OK, six more years. But in hockey terms that's forever. Proceed to triple low five the person next to you. Hey pro goalie dudes, explain to us what Carey Price is please.

Price is one of the best damn goalies in the universe. You guys want me to explain the "CP31 Speed Bubble" I always talk about? I'm bored. The CP31 Speed Bubble is a trait that only he displays. It's a mental awareness in which he moves at his own speed and his own pace regardless of the speed or the pace of the play around him. Regardless of what happens around him, he always moves and flows at HIS pace. So there you go. Price lives in a speed bubble, and this is why he looks so even-keeled, moves so effortlessly. He's almost always unfazed.

Fans often get disgruntled because he'll look passive or "lazy" at times, but that comes with the territory of the CP31 Speed Bubble. Deal. Price reads and processes plays with calm precision, moves similarly. So positionally structured & economical, he could play until he's 45. -- Justin Goldman (the Goalie Guild)

Translation: Price is the goalie equivalent of the Matrix, and WE GOT HIM! So fuck off the reservation, McGuire.

What else did GMMB get us? Some familiar faces and some better bottom-six rugged dudes to make life a little more comfy for the top-six guys.

Who's back?
- Travis TOUCHDOWN Moen for four more years!
- Alexei Emelin for two more years! BOOM!
- Brendon Nash for another year! Now don't get destroyed in fucking training camp again please.
- Petteri Nokelainen for another year! But there's a big chance he gets waived early. Again.
- Michael Blunden is back even though he didn't get the qualifying offer.
- Cedric the Entertainer Desjardins is back for Hamilton after, well, realizing our other goalies still kind of suck.
- FrankieBou is back! Proving that he does indeed have a life clause that stipulates he can only play with either the Habs or the Preds.

Who's new?
- Brandon Prust for four years! Will help block the shots with Gorges.
- Colby "Closet Habs Fan" Armstrong for a year! And he's still getting paid by the Leafs so BONUS!

You can stop dreaming about Jagr. Either he signs for a reasonable price already or he stops using Montreal as leverage for other deals. Anyway, the dude is 40. I doubt he wants to really play for this team...