Habs 5, Leaf 2: Bite me

AIR GUITAR!

Harlem Shake is the Leafs' goal song.

Gorges is retweeting some chatter about someone wishing he were hotter than he is.

And Price is tweeting about Duck Dynasty.

Hockey jumped the shark.

Do I need to remind you Michael Ryder is a Hab again?
- You know what sucks? THIS FUCKING SLUSHSTORM.
- Why the flying fuck is Colton Orr playing 15 minutes? With Kadri? With more ice time than Kessel and JVR? Oh right, Carlyle thinks goons = wins.
- It's because of that, Mike Douchechops Brown's hit from behind on Gorges was a 5 and a toss instead of a 2. Yes, I think he was tossed simply to send a message to the bench to quit their shit now.
- Once again, Dion Phaneuf goes after things smaller than him and runs from Prust. But really, Gallagher doesn't give a crap who you are, he will skate through you and will usually end up under your goalie in the net.
- Which prompted a hilarious thing! CTV's Brian Wilde mentions a prayer for Gionta to teach Gallagher how to avoid dangerous situations. I totally disagree with this, as this is not in Gallagher's DNA. And anyway if you've watched Gally play most of his hockey life, teaching him to avoid danger is ridiculous and would kill his game (in any case, he knows what he's doing). Long story short, my disagreeing with his statement prompted Tennis Man to bite my fucking head off for being "contrarian on every bloody thing", of which I politely did not appreciate and clarified I'm merely disagreeing with his statement because Gally can take care of himself thank you very much. Plus, teaching him to go do the complete opposite of what made him an NHLer? Yea that's smart... In any case, he has deleted his side of the small exchange and probably blocked me like the insecure twat he appears to be. It's called a Twitter exchange. Deal with it or get off. (ie, Bite me).
- By the way, the Phaneuf hit on Gallagher? Gallagher stayed on his feet while Phaneuf tumbled over. Remind me who knocked Georges Parros on his ass in Florida? OH YEA, Gallagher.
- Still, some progress: Scrivens didn't attack Gally this time.
- Both goals against were total fails in coverage. You just can't stop skating guys...
- So Patches gets two glorious chances on the 5 minute major, misses both (including an absolutely abandoned net). PK breaks his stick on a shot, Scrivens bounces the rebound off Patches' leg and in. Typical.
- Though Patches made up for it on a Kovalev-esque shot after little DD out-muscled Phaneuf to get him the puck. (Suck it Phaneuf).
- Penalty shot: denied. Maybe next time Grabs should try biting the puck.
- Somewhere, Tyler Bozak is still bitching about losing the faceoff clean to DD on Gally's goal. YOU LOST THE DRAW. Deal with it.
- Every time I saw a Habs goal, I saw JVR float by after it. It was the only time I noticed JVR, really.
- When Emelin scores, I get real happy.
- And Gionta adds the rare empty netter for free wings!

So, Gallagher gave Ryder his number back and took his old 11 on. Happily took his number 11. Then again, Gallagher is basically synonymous with happy.

Suck it Leafs.

Habs 3: Leafs 0: Universal balance restored

The happy bulldog is happy

That felt good.

Nothing like beating the Leaf utterly after a 3-game losing streak.

Nothing like shutting out the Leaf when all TSN/CBC mentions all days is how they're only 14 points behind the Habs! No mention of the five teams ahead of them or the fact they feed off fellow non-playoff teams. It's a tale of two teams going in two different directions! Leafs won 4 of their last 6! Plan the parade!

Booya.
Should send that to CBC and their KesselTracker.

Also have to note that David Desharnais has finally scored in a game they WON! Hurray! Sadly looks like Patches' shoulder tweaked again. Sigh...

This is the second time the Habs have shutout a team while I was drawing my entry for that mask design contest. I best start printing out more blanks in case they need my help to slumpbust another day...

I need a video of what Price was doing at the end of the game. He's too funny.

Habs big fat nothing, Flames 1: Twits get shutout

And at home too! Oh the huge manatee!

RDS then had an epiphany midway through the 3rd: that the goalies have a razor thin margin of error. Wow! Just realized this now? What? Tired of blaming Price? (Who's only victories came via him basically stealing the game for them).

Though they did play better defensively tonight, blocking shots and taking care of them, the PK was spot on too but was missing those short handed chances. Even if I think Gorges, Spacek, and Hammer are playing way too many minutes and just getting beaten up day in and day out... Gorges looked so tired when he took that tripping penalty. Oh and the new guy from the Devils did a fine, simple job. I think we'll get some good minutes and work from him.

But good lord our offense is a bloody mess. No structure and no actual cohesive pressure. Nothing could really get set up or organized, and if they did, same old story: sticks in skates, passes behind, flubbed shots, missed shots, shooting wide or getting blocked.

Whatever.

Oh and after the game, Cammy was the mouthpiece of the evening. Holy crap does this man talk! Even CTV's local game weasle was like "this man just screams 'Captain'". Yea, they're still obssessed with that.

Yup.
- I'm thinking a healthy dose of Andrew Conboy could do some good for this team. He's huge, he's fast, he's mean, and he goes to the net. And he's got a song! We've got a great big CONBOY rocking through the night!
- And while your at it, CALL UP SERGEI FFS!!!
- Jokinen's moustache was frightening. On par with Don VanMoustached.
- Urge. To destroy. Benoit Brunet. Rising!
- So by looking like a mutation of the Minnesota Wild and the Toronto Maple Leafs, the Habs fail to score and run around a lot.
- I actually love these jerseys. But the boys looked wierd out there tonight. And White looked like a little boy in his. Some silly trivia on the sweaters.
- Jaro's glove was bouncy tonight.
- Phaneuf appears to have lost his eyebrows.
- At least Pleky bounces when he gets hit. If that were Tanguay, he'd have broken his aura.
- Yes, we're awesome when it's 4-on-4 hockey time. So can we get those larger rinks now?
- Apparently it's National Hit Tomas Plekanec Month.
- Kipper was yawning while making those saves.
- Damn you invisible shield over the other goal!

I'm disappointed that the NHL has decided to keep the Brodeur Rule. What a bunch of idiots...

Habs 3, Flames 4: Public Transportation Blows!

I'm counting on you, Andrei!

Nothing sucks more than walking into the Metro after work only to hear the chimes of FAILURE. That's right. A massive power failure knocked out the entire thing for like ever. So I had to call my dad to come get me to bring me to my car as I have no idea how to get from the heart of downtown to Namur by bus. At least not by any means that'll take less than a year to complete. FUCKING MONTREAL METRO. (Yea, you hear me Mayor?)

So anyway, Calgary eh? My brother calls the Flames the Calgary Phil Kessels. RDS revelation of the evening: Flames defencemen are point productive. Thank you Captain Obvious. They also enjoy 4 man forechecking.

Meanwhile I'm convinced the Habs plan is to spend a lot of time cycling and board battling in their zone to get the other goalie cold.

Things appear to be coming together. They played a lot better than the first two games and actually managed to outshoot for once. Even when down, there was still no quitting. And haha Pleky outmuscled Phaneuf like every time. It was hilarious. Sweet backhand goal too. Was it like 10 seconds left in the second to tie it up? Watch it now, the Pleky has a fire lit under his arse.

Gui and Gomez also got some pretty awesome goals too. Cammalleri owned Iginla along the boards for a perfect pass to Gomez. Gui's came after mass confusion totally caught Kipper off guard. Badabing, backhand. If he had missed I would have jumped through my TV to slap him. Mara quietly gobbled up two more assists.

Unfortunately Chipper's linemates were totally not helping and he got blamed for the first goal. How?! He was working his guy while his teammate watched, and immediately shifted attention to the shooter while still dealing with the first guy. Dude can't get a break... Though I gotta say, what was Nystrom doing fighting Chipper? No contest... (Never mind Nystrom's hattrick which wasn't a hattrick 'cause the third one actually bounced off Gorges).

And poor Gorges. He was absolutely everywhere, but didn't have an easy time tonight. In the end he got pretty fed up and tried to save the game by himself. We salute your effort Gorges!

And I've no idea what to do with Andrei. He has totally taken over Kovy's ENIGMA nickname. On one hand he's going full steam ahead like the power forward sniper he is, and then misses a pass that would just require a little reach and very little effort to receive. But I'm just going to chalk it up as someone trying to learn a system he has never ever seen or done in his life. So it'll take some time for him... But you don't need to speak Russian to understand the words "SHOOOOOOOT!"

Patches is getting there too. That penalty was fucking weak though. Two minutes for muscling down someone with a shoulder with both players getting their sticks crossed defensively (ie. 2 minutes for playing hockey), while ignoring the trippings by the Flames not long before... Loved when Gionta got dumped randomly at the line, which would usually be called interference, but not to Mike Leggo. And yes I read Gomez's mouth as he yelled to the ref "What the fuck was that?!"

In the end Kipper > Halak tonight, even with the quick whistle near the beginning when the Habs threatened to score. Though what's up with Halak and Calgary? He played both games last year too. OH! New mask for Jaro~!

Got every reason to put a W00T here 'cause it was still entertaining!
- Moen has 3 points in 3 games now!
- Weber did very nicely tonight.
- Oh right MA Bergeron was signed this morning to help on defence (regardless of how he's known more for offense) to a super cheap contract. Currently conditioning in Hamilton. Demographics also fulfilled, RDS seems pleased.
- SERGEI SMILED after he scored on Sanford in Bulldogs practice, so here's hoping he's "getting" it.
- I'm hoping the team has a fire under it's arse for tomorrow
- Don't embarrase Pricey in his homecoming!!!