On Glen Metropolit and other things

At least I have an excuse to post this photo one more time

Metro's off to the Swiss Alps. Zug to be exact. The beautiful town of Zug. For two years. This man deserves no less. Actually, he deserves more, but it's a nice way to wind down one's career. He's happy his last team in the NHL was the Habs, and we're happy you were here Metro. I still can't find your shirt in my size (junior medium or large) dammit.

Glen Metropolit is the very embodiment of the Masterton trophy. A nomination for it would have been nice. It's too bad the media was too glassy eyed with a certain goalie who's story really isn't that uncommon...

Thankfully he can't score on us from EV Zug. However, may you win another scoring title over there, Metro.

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Top 5 reasons why Marty Turco turned down the Philly offer:

5. Those Philly cheese steak would cause him to tip the Eastern conference scale of "fat Martys" way too much for his liking.

4. Didn't want Pronger to steal all the pucks. You know how much Turks loves pucks.

3. "Carcillo? Didn't I see you in the desert kissing a cactus?"

2. Felt he didn't want to steal Leighton's thunder because two average goalies were far too much for one team.

1. They wouldn't give him an injury curse insurance policy.

LOL of the day to: CKAC (or C-CRAP) for even pondering if Niemi could end up in Montreal. Excuse me but HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAdid you actually see him play?

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We welcome Alexandre Picard to the fold, or to the "club of underachieving French-Canadian defensemen who will find themselves locked in the perverbial trunk that my turn into a real trunk one day". It's a two-way contract so hopefully he stays down in Hamilton and guys like Carle, Weber, Henry, Clubbertank, and any other D get called up way before him unless of course he has an ephiphany and suddenly becomes a really good 6'2" defenseman who won't lose the puck and might hit something other than the wall. I won't hold my breath. (He's all yours, Randys).

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STOP TALKING ABOUT PRICE'S CONTRACT!!! Maybe he's busy making sure his lawn doesn't burst into flames. Maybe a bear ate the first contract so he's waiting for a new one. Maybe he's busy working out in Calgary with his cousin Keaton Ellerby (which is probably most likely since it's the beginning of August). Maybe it's just taking longer to reach him because he lost his phone and you have to hunt him down out there in the bush. Or MAYBE he's waiting until he turns 23 so he can get some unknown CBA clause thing ironed out. WHO FUCKING KNOWS! STOP TALKING ABOUT IT LIKE YOU KNOW UNLESS YOU'RE SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO HIS AGENT! And tell me why the fuck does Kari "My Back" Lehtonen deserve a 3.55 million dollar INCREMENTAL contract in practically tax-free Texas while you all seem to think Price doesn't deserve even a 2.5 million one JUST FOR DEALING WITH YOUR SHIT?

If you're still pissed off about "The Trade 2.0" go cheer for the fucking Blues. Lord knows they'd love to have more fans.

Calling all doctors!

Gold tooth, Metro. GET ONE!

So it's apparently bad, like REAL bad. Like season ending injury BAD. Well, regular season ending injury bad...

However it would probably take a freight train, plus a nuclear explosion, to keep Glen Metropolit out for very long.

"I kinda wanted to call bullshit on six to eight weeks," Metropolit told Inside/Out tonight. "It is what they said, but right then I wanted to get to work and prove everyone wrong, prove that I'm not going to be out that long."

Glen, if you weren't already married happily with 3 children I'd be calling. Just saying.

Time to make a new vigil photo...

Habs 5, Bolts 3: Playoffs in sight

This is how you're supposed to play now, team. It doesn't matter that you scored on your own net twice (well, a goal and an assist) because there really wasn't any fear that the Lightning were going to suddenly take command of this game. There was primary and secondary (tertiary?) scoring. A powerplay goal. Solid defense with zero backing up and maybe one or two lapses but nothing too drastic. None of that stupid "score 2 and sit on the goalie all night" crap. Instead you're supposed to compliment your goaltending just like tonight. Like what RDS said, when this team is MOVING they look like the best team in the League.

It only took them the entire season to get it eh?

Gomez had a goal and two assists and cracked the 50 points mark. Each one of those three points was definitely worth a million bucks each. Metro in his 400th game now has the most powerplay goals on the team, and has a career high 15 goals. Benoit Pouliot goes "Gui who?" and Darche Vader used the force and scared away Niittymaki. Gave us free wings. too!

Of course the best pass of the evening was Hal Gill to Steven Stamkos on the powerplay. Oops, wrong team!

That's ok Hal, we still love you. Not like it was a go-ahead goal or anything anyway.

No idea where Lecavalier was all night. They mentioned his name but I only noticed him when he tripped over Jaro and hurt himself. I mean, St-Louis looked to be concussed the previous game but he was out there tonight and scored a gorgeous goal like he usually does. But Lecav? Tanguay? Anyone there? No? Good.

We all got a scare when a collision looked to have taken out Pleky's knee but seems it was only a charleyhorse or something as Pleky returned almost immediately. Injures and this team are unbelievable this year...

Scoreboard watching, Habs still in 7th with 72 points. Boston lost in OT so they're stil stuck in 8th. Thanking the Leafs makes us feel dirty. Philly unfortunately won, but nothing would have moved anyway. Nashville did us all a favour by beating the Thrashers. And while Florida won in the shootout they're still stuck down in 12th. I looked at this week's schedule and there's a definitely possibility Les Boys can grab 6 huge points this week (though it appears Drouin-deslauriers has had an epiphany and may be tough to beat, depending how tired he is come Thursday). Bruins are in big trouble but it could go to OT. They're annoying like that.

By the way, the GMs talking at the Head Shots commitee sound like a train of idiots capped off by king idiot himself, Colin Campbell. I really don't think they get it...

Habs3, Islanders 0: Zombies don't like snow storms

Ho ho ho! The Markov 79 strikes again.

I can take the signal down! The call has been answered! Andrei Markov has returned! The heavens have opened and belched down a pile of snow for this Hallmark moment.

And what better way to stop the slide than a trip to New York to visit the slumping, disinterested zombie Islanders. They're just what the doctor ordered! But don't think you'll enjoy this type of game if Atlanta remains it's annoyingly cocky bastard self on Monday 'cause tonight was a battle of pure slop. I only hope this win gives them some confidence to stop playing like they're sleepwalking.

This is, of course, assuming they get out to Atlanta considering the storm...

HAPPY! HAPPY! JOY! JOY!

POWERPLAY!
- Three powerplay goals was all she wrote. Almost got a fourth but Biron decided to be good at the end of the game.
- The glorious return of Markov! Two of those powerplay goals, thank you very much. Only has 45 games to get back up there.
- Metro with the last powerplay goal. And Guimauve wonders why he lost his powerplay time to Metro? It's only his 4th goal of the year there.
- Fourty shots? I honestly don't remember that many...
- Tavares was where? Okposo was doing all the work tonight. Moulson lost interest after Jaro stopped him twice in close.
- Everytime Metro-Moen-Patches were sniffing for a goal, they drew a penalty instead. Which is good but they really wanted to score!
- Islanders players spent more time falling on their ass than playing.
- Pleky showing his fatigue. The penalty box was renamed the vacation box. Cranky night. My hamster Pleky was also cranky tonight. Hmm...
- The Mara/Rhino pairing on D will ragdoll you
- Sergei created some great chances and caused much havoc but Pierre Houde couldn't get Brunet to give the kid any credit or compliment. He just wanted to point out the bad stuff.... Like the nice set up he made for Gomez who was too late to convert.
- Streit was showing why Bob wasn't willing to give him that high priced contract.
- Laraque asking Sutton to dance for his hit on Pleky was lame. You think Sutton will go with Laraque? He's smarter than that. You have to either get in his face or hit him like a target all night.
- Like when Hunter went after Markov, Moen went after Hunter
- Our special teams rock, including a 4 minute penalty kill that spent more time in the other end.
- For a moment I thought Jaro was doing like Mike Smith and might have actually picked up a thing or two about puckhandling from Price...and then he went back to the normal Jaro. Almost screwed up his shutout bid too... Ah well, that's our Jaro!
- So they really do call penalties with 2 seconds left eh?
- Apparently they asked the crowd to move closer to the rink to fill up the empty seats. The Islanders fans had long left if they were there in the first place. It was a sea of red, white, and blue...and not the American flag.
- About time this team worked for a shutout!

OK Habs fans... I know the trip to Long Island is cool and all, but when you start singing the Goodbye song, in someone else's home, it just makes you a crowd of douchebags. Though heckling Biiiiiiiiron in his own building was hilarious.

Holy Mother of God 2, Hated Bear Tribe of the East 1 (SO): Danger, man possessed

As Price walked away towards the bench to ready himself for OT, I saw the black cloud return. But it wasn't the same "why me" black cloud that we've seen after every game he plays standing on his head yet still loses. It was the black cloud that formed over his head from the smoke of the fire in his eyes, baby! And as he went into the shootout, gloving down a Blake Wheeler shot and throwing it away like he was saying "take this puck and shove it up your ass, motherfucker", there was no doubt it was going to be a win.

Bergeron misses.

Price makes Recchi's shot dissapear like magic.

WIN!

Who's up for a magic trick?

And 42 saves, protecting a 1 goal lead for 59.5 minutes against a desperate Bruins team that RDS kept reminding us haven't scored in 8.9 periodes of hockey, he once again grabbed the first star and made Team990's morning show sound like a bunch of fucktards.

WOO MOTHERFUCKER WOO!
- Bergeron (not Patrice) will be the death of me.
- Tommy Pyatt! Ryan White! Both fit right in with Big Brother Andrei. Finally, he got some linemates that could keep up and be defensive just in case he fucks up.
- Oddly enough Glen Metropolit was on the ice with him instead to convert on his work for the only goal. Must have been between a line change.
- And Pricey wasn't the only one possessed out there, Andrei was everywhere.
- Finally, finally, finally the guys were playing well around Carey. Still managed to get squirrely near the end though...
- POWERPLAY SUCKS YO! BERGERON YOU'RE NOT HELPING!
- Seriously, waive the man, call up Weber. He was better defensively, has the same shot, costs about the same, and could use the "baptism by fire" method we've been giving to Price and Patches (who's playing like a beast these days...how about that whole shift with the helmet off? Scared me when he willingly took a hit on the glass though).
- Carle was a bit better tonight but what the hell was he doing out there on OT juggling at the blue line, Martin?! Are you trying to kill us?!
- Again MAB on the PK? Martin officially nuked the fridge.
- Gomez on the PK though: DO WANT!
- Please don't be hurt, Spacek. Please don't be hurt.
- Guimauve was meh tonight for the most part. Didn't even see much of his epic board battles.
- Lapierre BLAH BLAH BLAH, hey he wasn't going to fight and waste 5 minutes of his time.
- Please win faceoffs. You owe Price a shutout because of faceoff suck.
- Bruins have swine flu. STAY AWAY! (Ok just Krejci).
- Paul Mara had an epiphany, erased Tuesday's fuck ups. Thank ye Lord!
- Hal Gill is slow, yea, but have you ever watched Chara skate...? Also what happened to him shooting from the point? I thought he fixed his shoulder.
- Chara vs Gio: was waiting for this since he came to town. And it was hilarious!
- As the Bs got frustrated, we saw more of the 4th line. Which was frankly probably the better Bruins line for the most part. Though the pushy shovey between Gorges and Begin ended in giggles.
- Please don't get smoked by Blake Wheeler of all people, Gorges my dear. Jesus Price saves! And gets a head pat by White.
- Only in the IIHF can someone score a goal by passing it through the side of the net guys. Deal with it.
- Intentional offside my ass.
- Hilarity of the night: Someone threw glasses on the ice at the ref. Hey isn't that a penalty? :D
- Bob, please give Pleky a contract extension for Christmas?
- One of Price's best games of his young career, coincidentally landing on win #50.
- Habs mood: COCKY! Price's swagger is infectious. That shootout was short and epic. Fuck the Bruins.

Oh, and because of the win tonight, our Bruins friend Sarah Connors gets to wear the barberpole! And the wager is to raise money for Hockey Fights Cancer.