Exterminate! Annihilate! Destroy! Habs 6 Leafs 2

Fail. It's what you do best.

Especially this time of year...
- The pregame ode to the Mounties with some cop sneaking down from the rafters was ...stupid.
- I gotta say to the idiot reporter yesterday who brought up the thing about the email to hold the safety report on the boat where Gainey lost his daughter, you sir are a douchebag. Double douchie for pressing the matter after Bob said he knew about it already. Anyone got a hockey question?
- Oh. My. Kovalev. My brother: "How the hell did he find a hole there?!" He just does. That is The Kovalev. 1-0
- If the second line can't get anything done, there's always Fruit Punch's line! No one saw Gui walk right in to the net. He's kind of hard to miss! 2-0
- May picks his moments to be a bad ass when frankly he's just a jerk. Could have used another Laraque smackdown. Schneider with a mysterious upper-body injury. Ooooh wonderful...
- Loved seeing Stewie jump the third man to help out BGL though. Excellent game by Laraque tonight. It seems he flourished under the Gainey Regime.
- Gui! is now 2-1 on penalty shots. Too bad.
- 11/13/27 WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
- Yea, Tango's got his Cash. Nice tip in. 3-0
- Gerber is such a baby. Not only was Pleky pushed into him first, the second was accidental as he made his way into position. Higgy finally scores, while Gerber throws a hissy. Never mind how many bumps Jaro took on the other side and didn't cry once. Take your .739 save percentage and maybe pay attention. 4-0
- Lucky tip. (According to my brother). I didn't see it 'cause I was in the WC. 4-1
- Kovy never leaves the ice when it's a powerplay. And why not throw in Gui! and Fruit Punch. Max sneaks in backdoor 5-1
- Excuse me while I have a heart attack but GORGES SCORED FOUR GOALS THIS YEAR NOW! 6-1
- Tango lost his mind. And hands. I was asking for a short handed goal, but I wanted the Habs to score it. 6-2
- Fuck you, Grabs. Second time he gets tossed. And Markov is pissed off on his way to the room for "repairs". He better not be hurt...
- After Markov got hurt, the Habs kind of got wonky. Until Kovy got annoyed, took the puck, went the whole length of the ice, got a shot on net, took the puck back and continued playing until he was forced off the ice for a line change.
- Kovy's night: 1 goal, 3 assists.

Conclusion: No more fucking Leafs til next year. CBC is annoying. First the Habs were killing time and playing lead protection. Second, they were keeping the Leafs to the outside and making sure they stayed there when they were in their zone. And third, go find a new team to cheer for, homers. Also Al Strachan, don't read the gossip papers from Quebec please. Roy never said he wanted to coach the team, he said maybe but not right now. And to cap it all off, Bob should stay coach. He's just amazing to see behind the bench. Muller too.

Bulldogs report!
Dogs put the smack down on the bRed Wings in back to back games. Friday was a 6-3 ass kick with Desharnais getting a hat trick and Brrrrrrrock Trotter scored 9 seconds into the game. And today was a 4-2 win with Trotter scoring the first goal again, and Yanick Lehoux finally scoring and breaking a 15 game goaless streak (though he has scored on shootouts!) as he was behind the net, on his knees and just shot the puck towards the net only to have it bounce in off Jimmy Howard. LOL. Yannick Weber scored in both games. Yay! He's making a new record for a Bulldogs defenseman, and now has 16 goals this year. Ryan Russell scored short handed.

Still in 7th. Yey.
- Fucking Whale, 3-2 OT. Pens get a point though, but the Whale must be stopped!
- Bruins beat the Rags 1-0. Yawn. And Avery is back to his usual self. I wonder how Torts will sounds after having to deal with the guy for an entire season...
- ZOMG Dallas beat the Blues 5-4 in OT. Turco is injured by the way, so ECHL goalie Matt Climie got the tap ahead of Stephan. He takes number 33~!
- Sens beat the Flyers in a shootout. Niittymaki was pissed off.
- Buffalo sees the end is near. Devils win 3-2. Question: How did Kevin Weekes get injured if he's never playing?

Lucky number 7: Habs 5, Islanders 1

Walk in the park, really. Once you crush the Islanders with a few goals they just look for ways to leave, either by penalty or turning invisible. Yann Danis was hoping to turn invisible, but he had to stay.

Chicken wings > fish sticks
- I sometimes wonder who is more boring, the Devils or the Islanders?
- Streit out with a groin injury. Dunno why Okposo wasn't playing either. Doesn't really matter, though. They're trying to out-lose the Avalanche for Tavares.
- According to Komisarek's dad on CJAD, there were about 6000 Islanders fans and 9000 Habs fans, and probably a 100 each from his group and Bobby Higgins' group. And yet despite bringing all that cash to the rink, the doorman confiscated their flags.
- Price had the flu, Jaro had to make an emergency take over. Apparently Price had the flu while playing the Blackhawks too. He seems to play his best games when ailing eh?
- After wandering around testing the waters, the Islanders fell into the powerplay trap. Koivu with a rediculous play in front of the net goes 5-hole while being tackled. Didn't realize he scored.
- Rechlicz wanted to fight Laraque and just stood there. Laraque with the "you gonna do something or not?" move. Wonder if that was mic'ed up...
- 11/13/27! WOOOOO!
- Schneider Play, so early?
- Islanders get power killed, lose all swagger, think about happy days in the summer...
- Schneider's eyebrows make him look like an elf. He's our magic Power Play Elf.
- Dandy on D tonight, but he's so crafty that he freaks out the opposing forwards by switching to forward on the same shift.
- Kovy feeds and feeds and feeds. I think he's up to 60 points now? That barely took a week eh? All you idiots calling for him to KovaLEAVE get the fuck out.
- Tanguay's goal made Brendan Witt a -32.
- Marc Denis drinking the water. Look at Marc Denis drinking the water.
- Heh, Kostopoulos' face when they gave him a penalty shot was priceless. He nearly pulled it off, though.
- Renaud Lavoie had his milk crate with him to talk to BGL. Last time he used it on Price, Price shrunk himself to be shorter.
- Stewie's our clown. I love that kid.
- Dough Weight got bored and decided to fight Metro. Metro didn't flinch, and Weight gave up mid-fight.
- Practiced 3rd period shut down lead protection.
- Two of the three New Yorkers scored. Komisaurus gives us free wings and makes his dad super happy.
- Since there was no harm in trying, Bob had everyone do something new. Even put Dandy on the powerplay.
- I voted for the Caps on RDS' "who do you want the Habs to play" poll. They came out 2nd to the Bruins. BORING!
- Easiest night of Jaro's life.
- Talk about moving the Islanders to Kansas City is sad and wrong. Why this franchise and NOT fucking Phoenix?! Fark you Bettyman. Build the fucking Lighthouse already.

Conclusion: SEVENTH PLACE, WOOOOO! And free wings. Who called it? Yo.

Spring smells
- Carolina helped us beat the Rangers into our old 8th spot. Meh or yay? Either way, Rangers D was HORRENDOUS and just allowed everyone to walk right in for a scoring chance on Stundqvist.
- Boston beat Ottawa. Whatevs.
- Red Wings totally driving Babcock nuts and lose to the Blues 5-4.
- I sniffle as Dallas loses to Calgary.

Night of the Alexes! Habs 6 T(h)rashers 3

It's been so long since we've had the free wings...

THIS is how you're supposed to play messy disorganized teams who haven't a care in the world. Yes, you're supposed to crush them with 3 powerplay goals in a row and make them pay for every sloppy penalty they take. Yes, you're supposed to throw pucks at a shakey goalie who's very breath is inconsistent. Yes, you're still supposed to watch Kovalchuk because he alone can burn you...Breezer. Oh well, it was the way it was supposed to go!

And if you have the puck, you score!
- Shots were finally kept at 25 against. Price goes YAY!
- Tanguay making up for lost time, two goals three assists. Imagine if Artyukhin hadn't squashed his shoulder how many points he would have had?
- Kovy!Kovy!Kovy!
- Ooooh Carey flashing the glove and throwing the mustard. Kovalchuk shots are not easy to catch, as seen on that second goal that had elbow grease on it. He's a rifle with a stick. But when Breezerpalooza strikes on an open Kovalchuk two feet from the net, or Komisaurus gets burned by the after burners of the speedy other Kovy, ZINGA! The babushka holds the borsch, right Sergei Puckzhin?
- Still old friends, Komisaurus tapped Hainsey at the blueline after the first period siren.
- Speaking of Komisaurs: BEST GAME OF THE YEAR FOR No.8! Though you might not want to tackle a guy hitting your goalie by throwing him ON your goalie, ok dear? Cupcakes for Komisaurus!
- Putting Higgins on a shutdown line was the best move anyone could have done for the guy.
- Metroooooo! Craziest goal of the year. Just flipped it point blank right over Lehtonen. What a mind game.
- They were rolling off numbers on the news afterwards and mentioned Metro's terrible faceoff percentage for tonight. But what the numbers didn't say was what was done after a lost faceoff, which was nice to see the guys go after the puck instead of run away. Like what Higgins did when he had to take a faceoff: he forgot the faceoff and ran over the guy to the puck in a non-interference way. The turnover numbers are a concern though... But I did see other players trying to make up and cover for the turnover, which was also not in the numbers.
- Dandy is better as a forward. He always beats those icing calls.
- Koivu's goal was pretty funny. Been a while since we saw one of our guys all alone with the entire net and goalie to himself and NOT miss.
- No one can tell if Gainey is happy or satisfied or something else. Would NOT want to play poker with that man...
- The refs were seriously against us with a few borderline weaksauce penalties. And I'm talking about Koivu's...
- Gorges blocking the shot and playing the rest of his shift in pain. Even the Thrashers' player noticed as they attempted to battle by the front of the net. Three cheers for Gorges as he hobbled to get the loose puck and help clear it and then hobbled to the bench.
- The brothers were trying to find each other all night. Well, more like Andrei trying to keep up with Sergei. Though I gotta say Andrei pulled the coolest move I've seen him do since that first Flyers game. With the Thrashers in our zone, he tosses the man over and takes the puck and then practically goes all the way around the rink with it. Would have been awesome if he had scored from that, but wow. Do that more please?
- Word to the wise, never knee Kovy. Angry Kovy alert! With the delayed penalty he just blasted the puck towards the goal and pinged the crossbar. Then on the powerplay he let it rip and I do believe Lehtonen felt it through all that gear. (Crotch shot).
- Nice to see the boys happy. Pileup in the crease!

Conclusion: Keep it going, boys! Everyone says it's only the Thrashers blah blah blah but these horribly low in the standings teams are beating everyone these days so take the win and the effort that came with it and put Breezer back in the trunk please.

Bulldogs report!
Well still no news whether or not Triston Grant will be suspended for that disgusting act he pulled on Ben Maxwell. To recap, the Bulldogs were down 3-2 after some weakass penalty call again and one of the Admirals players hit Weber after a whistle so Maxwell took offense to it and stood up for Weber. This player then grabbed off Maxwell's helmet and whacked him across the face with it, cutting him! This should have been a big powerplay for the Bulldogs, but instead they only give Grant 5 for fighting and nothing more. Naturally Ron Wilson went ballistic and was almost on the ice, because Maxwell also got a 5 and was now in the room getting stitches. So they give the Dogs an extra two for yelling at the ref. They did toss Grant as there was 5 minutes left anyway but they should have had the extra penalty for the gross misconduct he pulled. So instead of trying to get back the game on a powerplay, they had to defend. Chipper tried scoring shorthanded and Henry spent the rest of the time itching to punch someone. Dogs lost that game in the end and boy would I have loved to have been a fly on the wall in that hallway the Dogs and the ref had to share after the game...

But on to a happier note, Maxwell got a hat trick tonight! And newly sent down Pacioretty nabbed a goal and two assists! They beat down the bCoyotes (hey Garth Murray is there!) 6-1. Dogs gotta fix their shots against though... Denis faced 42 compared to their 28! (Though there were lots of penalties so I'm not surprised). Henry got to punch things twice tonight.

Among other things:
- Just as someone mentioned Osgood turning a page in the book of suck, he goes back to sucking... Red Wings lose 5-3 to Calgary yesterday. Conkblock's in nets now and they come from behind to beat the Oilers 3-2.
- Little Koivu is hurt! And the Wild lose 2-1 to the Rags...
- Stop winning Toronto, please...
- I facepalm at my poor Dallas... Begin appears to have been hurt?
- I finally got myself a Habs tuque. It's not the pompom one I was diligently seeking, but a nice red one that super comfy. I loves it! And it matches my red-and-white snowboarding suit so all the better.

The Bob and a Win: Habs 4, Oilers 3 (OT)

I found this picture best described my feelings towards some people...

You don't deserve this team. No I'm not talking about the players. I'm talking about you, the idiots in the Bell Centre who chanted for "Guy! Guy! Guy!" before the guys took the ice and during the difficult second period despite most of you city-wide armchair GMs calling for his head to roll since the beginning of the season. I'm talking about you, the idiots who BOOED Koivu when ever he had the puck even though he wasn't making errors. I'm talking about you, the idiots on RDS who dirtied this victory with a language issue because now there are FOUR coaches behind the Habs' bench who are anglophone. You who suddenly flinged more dirt on our brave captain and now commenting on how you need subtitles for his english. Do they have a problem with him because of his words on the radio? He didn't toss Carbo under the bus. He was very classy and picked his word carefully like he always does in sticky situations about why Carbo might have gotten cut. It's you who do these things and then wonder why players run away and have great success elsewhere or players refuse to sign here. I say SCREW YOU.

It's Purim, my Jewish name is Ester, and I enjoyed this game with fresh hamantaschens
- Jaro gets the February player of the month! Yay!
- Oh Tanguay, the invisible man. He stands alone in the slot and no one sees him until the red light is on.
- Outshot 23-9 by the second period, only two shots in that second period. But hey, one of those two shots was Metro's first goal as a Hab! Yay Metro! You get a cookie.
- Actually Metro was a beast tonight. He was everywhere. And probably has the best hands any fourth liner ever displayed on this team (except when Kovy was on the fourth line a few times). I would have given him the 3rd star tonight dammit.
- You guys would get more shots on net if you actually HIT the net.
- Stewie continues to make the crowd love him as he took down Stortini the caveman.
- Oi Souray... we love(d) you but crosschecking Tanguay in the face is NOT cool. I totally thought Koivu and you were gonna start fighting.
- More self goalie interference only this time they covered their own errors by getting the puck out of there. Not too successful with that 3rd goal though.
- Thank god there wasn't much meat on that Souray point shot that bounced of Pleky's leg and into the net. Do not want to see Pleky with a broken leg now ok...
- Roloson gets an Oscar.
- Captain Koivu, TWO GOALS. Suck it, bitches.
- And then the team clobbered him in the corner of the rink in victory.
- Demers on TSN looked like he was ready to cry when talking about the fate that befell dear Carbo. He was back to his old self on RDS though.
- I get giddy when I see Lever behind the bench.

Conclusion: Win 1 in the temporary Gainey era. I actually don't think any of the newly hired coaches this season got a win in their first game after replacing a fired individual... Either way, when the Bob speaks the boys listen. TWO HUGE POINTS WOO!

Eastern clusterfuck of doom:
- Fear the might of Steve Mason, Bruins, as he posts his 9th shutout on you. Also their fourth straight road loss. Thomas' mask broke in a collision and he had to use Manny's which is BAD for a goalie. That's like wearing someone elses underwear. Don't you guys have spares?
- Philly slapped the Sabres to keep them away from our points.
- Pens totally just walked into that shootout on Florida. Still had to leave them with one point eh...?
- Lots of overtime games tonight actually... Wings>Yotes, Sharks>Wild, Leafs>Islanders, Caps>Preds
- The world is apparently saved from the evil Jason Sputza and his illegal sticks. What? This wasn't a Stanley Cup Playoff turning point but a 2-1 regular season game between two teams dreaming of Tavares? Wilson is a tool.

SNOW! Habs 4, Flames1

We can't stop here, this is bat country!

A rare appearance by the Calgary Flames?! Oh yes. But they brought a snowstorm with them. So while the Bell Center looked empty for half the game, the place was sold out by people stuck in traffic thanks to our city being retarded with their snow removal. What's a matter... the contract not start yet? I couldn't even get into my driveway. In fact, I listened to half the first period and the beginning half of the 2nd while inching my way home in the snow/sleet/traffic, passing many a stalled or spun-out car or truck. And people were complaining about the snowtire law... Bunch of wankers. You'd think people would know how to handle winter by now? We only get it every year.

Oh the points!
- The very hairy Czech, Robert Lang, must have heard whispers of an unhairy Swede and responded with a 3 point night that included two very needed and proven goals.
- Shoot da puck, score da goal!
- Kovy's one-handed pass behind the net produces more than just a show. He's so sneaky.
- D'Agostini going nani nani fufu as he blocks a shot and dekes the hell out of Kipper for another unassisted goal in his pocket. Well, looks like he'll be the victim for this years rookie dinner.
- SERGEI IS BACK and looking as pissed off as ever. He was great, especially on the PK.
- Tanguay assisting on those flying pucks and just itching to give his old coach a wave.
- Refs are blind. Very blind.
- Why can't Markov do the same slapshot on the powerplay? But all the thanks should go to Kovy for screening Kipper.
- So Markov makes a play to stop Phaneuf who inadvertedly falls over him by turning to get around him and makes it look like kneeing and the Flames try to beat up on Markov. He eventually comes out of the pile with his sweater around his hands and his armor over his head. Back on the bench, Sergei was laughing at him.
- Iginla trying to bait Breezer into a fight at the end and got nothing but a ribbing from the Habs bench. No respect for your elders!
- The look on Price's face as one injured player after another walked by him was that of "OH MY GOD".
- Dandy broke him arm yet finished his shift, without a stick and parked in position in front of Halak to make a defensive play.
- The last thing Higgins needs is a shoulder injury dammit!
- Flames got plenty of good chances and despite the constant flailing in front of Jaro, the rest of the Habs managed to beat them off the puck.
- Ooooo giveaways!
- Sorry, Flames, but this isn't the Rangers.
- Price messing around with Halak after the win.
- Hey wow, we play these guys again in February.

Conclusion: more games like this and the armchair GMs could maybe STFU. And the guy still hasn't come to clean my driveway...

Mini-Soapbox
Who cares about the All-Star Game. It's a place for the players to just relax and have some fun! But I don't get it when people vote for injured players, especially those who have been injured since the beginning of the season. So...I don't get it. I stopped voting for Brendan Morrow the day he went down and concentrated on some Oilers player to go with my Mikko Koivu. At least write in someone that's playing!

Who's got the funk? Habs 3 Sens 2 (SO) Jarkko Ruutu nyaaaaaaaargh

Knob Hockey is funny. Everytime I see Ruutu out there I always go "NYAAAAAAAARGH".

So here we have two teams terrified of losing, playing in the neutral zone for most of the night. And yes, I agree on that disallowed goal was a bad call, but hey, I still say Samsonov's goal was offside. Here's to refs with bad eyes and who probably fell asleep in training class!

Meh, I'll just go to point form:
- I predicted a goalie duel for the sole reason of two teams struggling with the same problems. If one team didn't have the other pinned in their zone, it was all neutral zone trap. Back and forth, wide open pull your hair out, 1-1 hockey. Or in my case, that butter chicken I ate for supper was giving me problems. Thank you for getting those 2 points or I might have lost that delicious supper.
- Priceberg! In a shootout, he is The Man. Well, you'd hope so. He became a national hero with that Canada-USA shootout in the WJC. (Where is Jeff Frazee now? Waiting for Martin Brodeur to retire, but even then he's stuck behind others). And throughout the game, hearing the Carey Chant in another city, even if it's only an hour away, is awesome.
- The Brothers Kostitsyn did a lovely dance into the O-zone late in the 3rd which complete frazzled the O's and soon after set Sergei for a feed to Markov for that shot we've been yelling at him to use. Baddabing!
- It seems that everytime Koivu scores he usually gets thrown into the goalie right after. Are they angry at the captain or their goalie?
- BGL needs to hit more. That check of his makes players shit their hockeypants. Lucky for them, though, he is aware of what his weight against them and the boards will do to people. Squishy... (Hint! Lucic needs a few of those).
- Begin vs Bass in a flurry of punches. Begin got the most, and the takedown. (Not his Judo flip though).
- Gorges love~!
- People rage on Kovy, but really, he's just mystifying with that puck. It's like Jedi mindtricks even when he turns it over after holding it for 2 minutes.
- Hey look, another powerplay goal? Ok, the quota for November was filled last game. I'm shocked.
- Hnnn Sputza, nada. Heater is the one.
- Alfie with the swan dive on Gui! and I give it a 5.9
- I noticed Kostopoulos really puts the breaks on extra when he goes to the corners on a man now. See people? He's no Hollweg!
- O'Byrne is painful. Hamilton, please adopt him for a bit? Teach him the ways once more. The refresher course is needed. I'd send up Belle for a replacement even if he's not as big, he's a bit more sturdy and headstrong and also shoots more from the blueline. (Henry has to pass waivers to come up here so sorry dude).
- Koivu had a paper up on the bench boards. He was explaining some play to Lang and Kovy. And this is one reason why he's our beloved captain.
- Shootout: Sputza actual gets something. Markov with his only move. Tanguay carries it backhanded the entire way. Baddaboom!

Recap: Chuck Norris wouldn't score on Carey Price.


Of course, if they play this way on Saturday, it might be a painful night for St. Pat but maybe we can get a line brawl going in his honor at least. Maybe he'd join in. For old time's sake. In the dressing room hallway. Leaping over the B's coach.

Otherwise. Go Als Go!

Bound to happen after going 12-0: Bruins 6 Habs 1

Could have happened a bit nicer though but that's what happens with the Jekyll and Hyde of Hockey. Only bonus after Koivu being the only one to ninja score (sweet wrap around of fire, that man needs a contract extension) was Kovy's open-ice revenge-check and Lucic cutting his hand as he pounded Komisaurus' helmet. Ya, whatevs.

Lang and an empty net is just as painful as watching Higgins fan pucks. Post not want!

I have a message for our defense: pylons are usually orange.

Speaking of orange, the Flyers are in town Saturday. Sigh...