Habs 2, Caps 3 (SO): Turkey

Hey Budaj. Stay in your net. You're not Carey Price.

Anyway, other than that, who the fuck puts a FRIDAY game at 5pm where one team is Canadian?! You know we already had our Thanksgiving. So while we're stuck in the Metro, or on a bus, or in traffic, we can't watch the team we cheer for.

Also while we eat. And I was out eating dinner, the game was on the tiny little TVs hanging from the ceiling. I did see this...

KNEEL BEFORE LARS!

I also saw Pleky and Galchy not score, while that little shit Grabovski did what I'm always yelling at guys to do in the shootout (ie. JUST SHOOT). Oh well.

Hey speaking of little shits, it's Leafs tomorrow. Can you see my excitement? It's also Toaster's birthday.

Habs 3, Sabres 1: Suffering SUCKotash

The Sabres are so bad that they even lost to a sleepwalking Habs team. In other words, Habs played down to their competition and still came out with the win. But there's only so many ways I can tell you how much they sucked... So, let's play Where on the Ice is Grigorenko!

Actually never mind. Didn't even notice he was playing.


Meanwhile Lars Eller showed everyone how it's done by mesmerizing Ryan Miller then passing it to Markov who shot it into a wide open net. They gave the goal to Galchenyuk because it apparently grazed his jersey.

I think we'll call this Buffalowned.

Also if PK Subban can kindly teach Diaz how he grabs the puck and fires it out of the zone whilst on the penalty kill, it would reduce my stress level immensely. NO ONE does it better than PK. But he's a defensive liability right guys? Right.

By the way, Buffalo sucks so much they gave the 3rd star to Drew Stafford. How hilarious is that?

Habs 3, Pens 2: Whine and cheese

Whilst out celebrating my mom's 60th birthday, Habs were taking on the Penguins. Or, as I like to call it, PK Subban annoying Sidney Crosby forever.

- It's Pacioretty Week! Two more goals!
- Eller and Galchenyuk are being wasted by Prust. Sure Prust is a great energy guy, but he's not Gallagher. The least you could do is rotate a double shift of Gallagher, Pacioretty, and Bournival.
- When the Penguins waste opportunities early (ie. gifted powerplays) they turn into the whiniest whinebags ever and frustrate themselves into a hole.
- Fleuuuuuuryyyyyyyy.
- Did you know D'Agostini is a Penguin? I just remembered.
- Also just remembered Chocula is an assistant coach. That's pretty funny, considering what happened in 2010...
- Carey Price > Fleury
- By like a hundred thousand miles. And kilometers.
- Pleky beating Crosby on the faceoff matchup. All. Night. Long.
- Gionta pissing Crosby off. All. Night. Long.
- Ya I can't even blame Fleury for that 2nd Pacioretty goal. That release was ridiculous.
- You know what happens when you've got 3 minutes left in a game, and you were doing so well matching up lines and then you THROW OUT BOUILLON-DIAZ whilst Malkin-Neal are on the ice? You get two pylons and a goal against.
- So if PK is "too risky" for Team Canada, what the fuck is Letang?
- Meanwhile Team Russia is looking for some loophole to put Subban on their team.
- Not really, but they should.

I remember hearing how Habs will drop both these games on the radio. Please keep saying that so the opposite will happen, thanks.

 Peter Budaj, stealing yer stick

Habs win, Bulldogs win

I plunked down $60 and ended up a few feet from the glass at the Bulldogs-Crunch game. Two tickets, $60, near the line of fire of all the pucks. Actually one puck deflected off the top of the glass, through the netting and off some little kid's head. Oh he was fine, he got a puck and was super happy about it.

My phone kept me up to date with the Habs game. And they were kind enough to put it on the jumbotron between periods.

Go Team Blunden!

Habs 6, Wild 2: How to break your slump

It was boring defensive crap so Prust took out a sword and cut up Konopka.

And hopefully not going into another. Remember, last time the Habs destroyed the Wild 8-1, they got shut out in the next 3 games.

Habs took a gamble to break their slumps.

- "Therrien reunites last year's most productive line" by breaking up this year's most productive line. You can count your lucky stars it worked.
- As much as I think fighting is dumb, I totally advocate punching Konopka.
- Should have taken on Matt Cooke too.
- Who's still a piece of shit.
- If Chara didn't attempt to murder Pacioretty, Pacioretty would have been seriously injured on what is now a rounded end stanchion.
- It also woke up Pacioretty.
- I don't care how many minutes Suter plays. When your other options are Spurgeon, Scandella, Stoner...yea you'll play Suter as much as you can.
- The Wild were playing tighter than a Ken Hitchcock trap. It took a goal off Pacioretty's foot to get them spiraling into disarray.
- Which of course prompts the usual "Wild didn't show up" crap. Bulllllshit.
- And then Pacioretty scored a natural hat trick.
- If you analyze PK Subban's low accurate hard shot, you can see why Team Canada wouldn't want that. It's too fucking good for them.
- Pominville: population none. Once Harding was pulled, even he disappeared.
- Kuemper is a terrible goalie. Habs should have fired pucks like mad at him.
- The way Bournival did for his goal. Turn. Shoot.
- Regardless, Habs were finding new ways to blow Price's stats down the toilet. One was by pushing the guy into the puck and into the net!
- Dany Heatley still exists. Apparently.
- Hey Wild, would it kill you to play Dumba?
- Galchenyuk worked for an extra half hour after practice on his wrist shot. Scored on his wrist shot.
- I would kill to hear a mic'd up Galchenyuk trash talking.

See what happens when you have a competent fourth line? Moen-White-Bournival. Keep it like that. Also Bourque can stay out with that lower body injury.

Hat tricks and the Minnesota Wild eh?

Habs 0, Rangers 1: Was the party that great in Columbus?

I know Desharnais scored the shootout winner last night to win the game in Columbus but did you guys over-celebrate it or what? Yea I'd probably save the champagne for when he scores a goal with other players on the ice, as opposed to the CLEAR EVERYONE version.

Sigh. Another wasted Carey Price effort. Another loss. And right now, the play of Rene Bourque has me pinning for Benoit Pouliot. IT'S THAT BAD!

Only goal support he's going to get.

Habs 3, Lumbus 2 (SO): Obviously

Columbus "scores" two garbage goals in the first, one off Gorges' skate and another that shouldn't have counted due to incidental contact. Galchenyuk scores a gorgeous goal to end the first and Eller bangs home a rebound on the powerplay in the second. Both teams dick around for the rest of the game. PK Subban skates circles around everyone in OT only to have Markov turn the puck over. Galchenyuk make a hilarious fuck up in the shootout. Lumbus sends out some guys I have no idea who. (Sure as hell ain't no Rick Nash anymore). Desharnais does the only thing he's really good at now: scores in the shootout.

TAKE THE POINTS AND RUN.

My eyes are still hurting from squinting with how terrible this game was filmed. Shame on you, Lumbus. Get some real cameras.

Habs 1, Lightning 2 (SO): So soff

 Dey soff.

Carey Price vs the Lightning. And a few other guys appeared to help.

- Jon Cooper looks like Marty McFly.
- Hey everyone! Let's watch that Stamkos injury some more! In five different angles! And in super slow mo.
- Carey Price.
- Carey Price? Carey Price.
- Did I mention Carey Price? Carey Price.
- Carey. Fucking. Price.
- And PK Subban had almost 30% of the Habs total shots.
- I would have had more shots than the Habs, but I'm out of booze and waiting for my parents to bring me more from Jamaica.
- Bourque dumped the puck, but it never crossed the red line. Instead, he rolled his eyes and went to the bench while the Lightning had a rush beck the other way and hit the post.
- Hey jackasses. You don't know the fucking rules? READ THE FUCKING RULES. Incidental contact means NO FUCKING GOAL. Shut the fuck up you stupid SunSports jokes.
- Cheering for Daniel Briere makes me ill. But if the puck goes in I'll be happy. Scored with his crotch.
- Epic OT penalty kill.
- Ben Bishop is 6'7" with a 5ft five hole. Sure, go glove side. Three. Times.
- Actually Price got the 5 hole by angrily flinging the puck down the ice all the way into Bishop's net. He apologized.
- I order the Habs to watch 500 YouTube videos for inspiration in shootouts. Or next time pick up Linus Omark when he's on waivers. Oilers won't care.

Out worked. Out shot. Out everything. Da fuq are you doing, Habs? Another wasted effort by Carey Price, who probably has the best save percentage coupled with a .500 record in the League.

Habs 4, Islanders 2: Kiss it

Now, can we please stop breaking up this line and leave Parros benched? Thanks. And yes, Denis Coderre, I've been on the "send Desharnais to Hamilton" for months now. No one will pick him up on waivers.

Habs 1, Sens 3: Derp

I give up. Should have set off the fire alarm earlier.

Habs 2, Blues 3 (SO): Throw another pie in his face

For once, just once, I would like someone to ask Therrien some tough questions. Are media members afraid of him? Are they concerned they'll piss off their old RDS buddy? Does he need the kid gloves, spilless, and spork?

Let's try one.
"What was your thinking in shortening your bench only after you had repeated your errors from Friday's game by allowing the 4th line out randomly in the 3rd where they got scored on, again, when you had the lead? Was that not too late?"

Another one:
"You were given one powerplay with the game tied. Why was Martin St-Pierre given more time on this powerplay over Galchenyuk, Gallagher, Eller, Pacioretty, Bourque and Plekanec? Was this not a good moment in the game to go for the kill?"

Maybe one more:
"Was there any reason as to why PK Subban was essentially benched with the game tied and three minutes til overtime for Bouillon and Murray?"

Guess it was ok to ask these things and hang these blown 3rd periods on Jacques Martin. Get some balls, press. Or get Jessica Rusnak back in there.

By the way, I don't give a rat's ass about breaking the shot blocking record. "I know one thing, when you're blocking a lot of shots, the puck's in your end a lot." Ken Hitchcock said that after the game. I think he knows something about hockey.

Also I'm tired of "giving the other team credit". You're in your home. You were up 2-1. Fuck them. You put your fourth line out, and Parros is too slow to get to the guy on the point. Bang. Puck bounces off 4 elbows past Price who was standing on his fucking head to get you a win against a top team.

This is why this team will be a pretender: shit coaching will be their undoing.

Habs 1, Avalanche 4: My what fantastic high draft picks you have

Yea it pays to leech off the top of the draft for a few years. Just imagine a few Galchenyuks on the Habs. That's basically the Avalanche.

Suck to win!

- Retiring a grand number like 52 just seems odd. Also seems like a "they gave me this number out of camp" number. Or a "I combined 5 and 2 because I used to wear those and they were both taken" number.
- I can't send enough flowers to the Eller line that would fully express my love for them.
- Sucking thin air.
- The Avalanche have FIVE guys in the net. FIVE. You could put a block of wood in there.
- That's fronting done fairly properly. Basically not enough room to do shit so the guys at the point can shoot all they want and pray something bounces in. But get close enough together and the puck won't bounce to the hidden open man like last night.
- Pretty sure there were too many players on the ice when Landeskog took the puck and scored but HAHA who am I kidding.
- These refs are fucking morons. Ok don't call the first trip on Pacioretty but the punch to the back of the head was a fucking joke. And of course they scored right after that.
- Giguere is not a god of goaltending. He was tossing rebounds left and right. Mostly Bourque just skated over them. STICK ON THE ICE!
- I hate you filet desert. Especially when the puck does not go into you.
- Gallagher was absolutely possessed. Fitting it was he who cashed in on PK's perfect wrister to the net.
- Looks like DD has reached the end of his rope. Benched in the 3rd. Galchenyuk took the center position between Gallagher and Pacioretty.
- Speaking of Pacioretty, I was thinking his return in a game with thin air might not have been the best. But then normal Pacioretty showed up in the 3rd for a bit.
- Yup. Apparently the ref has to explain to the crowd that the high stick was not a penalty because Bourque had shot the puck and therefore it was a follow-through and not a penalty. Maybe just hand out rule books at the door?
- Seriously. They're a rather stupid crowd. I'm sorry.
- Everyone will pile on PK for that giveaway behind the net but you know what? No one will pile on Markov basically waiting for the puck to come to him. O'Reilly never stopped moving.
- Probably no one will pile on Bouillon for that lazy fucking attempt to clear for a change which was basically him leaving the puck at the red line and just going "oh well" then stepping off the ice while play went back to their own zone...
- Hey Therrien. You lost the game. I don't ever want to see the fourth line out on the ice like that. That's not how we do things.

Take your thin air and suck on it.

Habs 3, Wild 4: Coaching a loss

Hey coach. I know you like those fourth line guys and all, but not noticing the pattern pretty much cost you the game. They're on the ice, they get scored on. You benched them after the 2nd goal, then allowed them back out in the 3rd just as your team was rolling fine with 3 lines and boom, another goal against. That one was particularly terrible because of the terrible lack of attempt to backcheck on Parros' part and the statue-like attempt by Murray on the passer.

And then we get to watch Frankie Bubbles just stand around while the puck bounces to an open Pominville. C'est pathetique.

- Lars Eller, Alex Galchenyuk, and Brendan Gallagher are just so beautiful.
- With Markov and Subban, we're talking glorious.
- Too bad they can't play all game...
- NO ONE LIKES YOU POMINVILLE. POPULATION 1.
- Seriously fucking cherry picker.
- I can't wait for Briere to return so Leblanc can go back to Hamilton, SAID NO ONE EVER.
- Just look at him! You can't tell me this team is better with Briere.
- Though at this rate, maybe he can also just replace Desharnais...
- Bournival is also fantastic. All he missed was a goal tonight.
- PK goal? Big Karl on my TV!
- Seeing the dads all up in the stands watching their boys was just great. Too bad the coach had to fuck it all up.
- I have a suggestion: Play Douglas Murray at home, play Greg Pateryn on the road.
- Do it.
- JJD's stupid "fronting" defence is what happened on the winning goal. It was equally dumb because the puck could have just as easily bounced off Bubbles and in.
- What makes it worse is it was right after a killer shift by Markov showing WHY he should be a Hab for life. Even falling on his butt he still made an amazing play.
- The game needed more TV time of the dads. PapaPK, PapaGallagher, PapaGionta, and PapaBournival got some TV though.
- Let's go Wi~ld!
- Dudes, your team's name is one syllable. What is that chant?
- PK protecting that empty net because he's such a defensive liability guys!

Josh Harding is probably the best story in hockey. That said the Habs deserved better tonight. If not for their own inept coaching decisions, they probably would have taken this game. And tomorrow it's off to Denver to dance dizzying with Patrick Roy. I hear Pacioretty might be back. I'm also taking my family out for dinner. Thinking I'll enjoy that way more...