Millionaires VS. Billionaires

How I picture most of the owners

So you think there will be a lockout.

And with the horrible PR battle going on, it sounds more and more like there will be one. However, every which way Gary Bettman tries to spin it, his side isn't exactly getting much support like last time.

Last time, the concept of salary caps and such was new. Players gave in to everything the owners wanted. This time it's different. We've seen how the League operated since that lockout. How owners allowed their GM to fork out ridiculous money to many players who didn't deserve it. This isn't the players doing. The League created this environment. The GMs created a crazy market where a player's value has gone off the deep end. And you know what? The players deserve it.

The League has turned a blind eye to all it's warts. The concussions. The dumping of professionals into the minors because their contracts are far too bloated in contrast to their performances. The lack of action on headshots or fighting. And don't get me started on the old boy's club of collusion. The professional hockey player only has this to do: play hockey. His window is, for the most part, extremely small. It can be fantastic and it can be stressful. It can result into incredible highs and create depressing lows. The enforcers are already a dying breed, and many of them are actually dying. Player safety and protection is of little concern to the League they play for. Frankly the players deserve the money they make because there is no League without them. They worked so hard to get to this point, their families sacrificed much, their childhoods were spent for the most part in gyms and on the ice, preparing, striving to be the best of the best...and they shouldn't get paid for it?

I'm not talking Dan Ellis problems. Though with a 24% rollback on salaries, he really won't be able to afford those new rims on his BMW.

Considering how much a fucking BASEBALL player makes for mostly sitting on his rear in the clubhouse, why shouldn't a hockey player make the money he does? This isn't the pond down the street. This is the professional league, and the entertainment business. The hits are as brutal as football, at double the speed. They're running around a slippery enclosed area with nothing but a small door to escape from with razorblades strapped to their feet and blocks of plastic covering their shoulders and elbows, blocking a little round piece of  frozen rubber that reaches the same velocity as a rifle, while getting hacked and poked at with sticks. The players get popular with fans and make a shitload of cash for the League from a marketing standpoint in merchandising sales (I mean 30 fucking bucks for a t-shirt!)... Add in overpriced beer and overpriced food from an average set of about 18-thousand people for 82 games per team?

It's not the players fault half the franchises are floundering. It's not the players fault great teams like Chicago and Washington can't crack any profits. It's not the players fault the Floridas, the Phoenixes, and their ilk have to gussy up the deals to get butts in the seats, adding in extras like free gas on top of the four pizzas and four drinks. Is it the players faults teams give tickets away for free?

The bottom line is, Gary: YOUR GRAND PLAN HAS FAILED. And now we're going to lose out on our favourite game because you're a pig-headed fuckface and your greedy rich friends have failed their teams by mismanaging them. They whine about uber-contracts WHILE GIVING THEM OUT THEMSELVES (looking at you Minnesota and Philly). The contradictions are above and beyond and you're not winning this. And hey the players have been very reasonable in their measured response to your ridiculous proposals, but it's YOU who said there will be a lockout while the players were more than happy to continue under the old deal until the new one gets done.

Of course, only the NHL can somehow manage to still get their money from NBC despite not having any hockey to show for it. Talk about sneaky. Mind you, NBC probably would show the games on delay anyway. What's a missing year for them?

How about this proposal: NO ONE GETS PAID UNTIL THE DEAL GETS DONE. That includes your 8-million dollar salary, Troll Gary.

While you were tweeting or sleeping...

Or giggling over Dan Ellis' latest freakout over twitter twats taking the piss on his tweets about "you don't know what it's like to make a million dollars and have escrow" even though he's playing for a team that benefits from the League's handouts (and is I guess essentially paying himself to play hockey?)... Pierre Gauthier and staff were still hard at work when no one was looking and finally snagged something away from Steve Yzerman for once! Well, sort of.

Ok, so it's only Jeff Halpern, who's essentially a cheaper/younger Dominic Moore/Glen Metropolit with weak knees and no speed. But who needs speed when you're taking faceoffs or standing in front of a goalie eh?

He also doubles as Steve Staios' cape!

My brother later gave me his astute observation on this signing by telling me he went to two news sources: one English, one French. English one said Halpern will help the Habs depth with his veteran status and hockey nerd attitude. The French one called him a useless bum. I've determined he's a safety who gave Habs fans something new to gripe about. And shana tova! He's a fellow Jew from Potomac (where my uncle lives). This gives the Habs as many Jews on the team as Chez Nous Boys. Waiting for Bertrand Raymond to start blaming "money and ethnics" in 5...

On a scale of 1-to-5 Floating Creepy Pierre McGuire Heads (on my McGuire Drool Factor scale), I give him a 3.