Habs 3, Leafs 5: Why bother..

Kind of tired of doing a recap of the same damn thing, are you? I'm getting tired of watching the same damn thing too.

This time it was Desharnais-Pacioretty-......PARROS?! What the flying fuckula Therrien? Too much crack in Toronto? Naturally that fine display of coaching stupidity cost them a crucial goal against. (That and Emelin-Markov looking like they never played hockey in their lives).

On a night where Bernier look crazy beatable to boot. Slow clap, Therrien. Gold star. Are we really worried about what the Leafs were planning in regards to avenging the embarrassment they felt months ago at a silly little goal celebration? Apparently Bernier pointed to that as to why they won the game. (Sure bud, got it).

I guess the Leafs are 6 years old. And Therrien is an idiot for complying.

Also really what was the point of calling up Nattinen if Therrien couldn't "trust" him (over Parros) to play more than minute. If you were that worried, why didn't you call up Louis Leblanc? For a need at center on the fourth line? YOU PUT LARS ELLER ON THE WING. Even with the flu, double shift him! He looked fantastic despite his illness. But Lars Eller is a center. C-E-N-T-E-R. One shift on wing, one shift at center. What a concept. Or you know, if you really needed someone to fill in for Ryan White with his mysterious injury, CALL UP DUMONT.

With Galchy out for a few weeks I'm suprised these idiots didn't call up Tarnasky.

Habs. You make no sense.

Habs 3, Leafs 4: Me and hockey are done professionally

I'm sick of seeing Therrien mismanage this bench. I'm sick of seeing Markov vomit all over the ice. I'm sick of seeing Frankie Bou Bou Bambi leg his way to kicking another assist for the visiting team. I'm sick of Diaz shooting at the stars. I'm sick of PK Subban barely getting any penalty kill time. I'm already sick of Danny "Gomez 2.0" Briererererere. Desharnais's preseason was a ruse. Without Price in nets this game is 6-2 in the first half! AND WHAT THE FLYING FUCK IS DESHARNAIS AND PACIORETTY DOING ON THE PENALTY KILL?!

EXPLAIN.

Did I mention it's only game one?

I'm also sick of seeing another player carted off the Bell Centre ice after dropping his blood all over the place. Today's unlucky man was George Parros. He played a pretty good game. He threw his weight around. He nearly scored a goal. He had already punched Colton Orr in the face earlier. Neither of these guys have very good balance though. So naturally when Orr tumbled on himself dragging Parros down with him in their second tussle, Parros landed face first. My initial reaction was "OMG he just broke his neck" considering the force and the way he fell. Either way, face first on the ice is not a fun feeling. I was hit by a large snowball that was basically embedded with ice right in the face when I was 4. I saw it coming at me in slow motion. When I saw what happened to Parros, I saw that ice ball again. Much like when I tripped over a skateboard and fell head first onto the concrete curb. Slow motion and helpless. You can't do anything to avoid it. You just see this hard surface coming at your face. Parros' eyes were vacant and scary. Though he was moving, it still brought me little comfort that he was alright.

Which brings me to another thing. Tinordi and Ashton were having a disagreement in the corner. (Not a wise choice by Ashton, who got destroyed and then yelled at Tinordi for destroying him). This was your typical heat of the moment fight. I have no problem with that. Do your stuff, don't kill each other, and go sit int he box. However, Coach, STOP PLAYING THEIR GAME.

When the Canadiens play their game of speed and skill, they win. Example: Eller's line and their body of work tonight headed by our best player on the ice who ended with 2 goals and an assist. (Lars, who again, had less ice time than Desharnais). When the Habs play their game, whistle to whistle, turn the other cheek, skate and PLAY HOCKEY, they usually win. Usually by a shutout too. When they line up ready for a fight and play right into the other team's game, THEY LOSE.

Also enough with the Frankie Bou Bou. Enough with the Diaz. If a defenseman is going to play like an AHLer, PLAY A FUCKING AHLer.

And KNEEL BEFORE LARS.

Habs 4, Leafs 1: THE BEARDS ARE COMING

Sweet HNIC tears. Your anguish sustains me. Especially after that stomach turning pre-game stuff.

Lars Eller, who LOVES playing against this team proclaimed after the game, "We do not fear anyone." CBC seems to think so! Apparently they've never watched them play the Big Bad Bruins. And now with Eller centering the Gallys, Habs have struck gold.

Jarred Tinordi, your hired. Please stay.

Memo to Carlyle: you're a fucking fuckwit with a shitbag full of goons and sending out Colton Orr with 13 seconds left proves you're a fucktard. And nice of your Captain to crosscheck White from behind while he was busy giving Orr the hairy eyeball after the buzzer. COWARDS. Ditto for your other goon Frazer McLaren, who third manned on Tinordi after taking a boarding call which got him tossed from the game. No one cares for your stupidity. Go to the NAHL if you want to play that shit.

Lars Eller with two assists had more points in the second period than the Leafs had shots on goal.

See you in the playoffs, fuckers.

(Maybe).

(Unless the Bruins put Tuukka Rask's milk crates in nets and throw their

game tomorrow just to have the fun in beating your ass in four).

(Which is entirely possible).

Habs 1, Leafs 5: Meh

Everyone head for the bridge!

Joke.

Habs got their X. Leafs still don't have theirs.

By the way, Kirk Muller is a Hab for life. Bruins lost to the Whalercanes. Which means Habs can lose all evening. They still remain in 2nd.

According to Bouillon, Price apologized to the team after the 1st period but he wasn't the only one to blame. Whole team just looked like they were happy polishing that X next to their position on the standings. And after the last 6-0 loss to the Leafs, Habs went on an absolute tear. Frankly I'm glad this happened 'cause they've been playing SHIT defensively lately (even before Emelin got hurt) and the forwards have been LAZY helping (especially DD/Patches) so maybe this is the wake up they need. And maybe, just maybe, one day Therrien will learn to gameplan the Leafs properly. Remember, he was fired after another seriously horrendous set of loses to the them with the Pens. Bad memories?

I can still point and laugh at the Leafs though 'cause LOL Davis Drewiske scored the only Habs' goal. And Leaf fans can't fucking olé for shit. POSERS.

Where's your parade route?

Habs 5, Leaf 2: Bite me

AIR GUITAR!

Harlem Shake is the Leafs' goal song.

Gorges is retweeting some chatter about someone wishing he were hotter than he is.

And Price is tweeting about Duck Dynasty.

Hockey jumped the shark.

Do I need to remind you Michael Ryder is a Hab again?
- You know what sucks? THIS FUCKING SLUSHSTORM.
- Why the flying fuck is Colton Orr playing 15 minutes? With Kadri? With more ice time than Kessel and JVR? Oh right, Carlyle thinks goons = wins.
- It's because of that, Mike Douchechops Brown's hit from behind on Gorges was a 5 and a toss instead of a 2. Yes, I think he was tossed simply to send a message to the bench to quit their shit now.
- Once again, Dion Phaneuf goes after things smaller than him and runs from Prust. But really, Gallagher doesn't give a crap who you are, he will skate through you and will usually end up under your goalie in the net.
- Which prompted a hilarious thing! CTV's Brian Wilde mentions a prayer for Gionta to teach Gallagher how to avoid dangerous situations. I totally disagree with this, as this is not in Gallagher's DNA. And anyway if you've watched Gally play most of his hockey life, teaching him to avoid danger is ridiculous and would kill his game (in any case, he knows what he's doing). Long story short, my disagreeing with his statement prompted Tennis Man to bite my fucking head off for being "contrarian on every bloody thing", of which I politely did not appreciate and clarified I'm merely disagreeing with his statement because Gally can take care of himself thank you very much. Plus, teaching him to go do the complete opposite of what made him an NHLer? Yea that's smart... In any case, he has deleted his side of the small exchange and probably blocked me like the insecure twat he appears to be. It's called a Twitter exchange. Deal with it or get off. (ie, Bite me).
- By the way, the Phaneuf hit on Gallagher? Gallagher stayed on his feet while Phaneuf tumbled over. Remind me who knocked Georges Parros on his ass in Florida? OH YEA, Gallagher.
- Still, some progress: Scrivens didn't attack Gally this time.
- Both goals against were total fails in coverage. You just can't stop skating guys...
- So Patches gets two glorious chances on the 5 minute major, misses both (including an absolutely abandoned net). PK breaks his stick on a shot, Scrivens bounces the rebound off Patches' leg and in. Typical.
- Though Patches made up for it on a Kovalev-esque shot after little DD out-muscled Phaneuf to get him the puck. (Suck it Phaneuf).
- Penalty shot: denied. Maybe next time Grabs should try biting the puck.
- Somewhere, Tyler Bozak is still bitching about losing the faceoff clean to DD on Gally's goal. YOU LOST THE DRAW. Deal with it.
- Every time I saw a Habs goal, I saw JVR float by after it. It was the only time I noticed JVR, really.
- When Emelin scores, I get real happy.
- And Gionta adds the rare empty netter for free wings!

So, Gallagher gave Ryder his number back and took his old 11 on. Happily took his number 11. Then again, Gallagher is basically synonymous with happy.

Suck it Leafs.

Habs 0, Leafs 6: A recipe

Why stop at just chomping on Pacioretty's arm, Grabovski, when you could clearly eat the whole team. Allow me to cook up a recipe for you.

Montreal Canadiens Cupcakes
- 24 Cups
- 12 Forwards
- 6 Defenceman
- 1 Goalie
- 1 Peel of Tim
- 3 Sprinkles of idiocy
- 2 Cups of Coaches
- 4 Bags of bad line combinations
- A handful of misconducts
- 3 fighting majors
- 10lbs of difference
- 1 shot to the knees
- Add sluggishness to taste
- A splash (or two, or three) of rum

Preheat TV at 633, or 606 en maudit anglais.

In a mixer, gently blend all of the above. Pour it into the cups.

Bake for 3 hours of suck or wait until it's really bad. Don't bother transferring to a cooling rack. Just BITE!

Meanwhile...
I'm told the Leafs just won the Cup. My super secret spy hamsters captured this image of it's presentation.

Drink up.

The curtain rises, and Les Glorieux fall 2-1 to the Blue Foliage

Snow fell gently on a city brimming with excitement. They're back! Les Glorieux have finally been released from the dark shackles Count Bettman forced upon them. Half a season in the dark. The men scattered about the globe, some like mercenaries lending their abilities to whomever would have them, some returning to their homelands for work. Many played for charities, reminding us that no matter how high on the pedestal they rest they still remain fine upstanding citizens.

And down to the city center of sport. The Legends passed the torch, calling us to a new season. The team was joined by a bright young newcomer, the young prince Alex Galchenyuk. Tonight he would make his debut with his family watching, as Les Glorieux would fight the Blue Foliage of Toronto. A new era was beginning.

But the contest looked the same as years past. The warriors were sloppy, the defenders somewhat unsure. Missing was the fantastic young PK Subban, without question the team's best defender and future bright star but still without his contract and unable to join. The gritty muckers pounced the Keeper of the Blue Foliage, and got penalized for it. One after another, another penalty, another penalty. For most of the game, not much happened. Young Galchenyuk showed us his fantastic shot, but not much else went right for the team. We can be thankful for the work of the Keeper Price. Despite a minor tweak in his leg he was fantastic. Especially considering he was hunting coyotes only a few weeks ago. And yet despite his fantastic performance, the powers above neglected him a game star.

However Les Glorieux fell short by 1, with the Blue Foliage besting them by 2. In the first contest of the season there is much work to be done. Meanwhile the Blue Foliage are probably planning their parade already...

A quick glance around the League:
- Tthe Kings raised their crown, but fell to the Blackhawks 5-2.
- The Jets were grounded by the Senators 4-1.
- The Capitals were bewildered by Lightning 6-3.
- The Panthers chased Keeper Cam Ward and blew out the Hurricanes 5-1.
- The Winged Wheel are currently desperately trying to convince their retired captain to return as they were blasted 6-0. And Keeper Jaro made a mere 14 saves in total.
- It's currently 6-2 for the Mighty Ducks over the Canucks. Keeper Schneider was pulled in favor of Keeper Luuuuuu.

Habs 1, Leafs 3: I can hear the sighs from here...

Thirty minutes does not make a hockey game, guys. I can hear Price sighing from here. Even in this loss his save percentage actually gets better. Which means DO YOUR FUCKING JOBS, GUYS. Not even going to waste my time bitching about Ca-Ka again...

It's too bad because that was a lovely fan-made mask for Price for the yearly contest. Last fan-mask I think the Habs were shutout 3-0...

Oh and Erik Cole is awesome but I think y'all know that. Also I think Staubitz was whistling while he was fighting.

But you know what? I'm cool with this right now. Well no I HATE it when they lose to the Leafs... Mostly I'm so bouncing off the walls happy to announce that I got myself a puppy! YES! My own puppy! And a friend for Ziggy when we got visit. (Well he'll have to go to my parents house a few times a week anyway since my dad's retired and I'm at work). It was kind of a spur of the moment thing. My mom told me about these gorgeous dogs at Nature (where we got Ziggy). I wanted to see them. Seriously fell in love with the little guy. He was all kinds of cuddles and love! Initially I was interested in the Cockaliers that were there. (Oh my god they were so beautiful). But I kept going back to this little guy... He's a Teckel-Chihuahua and will only be about 8 pounds max. I think he might be smaller though. As of now he's only 4 months old. Seems to play well with other dogs and apparently loves the cats too.

When we left, he was cuddling his big brother. They know they'll be leaving each other soon. The lady told me his brother was sold a half hour before I got there, so at least they both have homes now!

I'm going to name him Toaster.

He started taking a nap on my mom's shoulder

Since Pleky died, it's been real quiet in here. I can't wait to bring the little guy home... My mom says he's the size of a guinea pig. So right now I'm busy puppy proofing my apartment, which is also a great excuse to clean out the place big time. Seriously freaking out though because I don't know where I'm going to put his cage... I think my room might be the only place.

Habs 3, Leafs 1: Nothing else matters

The season might suck. The playoffs might be a faint hope. Even a good pick might be a stretch. (I mean, have you seen the Wild or Sabres play recently)? But when all else fails, just beat the fucking Leafs! Bonus: no free points were given out.

And it was a weird game. The Habs looked like they were feeling the back-to-back, but the Leafs looked even more haggard. Then the ACC started falling apart to the point where the staff should have been penalized for delay of game... It was a tie game from the first but after the delay, Diaz returns to bang in the winner and Eller squeaks in his 10th (!!!!) for the dagger. Carey Price got elbowed in the head by Kadri but still kept with the play like nothing happened. Pretty sure CBC was still fellating the Leaf long after the triple low five.

Apparently Healy was bitching about the Habs 2004 draft class being shit. No mention on the Leaf's version. Since his hair probably gets in the way of his ability to think:

- Habs 2004 draft class has a combined 960 NHL games, where four guys are currently in the regular lineups of their teams. Only Emelin is currently with the Habs after spending plenty of time in the KHL. One member of that draft class currently plays for the Leafs (Grabovski).

- Leafs 2004 draft class has a combined 54 games. None of them are in the NHL.

It's important to do the research.

But enough of that. Congrats to Rene Bourque on his first goal with the Habs! Also a Diaz goal means INTERVIEWS~! *swoon*

Habs 0, Leafs 2: I waited 4 months for that?!

Seriously, I'd rather go back to kissing my toilet for 2 hours...

Game summary? Habs came late to the game, warmed up for the first period, sent extremely light and fluffy shots at Reimer, then completely forgot how to play hockey until the final minute of play. Meanwhile, Toronto plans the parade.

I'm in a right foul mood, been sick all week, and all I've eaten was mashed potatoes:
- Can I really be happy for Lombardi? Maybe. But he is a Leaf. Also what the fuck do you expect when you give up a shorthanded 2-on-1 and TAKE OUT YOUR OWN FUCKING GOALIE?!
- About the only really awesome play for the Habs as a whole was their penalty kill.
- Never thought it was possible for Don Cherry to appear any more moronic than tonight. Seriously unreal.
- Reimer got bailed out more than Wall Street. I'd protest that.
- Darche and Desharnais were about the only forwards that looked like they gave a fuck.
- SHAME! HANG YOUR HEADS IN SHAME!
- Or line up against the wall so Price can take a full swing at all of you, starting with the Toronto peeps.
- Seriously, he deserves so much better...which is why it's so frustrating how little respect he gets from those who hand out awards.
- Too many men on the ice count at 1.
- Campoli was attacked by the ice, did something to his hamstring, out some 4 weeks, and all I could think of was "hey, that COULD have been Markov..."
- Someone apparently pissed in Komisarek's cornflakes. Pretty sure it was Ron Wilson.
- They won those important faceoffs, in particular the 5-on-3 one at the end of the 2nd. But the one they needed the most with under a minute left was won so clean, the puck ended up back in the Habs' zone.
- Um...at least they didn't give up the empty netter?

Where's the team that played the Lightning into the ground? I want that team back. I WANT COMPETENCE!!!

Kudos to some kid who organized a viewing at the Kirkland Coliseum, raising money for the Habs childrens foundation. So yea at least SOME good came out of this crap...

Currently sharing the basement with the Bruins. Leafs in first! Yea and Matt Cooke is basically leading in scoring. Perspective.

Whatever. Rejoice, orphans, for FHF is back with Four(ish) Hockey Fans!

It's finally here! Your season opener open thread of love and hamsters

Pleky's ready! And he's getting old!

Greeting my 5 readers and all FHF orphans! I don't usually have game day posts. I'm not a lawyer either. However it's a new season and if you have something larger than 140-characters to say then feel free to say it in the comment section. Bonus ice cream for swearing (self-serve). I don't discriminate. Unless you're a Bruins fans. Also I promise it's quieter here than at HI/O since my neighbors wouldn't appreciate me actually screaming at the wall.

However you won't find pictures of sexy ladies. Sorry, that's what the rest of the internets are for.

So the Leafs eh? Once again Nos Glorieux have to open their season in Hogtown because the CBC says so. Not that I'll be watching there, mind. At least, not the whole time. I might pop in for Don Cherry's intermission ramble about what a great guy Jay Rosehill is and how PK "or whatever his name is" Subban is a disrespectful bum that Rosehill should run over. Really, I just watch to see who's chesterfield he murdered for his latest jacket. And it's better than listening to François Gagnon bash Andrei Kostitsyn for not acknowledging him in the hallway.

The what-where: Game starts at 7pm at the ACC. That's when you'll be watching while the guys in the lower bowl are out having drinks in the concourse or wherever the hell they are during the game. Over-under on the ridiculousness of the pre-game ceremony?

Last minute touch-ups: Leafs traded a 4th for a faceoff giant who's only recorded hit was an accidental clipping of Sidney Crosby's head. Too bad, I liked Steckel when he was with the Caps regardless of his awkward stride and quirky shot. Habs continue their tradition of picking functional 4th line centers that will wear the number 15 from the Flyer's waiver wire: Blair Betts for nothing (and Flyers fans aren't too happy about it either).

On the mend: Leafs find Connolly's already on the IR, Kadri's knee's in a bind for a bit, Grabs got a big bruise on his foot but will probably play. Habs resident BAMF Ryan White still out with groin ouchies (it was once reported as sprained ankle), Eller popped his shoulder back in but the doctor still won't let him play, and Markov still needs some facetime with his knee (though we'd rather he not play in Toronto anyway).

Whatever: Pity Lombardi for he's on a line with Jay Rosehill. Raphael Diaz not only has a cool name, but he fooled you all and made the team. And I don't think he hypnotized any of the coaches with his fancy accent either. Not saying he hypnotized me either...just...keep him talking please.

I just noticed TSN SportsCenter has a Price-Subban (Prubban?) triple-low-five in their intro. Suuuure...NOW you like it. Aaron Ward probably disapproves of this newfangled emotions shit.

Attention! We officially have less than 24-hours before Nos Glorieux step out onto the ice for real points! Prepare accordingly. #OnLikeDonkeyKong

COMPETENCE!

Cowboy up!

GYFH!

Habs 1, Leafs 3: Things that never were...

Summary:
- Pregame ceremony was poop. No idea why there was a ceremony anyway...
- Habs were stinky poop.
- Cammy missing on a breakaway was total poop, even though he scored later.
- Auld was total poop on that 2nd goal.
- Clarke MacArthur going apeshit on Spacek for...playing hockey? Poop. Respect your elders (and former teammate/captain), shithead.
- And the 4 minute roughing on each side for it was WTF poop.
- Spacek probably broke a hand falling down in that stupidity too so that's poop.
- Refs were big poop.
- 3D was poop.
- The 6-man attack with the goalie pulled thing was poop.
- Empty net goals are poop.
- Jacques Martin planting seeds of doubt into PK psyche is POOP. (Jerk).
- Dion Phaneuf looks like prehistoric poop.

Conclusion: Big stinky poop.

Habs 3, Leafs 4 (OT): Elusive point get, playoffs clinched, but I'm not amused...

That dude on the right. Yea, that's how it feels.

Indeed. The Habs clinched a playoff position while on a 3-game losing streak.

Flashback to Game 1 again. I know I did this in the previous post but I'll do it anyway. The Habs won that game 4-3 in OT with Josh Gorges following up on a rebound created by Mike Cammalleri. Price stole that game with 43 saves on 46 shots compared to the 22 saves on 24 shots by Vesa Toskala. Clearly the Habs could have beaten the Leafs in regulation that night in Toronto if they had swarmed Toskalol.

Flashforward to Game 82. The Habs lose the game 4-3 in OT with bridgetroll Dion Phaneuf surprising Halak with a wrister. Contrary to Game 1, in no way shape or form did Jaro match Price's stellar season opening performance like we hoped he would and Habs were bloody lucky they managed to get that 1 point they needed because of that. This time it was JS Giguere, making 34 saves on 37 shots, including a game saver on Cammy as he turned the Leafs D inside out only a few minutes prior to Phaneuf's goal. Jaro only faced 15 shots when it was tied up in the 2nd period and a poor decision on playing the puck allowed the Leafs to tie it up in the first place. He gave me zero confidence all night. He was deep in his net, looked nervous, pucks kept bouncing out of his glove (and he's had a glove side problem for the past 3 games now), and looked small. After Hanson tied it up in the 3rd with a shorthanded goal, CBC's Jeff Marek tweeted "If that was Price on the Hanson goal would he get a) pulled b) boo'd c) both?". All I can think of was "DO NOT WANT BRONZE MEDAL GAME 3RD PERIOD MELTDOWN".

If that was his Game 7 moment... Well, let's just say he's a good back up who had a lot of luck this year and now the cracks are showing.

The team did play ok. Defense still needs work. SERGEI NEEDS TO PLAY unless he's injured and not 100%. Just kept getting deflated all game. Need to work on 2-on-1s, keep your stick on the ice, tip-ins to wide open nets. They need to calm down, shoot more, want the puck more. Unlike Game 1 the powerplay did it's job once, and then gave up a shorthanded goal thanks to the slowfooted pylons on the blue line.

Game of the year and the Coach benches one of his best players for a career AHLer. Unbelievable. I know, I love Darche Vader as much as the next, but really, Sergei would have buried that.

Game of the year and the Coach puts Slippy on D. His shot can kill people, and he murdered Giguere's water battle with it, but please, keep him away from playing defence.

All comments aside, they're in. That elusive one point they searched for for weeks now...they finally got it. Let's remember this is a new team coupled with a new coach and the injuries, oh the injuries this team has had! In fact they only had a full healthy line up for like 2 games if that all year.

So we should be happy there's more hockey. Yes we could be facing the Devils...but there's also a possiblity, if the Flyers win tomorrow in regulation (and I won't hold my breath on that), we get the Capitals.

I would rather the Capitals. Frankly if I'm going to spend that kind of money on playoff tickets, I want to be entertained not bored out of my skull.

Yes, I'm being selfish. Hey, it's the LEAST I could ask for, being a loving fan who had to live through this season.

Game 82: Oh how you snuck up on us

It's here. It's finally here. And it all comes down to the wire. This is the game of the year and it just has to be against the Leafs.

In Game 1, Habs strolled into Toronto, showed little chemistry, Markov got too close and left with a cut on his leg that knocked him out for half the year, Price made 43 saves on 46 shots and stole the game, while Josh Gorges of all people followed up on a rebound to score the winner with 12.6 seconds left in OT. Mike Komisarek helped by taking 5 minor penalties.

Here we are now, the final game of the rollercoaster season. All they need is one simple little point to clinch the playoffs.

They couldn't be bothered to get that point against Carolina at the Bell Center, where Price was booed on his 3rd star selection by the idiots who felt Jaro should have played like it would have made a fucking difference when Pylon Hamrlik bowled the puck into his own net along with his goaltender.

They couldn't be bothered to get that extra point against the Islanders, where they basically fucked around most of the game and let the kids walk all over them.

They couldn't be bothered to get that point IN Carolina. Oh hey booing idiots, Jaro was in nets for that one, happy? Realize now that it made no fucking difference when the rest of the team doesn't show up?

Add in all those other games they couldn't be bothered to show up in, all those games they were shutout in, the Nashville game where Price made 53 saves on 55 shots and still lost 2-0 while Pekka Rinne yawned, all those 1-goal games where they just couldn't be bothered to get even a dirty goal with 6 (and accidentally 7 once) players on the ice. Those game they couldn't be bothered to inspire a win even with their goalie making over 40 saves hurt now. Those full two points they pissed away in two final minutes while in Buffalo really sting now eh?

All those pucks kicked into their own net. All those inability to hit open or empty nets. All those missed opportunities on AHL goalies and AHL defencemen...

They all accumulate here.

Word on the wire is Jaro will be in nets. Does it matter? Not really. But Habs fans seem to think of 2007 when Huet was put in instead of Jaro even though Huet just returned from NOT playing for months from an injury and Price is perfectly healthy and able. Stats nerds be damned. Game 7 vs the Bruins in the 2008 playoffs, Price had his 2nd playoff shutout. The city was set on fire. Tonight, this will be Jaro's Game 7. Please Ole proudly in the street and DON'T SET SHIT ON FIRE!

There's also word that Sergei might be a scratch. We still have no idea what he did in Carolina to warrant a game long benching and frankly he better have the fucking flu or else Jacques Martin is a fucking moron. That third line has been our best line when he's on it.

Komisarek is still out for the Leafs so no 5-minor penalties from him. No idea on the rest of that motley crew. Hopefully Phil Kessel is out with a season-ending hangnail. (I hate that chipmunk). Ron Wilson was already seen popping champagne when the final siren rang in Raleigh.

The Rags beat the Flyers in regulation last night. The Bruins beat the Sabres.

It's destiny in your own hands, Habs. No looking like a squirrel frozen while crossing the road as the truck barrels down on him. No dicking around on the powerplay with pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, lose the blueline, pass. Giguere isn't god's gift to goaltending and neither is the Munster, go make their life miserable. No flailing around defensively. And for the love of Jean Beliveau, CLEAR JARO'S REBOUNDS! Hey Bergeron, you were hired to rocketblast the puck into the net even if it means killing a few goalies with that shot, DO NOT DO ANY BOARD WORK! Cammy, you're due for another hattrick, you've waited long enough. Gio, keep doing what you're doing but take Gomez with you. Pouliot, manapult more before we callup Pacioretty to do it instead. Moen, punch Colton Orr in the face. Or Dion Phaneuf. (Unless Pleky gets to him first). Andrei, show us big Belarusian power. Rhino, exterminate all Leafs who cross the blue line. HMCS Hal Gill, may you save us on the powerplay with your long reach and lying down skills. Markov...just don't get injured.

It has come to this. Shove that smirk down Jack Todd throat. Wipe that nervous side-smile off Brian Wilde's face. Make Pat Hickey eat his words. Francois Gagnon can go cover the Lightning if he misses his Chez Nous boys so much.

It's a gorgeous day. Such a gorgeous day would end better with a wicked win against the hated Leafs.

GO HABS GO!

Habs 2, Leafs 3 (SO): Dull

Nothing really to talk about, honestly. First some jerkface Leaf scored (sorry Bozak, but you went to the enemy). Then Gionta scored. Then that turdball Kessel scored (BOOO) and Jaro would probably want that one back. Then Gionta scored again on the powerplay with a perfect deflection in the proper net. Fill it with perimeter hockey for the rest of the time, take it to a shootout, and fail.

Can someone please tell Jaro to stop making the first move in the shootout? At least AK46 was beautiful there.

I was hoping Sergei would score since it was his birthday but he didn't. Oh well.

Thankfully I was out hanging with Habs Tweeps for this game, otherwise it would have been a seriously BORING Saturday night. Frankly the only real highlight of the evening was seeing Pleky one-hand toss Phaneuf off his back like he was a Judo master. More please!

At least Markov survived unscathed. Good. Get the man a t-shirt that reads "I survived the ACC".

Oh, and the Bulldogs also lost to the Marlies in a shootout this afternoon. We are family.

Whatever. Here, have a Qwantz comic.

Of schadenfreude

You can call it a little bit of poetic justice, perhaps. What with the way TSN was just buying and selling everything Burke was feeding them with the pugnacity, testosterone, truculence, belligerence, and whatever. Most hockey fans didn't really buy it, or cared to buy it. Maybe Toronto fans got a little excited. They would have to, though. There's always a glimmer of hope on every team as the season starts.

Then there was talk of the "big four" on defence would be better than the big 3 of the old Habs, which just made me ill. Especially considering Komisarek, Beauchemin, and Exelby were part of that (I have no idea who #4 is... Schenn?). And while Markov got knocked out thanks to a freak injury, Pierre McDouche was talking about how Markov will suffer without Komisarek on his pairing, and will be picking glass out of his teeth. By then it was just getting rediculous, and Habs fans alike knew better than that, as it was Markov who made Komisarek look good.

And now they're 0-5, with less points than the Islanders who are the same but got the loser point more in less games (hey, we're good neighbors and gave you guys the 1 pity point) and look like they're getting worse and worse every game. They're also down to the bottom of the goaltending bin. Hell I have no idea who's netminding for the Marlies anymore as they're both called up now.

Since the start of the season, the jokes have been flowing non-stop. It was funny for a while...but as the Leaves spiraled more and more...it stopped being funny. Right now? It's just sad.

What is funny is that Komisarek is at the center of it all. But even that's getting old and actually not surprising to Habs fans considering how well we know him. Only we were lucky our PK unit was able to cover that all up. Smoke and mirrors!

And while the Leaves could rot for all I care, it annoys me because I'm still waiting for an epic Habs/Leafs playoff series. But the schadenfreude is drying up. I don't like kicking people when they're down.

Unless they're Bruins, of course.

Habs 4, Leafs 3 OT: Carey Price vs. The World

For a week now I've been battling a bug that wasn't quite the flu, wasn't quite a cold, and a mixture of allergies because I live next to a field of ragweed. So instead of partying with the Tweeps, I went home and snuggled under my lovely soft throw and readied myself for some Leaf hate. About thirty minutes later they finally dropped the puck.

Can someone tell me why and how the lower bowl was half empty in the so-called center of the hockey universe on opening night?!

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It took maybe 50 seconds for the Leafs to put a shot on goal via a 90-foot floater. Meanwhile Komisarek was already high sticking Gomez. Van Massenhover gives Burke's team the pity vote and eats his whistle.

About 5 minutes in and Laraque reminds Colton Orr he should have stayed in New York. Whatever, Bouillon used to beat up Colton Orr for us. Soon after, Rosehill got bored and desided to fight with Moen. Komisarek high sticks Andrei Kostitsyn, who didn't really care much about it then 'cause he was still asleep. Habs fans aren't surprised. Van Massenoven is high on Nyquil. Of course Komisarek starts thinking he's an offensive defenseman, but gets post. Price stops it all.

If you wanted to know the story of the game, it's Komisarek's penalties. Not the ones he didn't get, though. If Van Massenhoover actually called him for everything he'd just be in the box for 60 minutes. Finally after not getting caught the first time, Komisarek is called on a 4-minute high stick while trying to make Gomer uglier. It takes 1 second for Gionta to score. Leafsland gets quieter, if that were possible considering there's no one here.

The fun is negated when Hal Gill left his blinker on while beind the net. Grabs to Poni, the girly line. We leave the first tied at 1 after Komisarek slashes Markov who gives him a "whatever dude" look, and then cross checks Patches after the whistle. BGL whispers sweet nothing in his ear (here's a hint George, PUNCH HIM). Price haters have boarded the bandwagon.

RDS keeps trying to fan the flames by reminding us all it's only the first game of a new team and delivers the credit where it's due to Big Red in the crease. Oh and the Bruins getting massacred by the Caps.


Second starts a bit like the first. Toronto's fourth line giving some fits, Habs players not used to Price playing the puck and give it away, Komisarek tries to kill Gionta who takes the shot and bounces back up. Big Red saves the world. But if you thought Hal Gill was slow, nothing is slower than watching BGL on a breakaway. Worked too! Metro works behind the net, Moen cashes in. Toskala's save percentage drops below 700. Meanwhile Van Massendouche allows everything but Dagger's weak little hook. You know how dangerous those can be. But Gill gets lost in his legs and Mara gets lost in his beard. A weaksauce 5-on-3 and Stajan tips in behind Price. Cammy and Gomez pass around in the wrong direction and Komisarek elbows AK46 in the head who responds with a tap on the feet. Yawn. Somewhere Moen railroaded Grabovski and all of Montreal cheered.

Second period ends with 30 shots on Big Red Gum. Business as usual when in Hog Town. If not for Price being Price it would be 6-2 by now. Senator Demers tells us Komisarek is the Komisaurus pre-Lucic. Too bad they only play Boston for the first time this year December 5th, unless Pronger gets him first.

Third period gets odd. On one hand Habs fans except a comeback. On the other hand Leafs fans expect a comeback. Spacek dives to save a 3-on-1 from happening, earns brownie points. Gionta gets post. Komisarek throws Moen into Toskala who blockers him in the face. Not much of a fight when your guy is a little dazed from two hits but we know Komisarek picks his battles. Van Massenjerk give an extra two to Moen and Stajan can't miss standing in front of the net while Price gets tangled in Markov. All of Montreal stops breathing when Markov hobbles off the ice.

An injury to Markov is a dark cloud of worry. However, now we have Spacek to fail in the corners but lead the rush a lot better than Hammer.

The Leafs have tossed 40 shots at Price who yawns.

Gionta wants another goal and causes all kinds of havoc with his buddy Gomez. AK46 fell asleep on a wide open net. Sergei would have burried that. Just saying. But the winds of change blow as Komisarek aims to break the record for penalties in one game, and Metro tips in a shot from Gorges. Somewhere Guy Carboneau smiled.

Leafs ice the puck for the remaining minute of play and we hit overtime. Leafs are aiming for a shootout. Cammy has other ideas. With the entire bench on the edge of their seats, the world explodes when JOSH GORGES converts to a power forward and bashes the rebound.

No need to sacrifice sticks this year.

W00T!
- Pumpkin pie is yummy.
- Big Red Gum is hot!
- Gionta tapes his whole stick.
- Habs outhit the Truculent Leafs 47-22
- Happy Birthday Coach Martin!
- MARKOOOOOOOOOOOV ;o; Apparently cut by Price's skate.
- Komisarek is dead to me. Boo him loudly my friends.

We need Markov cloned: Habs 2 Sens 3

I put this loss on you, Maple Leafs. And when our guy accidentaly breaks your porcelain defenseman, we hear it and see it on every sports channel and page known to man and Kostopoulos is turned into something he is not and suspended a few games. But the little turd runs our star ironman with definite intent in a late moment of a game well out of hand and puts him out for three weeks, we hear nothing of it. Confuckingratulations.

Whatever.
- Gorges to Grabovski: I suggest you think about the KHL next season. Komisaurus is also waiting to plaster you into the wall.
- It's Monday and raining. Bad day for a game. But at least the crowd was by their side. Loud and proud, yo. I watched the Canucks game yesterday and it was dead silent... until they started booing as they slowly lost to the Avalanche.
- Breezer finally gets his silver stick and crystal thingy for his 1000th game. The stick was presented to him by the Pocket Rocket.
- Tanguay hitting the crossbar while standing in front of the net on a perfect Kovy-fake out...was vintage Robert Lang.
- Oh Higgy, a wide open net and you can't bank it in... It's that hesitation and sluggish reaction that will be the death of you.
- Kovy vs Ruutu all night. Ruutu didn't really work out though as Kovy got a goal that only Kovy can do.
- No Markov, No Schneider, No power play...
- Refs were absolute garbage. Don't get the high stick on Komisaurus but you sure get the one dealt by O'Byrne. Don't get the two head shots on Koivu or the tripping of Lapierre right in front of your eyes, but you sure love to pick on O'Byrne and a dive by Neil. And my idea of a cross check isn't a guy falling on another guy in a net scrum. It takes a lot to make Bob Gainey angry at you, so congratulations on managing that.
- Don't even get me started on that blown icing call that Gui! touched first a full 2 feet ahead...
- Speaking of Gui! it was fun watching players bounce off him.
- Anyone else on that team other than Heatley? No? Didn't think so.
- Tanguay, please stop with the drop passes unless you're sure someone on your team is there. And also please stop trying to Kovy your way into the zone. It really rarely works for you...
- Janik didn't do so bad actually. The sheer volume of the crowd could make him shit his shorts. He plays a bit like Hammer actually.
- Speaking of Hammer... Nice goal when they needed it but you really let guys walk in too much.
- If Jaro's legs were just a bit longer that second goal would have never happened. Maybe he could get flippers.
- Insert random swear words here.
- Can we maybe call over Yemelin or Korneev?

Conclusion: No more injuries. Please. For the love of all things great and small... At least the flu seems to have subsided. Still in seventh though. Yey.