Predictions, speculations, and other malarkey

Pardon me while I scrooge for a moment, but if there's one thing I hate about the playoffs it's the predictions and the media. Oh lordy I wished everyone would just shut up and enjoy the ride. I know the media is paid to do that kind of crap, but do they need to shove it down our throats every 24 hours? Does every snarky two-bit disc jockey out there have to chime in their two cents every waking moment? Do I need to wake up in the morning to arrogant comments about how the "Habs will whip the Bruins in 7" or how my company's video game simulator pegged the Bears to take the Cup in a final with the Sharks? (The very same simulator that had Kovalev signing with the Predators and had the Leafs as the number 1 team in the League). Does PJ Stock need to open his fucking mouth? Does Elliot Friedman have to talk with that annoying voice of his? Can Ted Bird STFU about goaltending? Can I get through this month without crosschecking Ric Peterson and Rick Moffat? Does it need to be like this?

Did you know every time Brian Wilde raises his eyebrows and stutters information jokingly while looking sideways towards his viewers, a kitten dies? Similarly when François Gagnon give his two cents about the Habs, puppies explode. Save the kittens and the puppies. Ban the TV. Burn the newspapers.

And no I don't have an alarm that isn't a radio. Well, I do, but the buzzer is heart attack city and I'd rather not wake up to that...

In a vain effort to preserve what enjoyment I can take from this most wonderful time of the season, I am attempting to glue my radio to the wall so I can pick up 99.9 the Buzz. This station is the rock alternative (and the only station I listen to except my shitty clock radio barely picks it up) and comes from Burlington, Vermont, so the only sports they ever talk about is baseball, football, or basketball, and even then it's only in passing on the "news".

It's either that, or I'm leaving the country.

Gluing the radio is cheaper though.

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In other news, we might not hear of the name "Tavares" until draft day. There is a god. Burke, however, unfortunately, wants to trade up so we might still hear the name that shall not be spoken. Lindros Trade anyone?

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And in more news, the Lightning fired a bunch of staff and so immediately the press idiots jumped back on the ZOMG VINNY'S GONNA BE TRADED van. I heard that causes global warming. They also fired their mascot. So long, top-heavy bug thing. Now who will torture unsuspecting beachgoers? Have you people no shame?!

I don't say this lightly...

...But be ashamed.

Ashamed that after Gainey said he believes this team is the team he wants and didn't trade any of you droogs that you come out and play like this on the perverbial 4-pointer.

Ashamed that there's a young guy in nets trying his hardest to give you a game but you other guys forget to show up or only play 15 minutes in the first period and then go on day dreaming for the rest.

Ashamed that you can't clear the puck out of your zone. And once you do and get it into the offensive zone, you need to dump it and go off on a change. Hey, looks like the playoffs from last season! Oh right, they blamed it on Price too.

Ashamed that you're second on the puck every time, can't win a board battle, can't win a faceoff, can't hussle, can't skate.

Ashamed that Lindy Ruff is a better coach than you right now, Carbo.

Anyone see the defense corp? All I saw were a few guys running around lightly giving the puck to Sabres players for perfect shots, or blocking shots and then forgetting about them not realizing that instead of letting Price take it and freeze it you've deflected it onto a Sabres players' stick who's wide open.

Yes it's always a perfect idea to throw the puck up the middle while Spacek is barreling forward full steam ahead and makes supposed defensemen look like pylons. Doing that is the equivalent of giving the puck away to Kovy with a wide open net.

The little guy's horseshoes may have worked for a few games, but Halak isn't going to stop 50 shots a night, especially when he's usually flat on his back and Buffalo players shoot high so don't give me that crap about the game would have been won if he were there. Price can't because he just gets more depressed as the night goes on. (Shots are usually less with him because of the rebound control). He even took a shot in the neck for you, and you did nothing to say thank you while he went back into nets, a face red with pain. (The wonders of HD).

Oh I think I saw Kovalev. He hit someone off the puck and then...no one else joined in to get the puck.

I saw Gorges pin a guy to the wall and free up the puck...and then everyone stood around and thought about doing something.

I saw Koivu wrap around and shoot at the net...and then somehow it bounced off D'Agostini.

I saw Higgins attempt a wrap around again but miss completely. Though that one doesn't actually surprise me.

I saw a terrible powerplay where Markov seems to suddenly insist on shooting now, yet always shoots ten feet too high. Schneider is there, right on the other side. Give it to him please.

Anyone see Andrei Kostitsyn lately? No? Ya, me neither.

I still thank heavens for Max Pacioretty.

One goal. Pleky scored too little too late.

No, this is not Price's fault.

This is all on you who make Lalime look like he's Martin Brodeur.

Maybe Bob should have traded half of you for something... I'd have even taken draft picks. Congratulations, but Bob's vote of confidence just went out the window.

About the only thing I enjoyed tonight was I got to sit on my lovely new sofa. So comfy...

Trade deadline: Ya whatever. Bunch of broken or bad goalies got switched around. Bunch of underachievers moved. Nothing really special from my point of view. I think the picks were the best moves of the day, while Calgary is still 95% power forwards. (The other 5% are the goalies and maybe one defenseman).

Or maybe there is one thing. The Flyers got that idiot from the Coyotes. Joy...

Remember the Bollocks: Habs 2, Divers 3 (OT)

No matter how hard a team tries, the outcome is usually the same with the Whalicanes. And the Habs deserve their point at least, because they played the game as careful as they could and as hard as they would be allowed considering every breath on a Whalicane results in a penalty or a no-goal. My brother observed it as it was in the early part of the game and into the middle of the second period: that the guys were too afraid to battle on the boards early on because every time they did they knew they would be called for something. (Caught a few times in later board battles a few 'Canes trying to pretend something that wasn't happening). Of what I did see, Pleky and Max's penalties were accurate. I know the one early on with Komo was a total dive, though.

Once upon a time, Mike Van Ryn said when he was in Florida that apparently if you brush up along side Brind'Amour, you'll get called for something. But every tripping they do is "accidental" and how a team's goal is waved off on a delayed penalty I don't know, because how does one put the puck in the net on a rebound off the goalie when they are not in control of said puck? And in overtime as Markov is trying to work while his stick is being held for a good 10 seconds with no call on it, only to have the Whalicanes later jump on Price and the loose puck that trickled behind him to the post a few moments later. Habs should have been on a powerplay there. Weaker calls were given yesterday in overtime, but this was absolutely blatant and in full view of the ref and where the puck was. I'm glad the crowd threw their cups and various trash on the rink after the game was over. The camera showed a nice shot of flying beer.

If any good came from this:
- D'Agostini!
- Tanguay the gentleman on D'Agostini's goal.
- Lang. Yes, screw you Mats.
- Price, like fine wine, will get better with age and got better as the game rolled on. I mean, not a bad showing for a guy who just came back from a long few weeks off. And (from the sound of it) I totally know the kind of injury he had as I've done the same to myself a few times just standing around my room and turning around too fast while the rest of me doesnt turn. (My dad has a problem with answering phones right away). Needless to say, it was hard to walk for a day or two, and then a little strained for a bit more.
- The hussle and awesomness of Lapierre's line when he's got Latendresse and Kostopoulos around him.
- Laraque the Rock and his big body, an absolutely immovable object.
- Kovy and his magic and how well Sergei is playing with him. And how hard he tried to help Pleky snap his zombie complex. (A little tap on the legs after a golden chance that completely failed, among other constant attempts to get him something, anything).
- Maxwell has pretty good hussle too, and seems to just be concentrating on his defensive game right now.
- WE NEVER HAVE TO SEE THESE DROOGS AGAIN UNTIL NEXT SEASON!



And to all of you, this one point could have been worse, so happy holidays. Keep healthy, keep safe, keep warm, and GO HABS GO!

Home Opener Frenzy, No "Hockey Moms" in Sight

Did you vote? I did. Took me 5 minutes, no one in line. Much ado about nothing. Yawn. Oh what? Hockey! YES! That's right tomorrow will be the home opener for the 100th season! And who better to start off the home stretch than a visit by some not-so-cuddly bears.

You know, it's always fun when Boston comes to town. As the Habs only proper rival they've got left from the old days, they always put on a show. Whether it's high sticking Kovy 5 times a game and getting away with it, or some big lug trying to fight one of the Kostitsyns after a clean hit, or Lucic whining like a big baby, or Kostopoulos getting a match penalty and throwing sticks to the crowd as thank yous while wearing shorts, or spinning Price in his crease and getting away with it, or Kirk Muller nearly jumping the glass to strangle Claude Julien's rather large neck... Yeah. We love the Bears. I got my boo gun ready, do you?

But this year, a familiar face has joined their musky ranks. Ryder found a home in Beantown this summer, lured by lots of cash and the promise of being coddled by Julien himself while trying to restore his stature as a 30-goal scorer. I've nothing against him, really. I like(d) the Newf. Actually I always thought he'd look good in the black and gold. Some players, certain uniforms just fit them perfectly. Their captain, however, gets no love from me.


There's something about Zdeno Chara that just creeps me out to the point where I just call him "Lurch". He's a rather overrated defenseman who somehow made his way to the All-Stars a few times 'cause he launches bombs from the points and uses his wrestler genetics to fight a lot of smaller guys and generally throw people around like ragdolls. I personally perceive him as the worlds largest pylon, dangled by every member of the Kovy-Pleky-Kostitsyn line, soon to be joined by well...every other line on the Canadiens. Kostopoulos ain't afraid of that lug. Even Gui! took offence to him for a nosejob he created on Kovy. (Not very successful, but hey, at least the kid has stones). It's unknown if Laraque will join the lineup tomorrow considering he's a little rusty. But last time those two tangled, well... Lurch didn't exactly fair too well. My big man is bigger than your big man! Nanny nanny fuufuu! Really... Just play some hockey already.

A Clockwork Orange

Ya, I have no idea either. But I've been sitting here fiddling with this blogger thinger all while the sounds of Beethovan's 9th waft into my room. No one in this house would willingly listen to that music, regardless of the many years of piano instructions. Anyway, this is just a test. A test out of boredom. It's Summer and I hate Summer. It was nice today though, until the Jekyll-Hyde weather returned. Rain, thunder, lightning, sun with rain, figaro. I think this Summer has multiple personality disorder.

Know what I want? I'd like the hockey season to start. The (Summer) Olympics are boring. I know all about training for a run straight down a mountain at top speed while keeping in control and actually making some turns but I don't know much about training 4 years just to jump into a pool or bounce on a trampoline. Sorry guys, I only like the mascots. Call me when the puck drops.

I'll get a banner or something up there one day. Keep it default for now.