Showing posts with label one swift kick in the arse can do wonders. Show all posts
Showing posts with label one swift kick in the arse can do wonders. Show all posts

Monday, October 5, 2009

Variable skies with a chance of Weber


Weather the storm, Habs fans! Don't listen to Joel "Chicken Little" Bouchard. Yes, we know, the loss of Markov--one of the Leagues top Defencemen--sucks big time. And thankfully Bob isn't running around panicking like some of the pundits online and on air. Losing Rhino doesn't help, of course, but unless you listen to the opinions of 120% (also known as L'Antichambre with a 10% more chance of douchebaggery than 110% if that were ever possible), Gill and Mara are quite the duo of TREES more than capable of playing defence. In fact their "sticks and reach" was probably on Ron Wilson's cheat sheet under "strengths". (Right where the screen cuts off). Sure they're not as flashy or elegant as the General, NO ONE CAN BE MARKOV! And why does no one stop to think "hey, how come no one signed UFA Marc-André Bergeron?". Who knows, but I don't care. As for trading, stop mentioning Soupy in Chicago please... Not only do we not have the cap room, but what would you sacrifice for that? And what would you DO when Markov comes back? Besides, Sergei's fit of confusion totally negated any trade value he ever had. And shut up about Halak. We need two number ones until the system settles in.

Anyway, Swiss Mister 2.0 is up! And fits under the cap! And Sergei has sucked it up, put the purse away, and headed to Hamilton like a good boy.

Oh and if we enter November going 2-12, THEN you can start shitting the bed.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

The Final Chapter...

In an almost cruel trick of nature, the sun broke through the clouds and gave way to clear skies. Battered and broken, the young Lord Price gazed up at the blinding light. An eerie silence enveloped his camp. Around him, his fellow men hobbled around on whatever strength they had left. "It's just too much," thought the young Lord while looking at his downtrodden men.

After an ambitious campaign, they had finally hit a wall. Not enough able bodies capable to carry the load, and those left healthy could barely muster a shot. The Captain, spirited as always, attempted to hold the men optimistic. "We won't go down without a fight," he said to them before the final stretch. The two young keepers tried to keep their own spirits high, but even they both knew their efforts alone couldn't save them. And although they had eagerly awaited this rendez-vous with the hated Bear Tribe of the East, they knew it wouldn't end well. "We just need to survive," is what they told each other. "No matter what happens, we'll keep our heads high."

Four nights. It felt like four years. One beating after another, losing more to injuries, and in turn slowly losing spirit. They tried hard, but it wasn't enough. The giant Chara, captain of the Bears, could stop their attack with one blow. When he didn't, his defensive shield was so great around their old keeper that it almost felt as if an invisible barrier was placed around their stronghold. Kessel, the trickster, always seemed capable of getting in at the right place at the right time, and whenever he did, he had a quality shot at the young keeper. The brutish Lucic, a sworn enemy of Lord Price's defensive leader Komisarek, was constantly in their faces. And although one of the young defensive members, Weber of Switzerland, managed to knock the brute to his knees twice, he still managed to hurt them. They were running out of power, running out of steam, and though they still held their heads high they were running out of faith.

And so they returned home, unhappy and empty handed. The city was divided on their performance between a complete vile lack of gratitude and those that still loyaly believed in them. The few that continued believing made the warriors happy, even for just a bit. But the overwhelming bile directed at them and the young keeper seemed to have outweighed this. The King, however, put his foot down and delivered a stern warning.

"Shame on you," he said of the people who spat their disrespect at the men of the sacred red, white, and blue. "Shame on you all. One day, you'll run these men out of town and will be left with nothing." The young keeper took the criticism the hardest but his men rallied to his defence, and the King echoed those sentiments. In the end they all knew the reality.

"There will be other battles, other chances," said the brilliant captain to his young keeper. With a nod, and a sigh, the keeper agreed. "Until next year," said the young Lord, trying desperately to smile. "Les Glorieux will ride again."

--------------------

Well, that's all she wrote fellow Habs fans. No, not you idiots at the Bell Centre who booed the team all night. You guys can go fuck off a bridge and die for all I care. Not satisfied with having chased Roy out of town, you're on a mission to run everyone else out and then cry about what could have been while those players have great careers elsewhere.

It was a good season despite all the injuries and adversity that marred it. I mean, we could have been like Dallas, and just NOT have made the playoffs and only managed to nab the 8th pick in the lottery. We don't have a Malkin, or a Crosby, or an Ovechkin. We don't even have a Heatley. We had no powerplay all year, though it worked some times. Every player we got over the summer who made our team better fell to devastating injuries. The final nail in the coffin was Markov...

Hockey is the type of game that can change as quickly as Kovy pivots. Hopefully the idiots tonight didn't run the entire roster out of town. I still maintain that we need the Nordiques back just to take the heat off a little.

Tomorrow is Solidarity Day. All the REAL fans should wear their sweaters or t-shirts. All the REAL fans care to support their boys and not throw towels or waterbottles. Bunch of barnyard pigs.

And now we have 5 months of speculations via talking heads. Oh how I hate the off-season... Here's to the Draft, In Bob We Trust.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Bob takes charge and other things


Sergei's gone back to Hamilton. I'd say that's fine, even though I'm a big supporter of the young lad. If he needs a refresher course then the Bulldogs it is. Besides, last time he got sent down there he went on a point spree. Another plus? The Bulldogs could use the help. No really, they could. Their roster's wearing thinner by the week and if he can get back to throwing the puck in the net, then they'll be well on their way to the playoffs.

With Sergei down, Bob brought Stewart up. YAY! Any kid who debuts beating up McCabe is awesome in all our books. Well, except maybe McCabe's.

Schneider called up Chelibot and told him he stole his number 24. Chelibot responded with a "well you stole my job, may as well steal my number too".

Bob had "the talk" with Kovy again. Last time he talked with him he had an awesome season. Right now, Kovy (like a few others on the team) looks out of gas. I mean he has played every single game this year even while sick with the flu. He's a proud man, and loves his team regardless of what any random media gosspi monger feels to spew out in regards to his attitude, and he hates being away from them when he feels they need him. Which is why he always overdoes things. Which is why things aren't working. He's doing too much. So Bob told him to be a healthy scratch and get his act together. We'll see later how this pans out.

Tomorrow it's OVIE TIME. We may be doomed but at least we'll see that crazy Russian.