Heeeere radio radio radio...It's tough enough waking up on a Monday. Harder after you've spent the wee hours of 2-3am phoning security and then the cops on some suspicious activity happening below. And doubly harder when your crappy alarm clock radio has difficulty reaching your favourite station which hails from Vermont and plays ACTUAL music so your stuck with the terrible morning show of CHOM who decided they'd get in on the Sports scene more by firing Ted Bird and hiring former-useless facepuncher PJ Stock (who was "fired" from the actual sports station) to berate the Habs every fucking morning. His bitterness can't be cured with a morning coffee. Or maybe it's those early hours waking up that causes him to kvetch so much. Either way, it's NOT how I wish to wake up in the morning. But the fleeting chance of a traffic report or say some actual music has me stuck on this station. Also, THERE'S NOTHING ELSE unless I sleep on my sofa and set my TV to wake me up...which might not be a bad idea other than the prospect of ruining my back.
Sadly until the solar prominence, I won't be getting my Vermont station on my shitty radio (can barely get it on my car in the parking lot too...maybe my building is radioactive). And so I'll continue to wake up pissed off and annoyed as PJ Stock whispers absolutely laughable nothing into my ear. Does it wake me up? Sadly not enough to throw my radio, but just enough to anger me with a "what the fuck am I listening to and what the fuck is going on here".
Behold the latest wisdom from the insightful yet vapid mind of PJ Stock:
- The Habs lost their best powerplay point getter in Glen Metropolit.
- The Habs lost their best point getting defenceman in Marc-Andre Bergeron.
- The Habs lost their best checking forward in Dominic Moore.
- The Habs lost their best player in Jaro Halak.
- The Habs suck.
- The Habs don't have a goalie signed.
- The Habs suck so much I gotta remind you every fucking morning.
- I talk in pauses 'cause it makes me look smrt (sic) and shows I know what I'm talking about. I stole this from Obama.
- I just got owned by the traffic lady.
- The Habs suck and will suck forever. Too bad my name is engraved on that Centennial statue, assholes.
- The Habs suck so much they got a second line of Cammalleri-Plekanec-Lapierre.
- The Habs suck because they got Brock Trotter penciled in on their 3rd line.
- This opinion was so important that I had to phone it in.
For one, PJ, I'll be very impressed with Brock Trotter if he could score for the Habs on the 3rd line all the way from Latvia.
While I'm on the subject of RADIO PEOPLE WHO ANNOY ME...
Hey Tony Marinaro, why don't you and Jaro get a room already so you could just get this over with? Not only do you temporarily take over the best radio show in the city (Melnick's on vacation), but I don't think a day has passed where you haven't gushed in a romantic fantasy trance via a selective memory of events about the former Habs goalie. Every day it's the same damn thing! GET. OVER. IT. You're making me hate Jaro by constantly shoving this down my earlobes.
Here. Use this song and head over to the Queen E. I'm sure Gino would approve. Don't forget to bring Alan Walsh with you.