Habs 3, Pens 2: Whine and cheese

Whilst out celebrating my mom's 60th birthday, Habs were taking on the Penguins. Or, as I like to call it, PK Subban annoying Sidney Crosby forever.

- It's Pacioretty Week! Two more goals!
- Eller and Galchenyuk are being wasted by Prust. Sure Prust is a great energy guy, but he's not Gallagher. The least you could do is rotate a double shift of Gallagher, Pacioretty, and Bournival.
- When the Penguins waste opportunities early (ie. gifted powerplays) they turn into the whiniest whinebags ever and frustrate themselves into a hole.
- Fleuuuuuuryyyyyyyy.
- Did you know D'Agostini is a Penguin? I just remembered.
- Also just remembered Chocula is an assistant coach. That's pretty funny, considering what happened in 2010...
- Carey Price > Fleury
- By like a hundred thousand miles. And kilometers.
- Pleky beating Crosby on the faceoff matchup. All. Night. Long.
- Gionta pissing Crosby off. All. Night. Long.
- Ya I can't even blame Fleury for that 2nd Pacioretty goal. That release was ridiculous.
- You know what happens when you've got 3 minutes left in a game, and you were doing so well matching up lines and then you THROW OUT BOUILLON-DIAZ whilst Malkin-Neal are on the ice? You get two pylons and a goal against.
- So if PK is "too risky" for Team Canada, what the fuck is Letang?
- Meanwhile Team Russia is looking for some loophole to put Subban on their team.
- Not really, but they should.

I remember hearing how Habs will drop both these games on the radio. Please keep saying that so the opposite will happen, thanks.

 Peter Budaj, stealing yer stick

Smells like first win

Predictions are crap. I mean, Rod Francis had 9-1 Pens. What does he know anyway, he's a Buffalo guy. The picture above was taken off the Habs twitter from the morning skate. We all laughed at it. Was it a prediction? Destiny has a new home? Destiny is 0-2 on the season.

Pre-game in the locker room, RDS showed the boys. Boyd was chill. Others were smiling. Price was wrapped in a fleece Habs blankie with his cap down low. Looked like he was taking another pre-game nap. According to Don Cherry, you much psyche yourself up before the game. Throw some punches with a pal like Fleury does with Talbot. Or look like your trying to relieve your constipation into your net like Leclaire. Our cowboy doesn't need that crap.

Our cowboy stopped 36 of 38 shots, five from Crosby alone. Leclaire spent most of his time on his ass flailtending. (My brother calls his technique "If I flail my arms rapidly maybe nothing will get by me"). Fleury looked like garbage and some ornery Pens fans are already wondering if Brent Johnson gets the call next game.

Actually, ornery Pens fans abound. Apparently there was in-fighting. In the washrooms. Ouch.

Maybe the ghosts don't like the fancy new building?

Bullet points in case you can't make out what Mario Tremblay is saying on RDS:
- Cammy loves the new building much like he loves crushing the Pens.
- Travis Moen turns into Pavel Bure when he plays the Pens.
- I don't know how Benoit Pouliot can be so frustrating yet finds himself #3 on the points list. Now, if he could just keep his stick on the ice, he'd maybe tip in some goals. Also I don't think the Habs are aiming to have him be the Franco-Travis Moen but it's nice that he started throwing the body around.
- Keep booing Subban, Pens fans. He loves it.
- He also loves making Crosby cry.
- And Malkin.
- And he didn't embellish that you fucking tools, Comrie nearly took his eye out... (But he apologized).
- Have I mentioned how much I love Dustin Boyd?
- Rhino's confidence must be going insane. I've never seen a guy get dinged with so many bullshit "2 minutes for playing defence" penalties in my life.
- Also what other team thinks it's OK to play him with Picard. Lord have mercy on our souls.
- Lars Eller should not be on the 3rd line. He's Top 6 not a grinder, Martin!
- Just as RDS was bitching about Gomez not having any shots on goal, he sends one weak shot at Fleury and scores. Ask and ye shall receive.
- Also it's normal a PLAYMAKER won't have any shots on net.
- That's what Captain America is for.
- Talbot totally fell for Lapierre's trap and he totally knew it. Was so red in the face in the penalty box.
- And Lapierre's smile was precious.
- It pisses me off how much shit the Pens get away with.
- Whatever. Habs still won. In 24 seconds.
- Hal Gill really wanted that empty netter.
- Don Cherry's a tool.

Stunned Pens fans. Fun times.

Round 2 Game 7: THIS!

First, stop with the "Cinderella". This team isn't Cinderella. This team is a TEAM. From the net, to the D, to the forwards. One team, a team that played as a full roster for ONE GAME all season. A team with playoff tested veterans like Gionta and Gomez and Moen and Gill who aren't propped up by the League's posters and are already putting on their business face for the next round. Cinderella doesn't set up a structure to frustrate and shut down the other team's shooters. Cinderella doesn't take full advantage of opportunities handed to them. Powerplay. Penalty kill. Five on five. They know how to handle it now.

Second, be proud Pittsburgh that the team who opened your arena will shut it down. It could have been some expansion team or something like that.... After all, isn't it more mystical and historical to say "the Montreal Canadiens, who opened the building with a 2-1 win, played a great game to beat our team 5-2 and sent the Igloo out in a stunning fashion".

Third, Bob Gainey is smiling for reals.

Fourth, all day I called it: "free wings".

Fifth, this franchise.... The Cincinnati Cyclones are the first team in ECHL history to come back from a 3-0 hole to win a Game 7 (and it was a 1-0 shutout by Robert Mayer to boot). The Habs are currently the only playoff team with their AHL and ECHL teams still in their own playoff runs.

GO HABS GO!

Round 2 Game 4: Out for Justice

Only team "out for justice" are the Habs, you whiny twerpy pricks.

Speaking of playoff slogans, what are the Habs using? I don't think they ever had a slogan...considering their jersey is a slogan. Or the slogan over the door that connects the room to the rink. Or the slogan (quote) on the wall from "In Flanders Fields".

Dominic Moore gave us "blood in the beard": a slogan that defines this team's character. No matter the odds, get smacked in the face, don't depend on the shitty officials, and keep on going.

I have never seen this team this close together since '93 where, when things were looking bleak, they were practically in each others arms terrified together at the prospect of being eliminated until fortune finally shone on them with an illegal stick. Tonight, as the final seconds ticked away and the Pens pulled Fleury for an extra man, not ONE person was seated on the bench. Each player were on their feet, some leaning over the boards, on the edge, Price was snuggled in close and banging on the glass. When the puck cleared the first time they all jumped and cheered like they scored a goal. When the game was over they poured over the boards as if they won the Cup already. They're so close and excited you can't help but fall in love with them.

...Can Gionta get his C now, please?

Round 2 Game 4: Why you so far, Abbotsford
What a silly system of 2-3-2 for the playoffs... Heat currently lead 2-1. C'mon Bulldogs, do like your big brothers did tonight. (*edit* Doesn't look like they will, now it's 4-1 Heat).

Quote of the night (during 2nd intermission):
Patrick Williams "Habs are the Abbotsford Heat of the NHL"
Derek Wills "...but more skilled and less stupid."

Habs 5, Pens 3: In which we suckerpunch you and steal your lunch money

When I saw the lineup for today's afternoon game I said that I hope they make it interesting at the very least. I know the Pens don't perform so good in afternoon games, so Jacques Martin's "sleep them to death" system would have been horrible. Thankfully it looks like they were following Guy Boucher's system. Add a little bit of luck to it, and we got free wings!

Thirty seconds in and Craig Simpson is already preparing his speech about the kids on line 4 and how Crosby will eat them alive once Disco Dan gets his matchups working when Darch collides with wandering Fleury behind the net and Pleky scores. If Chris Lee were reffing, he'd be all over that. Marouelli was probably just shocked at the forchecking Habs to notice. I'm actually more shocked the 5 Pens players standing around looking at the ref didn't just turn around and maul Darche...

Not long after Staal crashes the crease and Dupuis flings in the rebound. They looked at it but it was a good goal regardless.

I muted the game and put yakety sax on for a good five minutes and nearly died laughing. It was that kind of afternoon. Think of the weirdest things this side of Kronwall's skate blade coming off during play. It was that kind of weird. Players falling down, falling over each other, Gorges' stick getting stuck in between two glass planks, Fleury throwing a fit every time Ryan White did his job, etc... It started in warmup when Gomez took a puck off the back of the head and realized he was bleeding. My mom even called me from Ikea saying that she's making a leg of lamb and wants me to come over for dinner. Talk about random.

Zebras love watching the Habs too!

All hail we got a fourth line!
- Brrrrrrrrock Trotter makes his debut, gets 5 shots on goal (more than any player on the whole ice), draws 3 penalties, nearly scores but is stopped first by Jay McKee and then by a post, and gets an interview with Cassie Campbell. He's so pro!
- Desharnais proves someone can be shorter than Brian Gionta. Almost scores too.
- Ryan White gets attacked by Old Man Guerin for checking Malkin clean and legal. Didn't know Malkin's honor needed protecting. Either way, Guerin got owned by a kid 20 years younger than him.
- When a flying Gio scored and knocked himself out into the boards I thought "Great! Now we can't score without injuring ourselves!" You could see the stars rotating around his head.
- Gio kneeling on his second goal doesn't make him any shorter either.
- Just as Craig Simpson was chewing out Gomez for not getting any goals lately he scores on the powerplay.
- And when Markov was down on the ice after falling awkward and pulling his back, the entire crowd, bench, and coaches were silent with an "oh shit" look on their faces. You could hear a mouse fart from the basement. I saw our standings drop by 10. Then he rose like Jesus and the crowd rejoiced. The PA guy played Tragically Hip's "Courage".
- Jaro no likes breakaways. Seeing Malkin coming at him was like watching a squirrel starring at a car before it hits him.
- And the 2-on-1 was saved by old man Spacek of all people, otherwise Jaro's short legs no make the save.
- Outshooting the Pens by a 10:1 margin has something to do with things. Offensive hockey works, Jacques! You should try it more often!
- Disco Dan tried to take advantage of our Kids Line by slipping Crosby and Malkin over the boards. Never underestimate the Bulldogs, Dan. Probably too busy with the lucky burritos.
- When Darche Vader scores, Montreal is happy. Fleury is not.
- It's not every day we hear a Habs goalie makes 18 saves for a win.
- This team is just so much happier when Ryan White is on it. He's like a cherry-faced bundle of happy energy.

Bottom line is the Bulldogs kids are uncorrupted by Coach Martini.

Bruins lost again to the Canucks in a shootout even while launching 40+ shots at Luongo. Fucking annoying! I don't want them to end their streak tomorrow. Habs better win! If there are teams I can't stand losing to, the Bruins are top of that list.

Penguins can't fly: Habs 4 Pens 2

The world has not exploded. Carbo and Kovy don't hate each other as much as the media would like you to believe. Seriously? Did you really believe that shit? Stop trying to run them out of town. So here's the team after Robert Lang's smile and crazy hair was suddenly removed from the lineup...and it's basically last year's team but with Dagger and Patches on perma-stay. And Henry just wants to fight everyone on the list (tonight it was Godard).

What are you secretly afraid off?
- Habs question of the day hilarity. Koivu says snakes, but it's no secret. Sergei took a good few minutes to ponder and then shrugged "nothing". Price is afraid of being stepped on by a bull, of course. Spiders make Higgy scream like a girl. TK is afraid of Laraque.
- I enjoy Habs/Pens games because it's all speed.
- Welcome to the NHL, Caputi! He has an awesome name. And congratulations on his first NHL goal capitalizing on the 5 Habs sitting in Price's face. 0-1
- Well, Fleury isn't really known for his puckhandling prowess... Gave the puck right to Sergei. Needle, thread, Hammer Time. 1-1
- Crosby took a run over Price. Lucky Price leaned back. Please don't take our goalie's head off.
- Malkin vs...Komisaurus? Um... I supposed we have Luke Schenn to thank for that? At least Komo was nice enough to just really pin him to the glass.
- Been a long time since I saw the team this organized.
- Been a long time since I saw the Pens that bad defensively. Really hung Fleury out to dry.
- Best defensive play of the night: four Habs halt the oncoming forward, puck trickles to Price, Price smacks it out to center via the boards.
- Refs gotta get out of the fucking way. Pleky had to move one over...
- Refs gotta get out of the fucking way of clearing attempts... THREE times in the 3rd alone.
- The colour of your pads mean nothing.
- The Double-Max-Sergei line was awesome.
- Pacioretty was awesome not only offensively but defensively he prevented Malkin from entering the zone twice in a row. Nice to see the kid growing before our eyes.
- Sergei was EVERYWHERE.
- Higgins shorthanded. He can score at will like that. But when he's pressured with people around him, he misses. He's so weird. 2-1
- Actually Habs now have 9 shorties. That's 2nd to the Flyers' 13.
- Patches assisted on Fruit Punch's goal while in a headlock. 3-1
- Weirdest shot of the night was the 150-footer Markov did on Fleury who had to hold on because the only players he saw coming back in his zone wore red.
- Gorges was back on the right planet tonight. Fuck you, Gauthier.
- Rhino was smarter tonight. Good boy!
- I was shocked! SHOCKED! Therrien juggled lines for the 3rd period. Yet...when ever I looked I swore I only saw Crosby and Malkin.
- Kovy was looking like the Good Kovy. Blocking shots and all.
- Only one brain cramp on the PK and it's gotta be on Malkin's stick eh? 3-2
- Happy birthday, Andrei Kostitsyn. Weird goal, but he'll take it. Now he's up to Lang's tally. 4-2
- I miss Lang...
- Nice big open net... I was waiting for the guys to give the puck to Price so he could pop one. Maybe next time eh?
- Instead of the empty netter, Price ended the game sitting on Staal.
- Seems like a new tradition with Price. Win the game, he throws his stick to the crowd. Presents!

Conclusion: Nice to see the team back in shape and play a good 60 minutes. It has been too long... Of course, you might say the Pens are soft, but Crosby and Malkin alone can burn the red light out. I think the Habs did a good job keeping them in check, only gave up 1 powerplay goal, and pretty much dominated. It's a good win to put in the charts and helps the team move forward with confidence. And with the recent struggles and loss of more players, this is just what the Carbo ordered.

On the other planet Gorges visited Saturday...
- Ha burn. McCabe scores on Toronto giving the Panthers the overtime winner. He was used to scoring on the Toronto net anyway.
- Kings 1, Sens absofuckinlutelynothing. I saw the highlights. That really wasn't Hartsburg's fault...
- Rangers actually LOST in a shootout, 2-1 to Atlanta.
- Islanders apparently don't want Tavares? Fourth win in a row. They might still get him.
- Caps 5, Devils 2. Why can't WE play like that when facing the Devils?
- Stars 3, Flames 1. I don't know if I like the rumors of trading for Brad Richards... he's just as expensive as Vince. Niskanen makes a bit more sense, I guess. Maybe. Whatever. Only the Bob knows.

And we're back: Big Kostitsyn 3, Pens 2, Priceberg 32

So, it's welcome back from the holidays and the Habs allow 34 shots at Pricey. Hey, doesn't sound too bad for him. I'm thinking those blue sweaters reminded him of the Leafs, who usually launch a good 40+ shots his way. It's ok. Gets you back into the groove fast. I also believe Andrei asked for goals for Christmas. Well here's a hat trick, kid! Must be how it works...get your knee taken out by Hartnell and then come back with 3 goals. I don't know if I should thank that ape, honestly. That makes me feel dirty...

Rise from your grave!
- Habs played their Detroit tape to contain an aggressive and rather desperate to win Pens force. I know the 0-5 defense play looks like no one is doing anything but it's really the only smart way to try and contain some players. And if they break through, then it's all Price. It's also why the Habs got lots of icing calls when trying to launch the other way.
- ZombiePleks can now change his name to ZombieAssistPleks. The rinse/repeat feed for Andrei was bizarre though.
- Someone taught Gui! how to forecheck. I'm proud of his progress this year.
- Sergei needs better linemates. I'm thinking...Lang and Dagger, because his passes aren't going to anyone. At least his defensive game is still being used.
- I was kind of sad Patches and Chipper didn't play (and apparently went back to Hamilton already) but what can ya do eh?
- Finally Crosby gets a real good goal. Nice wrap around.
- Those boards should be checked. Nearly gave Fleury a heart attack on that weird one...
- I really like Malkin but I think he's doing way too much on his own.
- Fleury only faced 19 shots because the team was playing defense. Well, not much else they can do while on the PK anyway.
- Kovy confusing players and commentators. "He'll dump it in and go for a change--no wait, he's still going!"
- 1 Kovy check, revenge on being checked. At least it wasn't an elbow. (Glad he stopped doing that).
- Penalties were called right, though I know people will probably whine about what Gui! did to Crosby in that scrum behind the net, but it wasn't called. Crosby tried to hit Gui! later soon after, but just bounced off him and Gui! still had the puck. Must have picked up a few balancing tricks from Laraque since I've noticed he's pretty solid at just deflecting hits while doing board work.
- I think we had 1 power play.
- Um...That was an interesting save by Fleury on Lapierre's attempted shortie though I think Fruit Punch just shot high anyway.
- Shot blocking was good, no one deflected pucks into their own nets, and this time Cube didn't swat a puck in either.
- Game made me sweat.
- Priceberg steals games. There's a reason why he's the Number 1 guy and why Huet was traded. This is just one of those reasons.
- I love hearing the Carey chant in other cities. THIS my friends is why we love him. Now, keep voting.

In conclusion: Price now has his own video game.


Other observations:
- I can't watch the Spengler Cup because I can't tell what is hockey and what is advertising. It's disgusting...
- Scott Hartnell broke his toe. The big one.
- I'm thinking of going downstairs to watch the Sens/Flames game. Yes, thinking about it...

Swedes Play Hockey in Giant Golf Balls

I know this isn't about the Habs but it was a lazy Sunday and I had nothing else to do but flip channels. Oh, I did some laundry actually. That's always good to do. Anyway, the Sens and Pens were playing overseas in what looked like a giant golf ball or a crashed Death Star and I thought "Hey! It's hockey! I don't like either team but Fleury is a funny guy so maybe I'll watch it and drink some tea."

Ya, um... Hartsburg? Is that your new tactic to getting the Sens to play hard by having everyone all over the place? Whatever works for you, man.

Also noticed Therrien has the Pens playing just like he had the Canadiens play. In other words: badly. Have fun with Fedotenko and Satan.

In other news:
The Hamilton Bulldogs beat the Toronto Marlies and won the Iceberg Cup from some preseason mini tournament thing, and Desharnais got MVP. And for the record, I really hope the Habs give this little guy a serious look one day. He may be small but he's damn good!