Habs 4, Whalercanes 1: Let's break some bread

Dig in, my friends.


Whalercanes tried real hard to bore the game in their favour
- Not bloody likely.
- Happy 300th for Price!
- PK gets the Molson Cup and NHL's 2nd star of the month. One step towards the Norris ya?
- First goal was thanks to Emelin knocking Price into his net... Yea they didn't score first for a change.
- But that's ok. Markov got one on their rare powerplay opportunity soon after.
- Markov and PK are 1 and 2 in powerplay points in the League!
- Bouwmeester! Regehr! Handzus! Zolnierczyk! Trade deadline shows everywhere just flipped their collective tables. Ready for a Wednesday of conditional pick swaps?
- Really. Flyers trading Zolnierczyk for Jay Rosehill... I'm thinking they did it just to troll everyone into writing Zolnierczyk, because Jay Rosehill?
- Habs automatically win the Sabres-Kings Regehr trade by not trading for Regehr.
- Price haters still back in their caves, chewing their fingers.
- Been some time since Gorges swooped in and blocked shots that way too.
- Gord Dwyer releated to Patrick Dwyer? (Actually, it was the other douche Marc Joannette that deserved some chin music, hockey style)..
- Seriously, find me where it says "holding the legs of a player trying to get back up and then tackling him back down to the ice" is allowed? Even my dog vomited over your putridity.
- In your face because the Whalercanes went 0-for-all-your-attempts-at-giving-them-a-chance.
- About time Patches went to the net to bang one in. You make your own luck.
- Though the monkey seems to have jumped now from Patches to Desharnais. How you wiff on a perfect wide open toe drag................?
- If anyone deserved a goal, it was Jeff Halpern. Waivers anyone?
- First point for Booleeoo on the assist. (Is it that hard to pronounce Beaulieu? Boh-le-yuh. Repeat it). He's actually playing better than I thought he would. And hasn't given up a shortie yet.
- Sucks for Armstrong but...yea, might want to look where you're going guys...
- The crowd wanted Price to go for the empty net. Some fucking Whalercane got in the way. Guess they couldn't handle the thought of TWO goalies scoring on them in one year (even though Brodeur's was really them putting it in their own net).
- But that's ok. After the 80th try, Patches finally put it in.

AND HALPERN DESERVES THAT FIRST STAR! I don't give a shit what anyone says. Fan voting just proves the fans care more about this team's players and appreciates the hard workers more than the mediots. And Bobby Dollas.

Habs 4, Jets 3: Find a way and win

Remember that clusterfuck of a game in Edmonton with the millions of stupid calls and Yakupov's heroics saving the game? We just got a taste of that. But no sliding across the ice to land in prayer on a game tying goal. Instead, the Gallys took over the game and saved this team from what would have surely been a loss last season.

Four in a row.
- I do not, will not, ever not give a fuck about Perry Pearn. Good bye.
- Habs/Jets (Threshers) games tend to be weird. Tonight was weird and wonky. Could have easily gone 7-8.
- Dear PK, you have no idea how much the PK is missing you. Also every D outside of Markov/Emelin ae starting to show their warts, and Gorges could really use you next to him. Can't get back soon enough.
- Price had a better 3rd than the first two periods. Especially with the zero clean up in front. Good thing for him, he's not playing tomorrow.
- Good thing for him Gorges is a pretty good goalie too.
- DD is still sucking. Tonight they tried Prust, Gally, Galchy, Moen, Youppi. Seriously, you're running out of options. Apparently Patches doesn't need you (though we know this already) but rather the other way around. And even then nothing is working.
- Am I the only one who thinks Gallagher looks like a micro Channing Tatum?
- Off the schneid: Bourque finally didn't shot for orbital sattelites! And Erik Cole collected a gift from the Gallys.
- Honestly, I thought they were playing Lacrosse half the game...
- Did you know 27+73=100?

By the way, RDS math.

- Prust says he was hit from behind and fell down. Apparently that's now a penalty.
- Though you have to admit, it was funny seeing everyone go after Antropov. Like, don't piss off the dwarves!
- That call, however, made my dog vomit.
- Markov and the powerplay = Norris, Masterton, Hart. All the accolades!
- Ron Hainsey scored a goal for the Habs.
- Gally had a goal and assist with the least amount of ice time on the whole team (about 9:22). He knows how to compensate.
- Emelin says привет! Kane does not approve. Boohoo.
- The last 30 minutes killed me.

Taking 8 of 10 points so far? Excellent. Keeping the Gallys? Excellent. Best players on the ice. We'd be lost without those crazy kids. Onwards to Ottawa!

Habs 4, Devils 3: The Markov Process

This is not Andrei Markov

Andrey Markov was a Russian mathematician with a crazy beard who helped develop the theory of stochastic process, particularly those aptly referred to as Markov Chains. Don't ask me how to tie this to hockey. I studied art not math.

Andrei Markov is the reconstructed Russian defenceman of the Montreal Canadiens who developed the ability to not give a damn about errors in overtime (but will bitch about them if they prove costly) and score game winning goals. Also I don't think he can grow a beard.

I HATE THE FUCKING DEVILS
- But wait! What was that?! Actual exciting back-and-forth h...h...hockey?! I swear I think I even saw the Devils players enjoying themselves while their coaches got super uncomfortable.
- Then again, the Habs scored two goals in the first period. This is like foreign territory for the Devils.
- Ryan White, guys. Ryan White! BAMF!
- Gallagher's first NHL goal was so beautiful, the video and a photo of the moment was whisked over to the Habs Hockey Hall of Fame!

- OK it wasn't, but it should! Gally Squared!
- Lost in all this fun was the Double Giontas...
- And Pierre Gauthier was back, scouting for the Hawks...
- You know who pisses me off? Patrik Elias. If that goal had sound it would be BOING.
- Naturally the fun we had in the first period was quickly snuffed back to bore you to death Devils style hockey. How dare we have a good time, right?
- A Prusty goal is a pretty one! And it wasn't shorthanded either.
- Price thanked his goalposts, Siegfried and Roy, with a stick tap to Goon.
- My heart stopped seeing Kovalchuk break through on a breakaway (cherry picker). Cassé!
- The Cole Train is just warming up...
- We STILL need PK. The penalty kill is really reaching with those tiny legs in the back.
- As is the players who can't seem to skate fast enough to get that one icing that turned into a really stupid goal.
- Meanwhile I advocate no-touch icing.
- DD appears to have trouble handling anything these days, including pucks. Yet somehow Eller gets punished for it. Truly fascinating.
- Zubrus was a fairly useless Hab, by the way.
- OK so I really don't hate Patrik Elias. I just hate him as a Devil. He's a pro and totally didn't cry about the OT penalty like most players do.
- Of course various random Leaf fans on twitter called it a dive when it was clearly a penalty. They're just upset the Leafs blow. And not just at hockey.
- I'm stunned every time Rene Bourque does something really good then absolutely misses the net. If the goal were in orbit, he'd be Wayne Gretzky.
- And I was stunned watching Markov leave the point only to make his way down to the side of the net and get replaced by Bourque. He shot it wide. Markov fixed it.

The Devils could do us all a favour and kindly fuck off back to Kansas. No one will miss them.

Well, this is good.  Doing it without Patches who had an appendectomy the night before. Oh right, Kaberle was scratched, whatever. It was ugly but they powered through it to beat an actual team that was rolling 3-0. Whatever Therrien did or fed them, keep doing it.

WOO!

Habs 4, Caps 1: No ribs for you

Ultimate poker face

What is this? This...thing called goal cushion? It was such a rarity in these recent years I don't think we know how to react to it.

It's like Markov and how everyone is remembering how he used to play. It's been THAT long. Coincidence this is coming as he's actually playing. That's the problem with this fan base: selective, short, and sometimes revisionist memory. It's already starting with regards to PK.

I was initially scared, then curious how HCMT2.0's Habs would play on the road against the Caps who haven't won a game yet. He claimed they will play their game and not give much of a crap how the Caps come out. You could understand after years of being promised things like "puck possession" and such that one would be wary of a coach's promises, Or too often the Habs would just be boring on the road. Pretty much everything the coach said was done.

Of course it helped the Caps continued to play like shit.

Somewhere Mickey Ribs is complaining about something
- Waaaahhhh.
- You could shoot Price with a poison dart and he wouldn't flinch. Actually you could probably toss a nuke in his lap and he'd knock it away to the side.
- Don't look now but I think Adam Oates' brow furrowed!
- Of course it took four (FOUR!) goals in the second period for that poker face to crack, slightly.
- Then again it could have just been the lighting.
- Markov! Pleky! Gionta! Gorges!(?)
- Incredible set up by Bourque on Gionta's goal. If this GOOD Bourque continues and BAD Bourque remains buried somewhere in the trunk of a car then no buyout for him!
- Can't say the same for Kaberle. The KaKa-Cube pairing was killing me, even when they were up 4-0. Dump him and give the money to PK.
- Only other problem in a rather perfect night was the faceoffs. Putrid. I think I only remember one win, and it was Ryan White. And they lost the puck right after anyway.
- I don't know about you but the Caps haven't been the same since they lost that playoff series to the Habs. They keep trying to change, but honestly, maybe they should just go back to their old selves. At least they were a better show...
- And stop fuxing with Ovechkin. Let him play!
- Cole takes some time to warm up, but DD still isn't good... Here's a suggestion: Put Galchy between Cole/Pacioretty and let Eller play between Prust/Gally. If it doesn't work, switch the two and see how that looks.
- Emelin was epic on the penalty kill.
- I think we have a winner! The better Swiss Mister is Diaz. Though to be fair he did play a long time in the Swiss League so he has that edge over Weber...

Ça roule...

The bottle-mic is Gallagher.

Habs 3, Bruins 2: Making statements

If this game was a statement for the Habs, that statement would be "we're ready to play, we will score goals, we will defend, we will push and not be pushed around, and we will continue rolling".

If this game was a statement for the Bruins, that statement would be "yes we lost a big part of our team, and we will try to win games with the force of a featherduster. What? Why are you hitting us? You're supposed to pity us".

When you've seen the Bruins as much as we have, they really are an empty shell of their former self. Actually, they've been like that pretty much all year really. At least when they've faced us...

I feel like I don't know them anymore.

Anyway, how about this statement. Sergei Kostitsyn: in 2 games he has 3 goals, 1 assist, and was first start in both. Yet he can't buy a chance on the powerplay...

Dear Bored Montreal Media,

Fuck you.

Love,
Carey Price and Andrei Markov

Habs 5, Panthers 4: Win ugly

On this New Year's Eve, a blue moon shines bright, and it apparently sucked out all of Jaro's abilities. Thankfully it appears to have affected Vokoun just as much. But seriously I'm tired of people going all Jaro this and Jaro that... Even my DAD sees his problem with rebounds and his inability to freeze a puck when it needs to be frozen. And this is what he does on a consistent basis. Oddly enough his rebound problem wasn't what caused the goals, but when you're weak on two and were the victim of two breakaways, it would make us all feel better if that puck could freeze more with a one-goal game, especially when your teammates are running around and scrambling everywhere... Nevertheless, better to have him backing up Price than Sanford (who appears to be consistently injuring himself) and padding his stats on weaker teams. Wake up, people: Markov is our litmus paper.

Road trip success 6-1. We'll just forget about the Ottawa game that was gift wrapped by Kerry Fraser. Oh and Chris Fucking Lee still managed to leave his mark on tonight's game. Happy New Year's, Fucker.

Now...about staying healthy, Habs...

Peek-a-BOOOOOO

Cluck like a chicken!
- BennyPoo, may you continue doing what you do.
- Cammy! Scored on the road. I know, shocking eh? Brett Hull style from the knees.
- HMCS Hal Gill fired a torpedo, one casualty (Vokoun's confidence).
- Gomez has been inspired lately, perhaps coinciding with the impending return of his BFF Gionta?
- Horton hears a boo. Cherry picking useless entity.
- Patches played like a man possessed and had to fill in for BOTH Kostitsyns tonight as Sergei injured himself in warmup and Ballard did something to Andrei during the game (Lapierre went after him later).
- No goalies were harmed during this game both on and off the ice.
- I heard it's the first time this year the building was sold out. Sadly for the Panthers, it was all Habs fans.
- Even with Vokoun tugging on his skates, Pleky still managed to score.
- Slippy finally hits a target.
- Frolik reminds me of a hobbit, but cuter. He's just adorable.
- Two delay-of-game penalties in a row, overlapping for a 5-on-3...but it was the Panthers at fault! I know, shocking eh?

Messy and ugly, but a win and free wings to close off the season means all is right with the world.

And the dessert? Canada vs USA at the WJC! And it was a great game for our Danny "The Count" Kristo. So conflicted on my cheering tonight! Anyway it was a 4-4 game in which USA dominated and Canada looked like a bunch of children, until finally Eberle (who reminds me a lot of Pleky in how he skates and cradles the puck) did what he did last year. It ended in a shootout where everyone was scoring until Jordan Schroeder was finally stopped by Jake Allen. Tripping on the puck for a victory splat, it was another classic, regardless of how ugly it was. And I'm in love with Kristo.

Hey, ugly wins all around eh? And I'm closing out 2009 a happy fan but with an annoyingly terrible cold. Happy New Years everyone!

Habs3, Islanders 0: Zombies don't like snow storms

Ho ho ho! The Markov 79 strikes again.

I can take the signal down! The call has been answered! Andrei Markov has returned! The heavens have opened and belched down a pile of snow for this Hallmark moment.

And what better way to stop the slide than a trip to New York to visit the slumping, disinterested zombie Islanders. They're just what the doctor ordered! But don't think you'll enjoy this type of game if Atlanta remains it's annoyingly cocky bastard self on Monday 'cause tonight was a battle of pure slop. I only hope this win gives them some confidence to stop playing like they're sleepwalking.

This is, of course, assuming they get out to Atlanta considering the storm...

HAPPY! HAPPY! JOY! JOY!

POWERPLAY!
- Three powerplay goals was all she wrote. Almost got a fourth but Biron decided to be good at the end of the game.
- The glorious return of Markov! Two of those powerplay goals, thank you very much. Only has 45 games to get back up there.
- Metro with the last powerplay goal. And Guimauve wonders why he lost his powerplay time to Metro? It's only his 4th goal of the year there.
- Fourty shots? I honestly don't remember that many...
- Tavares was where? Okposo was doing all the work tonight. Moulson lost interest after Jaro stopped him twice in close.
- Everytime Metro-Moen-Patches were sniffing for a goal, they drew a penalty instead. Which is good but they really wanted to score!
- Islanders players spent more time falling on their ass than playing.
- Pleky showing his fatigue. The penalty box was renamed the vacation box. Cranky night. My hamster Pleky was also cranky tonight. Hmm...
- The Mara/Rhino pairing on D will ragdoll you
- Sergei created some great chances and caused much havoc but Pierre Houde couldn't get Brunet to give the kid any credit or compliment. He just wanted to point out the bad stuff.... Like the nice set up he made for Gomez who was too late to convert.
- Streit was showing why Bob wasn't willing to give him that high priced contract.
- Laraque asking Sutton to dance for his hit on Pleky was lame. You think Sutton will go with Laraque? He's smarter than that. You have to either get in his face or hit him like a target all night.
- Like when Hunter went after Markov, Moen went after Hunter
- Our special teams rock, including a 4 minute penalty kill that spent more time in the other end.
- For a moment I thought Jaro was doing like Mike Smith and might have actually picked up a thing or two about puckhandling from Price...and then he went back to the normal Jaro. Almost screwed up his shutout bid too... Ah well, that's our Jaro!
- So they really do call penalties with 2 seconds left eh?
- Apparently they asked the crowd to move closer to the rink to fill up the empty seats. The Islanders fans had long left if they were there in the first place. It was a sea of red, white, and blue...and not the American flag.
- About time this team worked for a shutout!

OK Habs fans... I know the trip to Long Island is cool and all, but when you start singing the Goodbye song, in someone else's home, it just makes you a crowd of douchebags. Though heckling Biiiiiiiiron in his own building was hilarious.

THE ONE AND ONLY!

Vodkov! He's alive! He's... He's... He's... SKATING!!! And he thinks he'll be back earlier than expected! (Like early January).

Unfortunately he also sounds like he's going to try to go to the Olympics... But, if he wants to get himself back into gameshape quicker, I guess that's as good a place as any to do it.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, a tap dance: Habs 4, Blackhawks 1

I refuse to use any snarky "Blackhawk Down" pun!

So apparently The Bob said NO to the Barber Pole because it not only buzzed with the TVs but buzzed his players eyes. One player particularily buzzed by them was the Priceberg, who couldn't tell between a defenseman and a forward in them. The numbers are a bit hard to read, actually... And though I love the Barber Pole, the Habs instead came out in the CA ones. Unfortunately, retro sweater night was not complimented by awesome retro styled goalie pads tonight. Guess they're worn out already. (Apparently their lifespan isn't very long). NEVERTHELESS: Ohhhh what a win!

Hey, you look farmiliar...
- The CristoWall made his return to Montreal. Was it irony that he was the Habs netminder when Chicago rolled into town last season (defeated in overtime, I remember a very angry Lalime). And while there was concern about which Huet would appear, well, apparently the Crystal-Wall showed up.
- He was cheered, not booed! But he got jeered. Huet probably happy this is the only city capable of jeering his name with the correct pronounciation.
- The Hawks are a fast young team, they've got about 6 players in the high +/- range and many goals and points sco--GOAL. Kovy gets a weaksauce turnover and it's 1-0 with only 25 second knocked off the clock.
- Price was playing "follow the bouncy puck". Said he and Rollie were working on leg work and puck tracking. The results? A++++!
- So the Habs started the season with Andrei Kostitsyn getting his head smashed into the glass. And now we're ending the season with Sergei Kostitsyn getting his head smashed into the glass. Only this time they're on the same line so big brother immediately ran in there and went after the guy. Obviously like last time there was no boarding penalty, and Andrei gets a 5, 2, and 10. So mom and pop Kostitsyn came all this way to watch their baby get injured and their big boy sit in the box for half the game.
- Which was a shame because when he was finally out of the box, he was slowly showing the moves he picked up by Kovy as the game went on. Pity...
- Patrick Kane didn't get much time to play with old buddy Sergei, either. Have to wait for next year...
- Price knocked old buddy Jonathan Toews into best buddy Gorges, and got a make-up penalty though.
- I like Huet's new helmet.
- Gui! with the pop fly goal. He circled the net just in case he needed to hit it in again. I have no idea what the hell Lapierre was doing to him after he scored though. That was...weird.
- Markov is funny when he scores.
- Higgins feels the wind of a Schneider Play. Probably feels like when he was 10 watching Schneider win the Cup.
- I'm loving this edition of Coach Bob.
- Tanguay getting many break away chances but not getting anything. Koivu was explaining to him how to score on Huet while on the bench later.
- Not a good night for the refs... Two no calls on a Kovy trip, and a pretty bad slash on our Masterton Trophy nominee Breezer.
- Habs won 40 faceoffs to the Hawks 24! I'M IN SHOCK!!!
- Markov MVP, I love the way he can get back in time to neutralize a breakaway without taking a penalty.
- Hammer, not so much. And he got injured on top of that...
- PK was solid. Even had some shorthanded work. PP was 50%.
- The Hawks hadn't scored in 6 periods. Brutal schedule for them, they gotta dash home to play the suddenly hot for the playoffs Blues.
- Joel Quenneville was one unhappy man.
- I can never tell if Bob is happy or unhappy. I think I saw a smile and some twinkle in his eye during the Press Conference though!
- Win = Price throws his stick to the crowd.
- Apparently Sergei was noted as being OK after the game, laughing and talking Russian with other players. So apparently he got the english knocked out of him. But damn, those Kostitsyns are built tough eh?

Conclusion: I was pretty sick when I came home. I had no appetite, I was on the verge of vomitting... So I curled up on the sofa with a cup of tea and the game just cured whatever ailed me. Good thing too because I was too tired to make my miracle cure soup. Whatever. BIG SHINY WIN!

Also apparently tonights win permanently knocks the Sens and Leafs out of the playoffs. What?

Enemy at the gates!
- Actually the standings are bloody weird. Between 9th and 4th place, each team is separated by 1 fucking point.
- Why the win knocks the Sens out permanently is because they lost to the fucking Panthers, 5-2. Waka waka.
- Bruins beat the Bolts 3-1. Yawn... Though Chara tried to fight Artyuhin. And by "try" I mean smacked his helmet until the RT knocked Lurch over with the take down.
- DALLAS WINS! Against LA...
- Edmonton is sinking with an overworked Roloson. Beaten by the Ducks 5-3.
- The consolation prize for missing the playoffs isssssss... Playing in the World Series. Unless you're like Roloson and can't MOVE anymore.
- Only two Habs (well three, but I've no idea if you can count Andrew Loverock anymore) remain in the Memorial Cup drive. Olivier Fortier, who just signed a contract with the Habs, is pretty much set to play anyway considering Rimouski is hosting it (and boy are they stacked and ready). PK Subban's Bulls ran into a hot Loverock who seems to be outplaying them hard... Looks like they might have to take their series all the way.
- The Leafs signed Christian Hanson of the Fighting Irish to an entry level contract. Yes, he's the son of a Hanson brother. Leave it to Brian Burke to sign a Hanson. The real question is, did he bring his fucking toys with him?