Habs 5, Sens 4 (OT): Difficult decisions?

Carey Price was on his way to seeing another of his fine performances melt into the loss column when Jared Cowen decided to be Jared "mouth agape" Cowen and punted a rebound off Plekanec's second oddly successful breakaway into the net. Overtime, PK Subban saved Therrien's job.

Bergervin was reported to have met Price after the game to congratulate him and thank him from preventing him from having to make "difficult decisions". And we're all sitting here yelling NO PLEASE DO SOMETHING FIX IT! Fuck, man. CALL SOMEONE UP. I don't know what the number graphs were talking about but there was now way in hell this game was in favour of the Habs. We were Leafing It. And come Saturday when the Habs play the Leafs, we'll get to see who can Leaf It better.

I fear the Universe might implode.

But maybe, like always, Therrien will get a deja-vu and find himself back on RDS spouting nonsense about PK's genuinely exuberant game winning goal celebrations. Because that seems to happen all the time. Leafs get coaches fired, and not just their own coaches.

Habs 3, Sens 4 (OT): Bat in your belfry

"The Dark Knight Rises" is the headline I get on my phone, as Brière's fills in for an injured Ryan White. And I quote, "After a two-game exodus, Daniel Brière proved that he was the hero this city deserves."

Keep spinning, spin doctors. They still lost the game.

At the very least it maybe slightly increased his trade value.

Also there was a bat in the Bell Centre, which is better than TD Bank Garden's flies.

Habs 1, Sens 6: End

This is the way the world ends.

Not with a bang, but a whimper.

Heal up.

Suit up.

Eat up.

Cowboy Up.

And remember, LEAFS SUCK.

(Also remember, Habs lasted longer than the Canucks).

Top 10 ways Habs can win Round 1 VS. The Senators

That's right folks. From 15th to 2nd, your Montreal Canadiens are Divisional Champions. And because the Bruins appear to still be in a coma, they lost their deciding game, and ripped out of the gleeful fingers of HNiC the "sure bet" (not really) Habs-Leafs playoffs series everyone but myself was waiting for. (Even though there will be plenty of chances for that under the new format, assuming the Red Wings don't ruin everything, which they do). Instead, we get to ride the fucking 417 to Ottawa while stabbing ourselves in the ears over every Erik Karlsson lovefest while dodging raccoons and trucks.

Seriously folks, I'm glad for the Thursday start, but I can't take four days of every mediot gushing over Karlsson. I'm not going to make it.

But fear not! Top 10 ways is back for this sprinted season! So if I don't survive til Thursday, here's hoping the Habs do, and prep themselves accordingly.

10. Lars Eller will switch jerseys with David Desharnais between shifts, especially when a powerplay is designated, guaranteeing him at least 20 minutes of ice time to score a goal and set up 2 others. People will casually forget how tall he is, and maybe not notice altogether as they'll be blinded by the glow of his pale Scandinavian skin.

9. Jarred Tinordi vs Jared Cowen. Mind = Blown. (Or maybe that was just Cowen's knee again. Again).

8. If you see a guy with crazy hair and a wild beard who's a "son" of an "Alfred", probably a good idea not to have a Bouillon on the ice. Especially with a few minutes left in a period where he might score a goal while you blinked.

7. If we've all fallen asleep by the 2nd period of Game 1, someone set up a Youppi/Spartacat cage match. Please.

6. As this series appears to be a confrontation between two possible Jack Adams nominees, I think it's high time someone set up Paul MacLean's look-alike with Michel Therrien's look-alike. They're practically made for each other!

5. Remember that game in Pittsburgh that closed the series in your favour and shut down the Igloo? Remember that moment, Travis Moen? Now would be the best time in a rather half asleep season of yours for you to channel the Travis Moen of that night and dipsy doodle around Sergei Gonchar like nobody's business. Otherwise, someone might dipsy doodle around Markov. Hopefully you do it first.

4. The Senators motto was "Tied at 1, taking it to OT, win in a shootout". Thankfully there are no shootouts in the playoffs. But Habs would do themselves a grand favour in NOT letting Silfverberg zoom off on a breakaway to unleash his top-shelf snipe. Because that's all he does.

3. If Chris Neil tries to start shit, just let Brendan Gallagher laugh in his face. Else, punch him in the gums. Or push his helmet over his eyes.

2. Whatever you do, make sure it pisses off Denis Potvin so much, he goes on an epic condescending rant about some injustice or some such. Hopefully it includes a goal by PK Subban after an epic stumble by Kyle Turris or Guimauve (to equally annoy RDS).

1. The plan for Craig Anderson is simple: Replace efficient Clorox ice cleaner brigade with ice girls.

Seems all these preview shows only believe there's one player playing for the Habs, and he's not allowed past the red line. Nuts to you, rest of the team. Guess you can go home early. Yet in the end, it's like they're begrudgingly putting you to win the series...with a few thousand buts attached to it. Shove it in their faces, boys.

Go Habs Go!

Habs 4, Sens 3 (SO): Slumber party

Thanks for coming, Sens. Next time bring milk and cookies, and your own pillow.

They're the New Devils. Snoozerrific, and taking the game to OT/SO. (Most likely a shootout, because they'll just bank on Silvferberg to score every time and pray their goalie stops all).

And their boring plan almost worked too.
 - It's funny how when Price makes all these big key stops, no one remembers those. Nor the pylons in front of him.
- And when Markov opted to pass on an empty net instead of most likely scorring, then offered Wiercioch tea as he just gave up the zone... I don't care if Wiercioch is an AHLer. He's got a heavy shot. He's a hockey player. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING BACKING UP ON HIM.
- But seriously. The "what have you done for me lately" shouldn't go by the fucking second.
- The guys have to pressure the puck carrier more and not allow a fucking passing clinic go on in their own zone if they want to continue being the best.
- Next fat coach who bitches about "diving" when his fucking player has his stick so far down a Habs pants that it's fucking DIRTY, I say throw a puck at him.
- And what the hell is wrong with you? Your fucking player crosschecks then hooks DD on the fucking NECK. Why don't you tell your players to stop it or bench them you whiny walrus?
- Also Markov's face is not a puck. Stop high sticking him.
- Eller: Harlem Globetrotter.
- You got Larsed.
- Euro Staal.
- Don't call him Larry.
- Hey, PK! You're underpaid.
- And who told you the Habs will be paying him later if they didn't pay him earlier? This girl. Better start this summer, Bergevin.
- Habs scored 17 power plays goals this year. PK was involved in 16 of them.
- By the way, Drew Doughty has 0 goals.
- Still laughing at how Gallagher snuck in and stole Pacioretty's goal. That's revenge for the rookie dinner bill.
- I thought for sure Alfredsson would end the game in the shootout. Thankfully, no. He scored his obligatory goal.
- Silfverberg, on the other hand, well that's all he does. I think 80% of his goals are breakaways/shootouts.
- Galchenyuk asked Budaj if Lehner was the same goalie he went up against in Ottawa. Nope, this one is shorter. Only 6'3.
- Thank god you guys realized to shoot high on him.
- Eller pretty much mirrored Galchy's goal.
- GO HOME, TURRIS.
- "It sucks. I'm biting like it's awesome." Lehner on his shootout problems.

Habs are first in the East, and first in the East to reach 40 points. Take a bow, boys!

On a more serious note, Blake Geoffrion announced he's considering retirement because he feels there's no significant improvement to his condition. I'm so sad about this news! I'll never forget the noise of the hit. However I am glad a hockey player has put his priority on his life and his health over a game. A game that has already claimed a member of his family...

Good luck, BamBam.

Habs 1, Sens 2 (SO): ALL YOUR POSTS ARE BELONG TO US

McKayla is unimpressed by your goalposts.

That 8-foot goalie the Sens want to trade, Ben Bishop, and his mighty posts were the story of the game. Not much else you can do. Though I can say I am happy the Habs bucked the usual trend of what happens after Price picks up a 3-0 shutout (ie, they usually get shutout in the next game).


Picking up the point is important though. Take all you can get.

AND WILL SOMEONE SHOVE THAT CHRIS NEIL TROLL BACK UNDER HIS FUCKING BRIDGE PLEASE?

Now if you excuse me, I have some arts and crafts to do.