Top 10 ways Habs can win Round 1 VS. The Senators

That's right folks. From 15th to 2nd, your Montreal Canadiens are Divisional Champions. And because the Bruins appear to still be in a coma, they lost their deciding game, and ripped out of the gleeful fingers of HNiC the "sure bet" (not really) Habs-Leafs playoffs series everyone but myself was waiting for. (Even though there will be plenty of chances for that under the new format, assuming the Red Wings don't ruin everything, which they do). Instead, we get to ride the fucking 417 to Ottawa while stabbing ourselves in the ears over every Erik Karlsson lovefest while dodging raccoons and trucks.

Seriously folks, I'm glad for the Thursday start, but I can't take four days of every mediot gushing over Karlsson. I'm not going to make it.

But fear not! Top 10 ways is back for this sprinted season! So if I don't survive til Thursday, here's hoping the Habs do, and prep themselves accordingly.

10. Lars Eller will switch jerseys with David Desharnais between shifts, especially when a powerplay is designated, guaranteeing him at least 20 minutes of ice time to score a goal and set up 2 others. People will casually forget how tall he is, and maybe not notice altogether as they'll be blinded by the glow of his pale Scandinavian skin.

9. Jarred Tinordi vs Jared Cowen. Mind = Blown. (Or maybe that was just Cowen's knee again. Again).

8. If you see a guy with crazy hair and a wild beard who's a "son" of an "Alfred", probably a good idea not to have a Bouillon on the ice. Especially with a few minutes left in a period where he might score a goal while you blinked.

7. If we've all fallen asleep by the 2nd period of Game 1, someone set up a Youppi/Spartacat cage match. Please.

6. As this series appears to be a confrontation between two possible Jack Adams nominees, I think it's high time someone set up Paul MacLean's look-alike with Michel Therrien's look-alike. They're practically made for each other!

5. Remember that game in Pittsburgh that closed the series in your favour and shut down the Igloo? Remember that moment, Travis Moen? Now would be the best time in a rather half asleep season of yours for you to channel the Travis Moen of that night and dipsy doodle around Sergei Gonchar like nobody's business. Otherwise, someone might dipsy doodle around Markov. Hopefully you do it first.

4. The Senators motto was "Tied at 1, taking it to OT, win in a shootout". Thankfully there are no shootouts in the playoffs. But Habs would do themselves a grand favour in NOT letting Silfverberg zoom off on a breakaway to unleash his top-shelf snipe. Because that's all he does.

3. If Chris Neil tries to start shit, just let Brendan Gallagher laugh in his face. Else, punch him in the gums. Or push his helmet over his eyes.

2. Whatever you do, make sure it pisses off Denis Potvin so much, he goes on an epic condescending rant about some injustice or some such. Hopefully it includes a goal by PK Subban after an epic stumble by Kyle Turris or Guimauve (to equally annoy RDS).

1. The plan for Craig Anderson is simple: Replace efficient Clorox ice cleaner brigade with ice girls.

Seems all these preview shows only believe there's one player playing for the Habs, and he's not allowed past the red line. Nuts to you, rest of the team. Guess you can go home early. Yet in the end, it's like they're begrudgingly putting you to win the series...with a few thousand buts attached to it. Shove it in their faces, boys.

Go Habs Go!