10. Sign Stan Chion to a try out. Re-introduce him to Chara. I hear they've had a falling out and Stan is eager to get reacquainted if you know what I mean.
9. Yes boys! That is indeed Tomas Kaberle. Andrei Kostitsyn's favourite pylon.
8. Repeat after me: The penalty box is an evil place. Life is better skating freely.
7. Remove Pouliot's brain and replace it with the fully cloned brain of Max Pacioretty Dr. Mulder was growing since he went down. Considering how quickly he recovers and how pain resistant he is, the brain should be fully functional within the hour. Finally, Pouliot will be a competent hockey player and not the laziest first rounder in his draft class.
6. It's Happy Ryder Hour at all Montreal pubs!
5. Have Alex Auld wear his mask the whole time to forever have the Eye of Dryden on Boston's soul.
4. When the going in Boston gets tough, distract them with a "OMG THERE'S A YANKEES FAN OVER THERE!" Sit back as the chaos ensues, and return to the hockey game.
3. That Bruins Bear would make a mighty fine trophy for Carey Price's hunting collection.
2. Ryan White is a BAD ASS MOTHER FUCKER! Cry "Havoc!" and let slip the dogs of war!
1. Have Lars Eller invoke the power of Tore Vikingstad, Norse God of Hockey. The Great Dane will write his own chapter in hockey history.
1 comment:
Stan Chion ... that's good.
Post a Comment