Never fear, for my 2nd round playoff preview is here!

Now that you've all thrown your brackets out and basically lost in your playoff pools, it's time for my half-assed preview of the second round! Are you even awake? Yea me neither.

IN THE EAST!
New York Rangers (1) VS. Washington Capitals (7)
Where have I seen this before? Oh right. EVERY YEAR! But now the Caps play like the Rangers play and no one can score/hit the broadside of a barn. So...Caps in 7. Now excuse me while I go marry Joel Ward for knocking the Bruins out.

Philadelphia Flyers (5) VS. New Jersey Devils (6).
Lucky for the Flyers, Fleury went back to sucking and the Penguins lost their fucking minds. Incredible because I never thought it capable to suck more than Bryzgalov in the playoffs. But the Flyers seem to be the only fucking team in the post-season capable of scoring goals and not putting me in a coma so...I begrudgingly thank them.

Wait, Rangers and Capitals and Flyers and Devils? Patrick Division, RISE FROM YOUR GRAVE!

The Official Distract Marty Brodeur Pizza now on sale in Philadelphia.

IN THE WEST!
St. Louis Blues (2) VS. Los Angeles Kings (8)
Lord help us because these teams will score negative goals. And don't be surprised when you find yourself out cold on the sofa during the 5th quadruple overtime game tied at 0-0, waking up at 5am only to realize you didn't miss anything. Maybe someone will score before breakfast if we're lucky.

Phoenix Coyotes (3) VS. Nashville Predators (4)
Seriously. These guys might finish their games before the other match up does. Maybe. Wake me up when it's over. I predict the Western Conference will do wonders for my insomnia.