Where the Minnesota Wild Things Are

I hate back-to-back games. Give US a fucking break with your crammed AHL schedule. Actually the AHL schedule looks to be the more balanced this year. How freaky is that?

But I have an insight on how things will go down today:
- RDS holds a Latendresse tribute about 2 hours long, right after they interview him during his morning skate. A parade is scheduled for later but no one knows when.
- Bob trades Lapierre for Cal Clutterbuck by 3pm. The La-La Twins reunite and live happily ever after. The pure woolian of us all forget about complaining about the Bell Center music being 90% English and start firing off emails to the Team990 how this team doesn't represent "us" anymore. I start saving money to move a team to Quebec City so these fuckers can shut the fuck up, but I think 10$ and free parking will do just fine, right Tampa Bay?
- Coach makes the Metro-Moen-Clutterbuck line. This would be around 4pm once we're sure the fax has reached the NHL head office and are sure it didn't go into the paper shredder.
- Around 5pm, Le Baron goes on a tirade about "Cal WhatTheFuck?!" and Tom Kostopoulos laughs.
- By 6pm, it's -30 outside and the Minnesota Wild all slip on some strategically placed black ice and have to forfeit the game.
- It's 7pm and the Habs are forced to play the game anyway. They still have problems scoring on an empty net and somehow Bergeron kicks a puck in his own net accidentally.
- By 9:30pm, Habs lose 1-0 and callers still blame Price for the loss.
- Around 9:45pm Bergeron is mysteriously found under the zamboni. Carey Price denies involvment.
- At 9:50 RDS interviews Gui from his hospital room about the victory. L'Antichambre have his statue unveiled in the Plaza. Lapierre feels forgotten, somehow.
- It's 10pm and everyone decides they're too cold to care, go home, sleep grumpy.